Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Italics are songs/singing.
I'm currently obsessed with Wicked and in the mood to write, so ta-da. It's only a One-shot. Enjoy!
"Curtain in 10!" a stage assistant yelled out.
It's just like any other day on the job, costumes, make up, and then voice warm ups. We are currently in the middle of our nation wide tour and I'm finally doing what I love. After I found out I got the part of Elphaba, I thought my life was at its peak. Career wise, it was but I knew there was still something I wanted very badly. And that something was Spencer Carlin. Yes, I'm talking about thee Spencer Carlin. She is in the Broadway hall of fame, attended the most prestigious and competitive performing arts schools, and is my co-star playing Glinda. It is such an honor for me to be performing on the same stage as her and to call her one of my best friends. Even though I still have dreams of calling her my girlfriend one day.
"Hey Ash, are you okay? You're looking a little green," Aiden smirked as the whole cast gathered for our pre-performance ritual. Aiden is my best friend and plays Fiyero. He has been through it all with me since the very beginning and the only one who knows about my fat crush on Spencer Carlin and let alone likes girls.
"Better hope I don't puke on you when we kiss," I joked as we joined hands for a prayer. I'm not religious at all but Spencer is so I don't mind. After the prayer, Spencer left right away so the crew could help her get on her bubble along with a few of the other cast members.
"So what happened last night?" Aiden asked since we both had time before we go on stage. I guess I forgot to mention that it may have slipped that I like girls last night when I was with Spencer. Spencer is my best friend, but from a fear of rejection, I never told her my 'big secret.' I always tried to steer the conversation a different direction when the subject of relationships came up. It always worked until last night.
"She called me up last night since she said she didn't want to be alone because something was bothering her," I said with pressed lips. "So I went over to her room with her favorite-"
"Green tea with honey," Aiden and I said in unison. It's pretty much all Spencer drinks other than water.
"Anyways, I went over and we just talked, but she wouldn't tell me what was bothering her," I sighed. I heard the orchestra music begin and looked up on the other side of the stage to see Spencer fixing her dress. Aiden must have caught me staring since he began to snap his fingers in front of my face. "Oh sorry," I said softly since the show began. "We were just talking and then all of a sudden she starts asking about my love life, which is pretty much non-existent."
"That's because you are so in love with her," he softly punched my shoulder. "She is pretty much perfect though. I would definitely pull some of my moves on her if you weren't so into her," he shrugged. "I'm such a good friend."
"Loser," I shook my head and laughed. Spencer began singing her part of No One Mourns the Wicked and I was just lost because her voice is absolutely beautiful, like herself. "She kept asking me if I was seeing anyone and asked if I had a thing with you," I couldn't believe she actually thought I was with Aiden.
"You wish I was into you."
"Ew, that's gross. I denied that disturbingly gross accusation and told her I'm more into blondes with blue eyes," I said just above a whisper. I definitely regretted telling her that, but at the same time I didn't.
"Ashley, you're on in a few," a stage man interrupted Aiden and I's conversation. I nodded and Aiden followed me to the curtain that I entered.
"Hurry up and tell me what happened before you go on," Aiden urged.
"Okay okay, so basically she stared at me for a while, said she was into brunettes, and started naming a bunch of blonde, blue eyed male celebrities and asked if I thought they were attractive. After she said Owen Wilson, I kinda just blurted out that I like girls not guys…" I said as quickly as possible.
"Wow," Aiden sighed. "Then what?"
"Then it was quiet for a good ten minutes and I figured I should just leave, so I did. The end. I haven't really talked to her since so hopefully things will go smoothly during our show tonight." Aiden brought me into his broad chest and gave me his famous bear hugs.
"I'm sorry, Ash" he whispered and kissed my forehead. "Break a leg," he said as we pulled away and I headed onto stage on cue.
I was alone on the stage as the lights dimmed. I won't lie but this is probably one of my favorite songs to sing, only because I feel like I can relate to it in a way. Not really actually, I just think the song is so heart breaking and beautiful.
Hands touch, eyes meet,
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy world.
He could be that boy,
But I'm not that girl
Don't dream too far, don't lose sight of who you are,
Don't remember that rush of joy.
He could be that boy,
I'm not that girl
I closed my eyes as I held the note a little longer than usual. My imagination drew an image of Spencer on stage with me wearing a baby blue dress. She stood there smiling at me and held her hand out for me. I reached out towards her and she faded away.
