A/N: Hello. Basically this will be a collection of drabbles about the Seireitei having the technology and entertainment the current Real World has. I know they probably have more advanced and difficult advancements but that doesn't mean that have ALL of it though, well, that's just my hypothesis.
No pairings, just the captains' life when the latest trends invade Soul Society.
Warnings: Obscene language, references and idiotic, yet real world stuff.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or anything significant, the songs, movies, videos etc. referenced here as well. Particularly here, I do not own the Jason Derulo songs.
Featuring: Jason Derulo
The real culprits and source of this unseen, unheard but now rampant invasion of the different, unusual, half-amusing, half-irritating trends from the living world that startled Seireitei and other nearby parts of Soul Society, were the Visored captain, Shinji Hirako, and the self-proclaimed "lowly" candy-store owner, Kisuke Urahara. "Fads" if you use the layman term. It started when the Captain Commander ordered the fifth division captain to present the different inventions and innovations the humans have done for Seiretei's use and perhaps (most likely) for Mayuri Kurosutchi's research and development.
It was quite a surprising request and being the captain who had been in the realm of the Living for a good amount of time more than any other officer, Shinji couldn't blame anyone for being chosen. Actually, it was kind of neat for him, as it was another excuse to go back there and visit his fellow Visored shinigami and pretty much procrastinate away from paperwork (though there was not much to do since his lieutenant was very much accustomed and trusted in doing it more than him). It didn't take him a long stay though, the appliances were ordered and paid (with the Gotei 13's money, somehow overpriced but Urahara claimed it was for his personal service fee) with the only thing left to do is wait for them to arrive in former captain's shop a week later for the meeting.
When he came and retrieved it, Kisuke had just turned the huge flat screen television off and waved at the captain, announcing everything was good to go. That earned him a few good seconds of staring from Shinji before he shrugged and told his division members to bring the stuff to Seiretei. It was quite a task; the warriors were not used to carrying fragile objects and he had to shout orders and reminders as they went on their way to their meeting hall at Division 1's place.
He first introduced the small devices such as headsets and earphones, tablets and smartphones. The latter gadgets caught the attention of some of the captains such as Toshiro, Shunsui, Jushiro, Kurosutchi and perhaps Byakuya in a pleasant way as they seemed to have leaned a little to look at it as the fifth division captain showed how they worked. It was not as advanced or complicated like Urahara's inventions, but the size, simplicity, design and versatility gained appreciation. The cameras and other applications boosted its support from the captains (and some silent complains from Zaraki who was sure to have headaches once Yachiru got a hold of one of these "smartphones"). The Captain Commander was surprised and attracted to the idea of just simply tapping the screen and going to other applications in the blink of an eye. It was going to be useful to an old man like him, though the senior captains thought otherwise. The elder was never good with technology and mostly (always) let his vice-captain handle everything related to it on his own. But it was still great to know he approved of these things along with the ever stoic and high-standard sixth division captain, who had muttered under his breath that the headsets could be incredibly useful for Renji, who had grown a great love for the living world's rock music and other loud, bass-filled music genres.
Next were the laptops and netbooks that gained another round of appreciation from almost every captain except the Captain Commander (who just mutters that his lower seats will be the only one who can understand its complicated functions) who marvelled at its size and convenience to be carried anywhere without any worry. Shunsui immediately asked Shinji to order one for Nanao while Komamura was nice enough to order as well for the vice-captains who had been abandoned by their own captains and took the entire load for the paperwork. Toshiro did not speak, but Shinji knew he was going to melt inside if he got one. It was very like him though, as it was useful for the captain whose lieutenant was the hot, yet lazy, Rangiku.
The portable storage devices along with the other useful gadgets that were used by the humans during exercising and other activities were presented and received good reviews as well. Toshiro marvelled at the pieces of technology that were the flash drive and hard drive that could store all of his files and Matsumoto's in just a simple, small and portable container.
Last but not the least, Shinji finally had the large LED flat screen brought in and installed the suspiciously small speakers with it and turned it on. It was just like the television they had used to communicate with the humans when Inoue was taken by Aizen, yet it received wonder and praise at its high and clear resolution and at how loud the black little speakers were when the device started up.
Though, when the blonde captain was asked to give a demonstration of how the images would look with the sound (at which he asked if he was meant to play a video, and the Captain Commander replied with yes, whatever that is), he stopped and inwardly cursed Urahara for the next one thousand years, with a really large and growling mental voice, when he realized what was inside the flash drive that was going to be used to play a sample video.
He hesitated, and almost shook his head and lied that the video was not going to work properly, but when the old man grumbled at how long it was taking him (that was about a minute and a half), he readied himself to be crucified.
Okay, the video wasn't that bad, but the captains, save for himself, Shunsui, Zaraki, and maybe the mad scientist, were too traditional and morally-inclined to appreciate the music video that was prepared by the oh-so-lowly candy store owner. So he when he clicked the video, he took a deep breath and threw all his fucks away. It was what the humans listened to these days, so it was not entirely his fault. He was tasked to show what the Living World had in the modern times, so why not?
Everyone was silent, glued to the screen, half-marvelling the resolution and probably half-confused as to what was happening. The song was definitely catchy though, especially when the trumpet part of the chorus came. Zaraki and Shunsui were both bobbing their heads to the beat, the eleventh-division captain just simply appreciating the video with mild amusement and the senior captain paying nice attention at the women that appeared on screen. Unohana did not look solaced at it along with Soi Fong who expressed visible distaste. Komamura, Toshiro and Jushiro were caught off-guard and seemed awkward for the duration of the video yet the last captain seemed to have grown to like it at the middle of the song and tapped his foot, subtly, to the beat and the sound of the trumpets. Byakuya was just as stoic as ever, but his eyes said he was rather annoyed by the whole thing.
