I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR NARUTO. (IF ONLY....) *DRIFTS OFF INTO A FANGIRL-INDUCED STUPOR....*

BY THE WAY, SHIRA'S REAL NAME IS SHIKARI NARA, BUT WHILE WITH THE AKATSUKI, SHE GOES BY SHIRA TSUKI.

MAN IN THE LONG BLACK CLOAK 2: INSANITY

MISSION ONE: HOGWARTS

Itachi frowned. "You want us to infiltrate a school?"

"Yes. You, Hidan, Sasori, Deidara and Shira will infiltrate the school. It's only for a couple years." Deidara spoke up. "Are you punishing us, hmm?"

"What do you mean?"

"The last thing any of us want is to teach snot-nosed little brats, yeah."

"You didn't seem to mind teaching Shira how to make things explode."

"..." Itachi intervened. "What's the name of the school?" Pein suddenly began laughing hysterically. "Hogwarts." The men stared at him in horror, and Hidan broke the silence. "You evil bastard!"

"Shira's not gonna be happy about this, hmm."

"Shira, please come out of there."

"NO!"

Itachi turned to Hidan. "Your turn."

"Bitch, if you don't come out of there in the next five seconds, I'm gonna snap your neck like a twig." The door slowly opened, and they looked down at her. "I hate Pein-sama." Itachi's eye twitched. Deidra and Sasori burst into hysterical laughter, and Hidan smirked. "You look like a fucking proper schoolgirl." She glared at him. "You guys are lucky! You get to be teachers, while I have to wear this...thing." She gestured at her outfit, pouting. Sasori attempted to comfort her. "Aw, come on. You look...."

"Awful." Deidara finished for him. Sasori and Shira glared at him. "You're not helping."

"I am going to wear something normal, and if you don't get out of my way, I'll kill you." They stepped aside, and she grabbed her bag, disappearing into the changing room once again. Hidan leaned against the wall. "You do realize you have to wear your uniform in class, don't you?"

"No, I don't."

"You have to in my class."

"Bastard." She stepped out of the changing room, putting on her earring. "How do I look now?" They studied her outfit: A blue jacket with a silver crescent moon on the back, a white t-shirt, blue jeans, and blue-and-white tennis shoes. "You're asking guys how you look when you know they only look at two things on a girl's body?" Shira shrieked, playfully hitting Sasori. "Knock it off! Now come on, I need to get to Sorting." They left for the Great Hall.

Dumbledore stood up. "I would like all of you to know that Professor Binns has realized he is dead, and tried to kill himself, therefore, you will have a new History of Magic Professor." This was met by cheers from the students.

"Also, this year, we shall be having two new subjects, and five new professors. On another note, we have a transfer student from Japan joining our school. Will you all please welcome Shira Tsuki." The doors swung open, and a girl strode into the room, her eyes wide as she took in the Great Hall. She didn't wear the school uniform. Her black hair was pulled back in a ponytail. She walked over to the Sorting Hat, and sat down. "GRYFFINDOR!" Shira didn't blink, just silently walked over to the Gryffindor table, and sat down next to Harry.

Harry, Ron and Hermione made their way to History of Magic. Shira was behind of them. Harry spoke. "I wonder who the teacher will be..." Shira smirked as they entered the class, and all the girls immediately squealed, including Hermione, who they thought had better sense than that. Then again, she had been one of the girls who worshipped Lockhart in their second year. "I am your Professor, Itachi Uchiha." A blur sped by them, and Itachi promptly had the wind knocked out of him as Shira threw her arms around him. "ITACHI-SAMA!" He sighed, "Shira-chan, much as I enjoy seeing you, I do need to breath." She apologized, and released him. At this point, all the girls were glaring daggers at her. "Everyone, take your seats. Now please open your 'A History of Magic' books to page 20." Many of the girls chose to gossip about Itachi, including Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil. They jumped as Itachi's hand slammed down on the table. "When I say open your books to page 20, Miss Brown and Miss Patil, I don't mean gossip about me." They blushed, and began reading.

