Here it is, folks! At long, long last, I am finally posting the third installment of Damon's adventures through the crazy world of One Piece. We've come one heck of a long way from the start of the series, and it's only gonna get longer! I am super excited to be starting this completely original arc, and I'm sure you guys are pumped to see what I can come up with, too. So, without further ado, let's jump right into the one arc to rule them all! ...So far.

Chapter 1... BEGIN!

A Well-Deserved Vacation!

The Quiet Date on the Island of Good Fortune

Some might say that being a pirate could never mean good things. I've been one long enough, now, to be able to say that, for the most part, they may be right about that statement. I've been ripped away from my home, forced to fight poisonous Hellhounds, killed someone who turned out to be my half-brother, took an unplanned swim in a giant whale's stomach acid, swapped genders (although I managed to return to my original male body, thank the gods), and so much more that if I listed it all, it would probably fill up this entire chapter.

But I can also say, for sure, that I have had some of the best moments of my life among the crew of the Going Merry.

I would never sell them out, not on my life. I've been through so much with the Straw Hats, they've become my family, and, in the female captain's case, a little more than that. I would die before letting them get killed, but as I much preferred living to the opposite, every day, I trained both my body and my mind to be at the best of their abilities.

Which was why, instead of relaxing on my vacation like I very much deserved, I was currently sparring with my fellow demigod, Ryan Spencer.

We each had our kami no kosoru - - swords forged to strike down immortals beings - - out and ready for combat, gripped in our hands firmly. We paced in a circle upon sand so white, it almost appeared to be snow. Fifteen feet away from us, the ocean crashed against the beach relentlessly, the waterline crawling up the pristine grains and then receding. I could feel the waves calling to me, to my very bones; for I was a demigod son of the demon of the sea, Aeso, and water gave me strength.

"Flaming Anvil!" Ryan shouted suddenly, and I found myself rolling to the side to avoid an unexpected fireball from his blade. Ryan was also a son of a demon, although his father ruled over the forge, and thus, Ryan and all his demigod half-siblings could control fire. They also happened to be rather skilled mechanics.

The fireball I dodged exploded in the ocean behind me, sending a small school of minnows into a frenzy. I frowned at Ryan as I got to my feet, brushing off minuscule grains of white sand. "Watch where you aim those things!" I grumbled. "I nearly got fried!"

Ryan shrugged, his light eyes uncaring. "You dodged it, didn't you? No harm, no foul."

"Why, you little - -"

"Oi, oi," said the tired voice of our ship's swordsman, Roronoa Zoro. He lay on a beach towel several yards away from us, rolled over on his side. "I can't sleep with you two making so much noise. Give it a rest or I'll train you."

Ryan and I exchanged frightened glances. I'd been through enough of Zoro's 'training' to know that, once it was finished, every single muscle in your body hurt like hell. That man was a complete beast. He couldn't seem to understand, either, that despite the fact that he could lift about four hundred pounds without breaking a sweat, normal people would break under the same weight.

"Yes sir," we intoned in unison.

Sitting in a beach chair to Zoro's left, Nami, our spirited navigator, sighed and rolled her eyes. "Geez, if those two are finally gonna just relax and enjoy our vacation, maybe all the islanders won't act so strangely around us."

"Indeed, they seem to be quite afraid of us," Nico Robin, the Straw Hat crew's newest recruit, chuckled. Thirty years old and by leagues the wisest person on our crew, she'd spent most of her life running from the World Government. She cast her eyes about the beach. "Although that is strange, since most of the population appears to have been pirates at least once in their life."

We Straw Hats were not the only ones on this public beach. In fact, it was quite rowdy - - except for the stretch of sand immediately around our crew. The islanders of Fortuna Island, all of whom sported quite impressive tans and mostly black hair, appeared to be giving us a wide berth. Maybe they just didn't want to get caught up in my sparring with Ryan. I didn't blame them. What with me mentally tossing water about in humongous waves, and Ryan sending plumes of fire off that commonly ended up exploding somewhere nearby, most normal people would be quite nervous to be within our general vicinity.

Cracking my neck, I groaned painfully and sighed. "Well, I suppose you all have a point. Lucy? ...Lucy?" I looked around for our beautiful female captain, who also happened to be my girlfriend. I had thought that she was sitting with Nami and Robin, but I couldn't see hide nor hair of the tell-tale straw hat which was always perched on her crown. I blinked in surprise. "Uh... guys, where's Lucy?"

