Title: Bowling
Fandom: Adventure Time
Pairing: Finn / Ice Queen
Summary:Finn and the Ice Queen go bowling.
Warnings: Age difference.
Originally Published: June 18th, 2013
Penguin bowling is probably one of the most fun things you can do in the Ice Kingdom. Finn, admittedly, couldn't really keep track of the points and had to wear a sweater whenever he did it. But, it was worth it to watch the little flightless birds flail around on their stomachs as they hurtled down the iced lane and into an arrangement of bowling pins carved out of ice.
The sport of penguin bowling was something that Finn usually did with his brother Jake. But, today he was doing it with the Ice Queen.
Finn flinched as she cackled her glee at getting a strike.
"Oh, yeah, baby!" she cawed. "Bow down to your queen. Bow Down!" she yelled, throwing her hands in the air and shooting frost lightning high into the bright blue sky. The lightning struck some lazy puffy clouds that quickly got thicker and pressed together to cover the sun and start sprinkling thick fluffy snowflakes down around them.
Laughing nervously, Finn brushed some of the wet stuff off of his hat. "Good one," he said.
"Why, thank you, Finn the Human Boy," the Ice Queen tittered, lowering her hands and femininely brushing her long white hair over her shoulder. Finn thought that he saw her flutter her long white eyelashes at him and fought a blush.
Finn coughed nervously into his hand and snatched up another penguin who wandered by, turning away from the Ice Queen's flirtatious glances to eye the icy lane. He just had to keep telling himself that he was doing this for the poor dudes of Aaa. A few weeks ago, when Princess Bubblegum discovered the gate to their alternate gender-bent universe, Finn had met the Ice Queen and learned that she skeeved on guys just like the Ice King skeeved on princesses. Finn and his female counterpart Fiona had decided to use their switched genders to their advantage and hang out with their respective Ice Royalty to stop them from tormenting the other royals of Ooo and Aaa.
At the time the plan had seemed great! Well, actually it sucked in a legitimate sense. Finn was sort of used to the Ice King, but the Ice Queen was way different. First of all, she was a little meaner and smarter than the Ice King (actually a lot more, but Finn tried not to think about that too hard). Secondly, she flirted with Finn and complimented his bod, like, all the time. Finn was fifteen! He was pretty sure she was, like, at least middle-aged and that her hitting on him was wildly inappropriate or whatever. But, Fiona hanging out with and distracting the Ice King meant none of the fine ladies of Ooo got kidnapped or awkwardly hit on. And, with Finn hanging out with the Ice Queen and taking all of her weirdly inappropriate advances that meant that she wasn't harassing all of the prince dudes of Aaa. So, Finn guessed it was worth a little awkwardness to do some preventative hero-ing.
Finn shook his head to try and get rid of all the rambling thoughts tumbling through his head and focused on the lane. His penguin quacked and struggled weakly, but Finn was too focused on lining up his shot to notice.
With a big wind up, Finn let his penguin float out of his hand and onto the ice. The penguin didn't even bounce as it slid onto the lane and towards the rough hewn ice pins. Finn worried at his bottom lip as he watched the penguin slide squarely down the lane. With an indignant squawk the penguin slapped the middle pin and sent the pins flying with its little flailing arms.
"Yes!" Finn hissed, pumping his fist into the air as his face split into a huge grin. "Did you see that?" Finn asked excitedly, turning back to the Ice Queen. "That was totally a strike!" Finn exclaimed, laughing and flashing all of his haphazard and in some cases missing teeth.
"Humph!" Ice Queen harrumphed, crossing her arms over her chest and sticking her nose in the air. "What dumb luck. It won't be enough to beat me."
Finn stepped back with a satisfied expression as the Ice Queen flounced past him to snatch up another penguin with sharp claws. The penguin squawked in surprise, but Ice Queen paid it no mind. She narrowed her eyes at the lane and leaned forward with one leg out in front of her. Surprisingly, she wiggled her butt a little and sent her bustle to shaking as she adjusted her feet into just the right spot. Then, after standing stock still for a few moments, she sent the penguin sliding in a steep curve toward the gutter. Finn thought that the penguin would fall in the gutter and slide right past the pins, but at the last moment the Penguin curved away and back toward the pins. With a terrified quacking the penguin spun and slammed into the pins sending them flying in every direction.
The Ice Queen was celebrating and cackling before the little tuxedo bird even came to a halt, dancing, wiggling, and shooting more frost lightning into the air. "Aha! Take that!" she cackled.
But, it was all premature. As the sparkling ice particles cleared out of the air and a dizzy penguin stumbled away, a single pin remained standing amidst it's cracked and broken brethren.
Finn started laughing, pointing over the Ice Queen's shoulder to indicate the remaining pin. The Ice Queen whipped around in surprise, her expression darkening as she took in the last standing pin.
Laughing good naturedly, Finn scratched his stomach and looked at the Ice Queen. "Soooooooo...? Does that mean I win?" Finn remembered that the Ice Queen had mentioned they were in their last set and he thought that meant that this would be their last turn. But, he wasn't so good with bowling terms, so he wasn't sure.
"Raaargh!" Ice Queen roared, making Finn jump and take a few tentative steps backward. It didn't matter, however, as the Ice Queen launched herself at Finn with a flex of her eyebrows, tossing him into a snowbank and causing him to land heavily on his back. "No, you did not win!" she sneered as she leapt on top of him. "We will have one more set! One more set and we will see who the winner is!"
"Okay, okay!" Finn said hastily, putting his hands out to cautiously pat Ice Queen on her huge fluffy shoulders. "One more set."
