Title: New Beginnings
Author: Steph aka CaptainSwanLuver
Rating: K
Pairing: Hook/Emma
Category: Romance/Drama
Disclaimer: I do this out of a love for this couple. No infringement is intended.
Spoilers: Promo for 4x07. No spoilers for the rest of the episode.
Summary: Based on the promo for episode 4x07. Emma struggles with her powers being out of control and Hook tries to comfort her. This leads to Hook revealing his childhood to Emma and to their relationship deepening.
Note: This fic basically deals with a lot of things I hope are addressed between Hook and Emma at some point this season. I hope you enjoy it! -Steph
-New Beginnings: Part 1/1-
Emma stared at the huge hole she had just made in the wall of the sheriff's station.
"What have I done?"
Suddenly, she heard the commotion of people running towards her. She turned to find Hook and David approaching her.
"Just keep your distance. I don't know if I can control myself," she warned.
"Emma," Killian said, as he came closer to her.
He reached out to touch her arm to try to calm her.
"Killian, no!" she screamed, as she swung her arm away from him and sparks flew off of her.
A light post began to fall towards Hook, as Emma's eyes widened in horror. David quickly pushed Hook out of the way. The light post narrowly missed David, coming to a crash on the ground.
Emma stared in shock at Hook and David, who lay on the ground unharmed, but momentarily dazed. She made a move to help them, but more sparks flew out of her hands. She froze for a moment, then turned on her heel and took off running.
Hook's eyes followed her retreating figure, as he slowly stood up.
"Emma!" he called after her. "Emma, please stop!"
She heard his desperate cries for her, but she kept on running.
…
Hook found Emma sitting on a bench in the park. She heard him approaching and immediately sprang up, holding up her hands.
"Please, Killian, don't come any closer."
Hook stopped in his tracks. "Love, please don't shut me out again."
Emma shook her head. "I'm not shutting you out. I am trying to protect you. Can't you see that? I can't control my powers right now. I…I don't want to hurt you."
Hook shook his head sharply. "You could never hurt me."
Emma felt tears welling up in her eyes, but furiously tried to blink them back. "Not intentionally, but I don't know what I am capable of right now, Killian." She squeezed her eyes shut, as a tear slipped down her cheek. "You could've been killed just now. That light post could've killed you if it weren't for my father pushing you out of the way. And he just barely escaped being injured too."
"It wasn't your fault, Swan," he said, as he took a few tentative steps toward her.
She shook her head. "I couldn't live with myself if I did anything to hurt you, Killian. I have been so afraid of losing you. Now, I have to face the possibility that I could be the reason I lose you. Or someone else I love."
Killian's eyes widened for a moment, as she implied she loved him. She was so distraught that she didn't realize her slip or that he had taken a few more steps toward her and was now within arm's reach.
"Listen to me, please," he said. "Your powers were out of control because you were upset. It's the same thing that happened with Elsa. Take a deep breath and try to calm yourself."
Emma met his eyes and took a steadying breath, as she finally noticed just how close he had gotten to her. "Please don't come any closer."
"I'm not frightened of you," he said, nearly closing the distance between them.
"You should be," she whispered, as she tried to hold up her hands to stop him from embracing her.
Her palms fell weakly upon his chest, as he wrapped his arms around her. She stiffened for a moment, but then slowly relaxed, bringing her arms around him. She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, allowing the warmth of his embrace to comfort her and finally calm her completely.
"It's going to be alright, love," he whispered into her hair, as he placed a kiss to her forehead.
She pulled back and met his eyes. He brought his hand up and cupped her cheek.
"Just listen to me, please," he said.
Emma nodded. "Okay."
Hook took her hand in his and led her to the bench. They sat down beside each other, their hands remaining joined.
"You lost control of your powers because you were upset. What upset you?"
Emma shrugged her shoulders. "The Snow Queen. She got into my head."
"She made you doubt yourself?"
Emma bobbed her head, as she swallowed roughly. "She said my family fears me."
"You have to know that couldn't be further from the truth. Emma, this is what she does. She plays on people's worst fears about themselves, so she can attempt to control them. She planted that seed of doubt in you and watched it grow. She knew it would wreak havoc on your powers. Elsa has difficulty controlling her powers when she's upset or angry. She figured the same would be true of you."
"Anna helps Elsa control her emotions and her powers. Elsa is just now learning how to do it on her own."
Hook nodded, as he brought her hand up to his lips and placed a soft kiss to her knuckles. "And until you can do it all on your own, then I will do the same for you, if you'll let me."
Emma nodded, relief slowly filling her. She was starting to realize that she didn't have to fight her battles alone. For the first time in her life, she had someone who was willing to stand by her.
Emma swallowed hard, as a tear slipped down her cheek. Her voice emerged choked with emotion. "She made me feel like a monster. Like some kind of freak."