At lunch that day, they discussed their classes. "Well, I think Professor Uchiha is very attractive!" This from Parvati. Dean snorted in disgust, "He's a cold, emotionless bastard." Everyone heard a slap, and whirled around to see Shira punching, kicking and slapping Dean. "HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT ITACHI-SAMA LIKE THAT!? I'LL KILL YOU, I'LL-" At that moment, Itachi's arm came about her waist. "LET ME GO, ITACHI-SAMA! I'M GONNA KILL 'EM! I'LL RIP HIS THROAT OUT AND-"

"What you are going to do is calm down, Shira-chan. Or I'll give you detention." She pouted. "Fine." He let her go, then walked away. Everyone stared after him for a second, then turned to look at Shira. "Um. Right. Well, what about our other classes?" Neville appeared at that moment, supported by Padma. "What happened to you?!" He only managed a few unintelligible words, then fainted. Shira blinked. I'm guessing he met Hidan no danna... "Was it Snape?" Padma shook her head. "No. Some guy who swore a lot." Yep. It's Hidan no danna. Cho Chang skipped over, a stupid grin on her face. "Man, these new teachers are really hot!" She turned to Lavender and Parvati. "Which one's your favorite?"

"Professor Uchiha. He's so hot!"

"Yeah, but he seems to know Shira a little too well, if you get my drift."

"I-It's not like that! I-I-I-" Ginny laughed. "Chill, I was just teasing you! Lighten up! So, who's your favorite, Cho ?"

"That swordsman, the one who swears a lot."

"Professor Hidan!?" Parvati stared at her. "Are you INSANE!?"

"Well, Professor Uchiha's attractive, too, but Professor Hidan has that bad-boy personality around him..."

Shira, meanwhile, had fallen eerily silent. Her mind was spinning. Another girl, an attractive girl, liked Hidan no danna. I'm just plain and boring. How can I possibly compete?! Her books slid out of her grasp, and fell to the floor. She turned, and ran away, not wanting the others to see her cry. Her books lay abandoned on the floor. Hermione picked them up, staring after Shira. She had seen the look on Shira's face before she left. She looked like she had been slapped.

Shira found them the next day, smiling widely. "Good morning, everyone!" She skipped over to them, and sat down. Hermione frowned. "What's got you so happy? Yesterday, you were really upset!"

"I guess I'm just excited about the Triwizard Tournament, and the groups arriving today!" Ron nodded. "Who wouldn't be excited?! Shame we can't enter..." Shira shrugged. "Oh, well! It'll still be fun to watch! Right, guys?" She began eating, and the others started talking about the Triwizard Tournament. At that moment, Shira looked up at the staff table, and spotted Hidan. He frowned at her, and mouthed 'Stop fucking staring at me! You'll blow the fucking mission!' Shira nodded, and returned to her food. "You know, I think Shira has a crush."

"H-Huh!?" Ron grinned. "Oh, come on! You're blushing furiously!"

"So who is it? Ron, Harry, Fred, George?"

"Maybe it's one of the teachers!" Hermione glared at them as Shira flinched. "Oh, for God's sake, leave her alone!" She changed the subject. "Shira, I've noticed you speak English as if it was your first language. How is that possible?"

"My brother taught me, and I also learned how to read English from him as well." Hidan's aura grew deadly, and Shira winced. I probably shouldn't have mentioned Shikamaru while he was in the room....That was a bad idea. "What's up with Professor Hidan?" Everyone in the Hall turned to look at him as he stormed out of the Hall, swearing about the 'Nara bastard'. Shira sighed. Yep. He's angry. I better go short-circuit this before he kills someone. She raced out of the Hall after Hidan.

"Hidan no danna! Wait!" He continued walking. "HIDAN NO DANNA! STOP!"

"What?! What the fuck do you want?!"

"I'm not going to apologize for talking about my brother. He's my brother, so you'll just have to get used to it." He snorted, and she glared at him. "You're acting like such a child!"

"That's rich, coming from a fucking fourteen-year-old!" Shira sighed in frustration, and stomped off. "You're such an idiot!"

"Takes one to know one! Bitch."

