DIS: I beg of you, do not ask where this utterly pointless idea came from.

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Title: A conversation with an abiou and a yami

Rating: M for language

Genre: Humor

Summary: We go inside the Millennium Puzzle, Millennium Rod, and the Millennium Ring where the abious and the yamis have odd conversations, sometimes even violent. Three-part. Humor.

Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own YuGiOh. Kazuki Takahashi does, though.

Notes/Warnings: Utter pointlessness; humor; three-part; OOCness

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Chapter One, A conversation with Yuugi and Atemu

Today was a beautiful day. A glorious day, in fact. Summer vacation had just begun and so it was quite warm out, but not so much that one would complain about it. Today, we look in the Kame Game Shop where Yuugi is sitting on his bed, looking as though he is concentrating very hard on something with his eyes closed. His Millennium Puzzle is glowing so let's go inside and see what he and Atemu, the Pharaoh, are speaking about...

Yuugi and Atemu are sitting in Atemu's soul room on the steps, silent, but it appears that they had been talking about something. "Yeah..." Atemu agreed after a moment, "Anzu is cute."

"I know," Yuugi said with a sigh, rubbing the back of his head. "And when I saw her in her bathing suit, I just...I couldn't help it! I had a nosebleed!"

"It's fine, Yuugi, I'm sure that Anzu will understand."

"Are you sure, other me?" Atemu's eyebrow twitched. "I mean...will she understand how I feel about her, other me?" An anime vein popped on the Pharaoh's forehead. "We've always been best friends and now I...I feel something more about her!" He gasped, putting his hands to his mouth and blushing. "Oh, I'm sorry, other me! You just make me talk so much!" Atemu rolled his eyes when Yuugi wasn't looking, then glowered at the ground. There it was again. Referring to him as 'other me' instead of his real name.

That really pisses me off, Atemu fumed.

"So anyway, other me – "

"Yuugi!" Atemu snapped, turning to him and grabbing his shoulders. "Listen! I know that you have a fetish with naming me as 'other me' but Ra dammit, Yuugi, I have a name now! Is that so hard to understand? It's Atemu! A – T – E – M – U! Got it?"

"Gee, other me, I didn't think – "

"ATEMU! I AM NOT THE OTHER YOU! I AM ATEMU, ONCE THE GREAT PHARAOH OF EGYPT! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, KID?"

"KID?" Yuugi repeated in an outraged tone. "I'm going to be seventeen, thank you very much!"

"Be quiet, little one, when I'm talking," Atemu growled at him, still very irritated.

"IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT HEIGHTH, ISN'T IT?" Yuugi boomed, startling the Pharaoh. "I might be short, but who's the greatest duelist in the world? Who defeated Pegasus? Who defeated all those Ghouls and Malik and Marik? Who was the one that saved your butt from that weird green thing of Dartz's? WHO WAS IT THAT DEFEATED DARTZ? AND WHO DEFEATED KAIBA ABOUT A BILLION TIMES OVER AND HAD HIM GO HOME BAWLING HIS HEAD OFF?"

"...Um...me," Atemu answered, blinking. Yuugi's jaw dropped, then his face turned into an angry one again.

"I'm not an elementary kid, damn you! I'm in high school and I'll be graduating next year! And you just possessed me whenever a duel came." Yuugi suddenly clasped his hands, getting up and prancing around, saying, "Oh-my-gosh, oh-my-gosh, it's a duel! What should I do, what should I do? I can't handle the suspense, I gotta do something! Ooh, ooh, I know! I'll take over Yuugi's body and go prancing around, tra-la-la!" Yuugi halted his antics, breathing hard and glaring over at Atemu, who gawked at him. What had happened to him? The kid really needed to take some Valium...

"Yuugi, that was a very inaccurate and rather rude portrayal of me."

"Oh, shut up, other me," Yuugi muttered.

"MY NAME IS ATEMU, DAMMIT!" Once again, the Pharaoh was pissed. "I'm sick of the way your friends call me Yuugi and I'm sick of you calling me the other you! FOR THE LAST TIME, I – HAVE – A NAME!"

"Yeah and only Anzu acknowledges that," Yuugi told him under his breath. Atemu looked at him blankly, then sighed and smiled.

"Yes, Anzu..." He smirked smugly at Yuugi. "That's because she likes me and not you." Yuugi gazed at him for a moment, before bursting into tears. Atemu began to maniacally laugh as his abiou sobbed.

"Y-you're mean!" Yuugi sputtered, pointing at him, tears streaming down his face. "I hate you! I hate you, hate you, hate you!"

"HEY! I'm the only reason you have friends! Don't ever forget that, Yuugi, don't ever forget that!"

"N-nuh-uh!"

"Oh, yes, Yuugi," Atemu said darkly, "that's the only reason you have friends. They thought you went into puberty when I came out, but you know what, Yuugi? They thought you were cooler when you went into puberty which is exactly why you have friends!"

"No! It's not true!" Yuugi howled while Atemu laughed. "You're lying! LIAR!" He pointed at him again, this time in rage.

"I AM NOT A LIAR!" Atemu snapped, offended.

"Yes you are! Liar, liar, LIAR!"

"I AM NOT!"

"YOU ARE TOO!" Yuugi stormed over to the door and turned to Atemu, giving him the finger. Atemu gasped, his eyes widening.

"WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT?"

"FROM YOUR MOM IN BED!"

"M-my...NOOOO!" Atemu collapsed on the floor, sobbing. Yuugi snorted, wiping his tears from his face and slamming the door as he went out. "THAT'S IT! YUUGI, I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU!"

"I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU, EITHER!" Yuugi shouted from behind the door. Atemu sniffed, sulking on the floor.

"...Little brat," the Pharaoh muttered to himself.

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DIS: Chapter Two - Marik and Malik! And then the final chapter, Bakura and Ryou! Hope that you guys like this so far. Please review and tell me how it was!