Hook lifted his hand and wiped away her tear with his knuckle. "You are nothing short of beautiful and amazing, love. Please never allow anyone to make you feel otherwise."
Emma shook her head. "Growing up, I always felt like an outsider. I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere. When I came here, I still felt like an outsider. Everyone here was a fairytale character. I didn't belong in their world. Then I discovered I was the Savior and I had powers. It took me a long time to accept that about myself, but once I did, I realized I wasn't an outsider anymore. For the first time, I felt like I belonged." She sighed heavily. "And then when Elsa came I had someone I could relate, someone who couldn't fully understand or could control her powers yet either. It actually made me feel better about myself."
Hook nodded. "And the Snow Queen knew that. So she tried to undo all of it. Her family feared her powers as a child, Emma. So did Elsa's parents. She knew you felt connected to Elsa and that she could use that against you and make you believe those you love fear you too. But it's simply not true."
"But maybe they should. Look at the damage I did today, Killian. Think of the damage I could've done. What if I get that upset again?"
"You will learn to control it. You'll learn to control your emotions. I will help you, Emma. If you give into this fear, then you're letting the Snow Queen win. She wishes you to feel as she did, so she can control you and then she'll get the one thing she desires: a family."
Emma nodded, taking another deep breath. "You're right. I know you're right."
Hook offered her his trademark devilish grin. "Well, love, looks like something good did come out of this."
Emma arched a skeptical eyebrow. "And what is that?"
"You finally admitted I'm right," he replied. "It's a banner day."
Emma chuckled softly, as she allowed a gentle smile to appear on her lips. She met his eyes and said softly, "Actually, something good did come from this. I realized how lucky I am to have you."
Hook grinned and then pressed a kiss to her lips. "Love, I am the fortunate one."
"I'm serious, Killian. You have been so good to me. You never gave up on me, even when I pushed you away time and time again. You could've walked away any number of times. I certainly wouldn't have blamed you. But you didn't. You have been nothing but kind, understanding, and supportive. And I haven't always been appreciative of that. Thank you."
"It has been my sincere pleasure," he replied with a smile.
She tilted her head and looked at him for a long moment. His eyebrows raised in curiosity. "What?"
"I was just thinking about the other day. When I found that file that the Snow Queen had kept of my things from when she was my foster mother. You were concerned with how I was feeling. You made the comment that the wounds we get when we're children tend to linger. I was so wrapped up in my own feelings that I acted like you couldn't possibly have related to what I dealt with as a child. You were trying to tell me that you'd been hurt as a child too, but I couldn't see it. You wanted to know more about my beginnings, but I was so self-involved that I didn't care to learn about yours. I'm sorry, Killian."
He smiled. "Apologies are unnecessary, Emma. You had quite a lot on your plate. I doubt learning of my childhood traumas would rate at the top of your priority list."
Emma shook her head. "Don't do that, Killian. Don't make excuses for me. If we're going to make this relationship work, then we have to be equal partners. And that means I have to support you as much as you support me."
Hook couldn't help but grin at her use of the word 'relationship' to describe them.
"So tell me now," she said.
"Tell you what?" he asked, with an arched eyebrow.
"Tell me about your beginnings," she said with a smile.
Hook inhaled sharply. He hadn't spoken of his childhood since he had told Bae about his father while he was staying with him on his ship.
"Well, my father taught my brother and I how to sail. He loved the water. He used to say he was never more at peace than when he was sailing a ship. My mother, on the other hand, feared the water. She had nearly drowned as a child and was afraid we would suffer the same fate. However, my brother and I were just as at home on the water as my father was. My father promised to take us sailing through the realms, despite my mother's objections. When we woke one morning during our trip, we found my father had left us. Turns out, he was a fugitive and his past transgressions had finally caught up with him. He fled to avoid capture. We never saw him again."
Emma squeezed his hand in hers. "I am so sorry, Killian. I am sure that was very hard on you and your brother."
He nodded. "That it was. I think it was most difficult on my mother. She was devastated and never recovered. She began drinking and never stopped. Three years to the day my father left, she was found floating in the harbor. Every year on that day, she would go up on this cliff and look out at the water, hoping that my father would return. This time, she was drunk, passed out, and fell off the cliff into the water."
Emma gasped and pulled him into her arms, wrapping them around him tightly. "Oh my God. I am so sorry, Killian. I had no idea."
"Thank you," he said, pulling back and meeting her eyes. "Ironically, she perished from the very thing she feared. Truth be told, my brother and I always felt she had already died from a broken heart three years earlier."
"How old were you when she died?"
"I was ten and Liam was twelve."
"Who took care of you?"
