Yet again, I shall state that this work of fiction was intended simply for the enjoyment of my audience. Amuse yourselves, and please review.
Disclaimer: I am not Christopher Paolini.
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Roran strutted before the mirror. "So…? What do you think?"
"Erm….Well, it is an improvement from last time."
"But?"
"But…I think that you could do better."
"Better? How! We've been here for the past three hours, Eragon! Three! I seriously doubt that the seamstress would be very happy if we passed the night here!"
"I know! But, you can do better."
"How?"
"Well…Roran. It's pink."
"So?"
"It's pink!"
"What's wrong with pink?"
"Hmmm…I wonder? Seeing as you're getting married, tomorrow, you want to look good, and I hardly think that Katrina would want to walk down the aisle to a man wearing a pink tunic."
"She likes pink!"
"Yes, but not on you!"
"And how would you know?"
"She's a woman. Women love pink, but they hate it upon men. Do you want her to think that you're a pansy?"
"No…"
"Exactly. So, change it. Now. Please. Even I can't bear to see you wearing it."
"Fine."
"There; that wasn't so bad, now, was it?. I recommend a nice green, or perhaps a blue; something to suit your hair, seeing as it's so feathery and golden. Ooh, I know! Red."
Roran stared at Eragon.
"Oh, and your leggings should be black; I remember when I was with the Elves, there was this one…Vanir, that's it! Vanir would always wear these amazing tight black leggings – it drove the females crazy."
Roran broke into a sweat.
"He and I used to trade clothes, and sometimes, I'd brush his hair for him – I broke his arm, you know; it was the least that I could do. It was a bit strange having to live with him for my last few weeks in Ellesmera, but he turned out to be an excellent companion. Very welcoming."
"..."
Eragon sniffed the air. "Have you bathed, lately? You smell like the town piggery!"
"He he…"
"Come on, we'll get you cleaned up. Tomorrow may be the big day, but there's no need to reek like an animal until then. I have some wonderful floral oils…I could scrub your back."
Roran fainted.
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There. Finally.