"Your girlfriend's playing in the water," Nami said bluntly.

My face heated up, and I was about to make a snappy retort over how much teasing Nami had put me through the past few days (dear Lord, the teasing about my captain being my girlfriend!). But then I blinked and paused. "...Wait. Did you say... in the water?"

My head swiveled fearfully to the ocean, sure I was about to see a drowning Monkey D. Lucy. Due to the fact that she'd eaten one of the fabled Devil Fruits - - the Gum-Gum one, to be precise - - she was like a hammer in the ocean; she just sunk and kept on sinking. Then my wide eyes landed on a teenage girl with long, black hair like a river, laughter bubbling up endlessly from her chest as she scurried back from the tide, which washed up just inches from her sandled feet. Beside her, an adorable little animal no taller than about a foot and a half, with a head disproportionately larger than its body, copied her, also giggling like crazy. Lucy and Chopper, having backpedaled much too quickly, lost their balance and toppled backward, sniggering the whole time.

I rolled my eyes. "Geez, Lucy," I called out, and the rubber-girl's head turned to look curiously at me. I grinned. "You and Chopper are acting like children. A pirate captain and her doctor should have more dignity than that, eh?"

"You're one to talk about dignity," she huffed cheekily. "You beat up on a pelican yesterday."

My cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "Hey, it's not my fault it pooped on my head!" I said. "Besides, you're the one who fell into the town sewers!"

Her face paled, and she stared distantly into the ocean, as if trying to forget some terrible memory. "Never again," she murmured. "I'm never going down another manhole in my life."

Nami shuddered in disgust. "You're not the one who actually had to wash you, though, Lucy-chan," she grumbled.

Chopper laughed. "You were really gross!"

I cleared my throat. "Regardless, Lucy... while I'm taking a break from training, do you, uh... want to go grab a bite to eat in town with me?" I frowned at Nami, who was smirking like this was hilarious to watch. "...Just us?"

A blonde head poked around the side of Robin's beach chair, scowling. "Oi, Spaz!" spat Sanji, the chef of the crew. "Don't you go eating too much! I'm making a seafood spread tonight, and if even one bit of it goes wasted, I'll kick you overboard!"

"Aye, aye." I flipped the blond off casually, and his teeth ground furiously. He seemed caught between refusing to let Lucy go on a 'date' with a 'bastard look-out' like me, and stopping Lucy from being happy, or letting us go and losing any possible chance he had with the captain, no matter how small. After several moments in which we had an equally nasty glaring contest, Sanji grumbled under his breath and returned to giving Robin a back massage.

The raven-haired girl again looked at me in surprise, a blush stealing across her face. A small smile crept up her lips. "Lunch with you? Yeah, definitely."

Incredibly happy, I walked over to her and offered my hand to help her get to her feet. She clasped it, her soft fingers interlocking with mine. I pulled her up and grinned. "Well, then, let's get going."

Ryan watched us leave, unimpressed. "...And just like that, I've been forgotten."

Walking through the streets of the only town on Fortuna Island, a quiet little burg appropriately named Sea Haven, Lucy and I were in complete peace together.

We had arrived on this island three days after leaving Alabasta, and so far had spent a wonderful vacation here while our Log Pose reset. There were no insane pirates ravaging the villagers, no crazy dictators suppressing the rights of the people, no Devil Fruit eaters going on a rampage... all was calm. After the recent civil war we'd just helped win in a desert country, we Straw Hats had breathed in the relaxation like a dead man brought back to life. Our bodies still ached from the exertion of the many tough battles we'd been through recently, but were slowly restoring themselves to full strength. I figured there was a reason why Fortuna Island was called by many, 'the island of good luck.'

Overhead, the sun shone brightly. Birds chirped happily in the trees lining Sea Haven's streets, and flowers lifted up their heads in full bloom. It was all so different from Alabasta, which had been filled up with so much sand, that it almost made my brain hurt.

"It's beautiful, isn't it, Luce?" I sighed in peaceful bliss.

A grin spread across Lucy's lips. "Yeah, it is," she agreed, but then she pouted. "Everything here is so boring, though!"

"Whaddya mean?"

