Journal D'amour

Prologue

Eliot ran her fingers across the spine of the books that lined the shelves, Walt Whitman, Sylvia Plath, E.E. Cummings, Emily Dickerson, W.B. Yeats, Charles Baudelaire, Arthur Rimbaud, Honoré de Balzac, Lord Byron. She smiled as she saw her name sake, T.S. Eliot. She took it out and skimmed it's pages. Eliot wasn't one of her favorites but she appreciated it, knowing she was named after the famous British poet. She went to carefully put the book back.

"El?" She jumped, startled as a few books dropped to the ground.

"Jesus By…you scared the crap out of me!"

He smirked, "Sorry."

She bent down to gather the books that fell.

"I'm going to the movies with Emma…you want to come?"

"No. Thanks though." she answered her brother stacking the fallen books in her arms before righting herself. She turned and gave her brother a sad smile.

"You sure, it will be fun?" he asked, a worrisome tone to his voice now.

"Yes…I'm sure…being the third wheel while you and your girlfriend make out doesn't sound like fun." she rolled her eyes.

"Come on Eliot…I hate to see you like this. You haven't left the house in over a week. Aidan won't be there and either will that heffer Audrey. I'm worried about you."

Eliot winced at the sound of her ex boyfriend and ex best friend's names, who now were a couple. She sighed as she held the fallen books in her arms still, "I'm ok By…I promise…have a good time…tell Emma I'll call her tomorrow, maybe we can go shopping or something, a girls day out." She tried to sound okay for her brother, she was not okay.

Audrey Roberts was her best friend, or used to be. They met in Mr. Granger's health class in junior high and had been inseparable ever since. Aidan was Eliot's first boyfriend, first love, first kiss…first everything and they had been dating for 2 1/2 years. He had dumped her over a week ago for her former best friend. Byron, her brother was the only one who knew this, well and of course the student body of West Beverly. Her parents did not.

"Alright sis…if you change your mind, text me."

"K" Eliot turned back to the book shelf.

"El?" he called out peeking his head back into his fathers study.

"Yeah." she turned towards him.

"I love you." he said wholeheartedly.

Eliot smiled at her brother, she nodded, "I know…I'm fine you know." she called out hearing him leave the vicinity of the study and through the front door. "At least I'm trying to be." she whispered to herself. The truth was Eliot was heartbroken. She shook her head of thoughts of Aidan and Audrey and started to return the books that fell. She stopped seeing a very hidden unmarked leather bound book. She had never seen this one before and she had visited her father's study often. It was almost deliberately hidden behind the tons of poetry books in her father's collection. She set the fallen books on the table and reached in to grab it. She moved her right hand across it, clearing off the dust that it had collected back there. She looked towards the study door. Her parents were on a trip. It was their anniversary and they weren't expected back for another week, her brother Byron had left too, hearing the rumble of his speedster leave to go on his date with Emma. Still being alone in her home she felt as though this leather bound book was private. She bit her lip and thought, what the hell? I mean it could be nothing special at all. The pull at her heart though, told her it wasn't and she also felt like she wasn't suppose to read it. She opened it carefully, typed out on the first page read, Journal D'amour by D. M. McKay. Her eyes grew wide seeing her last name. She knew her father loved the classics, she knew his love of poetry, after all she was like him in that aspect, that was something she inherited from him unlike her brother. He may have been named after Lord Byron but he didn't have a poetic bone in his body. But what she didn't know was that he wrote an unpublished book, D. M. McKay was obviously short for Dylan Michael McKay, her father. She closed it quickly and held it against her chest. Almost as a nervous habit she looked toward the study door again. She took a deep breath and made her way out of the study and up to her room. After all, she just found a book written by her father. Even if she wasn't suppose to find it, he had kept it pretty well hidden considering she read through his collection all the time and she had never discovered it before. With a title like Love Journals translated from french to english how could she not read it? As she lay on her stomach, feet crossed in the air, she opened the book again. Looking at the title for another moment she turned the page. The dedication…

To the woman that saved me from myself.

With you, the earth was a bed of grass

We slept in it like two seeds

With you, I was more than I am

Your mouth, the sun

Made everything possible

I burn with the love that I lost

When I lost you

Jack Grapes

Eliot eyebrows pulled together. Who? Someone my dad loved and lost? She wondered if her mother knew. She wondered if this was why this book was never published? She also wondered was this why it was hidden? Her mother would have never went through those shelfs. She took a deep breath scared to turn the page. Eliot was a romantic at heart. Her parents were celebrating their fifteen year wedding anniversary. They seemed to be in love. They had a long history dating back to high school even and off and on through the years. They had known each other since they were kids. They got along for the most part. Everyone fought every once in a while. She even argued with her brother often and she loved him. She also knew math was never her strong suit but her parents were celebrating 15 years of marriage and she was 17 years old. Her parents had had an oopsie, which grossed her out but she saw them in person to see how or why that could have occurred. They were always kissing, hugging…they were best friends. Holy shit, Eliot thought, maybe my mom wasn't my dads first choice? Maybe she wasn't his soul mate like she had heard them claim before? She took a deep breath afraid to continue. What if Eliot's mom wasn't the great love of her fathers life? She thought about Aidan, how she thought he was the love of her life, apparently he was not. She swallowed hard and slowly turned the page.

November 15, 1990

Dear Diary,

So this is my newest story. I know don't throw your computers, laptops, cell phones or other portable devices at me. I haven't forgotten about my other stories. This idea came to me recently while listening to a cover of Losing My Religion and I just HAD to put it down on paper. Obviously you know Dylan has kids, not gonna say who their mother is, not going to say why this book is hidden but I will say the book is about Brenda and it is 2017. Which would mean Eliot here was born in 2000, and that my friends is when 90210 ended. Guess away! Please review, let me know if you are as intrigued as Eliot.