Hook shrugged his shoulders. "We had no family to take us in, so we fended for ourselves for a long time. We eventually joined the royal navy. Liam made captain and I was his first mate, until he died."
Emma nodded. "I never realized how much we have in common before. We've both been abandoned, lost those we loved, and had to fend for ourselves."
Hook offered her a smile. "Perhaps that makes us a perfect match."
Emma laughed softly. "Maybe so." Her laugh subsided, as she met his gaze. "Thank you for sharing that with me. And I'm sorry I never asked before."
"I've never told anyone else that whole story before. I never trusted anyone enough."
Emma smiled. "I am honored."
Hook put his arm around her and she placed her head on his shoulder. They stayed that way in a comfortable silence for a while, until Emma lifted her head and looked up at him.
"Do you really believe in that? Perfect matches?"
"Do you mean like soul mates?" he asked.
She nodded. "Yes."
He bobbed his head, his eyes searching hers. "Aye. I believe everyone has someone that is put on this earth just for them."
Emma dropped her gaze, swallowing hard. "So…was Milah your soul mate?"
Hook brought his hand to her chin and gently lifted her head, so that she met his eyes again. "No, she wasn't." He paused and then added, "Emma, I told you I am good at surviving. For years, I lived solely for revenge. My feelings for you finally allowed me to let go of that. Once I did, I realized I had survived for so long for another reason entirely. I've come to believe I've lived for centuries for one reason and one reason only. So that I could find you."
Emma blushed, but held his gaze. "Really?"
Hook nodded, his voice thickening with emotion. "Aye. I've crossed many realms, narrowly escaped death more times than I care to count, and I think it all led me here to you."
Emma couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips.
He paused and then asked tentatively. "And you? Do you believe in soul mates?"
Emma chuckled. "If someone asked me that question a couple of years ago, I would have laughed in their face. But now I've seen what true love looks like. I've seen firsthand what soul mates look like." She stopped and then added, looking right into his eyes. "It's hard to deny something that's right there in front of you."
Hook smiled. "That it is."
He then leaned down and placed a kiss on her lips. Emma rested her head on his shoulder and sighed contentedly.
"I wish we could just stay like this. I wish we could be a normal couple that can just hang out on a bench in the park and not have to worry about some evil Snow Queen trying to destroy them."
Hook smiled at her use of the word 'couple'.
"We'll never be a normal couple, love. I happen to believe normal is highly overrated anyhow."
Emma laughed and lifted her head to look up at him. "You would."
Hook stood up then and extended his hand to her. "Why don't you come home with me and we can continue our normal couple activities."
Emma arched an eyebrow, "If you're suggesting we...you know...then...I don't-"
Hook cut her off. "Swan, do you think of nothing but sex? I was simply suggesting we go watch Netflix."
Emma laughed, as she slipped her hand into this. "I think that's a great idea."
...
Hook gestured at the screen with his hand. "Who is this Johnny Depp fellow? I'm not certain he is convincing as a pirate."
Emma chuckled, as she snuggled closer to him and looked at Johnny Depp all decked out as Captain Jack Sparrow.
"This was a really popular movie. It even has sequels, so the fans obviously bought him as a pirate."
"I don't see the appeal. And he seems unqualified to captain a ship."
Emma laughed, but it slowly faded, as she lifted her eyes and scanned his face. "Do you ever miss your ship?"
Hook arched an eyebrow. "Where did that come from?"
"I don't know. I was just thinking about how you said everything that happened led you to me. Well, in order to get back to me after the curse, you had to trade your ship. I know how much you loved that ship and that it was a connection to your brother. It couldn't have been easy trading it. So you must miss it."
Hook nodded. "I do, but I knew I would never see it again when I traded it. I've made peace with that and I would do it all over again if given the chance. You're worth it."
Emma smiled. "That is very sweet, but what's a captain without his boat?"
"Ship."
"What?"
Hook gestured with his hand. "I'm the captain of a ship, not a boat."
"What's the difference?" Emma asked, her brow wrinkling in confusion.
Hook sighed, "You have much to learn. A boat is any vessel that travels on water, large or small. It could be a dingy. But a ship is large and majestic. Therefore, I am the captain of a ship."
Emma rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Without a ship, you might as well be Captain Crunch."
His brow furrowed. "I can't say I'm familiar with him. What land is he from? What happened to his ship?"
Emma laughed, her eyes brightening. Hook grinned, happy to see her acting lighthearted and enjoying herself.
"Never mind," she said, as she cuddled closer to him, wrapping her arm around his waist.
...
A few days later, Hook opened his door, smiling when his eyes landed on Emma.
"What a pleasant surprise," he said, as she stepped inside and placed a kiss to his lips.
He closed the door and turned around to face her, his eyes widening at the wrapped package she held in her hands.
"I have something for you."
His lips turned into a frown, fearing he had forgotten some holiday or occassion of this world.