"It's too quiet!" she huffed. Her lower lip stuck out like an upset little kid's, and I rolled my eyes at the sight. Classic Lucy. "No one here is doing anything worth getting in a fight over, and my entire body just wants to punchkickpunchkick - -"

"Aye, aye," I said blandly. "I know you're a human tornado, Lucy, but could you stand to be a mere breeze sometimes?"

She blinked in confusion. "Huh what?"

"What I mean is, you've gotta tone it down a notch. There's not always gonna be some major battle we need to get into. Just relax and have fun!"

As we strolled through town, Lucy puffing about like a hyperactive four-year-old, I noticed a small building with walls that were mostly glass windows. Sitting on the corner of a busy street, it was the smallest building on the block. It was shaped like a trailer home, except about five times bigger, and had full metal pipes stretching along the top corners. A sign reading Chance's Grub! Now Open! hung on a peg in the center of its red door, and a menu stood outside it on a recycled music stand. It looked like one of those old steel trolley diners, except Oda-style.

Lucy's stomach rumbled. "I smell meat!" she declared, her nose flaring as her eyes homed in on the diner.

I sweatdropped. "Well," I said fondly, "I guess I know where we're eating, then."

We maneuvered our way inside, sat down, and ordered our meals. Lucy demanded one of everything on the menu (no surprise for me, although I've seen ghosts with more color than our waitress after she heard my girlfriend's request). I studied the menu for somewhat longer than her, before deciding upon a glass of iced lemonade and a coney dog.

Man, that had surprised me. They had coney dogs in the world of One Piece?

Whatever glorious bastard made this possible when New York didn't even exist here, I didn't even know, but I definitely wasn't gonna pass this chance up.

"What's a coney dog?" asked Lucy, blinking owlishly after my order.

"You've never had one before?" I gaped at her. "Okay, you are going to love these things. They actually partially come from my home city, and they used to be one of my favorite foods. They're awesome."

Her eyes lit up. "Hey, hey, you never told me what that place you come from's like! Uh, what was it again? Old Cork?"

"New York," I deadpanned. Then I grinned. "But hey, I know you'd love it if you ever got to go there, Luce! There's so many awesome things to do there, and there's so much amazing stuff that's been invented in my world that you'd have a field day. We have these things called cars which you can drive everywhere, and they go super fast - - there's a lot of rules to driving and laws for the road, though, so it's a bit of a hassle, really."

"Cars? They sound COOL!" Lucy gushed, her eyes sparking as she leaned so close across the table, other customers shot disturbed glances her way.

I nodded. "And we've got these things called trains, too. Think of them like really big boats, except they can float across the land on these railroads."

"Really!?" Lucy gasped, her eyes nearly popping out of her head. "Whoa! A-awesome!"

I proceeded to tell her all about Earth, New York City, and my old 'family,' which consisted of an ex-druggee, Cracked-Up Kane, and a computer geek, Jason. For Lucy's part, she listened extremely well. The rubber-girl was very attentive to my story, her black hair bouncing with her nods as I described the Statue of Liberty and why it was so important. I'm sure most of what I said ended up flying in one ear and out the other. But it was nice to finally explain everything to somebody - - even if said someone was a complete moron like Lucy, and not someone who could actually use the information, like perhaps Robin.

Of course, there was still one thing I hadn't told anybody.

Despite the fact that all the Straw Hats had learned I was not, in fact, born in this world, and was from an entirely different one altogether, I still hadn't had the heart to inform them that they were all fictional characters in a manga. (Well, fictional characters of an alternate universe of a manga, but that was besides the point.)

I figured they had enough on their minds, without the knowledge that they weren't really... real. Even so, it ate at me every single day. I hated living a lie to my friends, even if it was to protect their sanity. Who knows what they might do if they realized their entire lives were just part of the plot of a comic in one small corner of a very large world? I didn't want to think about it. And yet... there was always that doubt. That horrible little guilt, whispering in the back of my mind every day that I was still just one big liar, that I didn't deserve to be on the crew because I couldn't even man up and tell them this one little thing.

And that scared me.

Because, you see, I'm not like any normal human. I'm not even like any normal demigod. Because in the back of my mind, I've got a devil living inside me, a devil named Dagger. He looks like me. He talks like me. Hell, he even sort of acts like me - - crazier, bloodthirstier, and downright evil, sure, but still like me. And I know that at the first sign of mental instability, Dagger would jump at the chance to take over my body, rise up to full power, and destroy everyone and everything I love.