The Ice Queen seemed to be suitably appeased by this and shuffled awkwardly off of Finn to brush the little bit of snow that clung to her dark blue dress off. Once everything was back in place, she reached down to snatch another penguin that had wandered too close and held it out to Finn with a dark look. Finn cautiously approached the Ice Queen and took the penguin from her outstretched hand.
Thinking quickly, Finn went back to the iced bowling lane as the Ice Queen created another set of pins out of thin air with a flick of her fingers. Finn squeezed the little flailing penguin to his chest and thought for a moment. It seemed to him that Ice Queen was actually a pretty sore loser. And, if he wanted to continue hanging out with her he might not want to win this bowling match. Still, he had to make it look real or she might find out!
Balancing the pudgy tuxedo buddy in his hand, Finn began to eye the lane. The best thing, he thought, was to try and do that weird curveball toss that the Ice Queen had. So, when Finn tossed his penguin he flicked his wrist to put a little bit of a turn on it. And, at first, it looked terrifyingly like the turn might work and miss the gutter and hit the pins. But, the bird edged the gutter for a second too long and ended up falling in and gliding harmlessly past the pins.
Behind him, the Ice Queen shrieked in joy.
"Oh, son of a toot!" Finn muttered, kicking at a little pile of snow in disappointment. But, of course, it was all an elaborate ruse that Finn felt quite good about as the Ice Queen rudely shoved him out of the way to take her turn at the lane.
"Watch how it's done, lame-o," Ice Queen taunted. This time, the Ice Queen barely took the time to line up her strike. She had her penguin in hand, wound up her throw, then sent the penguin rocketing down the middle of the lane sending the pins flying.
"Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" the Ice Queen cheered, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she threw her hands up in the air. Still barely touching the ground, the Ice Queen floated over to Finn. "I won, Finn the Human Boy! I beat you at bowling! You are surely destroyed and strangely attracted to me!" the Ice Queen declared.
Finn laughed nervously, "Haha, yeah. Totes."
The Ice Queen sidled up to Finn, pressing herself all along the side of his body. Finn blushed at the feeling of the Ice Queen's cold and full torso pressing into his warmer one.
"Finn, I must be owed some kind of reward for beating you at bowling," she twittered in his ear.
"Uh, sure," Finn answered nervously. "You won so, if it's like when Jake and I play, that means I have to do whatever you say."
The Ice Queen's face split into a toothy grin and Finn shuddered to see all of the sharp pointy teeth behind her blue black lips.
"Well, then. Anything I say, huh?" she hummed, tapping a long clawed finger to her lips. "In that case, I demand a kiss!" she declared, attaching her hands to her hips and leaning forward expectantly.
"Oh, uh," Finn fumbled, his hands going everywhere while he had no idea where to put them. "Um, I guess that's cool, I guess," he muttered.
Hesitantly, Finn put his hands on the Ice Queen's shoulders and stood up on his tiptoes. She obligingly leaned down and forward and Finn blushed to notice that he had a very good view of the way her chest filled out the top of her dress. Finn swallowed past the sudden dryness in his mouth and quickly pressed his mouth against hers. Her lips were cold and dry against his wet chapped mouth and Finn pulled away before they could touch for more than a second.
The Ice Queen stayed right where she was with her eyes closed and her lips puckered as Finn stepped awkwardly away. After a few moments, she peaked one eye open and then pouted.
"Is that all?" she snapped.
"Uh, yeah? I guess. Why, what else -"
That was all Finn got out before the Ice Queen had him tackled to the ground again. Jeez, how many times was he going to be tackled today? This was too much like hanging out with the Ice King.
The Ice Queen was giggling above him. "What a little gentleman," she complimented him (he thought) and bopped him on the nose with a clawed finger. "But, I didn't want a gentleman's kiss," she growled.
Finn felt a curl of heat deep in his gut at the way the Ice Queen had growled at him, despite the cold snow beneath him and the freezing skin and skirts of the Ice Queen above him.
Darting forward, the Ice Queen slammed her mouth against Finn's. The force of her attack startled a gasp out of him and he felt something cold and wet slip into his mouth. Finn jumped and the heat twitched again in his stomach despite his moan of "Ew, gross" as he pushed the Ice Queen away.
The Ice Queen was laughing just a few inches from his face and her breath smelled like pine needles and permafrost. "Come on, baby," she growled in that weird husky voice that went straight to his gut. "Put some sugar in my bowl."
"Okay!" Finn yelped, bursting out of the pile of snow and from underneath the Ice Queen to stand with a red face and determined expression. "Too weird!"
From her spot in the snow pile at Finn's feet, the Ice Queen snickered. "Aw, you're no fun kiddo."
"That's right! That's me! I am the opposite of fun. The killer of fun. Fun massacre master Finn."
The Ice Queen giggled again in her wheezy gasping way and Finn had to fight the urge to really start to enjoy that sound.
"You know, you're not so bad, Ice Queen," Finn muttered down to her.
The Ice Queen twitched her eyebrows and floated back to her feet. "Well, of course! We ice royalty got a bad rap, but we're pretty cool guys!" she exclaimed.
Finn snorted. "Yeah, I guess. When you're not all up in people's grills."
"Finn, I will always be in everyone's grill all the time. Otherwise, what kind of Ice Queen would I be?" she asked, floating higher and higher.
"Hey, you wanna meet tomorrow?" Finn yelled after her as she continued to float up toward her ice castle.
"Psh. I've got better things to do than to entertain some harebrained hero" she called back.
Finn smiled back up at her slowly disappearing figure in the fluffy falling snow. Tomorrow, it is.