Every so often we long to steal,
To the land of what might have been,
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in
Blythe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome,
She wins him,
Gold hair with a gentle curl,
That's the girl he chose
And heaven knows,
I'm not that girl
Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart,
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl,
There's a girl I know,
He loves her so,
I'm not that girl.
I hated how my emotions were messing with my head and interfering with my performance, but I couldn't help myself. Ever since last night, there hasn't been a moment I wasn't thinking about her. I could have possibly ruined our friendship because of what I said and losing her is terrifying.
GLINDA: Elphaba - why couldn't you have stayed calm for once, instead of flying off the handle! I hope you're happy!
I hope you're happy now (Elphaba)
I hope you're happy how you
Hurt your cause forever
I hope you think you're clever!
I hope you're happy (Both)
I hope you're happy, too
I hope you're proud how you
Would grovel in submission
To feed your own ambition
So though I can't imagine how
I hope you're happy right now
GLINDA: Elphie, listen to me. Just say you're sorry:
You can still be with the Wizard
What you've worked and waited for
You can have all you ever wanted:
ELPHABA: I know
But I don't want it -
No - I can't want it
Anymore:
Something has changed within me It's time to try
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!
(Glinda)
Can't I make you understand?
You're having delusions of grandeur:
(Elphaba)
I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down:
Glinda: Come with me. Think of what we could do together.
Unlimited
Together we're unlimited
Together we'll be the greatest team
There's ever been
Dreams, the way we planned 'em
Yes, together we would be unlimited. I looked towards Spencer and sometimes I just wish she could sing these songs to me, as Ashley. A relationship with her would definitely be 'defying gravity' but that is if I even had the chance.
(Glinda)
If we work in tandem (Both)
There's no fight we cannot win
Just you and I
Defying gravity
With you and I
Defying gravity
They'll never bring us down!
ELPHABA: Well? Are you coming?
GLINDA: I hope you're happy
Now that you're choosing this
ELPHABA: You too
I hope it brings you bliss (Both)
I really hope you get it
And you don't live to regret it
I hope you're happy in the end
I hope you're happy, my friend:
(Elphaba)
So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!
The curtain fell and the crew helped me down from my harness. It was the 15-minute intermission and I quickly headed to my dressing room to change into my next costume. There was something different about Spencer tonight when we sang together. I couldn't put my finger on it but I could definitely tell there was something else on her mind. I mean we have performed over fifty shows together already so I noticed these little things.
6 minutes into the intermission there was a knock on my dressing room door. "Come in," I shouted as I wiggled my way into my dress. Aiden came in and helped me zip up.
"So I ran into Spencer and she asked about you," I whipped my head around to face him with my mouth open. Why would she ask about me? Oh god what if she hates me since I'm gay.
"What did she ask?!" I grabbed his arms and had a bit of a death grip on him.
"Geez, hands of a vice," I loosened my grip. "It looked like something was bothering her. You should talk to her though," he suggested. I looked at the clock and there was 6 minutes left before the curtain went up.
"Thanks Aiden, see you later," I rushed out of my dressing room. I don't know why but I wanted—no needed to talk to Spencer before this show is over. Of course I could have waited until the show was over, but I'm an impatient person. I ran to the stage to see she standing in the wing talking to a stage assistant. I quickly walked over to her and interrupted her conversation.
"Ashley," she seemed a little shocked. I don't even know why I went up to her because I don't even know what to say right now. My breath quickened as her blue eyes pierced mine. I could feel my palms beginning to sweat, which is probably not good for the green makeup I have on.
"About last night…" I started and I watched as her eyes got slightly bigger and her expression changed. Maybe that wasn't the best way to start it. "I know it is surprising and I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but I was scared." I tend to talk really quickly when I'm nervous and not let the other person talk. "I wasn't sure how you would react because I thought you would assume I liked you and I heard of stories where that affected a friendship and I didn't want that to happen." My eyes went wide and my mouth hung open when I realized what I just said.
"…Yo-you don't like me?" Spencer looked down at her shuffling feet and she seemed a bit upset about something.
My hand went up to cover my mouth and I took a step closer to her and she shifted away. "No, no Spence," I blurted out. "That's the problem, I…I do like you," My voice decrecendoed. It was my turn to look down as I fiddled with my fingers. "I've always liked you, Spence. You're beautiful and I'd climb mountains if it meant I had a chance with you. I just didn't want to ruin our friendship. I'd rather have you as a friend than not at all," I confessed looking to her eyes.
