Disclaimer: In no way do I own Phantom. In no way do I consider this poem
to be a masterpiece. It is just another attempt at decent poetry. It is
still free verse but I am trying other forms as well as rhyming but I'm not
very comfortable with them yet. Also you will see a poem from me about
once a month. This will enable me to analyze each poem more and hopefully
improve. I am continuing to study poetry techniques and vocabulary as well
as write occasional stories. But poetry will always be my priority. I
hope you see some improvement and as usual any and all constructive
criticism is greatly appreciated.
My thanks to everyone out there who is supporting me with my writing style
change. Also to my constructive critic who could think of nothing to
change when I showed him this poem. I'm sure there are a few things that
could be better but I'm still too inexperienced to spot them yet but I'm
trying.
On a lighter note: Happy 2004 to everyone.
Masterpiece
A painter sits diligently working
on yet another masterpiece.
Each brushstroke placed
in perfect harmony.
Until suddenly his arm
grows extremely weary.
Unable to stop the inevitable
a mistake is made.
An ugly glaring mistake
stares him in the face,
mocking him silently.
Until he takes up his palette
and brushes it away.
Hidden from sight
behind another masking color.
And finally he can forget.
Like the painter
you have also made
a terrible mistake.
A horrible ugly mistake
destined to mock you forever.
For you, who were always
regarded with such beauty
could never create such a mistake.
And like the painter
you wish only
to cover it and forget.
And in your own way you succeed.
But it will forever be
a shallow victory.
For you may cover my face
but I will never disappear.
You will forever keep me
in the dark depths of your mind.
Try as you may Mother,
you will never be able
to simply forget
just how horrible
your masterpiece
turned out to be.
to be a masterpiece. It is just another attempt at decent poetry. It is
still free verse but I am trying other forms as well as rhyming but I'm not
very comfortable with them yet. Also you will see a poem from me about
once a month. This will enable me to analyze each poem more and hopefully
improve. I am continuing to study poetry techniques and vocabulary as well
as write occasional stories. But poetry will always be my priority. I
hope you see some improvement and as usual any and all constructive
criticism is greatly appreciated.
My thanks to everyone out there who is supporting me with my writing style
change. Also to my constructive critic who could think of nothing to
change when I showed him this poem. I'm sure there are a few things that
could be better but I'm still too inexperienced to spot them yet but I'm
trying.
On a lighter note: Happy 2004 to everyone.
Masterpiece
A painter sits diligently working
on yet another masterpiece.
Each brushstroke placed
in perfect harmony.
Until suddenly his arm
grows extremely weary.
Unable to stop the inevitable
a mistake is made.
An ugly glaring mistake
stares him in the face,
mocking him silently.
Until he takes up his palette
and brushes it away.
Hidden from sight
behind another masking color.
And finally he can forget.
Like the painter
you have also made
a terrible mistake.
A horrible ugly mistake
destined to mock you forever.
For you, who were always
regarded with such beauty
could never create such a mistake.
And like the painter
you wish only
to cover it and forget.
And in your own way you succeed.
But it will forever be
a shallow victory.
For you may cover my face
but I will never disappear.
You will forever keep me
in the dark depths of your mind.
Try as you may Mother,
you will never be able
to simply forget
just how horrible
your masterpiece
turned out to be.