"What occassion are we marking? I am still growing accustomed to the many celebrations you have in this land. I must confess, I do not have anything for you. My apologies if I have forgotten something important."
Emma shook her head with a smile. "You haven't forgotten anything. This is a thank you gift, Killian."
"A thank you gift?"
Emma nodded. "Yes, for everything you have done for me, for my family, and for Storybrooke. Henry and I wouldn't even be here right now if it weren't for you coming to get us in New York. But to do that you had to give up your prized possession. I can't get that back for you, but I wanted to give you something to show my appreciation and to let you know just how happy I am to have you in my life."
Hook smiled, but shook his head dismissively. "That is very thoughtful, but unnecessary. I only did what was right." He paused for a moment, his voice lowering, "And, if I'm being completely truthful, it wasn't an entirely selfless act."
Emma smiled. "Oh really?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "What can I say? I missed you, Swan. That was the worst year of my very long life. I know you didn't remember me, but when I told you that a day wouldn't pass when I wouldn't think of you, I meant it. I thought of you everyday. In fact, I could think of little else."
She tilted her head to the side. "You mean in between all of the women you brought back to your ship, I assume."
Hook's expression grew serious and he leaned forward, nearly closing the space between them. "There were no other women, Emma."
"Come on, Killian. You can't expect me to believe that you were celibate for a whole year."
He bobbed his head. "It's the truth. When I returned to the Enchanted Forest after the curse, I quickly realized that there was nothing there for me. So I set off to find my ship. I did and tried to return to the life I knew before, to the man I was before you. But I soon realized there was no going back. I couldn't stop thinking about you. Smee and my mates could see that I wasn't myself. So nearly every night they would pay some wench to go back with me to my ship. I'd walk her outside and pay her a little more to tell my mates what a grand time she had. Then I'd go back to my ship alone."
Emma shook her head. "Wow. You never cease to surprise me."
Hook grinned. "And I hope I never do." He paused and then waved his hook at the gift. "But I cannot accept the gift."
Emma sighed in frustration. "Can't a girl give her boyfriend a gift without him making a big deal about it?"
Hook lifted an eyebrow. "Boyfriend?"
Emma dropped her gaze and shifted her feet uncomfortably. "Um...well...yeah. Unless that's not what you want."
Hook stepped closer to her and pulled her into his arms, the package the only thing between them.
"There is nothing I desire more, love," he replied, before placing a searing kiss to her lips.
Emma wrapped her arms around his neck, nearly dropping the package in the process. She finally pulled back and forced herself to step far enough away from him so she could again hold the package out to him.
"Okay, well, I can't return this, so you might as well just accept it."
Hook licked at his lips, as he took the package from her. "I honestly can't remember the last time someone gave me a gift."
"Didn't you ever get gifts for your birthday?"
"As a lad, yes. When you've lived as long as I have though, you stop celebrating birthdays."
Emma smiled sadly. "Well, maybe this can make up for that a little bit."
Hook moved to the couch and sat down. Emma followed and took her place beside him. He placed the package on the table and tore through the wrapping with his hook, revealing a silver box. He could feel Emma's eyes on him as he lifted the top off of it. Nestled inside atop tissue paper was a wooden replica of the Jolly Roger.
Hook's mouth dropped open in shock, as he carefully lifted it out of the box to admire it.
Emma bit at her lower lip nervously. "Do you like it? I had Geppetto carve it for you."
He nodded his head, unable to remove his gaze from the ship and its amazing craftsmanship. "I can't believe you did this. It's incredible." He turned and met her eyes, his voice softening. "You're incredible."
Emma smiled, as he leaned forward and placed a kiss to her lips. When they parted, her smile quickly reappeared. "I'm glad you like it. I know it pales in comparison to the real thing, but I thought it could serve as a reminder of the special times you spent on it, especially with your brother."
Hook felt his throat tighten with emotion. "No one's ever given me anything like this before, Emma. Thank you."
"You're welcome," she replied, beaming ear to ear. "Where are you going to put it?"
Hook surveyed the small room he had above Granny's. He stood up, with Emma following, and walked to the bedroom. He moved to the nightstand and placed it on top.
"I think I'll keep it here."
"Why?" Emma asked, genuinely curious. She thought most people would choose to display it on a shelf or mantel.
"So that every morning when I wake and every night before I go to sleep, I'll look at it and think of you."
Emma smiled, as he placed his arm around her shoulder and dropped a kiss to her temple. "I think that's the perfect spot for it then."
He nodded. "Emma, we've both endured difficult beginnings and most of it we had to face alone. But now we can have a new beginning together. Whatever comes our way, good or bad, we can get through it together."
Emma looked up at him and smiled. "I really like the sound of that."
...
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought! ~Steph