Watching Lucy laugh as I told her about my dear friend Jason and the time he fell into Hudson Bay trying to stop a rat from stealing his Jolly Rancher, I knew one thing for certain. I couldn't, under any circumstance, let that happen.

TIME SKIP - - WITH THE REST OF THE STRAW HATS

"Geez," sighed Ryan Spencer, son of the current demon of the forge. His freckles rippled across his face like ocean spray rolls over waves; a rather curious effect, thought Nami, but she decided not to voice her thought. "How long are those two lovebirds gonna be gone?"

She shrugged. "It's their first real date alone together," she pointed out. "It wouldn't surprise me if we didn't see them for the rest of the night."

"How did that happen anyway?" he laughed. The young man was tall, his hair topped with a fiery red mess of hair that was one hell of a battle to comb in the morning. Nami had learned quite an extraordinary amount of curses merely by listening to him attempt to clean up yesterday morning... despite the fact that they'd been on opposite corners of their ship, the Going Merry.

"How did what happen?" she asked. "How did they get together?"

A curt nod was all that the ginger navigator needed to know she had guessed correctly.

"Well, it's an interesting story, actually. See, Lucy-chan cornered Damon about it in the hallways of Alabasta's palace - -"

"Not even close!" barked Zoro. "You let it slip to Lucy in the bathtubs that Damon had been crushing on her! You basically threatened her to confront him about it lest you up her debt to you for the next decade!"

Ryan sweatdropped. "I see now why everyone calls you sea witch, Nami-san."

Robin, folding one perfectly tanned leg over the other, giggled and brushed a lock of fallen hair back behind her head. "Ara, ara, just give her some treasure and she'll love you forever, Writer-san."

Both blushed. "S-SHUT UP, ROBIN!"

The redheaded young man glared out into the ocean, cheeks nearing the same color of his hair. He wasn't interested in Nami, no way! He'd barely had enough time on the Going Merry to even properly be called a Straw Hat at this point. And his manner of joining had been entirely unorthodox at that - - he'd pretty much demanded they let him join, so he could keep a track of Damon and let the god he worked for, Malik Meggido, know when the son of the sea was ready to make his decision. It was quite the decision, too. Would he stick with what he knew, and decide that his father, Aeso, told the truth about the Immortal War? Or would he see the unwavering righteousness in Ryan and Malik's path, and decide to fight for the real gods to stop the destruction of the world?

One way or another, Ryan thought, watching a small boat far out in the ocean bob across the waves, an interesting three weeks lay before them.

As he stared out to sea, he imagined he saw the aforementioned boat draw closer. Ryan's eyes furrowed. Did they think they could land here or something, and if so, were they idiots? Couldn't they see this stretch of land was a public beach?

Then, as if from a very, very long tunnel, Ryan's ears picked up a deep and resounding BOOM.

Smoke trailed from the ship.

"Someone fired a cannon!" shouted Chopper, sniffing the air as he fell away from some more waves. In Lucy's absence, he'd continued to dash forward to them and then scutter away, although significantly less enthusiastic without a partner.

"A cannon?" Sanji repeated, blinking as looked up from massaging Robin's shoulders.

And then, very quickly, three things happened.

Number One: A cannonball ripped by the vacationing pirates in record speed, so fast indeed that the wind it created blasted their red-and-orange sunbrella back. Said cannonball continued right past them, sailing over the beach and into the town of Sea Haven above the minuscule cliff which separated the main island from the sand. It smashed into a large, government-looking building and erupted, like a bomb. Smoke billowed up into the air.

Number Two: A siren broke out in town, blaring out the phrase, PIRATE ATTACK! DESTROY ALL NON-RETIRED PIRATES IN THE VICINITY! PIRATE ATTACK! DESTROY ALL NON-RETIRED PIRATES IN THE VICINITY! so loud Ryan was certain he'd be hard of hearing for the next month. The ship that the mechanic and Chronicler of the Straw Hat Pirates had noticed now sat close enough that a pirate flag could easily be seen. The black sails bore the mark of a Jolly Roger whose two hammers crossed behind a sneering skull, which had one eye scarred closed and its nose-hole crooked.