After the three minutes of trumpets, dancers, almost-naked women, abs and a very lewd song bridge all wrapped in a very catchy tune, the room was again silent for a few seconds before Shunsui chuckled, his voice vibrating from his throat and echoed through the room.
"Well wasn't that song nice?"
A scoff was the reply from the second division captain, "Is that what the living listen to? Have the humans turn bawdy over a few decades?"
Shinji could only shrug at that. They've been perverted just as long as the shinigami here in Soul Society. Nothing much changed really, "Probably got a little more expressive." His tone was bored, and Soi Fong scowled at him but before she could retort, Zaraki grunted.
"The hell do you care 'bout what they listen to? It's pretty good and catchy t' me."
Shunsui nodded and grinned, "Very enjoyable to listen to, yes?"
On his right, Jushiro folded his arms and sighed knowingly at his best friend with a slight smile on his face. The awkwardness had died away from the sickly man and he was rather honest about his amusement over the whole thing, "I'm pretty sure the only thing that got you looking at it was the ladies."
The room was suddenly back to life with the small discussions and mutterings of the different captains. Unohana silently and subtly commented at how a little raunchy the music had grown with Soi Fong agreeing with her. Komamura responded quite defensively when Shunsui started teasing him of secretly liking the video while Zaraki and Kurotsuchi started arguing about the advancements of the living world and how Kurotsuchi's works looked far away from them. The thirteenth division captain patted the tenth on the back, asking if he was fine and if he enjoyed the video along with some comments about children shouldn't really watch those kinds of things and Toshiro grunting as a reply with his usual answer of not being a child anymore and he was not bothered at all by the video. It was only Byakuya, Unohana, Shinji and the Captain Commander who did not join the conversations at the end of five minutes, and the talks were thoroughly cut of when Genryuusai cleared his throat and tapped his wooden cane on the floor.
"May I remind you that we are here to look at and review at the different innovations and inventions of the humans for the betterment of Soul Society, and not discuss about how their taste in entertainment has changed." His voice silenced everyone, though he had lowered his voice on the next few words, like somehow embarrassed yet too honest of his feelings, "Even if that song and the..."
"Video." Shinji filled in automatically, his face still bored and somehow relieved at the idea that he was not going to be in trouble for the video for now. But that doesn't mean Urahara was off the hook.
The old man nodded and kept his eyes closed, "Yes, yes. That word. Vidayo, is quite… obscene. But I must say the song is quite nice, that singer… Jason Deruro or something, knows how to sing and the women were talented dancers." The last part was almost a whisper and he cleared his throat again before proceeding, "Now, you will file votes and recommendations as to which one do you think will benefit Soul Society. They should be submitted at the end of the week so that we can order more of those devices soon and learn to use them."
And with just that, he thanked the fifth division captain and dismissed everyone.
It did not take long before almost all of the gadgets Shinji presented were all over Seireitei. They were quite expensive, but for the captains whose salaries were higher than others and had the privilege to have some of the devices given to them for free, though only for official use only, it was nothing too expensive.
And just how fast technology developed in the Real World, the gadgets gained popularity like a wildfire in a dry forest and almost everyone had at least one device that was presented. Though, it was not the only one that caught the shinigami's appeal. Technology that was trending in the new world was definitely life-changing for them, but the entertainment such as songs and movies also got attention. Apparently, the song that Shinji played at the captains' meeting became popular and soon, it was heard among the countless of songs that were also famous and loved in the realm of the living all across Seireitei. It definitely had almost everyone's approval, even the captains who were awkward or were displeased with it at first learned to like it and would silently appreciate the song, no matter how raunchy or stupid it may be.
But Byakuya Kuchiki was not one of them.
He valued the convenience the gadgets provided, though it was also enough for him to curse and want to break a few for being too overly popular and not to mention loud. That also applied to the wretched song, which was then replaced by another one by the same artist, but just as annoying or maybe even more. He stayed away from the crowds that liked it and kept on playing or singing it, still, it didn't mean he was safe from the individuals who appreciated it as well.
At least he discovered one trait that he could not find in Renji before until the time when they both worked on their own papers in the same office, with the lieutenant using the wonders of this so-called iPod touch and earphones. Byakuya definitely approved of the small device that let the younger man listen to music without sharing it with the whole sixth division, but he was growing a little irked at the trait that it brought it out.
Renji sang, unknowingly so, the song he was listening to out loud. And that very song was the one Byakuya cursed and hoped its popularity died immediately like a hallow struck by his Senbozakura.
Hot damn it.
Your booty like two planets.
It was not like his lieutenant's voice was horrible. He was a nice tenor, to be honest. But his choice of music was incredibly questionable.
Go head, and go ham sandwich.
Whoa I can't stand i-
The singing was halted when Renji suddenly felt an angry flare of reiatsu coming from his captain and he immediately paused the song.
Byakuya would have been okay with the silence. But the eleventh division had to pass through at the moment where the horrible words were stopped and replaced the young man's acapella version of the song to the actual one that practically boomed in the street.
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THAT BIG FAT BUTT.
WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE.
The next thing the redhead knew, the door behind him had closed and he was left alone in the office without any word from captain. The eleventh division members were laughing and jeering out loud at each other. In the end, he decided it was best not to come close to the noble for now and continued the song, singing the lyrics out loud on his own once more.
Cadillac, Cadillac, pop that trunk.
Let's take a shot. Alley oop that dunk.