Alternate universe: sort of. Leon and Ashley have only just found out they had the parasites in them when they get a helpful tip from someone that the machine that would remove their parasites is nearby…so In other words, they haven't yet met Krauser, Ada, or fought off Saddler a whole lot yet…this chapter is short because I'm just playing with the idea. dont expect them all to be this bad!

Things Can Always Get Much Worse

Chapter 1: Things Get Strange

Man. Things can't get any worse than this, can they? Leon thought to himself miserably as he and Ashley ran down the hall from a pack of Zealots. He'd found the President's daughter and had found out that she and him both had Las Plagas parasites sitting inside them. Leon felt sick at the very thought of some slimy disgusting worm…thing crawling inside him…but he'd learned recently that there was a machine in a room directly ahead of the that would remove the parasites…he remembered the strange note easily.

Leon…there is a machine in a certain room in the castle that should destroy the parasites…get to it quickly…

Leon still had no idea who the note was from. But he was sure glad for it; he was glad he'd found Ashley so quickly; he'd only been in the village for maybe two hours when he'd found Ashley inside the church. Some crazy man in control of the whole village named 'Saddler' was there too, and had quickly informed them that they were carrying the damned parasites with them…

"This hunk of junk?" Ashley asked Leon nervously as they entered a new room. There was a large machine beside and operating table; according to Leon, this machine would remove the parasites of Las Plagas from their bodies. But Ashley had a bad feeling about this; something in her instincts told her this was dangerous…

"Yeah. You operate." Leon told her in his usual commanding alto. He laid himself down on the operating table, waiting for Ashley to begin.

"Leon, I don't know…" Ashley said carefully, looking at him with fear written on her face. Leon looked at Ashley, trying to make his face look reassuring.

"Don't worry, Ashley. Besides, we never know until we try right?" Leon said with a warm smile. Ashley smiled weakly back, nodding shakily.

"All right…here goes nothing." Ashley sighed. She pressed a button on the control panel, and metal locks slammed into place around Leon's wrists. Giving a small weak chuckle, Leon lay back against the metal, preparing himself for the procedure.

Aww, man. This is gonna hurt like hell. He cringed mentally at the thought. But he knew it must be done.

There was a noise that filled the air that sounded like static electricity, and two long arms began zapping electric bolts directly into Leon's body. He squirmed, yelping in agony but trying to hold back his pain filled cries in order to not scare Ashley. But unfortunately for Leon, his plan didn't work too well…

"Leon!" Ashley cried out. She took a few steps closer to Leon, wrestling with herself on what to do. Whatever it is, do it fast before he dies! She screamed at herself mentally. She was beginning to panic. "Leon!!" She ran up beside him, examining the machine quickly with her eyes. It didn't seem 'too' too sturdy…

"A-Ashley!!" Leon managed to piece the syllables together through his pain. His eyes were basically blind; the pain was distorting his vision so much that Ashley looked like an orange blob… "Don't…get.. t-too c-close!!" He screamed, bu Ashley didn't listen…she was too worried about him.

"Oh, Leon!" Ashley grabbed a hold of one of the mechanical arms, planning to wrench it out until it broke. Unfortunately for her, she realized only too late the major flaw in her plan: Ashley is not electricity proof. As soon as Ashley's hand made contact with the arm, the electric bolts zapped through her too. She screamed in pain, the loud, high pitched noise echoing around the room. The screen where their bodies were X-Rayed was showing the parasites being dissolved in their stomachs, but the jointed electricity was doing something to their brain activity…

Finally, Leon managed to raise his leg and kick the arm. The electric bolts recoiled, and the machine proceeded to explode and send the two bodies to go flying, both hitting walls and falling unconscious. The X-Ray screen was zoomed in on their brains, saying a "Critical Warning" sign…

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Leon woke up with his head killing him. All he remembered was the machine blowing up…Ashley. Where was Ashley? Leon stood up, rubbing his head in an attempt to dull the pain. Huh, that's funny. Leon thought to himself as something fell out of his hair. I don't remember my hair being this long… Leon looked down at the ground to see a headband he knew belonged to Ashley a couple feet away.

"Ashley?" Leon called out. He coughed for a second; his voice sounded awfully high pitched…had the machine wrecked his voice box or something?

Leon scanned the room with his eyes for Ashley, and saw some movement underneath a piece of metal where the machine had gone flying. Running over, Leon began prying at the metal to get it off her. "Ashley!" He finally managed to get through the metal and found the body underneath. He gasped, nearly jumping and flying backwards; Leon was looking into his own face.

"What the hell!" Leon cursed loudly. He shivered as he felt a chill run by him. Wondering why he was suddenly cold, he looked down to realize he wasn't wearing his jeans and black combat shirt anymore; he was wearing a green miniskirt and an orange sweater. "OH MY GOD!"

Ashley's eyes slowly opened. Oh, man, her head was pounding…where was Leon? She looked up, hearing the voice of someone yelling…Funny, she thought to herself. Almost sounds like my voice.

She looked up to see herself yelling wildly. Ashley's eyes widened, and she pressed herself against the wall. "Oh my God! Get away, you clone…freak!" She squeaked.

Leon looked down at his own face, huddling in fear against the wall.

"Ashley? Is that you?" He asked, crouching closer to his own body.

"Don't hurt me! Leon, Leon!" Ashley cried out for help. Leon put his hand over her mouth.

"No, Ashley! It's me, Leon!" Leon told her in his now high squeaky Ashley voice. Ashley looked at him, amazed.

"What? Leon? You…you're me!" Ashley managed to squeak, but her Leon voice didn't allow her to make her squeaky whiney voice.

"I take it you haven't looked in the mirror yet?" Leon asked her, almost a sarcastic grin on his face. Ashley stood up, noticing how tall she felt now. She walked over to one of the machines, although stained my black soot from the explosion, that was still reflecting images. She looked in and saw…Leon's face looking back at her. She let out a yelp and sent herself sailing backwards into a machine.

"Hey, hey! Take it easy!" Leon pleaded, rushing over and helping his own body back up. "You've got my gymnast body, remember? You've got to be careful, or you could seriously hurt yourself."

"Gymnast body?" Ashley repeated, looking down at her vody. Then, bracing herself, she sent herself in back flips across the room, giggling the entire time. "Oh God, Leon, you're amazing!"

"Ashley-!" Leon grumbled, trying to get her attention. "We need to fix this!" He urged, but Ashley continued doing flips and spins and cartwheels around the room, laughing like a hyena the entire time.

Great, Leon thought to himself. Just when I thought thing's couldn't get weirder.

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Well chapter 1 is finished! So…tell me…like it? Didn't like it? Any criticism is helpful…thanks for reading and please review!

PS- I completely understand that this is scientifically illogical and impossible. But do we write fanfiction for it to make sense? NO! So get off my back before you even get on it! Thank you.

Up Next: The Confused Batch In The Red Dress