Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't... I also don't own the Narnian Calendar. It belongs to Elecktrum who was kind enough to let me borrow it for my story. Her own stories are awesome and you should go read them too.
Summary: Before there can be a Royal Wedding, there must be a Stag Party.
A/N: This oneshot is part of my A Light in the Darkness universe. Enjoy!
Stag Party
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15 Sunbend 1008
"Nervous, Pete?"
I grimaced, making my brother snicker. "This is all your fault." Truly it was. Edmund was the one who mentioned the tradition of Stag Parties (though I remember it also being called a groom's dinner, but that is beside the point) within hearing range of no less than five Bucks. All of them were most excited, especially once I recalled it was usually an occurrence absent any women, and before I knew it, nearly all of the Bucks, Bull Elks and Moose, and Harts in Cair Paravel had not only spread the word but with Edmund's help had conspired to drag me out to my own Stag Party.
Watching my little brother's amused expression was enough to make me…leery of what he might have planned for tonight's festivities. Gathered here on the largest meadow near Cair Paravel (without being too close to the walls where the women of Cair Paravel might stumble upon us), I forced myself to smile and nod whenever the men of Cair Paravel cheered my good health. I was a little surprised at how many of the married men decided to accompany us, but then again I had a feeling that my people still hadn't wearied of informing me of how to be a good husband…or maybe their wives threatened them if they didn't go and make sure we all returned in one piece. Wine and food flowed freely already.
One of the Harts came forward, I recognized him as Ayal, one of the palace guards. His antlers boasted a magnificent twenty points, newly scraped clean of velvet, and his low voice rumbled over the noise of nearby merrymakers. "We have brought all manner of food and drink. Tell us, Your Majesties, what happens next at this stag party?"
I exchanged a look with Edmund, scrambling to think of something. I couldn't remember. Then one of the young Bucks asked, "Perhaps you should lock antlers with any challengers who might contest your lady's hand?"
Several of the Bucks immediately began to nod as the other revelers listened. Then Ayal shook his head and turned toward his fellows, whispering as best he could, "He has no antlers. 'Twould put him at a great disadvantage and if you recall, we are not to attempt to lock antlers with those who are not so blessed as to have them."
I had to bite the inside of my cheek and elbow Edmund to keep us both from laughing at our dear cousins' heartfelt concern that they might injure our reputation if they pointed out our deficiency in regards to the possession of antlers. Then a Moose by the name of Bogart brightened and suggested in the most earnest of manners, "The High King can butt heads with the younger Human bulls."
Again, the Deer began to nod enthusiastically. I rubbed the top of my head. Philip snorted and shook his mane. "That would be utter nonsense. The High King has already won Thalia's hand and I doubt the Queens and the rest of the mares would be pleased if we brought him back with a concussion." He flicked his tail and nudged Edmund's shoulder. "Besides, the High King butts heads with Humans all the time, especially with King Edmund."
Edmund scowled at Philip, but every one of the Deer present, including Ayal, nodded in approval. I allowed myself a little grin while Edmund whispered his outrage to Philip. Then I caught sight of Oreius shaking his head with a knowing look in his dark eyes. Ahem, well, he had been witness to and, on occasion, put a stop to those moments when Edmund and I butted heads over something countless times.
Just then, Pierpont a rather husky Porcupine who served a court scribe waddled forward, a goblet clasped in his small dark paw. He blinked at the gathering, but I think he was reassured by the fact none of the carnivores were looking at him (they had all taken pains to look away as the poor chap is easily startled and…someone always ends up with unwanted quills sticking them when Pierpont is frightened). Then again, Pierpont was remarkably near-sighted, so perhaps he was simply trying to identify whomever he wished to address. His whistling lisp was even more pronounced tonight, confirming that he had been enjoying the wine. "Salutations and a hearty greeting to your magnificent and just majesties! I believe all who have gathered this fine night are most honored to celebrate with you! I-"
Pierpont cut himself off with a shrill shriek, his quills flaring, as one of the Dogs barked their approval and he automatically swung his tail in defense. Those closest to him scrambled to avoid the strike. Bogart was not as fortunate as the rest since several quills caught his back left leg. Pierpont fainted. We decided it was best to leave him there and shifted the focal point of our gathering closer to the food and drink while Jayr pulled the quills out of Bogart's leg.
One of the large Tabby Cats was perched on a nearby rock and he peered up at me with gimlet eyes. "Have you presented food to her yet?"
Before I could answer, another of the Cats looked up from cleaning his paw of some whipped cream. "Have you, King Peter? You should always bring food to your mate in order to show her that you can provide for her and any kittens you are blessed with, it will reassure her and her family greatly."
I glanced around and found every last one of the Cats, including the Big Cats, were listening closely to this conversation. Out of respect for them, I dared not mention the kitchens of Cair Paravel were usually near to bursting with provender. Clearing my throat, I offered, "Well, I have taught her how to fish."
The Cats seemed pleased then a Swan, who had been resting next to where I was sitting, stretched out his long, graceful neck and turned his head to look me in the eye. "Has the nest been prepared? Pens are quite picky about having the nest just right for the eggs."
