breathe again
When Clarke holds out her hand, it's like coming up for air.
Post 3x03 The Bow™.
...
When Clarke holds out her hand, it's like coming up for air.
Lexa breathes, feeling her chest expand more fully than it has in months—or in truth, since the moment she had betrayed Clarke, and broken everything, on the mountain.
Lexa cautiously slips her hand into Clarke's, and warmth floods through her as she lets Clarke help her stand. Clarke feels this, the tiniest of concessions, and Clarke begins to believe.
As they stand together, Lexa is acutely aware that Clarke has yet to let go. She tries to quell the nerves that unsteady her hands, but it has been so, so long since Lexa has seen Clarke this way. Open, even if in the smallest of ways, to trusting her, to working with her, to falling for her. Lexa's breath hitches, and she closes her eyes against that ever-present hope.
Clarke is surprised to feel Lexa's hand shake in hers. She has not seen Lexa this way for quite some time, as vulnerable, perhaps, as she's ever been, or ever will be. Standing in front of Clarke, naked and raw in her plea for forgiveness, and Clarke aches; at the image of Lexa as she turned her back on her at the mountain, at the way she can still feel the press of Lexa's lips against her own, and at the pain now guarded behind Lexa's haunted green eyes.
Seeing Clarke's hesitation, Lexa casts down her gaze and begins to let go of their embrace, but Clarke surprises herself by tightening her grip.
"It's okay," Clarke whispers, choosing to forget and instead, to feel, and pulls Lexa towards her. "You're safe."
Lexa cannot help but gasp as Clarke's embrace encompasses her. Strong arms encircle her waist, holding firmly but gently, and Clarke's thumbs trace circles against the exposed skin on the small of her back. As Lexa returns the embrace, Clarke feels the moment Lexa decides to let the walls come down; her shoulders relax from their fighting stance and her head comes to rest lightly against Clarke's.
"I tried so hard to hate you," Clarke whispers, voice shaking. Lexa's body tenses, but Clarke holds her firmly in place. "I tried, but a part of me just couldn't."
Clarke pauses, closing her eyes against the battling of desire and betrayal, her constant companions. "All this time, a part of me…," Clarke sighs, and the whisper of her breath against Lexa's neck sends tingles down her spine.
In the smallest of voices comes Clarke's confession. "I missed you, Lexa."
Lexa freezes, momentarily overwhelmed by her mind and body's response to those few words. She pauses and tries to steady herself before responding, lest she ruin—again—this fragile, blossoming connection between them. She takes a deep breath, pulls back, and holds Clarke's gaze.
"You have been with me, Clarke. In every moment, you are with me."
...
Disclaimer: The show and its characters are not mine (unfortunately, I would treat them so much better).