Shira stalked back into the Great Hall, muttering to herself. She sat back down, and began attacking her food with her fork. Ron smirked. "Had a fight with your boyfriend?" Shira lept over the table at him, and proceeded to throttle him. "APOLOGIZE!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't know it was that time of month!" Everyone turned to look at them. Shira slowly took out one of her kunai knives and raised it, prepared to stab Ron. Itachi, Sasori and Deidara all reacted at that moment. Sasori and Deidara grabbed Ron, yanking him away from Shira, while Itachi threw a screaming and kicking Shira over his shoulder, and carried her out of the Great Hall. Everyone stared after him, and Harry helped Ron up. "She's mental! She was gonna kill me!" Hermione glared at him, then returned to the 'Daily Prophet'. "You are such an idiot, Ronald!"

"What? What'd I say!?"

Itachi carried the screaming girl into the Room of Requirement, and threw her down on the couch. "Calm down." He began shaking her. "Calm down!" She burst into tears and Itachi froze. He didn't have any idea what to do about a crying girl! "Shira, please stop crying. Just stop crying and tell me what's wrong." She took a few shaky breaths, and spoke. "H-H-Hidan n-no d-danna g-got mad b-because I-I-I m-mentioned S-Shikamaru." Itachi sighed, putting his head in his hands. "When are you going to get along?"

"Hey! I actually try!"

"Point taken. I'll try to talk to him."

"You all fucking suck! Get the fuck out of my classroom!" The fifth-year students scattered, and Cho stood in the corner, trying to gather up the nerve to talk to Hidan. "Erm, Professor Hidan?"

"What, bitch?"

"U-Um, I'm-I'm h-having t-trouble w-with m-my-" A vein started pulsing in Hidan's forehead. She sounds like that Hyuuga bitch. "Get to the fucking point!"

"Couldyoututormeinswordsmanship!?"

"Huh?" Cho took a deep breath and tried again. "Could you tutor me in swordsmanship?"

"I'm already being forced to do that." They heard a soft cough, and looked over to see Itachi standing in the doorway. There was a definite frown on his face as he looked at Hidan. "Beat it, bitch." Cho raced out of there, and Itachi strode over to Hidan, glaring at him. "Yes, Mother?"

"Save it. Leave the 'Mother' to Konan." Hidan shrugged. "What'd I do now?!"

"You made Shira cry." Instantly, Deidara and Sasori raced into the room, ready to strangle Hidan. "YOU WHAT!?"

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, YEAH!?" Hidan put his head in his hands. "Great. Now all we need is fucking Konan." Instantly, Konan appeared in the room, and the other three Akatsuki dove for cover as she made her way over to a cowering Hidan.

Shira sat on her bed in the dormitory, crying. Everything was just so wrong! Two years ago, she had a family who cared about her, and she had friends. Now she had something similar to a family, but something was still missing. "You okay?" Shira looked up through her tears to see Hermione Granger standing over her, shifting from foot to foot awkwardly. "Y-Yeah."

"Want to talk about it?"

"No." Shee shrugged, and sat down next to her. "What's the matter?"

"I-I-" She took a deep breath. "I miss my brother."

"What happened?"

"We're...enstranged. I got lost in the woods outside my town while playing with him, and I was attacked by bandits. I later found out that my family thought I was dead. That's probably the right thing to think, since I had gone missing for two and a half years, and nobody could find me, or any hints that I was even alive." Hermione looked over at the teenager. "How'd you survive?"

"A man rescued me from the bandits, and he's been my guardian ever since. We're like one big family." She opened her mouth and shut it again. "What is it?"

"Does your family know where you are?"

"They're safer if left in the dark. From what I've heard, my Mom's blaming Dad, Dad's hit the sake again, and my brother...I don't know about him."

"What do you mean?"

"About what?"

"Your brother."

"I'm not sure whether he might try to find me again, or never forgive me."

"Why wouldn't he forgive you? It's not your fault all that happened!"

"...It's complicated." She stood up, smiling at Hermione. "Thanks for listening." They heard a scream, and Shira sighed. "Excuse me. I have to go stop a murder." With that, she sped off.