One of the Bowerbirds, Brodie, bobbed in place on the nearby bush, startling blue eyes shining in the torchlight. "Make sure you use her favorite color and make it shiny…blue is a favorite. And arrange the trinkets to create an optical illusion."
The cacophony of Birds' calls ceased when Oreius stepped up, raising one arm high above his head. "Enough! Friends, that is enough." As the crowd hushed, the Centaur lowered his arm. "Though your advice is well-meant, it is also past time for such suggestions. The High King has courted his lady and proven his worth to her sire by completing the challenges set by Vidar. It is no longer the time for advice concerning courtship and how to win her heart. Now, it is time to advise him on marriage and to celebrate that High King Peter will embark on this new stage in life tomorrow eve."
I couldn't help but notice the approving looks of the Centaurs and several of the Drus (the rarer male Dryads) at Oreius' statement. Unfortunately, Edmund decided now was the time to bring up the more embarrassing moments of my courting Thalia. He smirked at me. "Just don't try to give Thalia a Harpy on stilts again."
It would be perfectly acceptable to throttle him. I'm certain Stormseer would be more than willing to perform the marriage ceremony in addition to the traditional blessing. Susan might be mad, though. However, she'll want the wedding to come off smoothly more than doing anything to me. That should keep me safe.
The chorus of questions and general laughter filled the air as I shoved Edmund. "It was not a Harpy on stilts. And that was some time ago."
Edmund smirked as he held up one finger. "Ah, but your artistically challenged magnificence, you did this only last Yule. And, if I hadn't been so generous as to step in, Thalia would have received Harpy-stilts or a carving of a Harpy on stilts for Yule."
Dragging my hands over my face, I once again contemplated strangling the little beast. But, then, I came up with something far better. Laughing with the rest, I waited for them to quiet slightly then I grinned at Edmund. "What about your fascination with redheads, Ed?"
My brother stared at blankly while Tarrin hastily turned his snicker into a cough. "What?"
"Well, you've only kissed redheaded lasses, so you seem to have a fondness for them."
Peridan was frowning then he spoke quietly to Tarrin, I could only guess it was concerning his redheaded daughter, Raisa. A guess confirmed when Tarrin held up two fingers then muttered something about Yule. I crossed my arms, grinning in satisfaction, as Edmund sputtered in outrage. "I- Peter!" He pointed at me. "The only two times that actually count were mistletoe kisses and that's just because we were trapped underneath that holiday peril." Half the bachelors present roared their approval of my brother's description of mistletoe. Philip snorted then nudged Edmund's shoulder but Ed just brushed him off. "You're the one who kissed a Hag."
"What? I have never kissed or been kissed by a Hag. I am quite certain that I would remember anything that repulsive."
"How? You're always in the healers' wing for concussions."
"No, that's you."
"That's it, Pevensie. You're going to eat those words, I promise you that." Edmund tackled me, knocking the air out of my lungs, as we landed on the ground, wrestling.
"Ha!" Those nearest scrambled out of the way whenever we rolled too close to their feet. I grunted then rolled, pinning Edmund to the ground, one hand pressed between his shoulders (though I was careful not to put my full weight on him to keep from agitating his nearly-healed injuries received fighting bandits seven weeks ago). "Seems you've forgotten that your older brother always wins."
"Gerroff, you great lummox!" Edmund hooked his foot behind my ankle and pulled as he shoved backward. I yelped as we toppled back to the ground, this time with Edmund on top. A startled shriek sounded and then a Tiger roared in pain.
Shoving Edmund off, I scrambled back to my feet. Pierpont had fainted again, but this time his victim was… "Babur! Are you all right?"
My Tiger raised his paw that was completely covered in dozens of quills but he grinned at me. "I will be fine, Your Majesty." Then he lowered his head and whispered, "Don't tell Bast."
Laughter rang out through the clearing as everyone who had encountered the fiercer of the Tiger twins knew what she would likely say about her brother's misfortune. Turning back to Edmund, I helped him to his feet then pulled him into a tight hug before ruffling his hair. He shoved me away. "Save the sentimental sap for tomorrow, Peter, you know when the girls can appreciate it. And I would have had you if not for," he glanced at Pierpont, who was beginning to stir, and lowered his voice further, "outside interference."
I snorted. "Keep telling yourself that, Ed." As the crowd surrounded us with toasts and light-hearted advice, I finally took the opportunity to slip away. Walking through the moonlit woods, I breathed in deeply. I was marrying Thalia tomorrow. Was I completely ready?
"You are ready."
My hand went to my dagger as I whirled around then I stopped, meeting Oreius' dark gaze. I honestly hadn't thought Oreius would present at this impromptu stag party since, by this morn, he and the rest of the patrol had yet to return from their six-week-long inspection. But, Oreius and the others had returned just before our departure and, pausing only to remove his armor, Oreius had joined us. I wasn't even certain if he had seen Kat since she had been closeted away with the girls all day.
The Centaur approached closer, studying my face for something. His heavy hand clasped my shoulder as he repeated, "You are ready, Peter. Someone would have advised a longer courtship if you were not, this I assure you."