I could tell she was about to say something, but no words came out. "Spencer, curtain in 15 seconds!" a stage assistant said as he pulled her to the stage and led her to the platform. I watched as she walked up and she looked at me as the curtain began to rise and orchestra started. Her first words of the second act seemed a bit shaky. She looked back towards me again and I gave her a soft smile. In a few seconds, she seemed composed but I could tell she was still processing what I had told her a few minutes ago.
"I really should have waited until after the show," I said softly to myself as I walked over to where I needed to be
(Elphaba and Fiyero on stage singing to each other)
(Elphaba)
Kiss Me too fiercely,
Hold me too tight,
I need help believing
You're with me tonight
My wildest dreamings could not foresee
Lying beside you with
You wanting me,and
Just for this moment
As long as you're mine
I've lost all resistance
And crossed some borderline
And if it turns out, it's over too fast
I'll make every last moment last,
As long as you're mine.
Fiyero, well Aiden, stood right in front of me and I looked pass him and saw Spencer standing in the wing. Of all the shows, I've never seen her there before. Her hands were together by her heart and her eyes were locked on me.
(Fiyero)
Maybe I'm brainless
Maybe I'm wise
But you've got me seeing
Through different eyes
Somehow I've fallen
Under your spell,
And somehow I'm feeling It's up that I fell
I knew I had to kiss Aiden soon and how I wished it was Spencer instead. (Both)
Every moment, as long as you're mine, And though, I may know, I don't care
I'll wake up my body and
Make up for lost time
Say there's no future for us as a pair...
Just for this moment, as long as you're mine
I'll be how you want to and see how bright we shine
Borrow the moonlight until it is through,
And know I'll be here holding you
As Long As You're Mine
FIYERO: What is it?
ELPHABA It's just for the first time I feel…wicked.
As Aiden and I kissed, I opened my eyes to see that Spencer was no longer standing where she was.
(Elphaba) (Glinda)
I'm limited
Just look at me - I'm limited
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
For both of us - now it's up to you...
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...
I watched as Spencer sang to me and we've held eye contact for the entire song so far. I went on a whim and held her hand as she sang. I could tell she was a little taken back from the gesture but it didn't affect her singing. Like a comet pulled from orbit (Elphaba)
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
It well may be Like a ship blown from it's mooring (Glinda): (Both): (Elphaba): (Glinda): (Both): (Glinda): (Elphaba): (Both): (Glinda): (Elphaba): (Both):
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Like a ship blown from it's mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood
Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better
And because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...
As scripted, we went in for a hug but this time the hug seemed a little longer than usual. My grip around her was tight but it was comfortable. It felt perfect. We finally pulled apart and locked eyes for a few more seconds. I watched as she took a small step closer to me and my mind was racing. She licked her perfectly, pink lips and I'm 99.9% sure I knew what she was about to do.
My heart started beating quickly as she leaned into me and it all seemed like it was in slow motion. When her lips were mere centimeters from mine, I quickly turned my cheek. I panicked and couldn't let her kiss me during a performance.
She quickly pulled away and saw her cheeks turn red. She was clearly surprised by my gesture but then gave me a small smile and head nod, which meant I did the right thing.
"So what was that I saw?" Fiyero (Aiden) asked with a smirk as we walked with our back towards the audience hand-in-hand off the stage. We stood in the wings as we watched the remaining minutes of the show before the curtain fell.
"What are you talking about," I tried to act confused as I hide a smile.
"If my eyes aren't mistaken, Spencer was going to kiss you after For Good," he looked at me with his eyebrows up high. "She soooooo wants you," he sang. The curtain fell and the audience was roaring with applause. Spencer walked over towards me and the curtain went up again for the bows. She looked at me with a smile and I did the same. I intertwined my hand with hers and we watched as the cast ran out on the stage.
"Ashley," she said as she squeezed my hand tightly.
"Spencer," I replied.
"There's something I need to tell you," she looked towards the stage and saw it was almost our turn to go on stage.
"What is it?"
She stood with a smile and didn't say anything until it was our turn for bows. We ran onto stage, her leading the way to the front of the stage. We bowed and I saw her turn towards me. The next thing I know, I was facing her as she smiled and bit her bottom lip.
"I've wanted to do this for a long time," she said as her lips fused with mines and her arms wrapped around my body. The audience went silent and filled with gasps, but I didn't care. Suddenly, the audience roared and there were a few wolf calls. We finally pulled apart and I gave her my famous nose-crinkling smile.
"You're so beautiful," I said as I tucked a blonde curl behind her ear.
"I've wanted you since the very beginning as well, Ashley Davies," she whispered in my ear as the curtain fell once more.