Number Three: Panic broke out in the beach and on the streets of Sea Haven. It suddenly seemed that every last islander owned a gun, because hundreds of them were now pointed in the Straw Hats' directions, courtesy of some very angry villagers. "Look at this!" someone shouted, pointing to a stack of wanted posters and then at them. "These guys are wanted pirates! I've seen their names in the papers and thought they looked familiar when they landed here! They must've been planning an attack here these past few days, and called in some friends to help them do it! KILL THEM!"

Zoro yawned and rubbed his eyes, glaring intently at the islanders. "What kind of idiots are these people?" he growled. "If we wanted to kill them, we would've done it by now."

Ryan took a nervous step backward, not liking the looks of that bazooka one of the islanders had whipped out of nowhere, and was now pointing directly at him. "Whatever the state of their IQ, they mean business," he gulped. "I don't like it, but it looks like they've lumped us in with those pirates who just blew up what I assume to be their town hall."

"Great," spat Nami, still in her sun-bathing bikini and glasses. Her hand slipped beneath her, where she had hidden the three pieces of the Clima-Tact which Usopp had crafted for her to use in battle. "And after all the precious belli I invested into this place's clothes stores! They sure show their appreciation well!"

Usopp was beside himself. "Forgot your stupid money! We're going to die if someone doesn't do something qui~i~i~ick!"

"As if I would let Nami-swan, Robin-chwan, or Lucy-sama die!" roared Sanji, his eyes like fire as he whipped around to face the enraged islanders.

"Ara, ara, things got interesting surprisingly quickly," mused Robin. She swung herself off the beach chair and stood up casually, completely in her zone. Her arms crossed dangerously in front of her chest.

"Well, I suppose there's only one way out of here now," Zoro called, over the growing shouts of the island's dwellers. "Hey, Nami! Your Log Pose set yet?"

"No, it isn't - - wait, no, actually it is! Yep!"

Zoro unsheathed his swords, keeping two of them in either hand and his most prized sword, Wado Ichimonji, in his mouth. His knees bent into a horse stance, and a green aura of danger radiated from his body. "Then let's blow this Popsicle stand!"

"AYE!" everyone roared, deadly smirks ripping across their faces.

TIME SKIP - - DAMON'S POV

Needless to say, when the cannonball blew up the building right across the freaking street from me just as I was about to take my first bite of coney dog, I was really, really pissed.

Essentially when all of the villagers suddenly pointed a myriad of different shooty weapons in the faces of Lucy and me.

"Oh come on!" I complained. "Seriously!?"

Lucy looked up at the barrel pointed directly into her face, held by noneother than the waitress who had just handed me my coney dog. A wicked grin spread across the rubber-girl's face, and I could practically see her eyes flip into boxing gloves.

"Well, Lucy-chan, guess you got that fight you wanted," I said woodenly, and cracked my knuckles.

"Yep!" She grinned like the cat that ate the bird. "Shishishishi!"

It was at that moment that the islanders decided to unleash a righteous hell of bullets, cannonballs, and all manner of nasty, round projectiles at us.

One couldn't say vacation on Fortuna Island was entirely quiet, it seems.

At long last.

We have finally arrived at the end of the first chapter of Gone Batty.

Prepare yourselves for one epic ride, folks, because this is going to be completely amazing. This chapter was more introductory to the story than anything else, really. No, this 'Fortuna Island' is not the incredibly-small-percentage-of-survival island that Malik Megiddo mentioned in the last book, but that particular one is coming up here soon.

Damon: Oh, come on! I finally go on a date with Lucy and this happens! Just my luck! Shit-author!

Lucy: I think it's an awesome date myself! Shishishi!

Damon: *sweatdrops*

Ryan: *shakes head* A hopeless case, that one, a hopeless case...

I hope you have all enjoyed this first entry of the new adventure in the One Piece: Full Blast series! If there is anyone who is confused about anything that the characters have mentioned, I implore you to go back and read the previous two books in this series first. They are From the East and Across the Sands, in order. Read those, and then you will understand any past events mentioned in this chapter and future chapters. Also, for everyone who has read this, I humbly ask if you enjoyed it, for your follows and/or favorites, as they really make a guy happy. Reviews are welcome as well, and indeed, much more appreciated than even the aforementioned follows/favorites, as they show what you really feel about my works.

Stay tuned for more demigodishness and pirate awesomeness in the future!

Have a wonderful Easter, everybody! -TheRealEvanSG