I bowed my head. "I am grateful to hear you say so, Oreius."
"But, do not think it will be easy. Marriage was created by Aslan to be permanent unless some wrong is committed that is so grievous there is no choice but to dissolve the marriage. It is for this reason you are the one who determines whether your marriage will be one of joy or one of tension. You and Thalia will argue and you will often wonder why she does things that make little to no sense to you or why some things please her but others do not when the reason is not readily available." He paused and I couldn't help but think of his and Kat's rather…unusual and occasionally bizarre relationship, though they certainly seemed happy together. Truly, a case of opposites attract. I was more than a little grateful that my Thalia was calmer than Kat in general. Oreius glanced at me then and I could have sworn his mouth twitched with a hint of a smile. "But, she is worth it. Your love for each other should only grow stronger over time and through different challenges as iron sharpens iron."
Oreius looked up at the stars then squeezed my shoulder. "You will do well, Peter. You earned her love and her respect as well as that of her family. However, because you are the High King, your duties to Narnia at times will conflict with your desire to be with your beloved. Maintaining the balance between your duties and your vows to Thalia will be difficult. Moreover, you will not always be able to spend as much time with her as you desire. However, you can keep this from driving a wedge between the two of you by doing what you can to let her know that you love her and allow her to help you avoid overworking yourself. Listen to her, Peter, and she will be more inclined to listen to you. And, always remember that a marriage is not about one of you having power over the other. You are equals and must work together to create the best marriage possible. Your strengths will balance out her weaknesses and her strengths will balance out your weaknesses."
I wrapped my hand around his wrist and bowed my head. "Thank you for everything you have done and continue to do for me and my family, Oreius."
His grip tightened for a moment then he let go. "Your sire would be more than proud of you, Peter, and of all your choices, including your bride."
Nodding, I hoped he was right. I wished I could have introduced Thalia to my parents, but it was not to be and Aslan had provided Oreius. Knowing he approved and that he thought Dad would approve was a great comfort. Hearing a rousing (if slightly slurred) chorus of one of the army's favorite war songs, I nodded to the flickering lights of the torches peeking through the trees. "We better head back before Edmund gets talked into a drinking game with the Dwarfs."
Oreius chuckled. As soon as we returned to the gathering, Edmund sidled up to me. "Help."
"What?"
"Help." He darted a nervous glance at where the Elks were beginning a song and even Philip had joined the other Horses in a monotone chant that was meant to buffer the Elks' bugling. Oh no. Edmund's Wolves were pressing against either side of his legs, ears flat against their skulls. My brother gave me a pained look. "They want me to sing too."
I shrugged. We were both going to be dragged into singing, anyway. And there just wasn't a way to refuse without hurting their feelings terribly. "Sorry, Ed, I-"
A Coyote's howl erupted and then a high-pitched shriek sounded just in front of Edmund. I instinctively jumped to the side, bumping into Mr. Tumnus. The Faun steadied me but then the joint cries of the Wolves and Edmund's hiss filled the air. Pierpont fainted, a goblet rolling free of his paw. Oh no. "Ed!"
Edmund ignored me. "Remus! Hold still, don't rub them. Peter, grab Romulus."
I gingerly put my arms around the Wolf's shoulders, trying to avoid agitating the quills sticking in his front left leg and lower left shoulder. "Hold still, Romulus."
Mr. Tumnus fidgeted with his bright red scarf. "I'll let Jayr and Linus know that Pierpont has more victims."
"Thank you, Mr. Tumnus."
Romulus whined but held still. I wondered if he might have been slightly influenced by the fact Vardan Windwolf and his sons (several of whom were older and experienced soldiers) were present. Remus, on the other hand, had no such concerns. I looked over at him and winced in sympathy. The poor chap had apparently been the closest to Pierpont as he had scores of quills covering his front legs, his chest, and his throat. Edmund was down on one knee, holding the panicked Wolf still. "Easy, Remus. Easy. We're going to get them out."
Pierpont was roused and then his cousin, Poirot, escorted the dangerously swaying Porcupine back to the Cair. Jayr went to work on Remus while Linus tended to Romulus and then to Edmund, who had fifteen quills across his legs, before joining the Kangaroo in removing all of the quills from Remus. Babur gave the Wolves a sympathetic look as he limped over to my side.
Once everyone was free of quills, I clapped Edmund on the shoulder. "At least, you'll be able to sit down this time."
He glared at me. "Very funny. At this rate, we'll limp home around noon and then…" He trailed off, smirking.
I chuckled as I picked up on his train of thought. "Susan will be too busy with last minute preparations to have time to fuss."
Edmund grinned as he accepted a goblet from Silverstone and I accepted one from Alaois. Then Edmund stiffly climbed up on the boulder and raised his drink. "Gentlemen, a toast! To the High King's wedding on the morrow!"
The cheers filled the night and I raised my goblet. Tomorrow was the wedding. I smiled as I sipped the chilled wine. Tomorrow I finally married Thalia, my sweet Flower.
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A/N: Please Read and Review!
