AN: I got inspired to do this after beating the Spirit Temple on OoT: Master Quest today. The witch battle was my favourite boss battle (even better than Volvagia's…in my opinion, of course) so yeah. Here's the oneshot. Yes, an oneshot. I've never done one of these in awhile, eh?

Summary: Oneshot. The 'in-depth' tale on Link's journey through the Haunted Wasteland and his struggle against the harsh sands of the desert. Link's POV.

Disclaimer: I do not own LoZ. I do however; own any changes I make to the dialogue, description of things…etc.

EDIT: I'm dumb. No, i'm worse than dumb. Some little possessed demon made me forget to describe a few details about the desert being too hot. Even though that's painfully obvious, I couldn't help but feel like a complete dumbass when I realized that this morning. Most likely you guys won't be notified of the update, but whatever. That's life.

More humour this time around, too. See if you can spot it.

Oh. I also made this update to fix a mistake that I made. Something about mentioning the gates after one another? Whatever. I forget who mentioned that, but thanks. Give me a heads up so I could credit you properly (as if you would care to randomly PM me, huh?) XD

Sorry if the spelling royally sucks, too. I didn't edit this in Word, just on the uploading documents thingy (for a lack of a better...er...term) Yeah. I'm like that. Have fun.

Desert Storm

"You are free to continue on, but remember this. You can't cross the desert unless you pass the two trials. The first trial is the River of Sand, which you cannot walk across."

A pause came from the Gerudo, waiting for my expression of fear. I kept my face emotionless though, and I could have sworn she narrowed her eyes and muttered out an oath before continuing, "After you cross it, follow the flags we placed there. The second trial is the Phantom Guide. Those without eyes that can see the truth will only find themselves lost in the whipping sands forever until their eventual death."

I blinked, not at all fazed by the guard's attempt to scare me. It could be a lot worse, I suppose. Well kid, let's see how good you really are at this stuff.

I shook myself out of my thoughts and only smirked at the nameless guard, who huffed in reply, "Fine then. I can't stop you if you really want to get yourself killed out there…" she muttered something under her breath that I couldn't quite catch before putting her fingers to her lips successfully making a high-pitched whistle. I winced at the sound, but didn't cover my ears. I have heard a lot worse then that. Such as that one time seven years ago with a certain cucoo...but I won't go into that.

The other two skimpy dressed women warriors below starting to raise up the gate by a series of ropes and pulleys.

Wow. I knew it was hot in the desert...but wow. This is just...argh! I shook my head to get rid of the useless thoughts floating up in my head, and before I could complain about the heat anymore, I climbed down the ladder and confidently walked out into the shifting sands. Atleast, I hoped it looked confident.

A blast of sand greeted my face as soon as I stepped onto the sandy terrain. I shut my eyes tightly and put a hand out in front of me to prevent any more sand from going into my eyes. I blinked back the tears from my watering eyes as each grain pelted my eyeballs, making it almost impossible to see.

After what seemed like hours of walking, I came upon some quicksand, which I accidently stepped into. I carefully yanked my foot out so that I wouldn't get sucked in completely and surveyed my surroundings.

Well, the sand isn't trying to blast my face off anymore…so that much is good. I chuckled at this line of thought before focusing on the task at hand.

Stretching across to both sides of the horizon was a river of quicksand. I squinted to see into the distance, and sure enough…there were wooden crates in the middle of two flagpoles. I laughed quietly to myself, thinking how this would be so easy.

I unlatched the hookshot from the right side of my green tunic's belt and aimed at the crate. I pressed the trigger on the bottom of the device, causing the chain to rip through the air towards the target as if a rabid animal was chasing it. I felt the thud of the end of the chain embedding itself into the crate and I let go of the trigger, all the while bracing myself for the quick flight.

As was to be expected, the hookshot reversed its gears whipping me towards the crate. I landed on my feet but stumbled a little bit when the sand gave underneath my boots. I still wasn't used to that thing, and I doubted that I ever would get used to it.

Okay, the River of Sand is done for. The next one is the 'Phantom Guide' I wonder what that-

"Listen! The Phantom Guide that the guard was talking about…that sounds like a Poe, does it not?"

I rolled my eyes at my fairy partner, Navi, before responding in an annoyed tone. "Yes, Navi. I got that much out of the clue, I just don't know what to do…. next"

I trailed off when I caught sight of a red flag in the distance before it disappeared by another sand-filled gust.

"Navi…was that just a flagpole over there?" I pointed in the direction where I thought I saw a flag flapping in the wind. Navi's glow seemed to brighten a bit, "Yes…I think it was. It would be a good idea to put on the truth seeing lens that you got from the bottom of that well…" she trailed off when she saw the mixture of horror and annoyance on my features.

"ButNavi!" I whined, "I hate wearing that thing! It makes my eye hurt!"

Navi's glow gradually turned a crimson red, "Link, don't be an idiot. Just switch eyes so that the other one can hurt too!"

I scowled playfully at her, and reluctantly put on the Lens of Truth onto my left eye. Navi's 'words of wisdom' didn't exactly work in the Shadow Temple, where I did that in the middle of a dark room. It was a stupid action, I know…but my right eye felt like it was on fire. An interesting encounter with an invisible wallmaster showed me to never listen to Navi's advice again unless it was against Ganondorf.

I slammed my other eye shut, because I didn't really need it right now. Purple instantly went around my vision, and I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

Let's just get this over with…

I turned my gaze towards the flag, only to find that it was in full view. I raised an eyebrow slightly at this, but it didn't really surprise me.

---

I continued this for quite sometime until I finally arrived to a small stone structure. I stared at it, "Navi…this can't be the spirit temple, can it?"

Navi groaned from inside my hat and practically screamed at me, "No, you idiot! This, I believe, is the second trial! The spirit temple should be after this!"

I felt my face heat up, ignoring the ringing in my ears, in embarrassment. I knew that…

I climbed the weird structure, to find a spinning Poe. It grinned at me and spoke in a raspy voice, "I'll be your guide on your way, but coming back, I won't play! I'll show you the only way to go, so follow me and don't be slow!"

I blinked a few times. Wow…I didn't know that Poes could be poetic.

"LINK! Hurry up! We're going to lose him!"

I sighed and ran after the phantom through the harsh whipping sands of the desert.

---

The Eye of Din had long set by the time I spotted two more flags in the distance. The Poe suddenly changed direction dramatically while cackling about something or other, and I was about to follow him before I stopping myself. He said that 'coming back he wouldn't play' so I'm guessing this is the part that he tries to trick me?

Ignoring Navi's cries of 'hurry up and rescue the final sage' and the other useless blabber that my fairy partner throws my way almost all of the time, I sprinted towards the flags where I assumed the Spirit Temple was.

When I arrived at our destination, immediately a bunch of green monsters sprung at me and tried to run into me. Navi had explained to me that they were called Leevers, but I still preferred to call them 'the green monsters'

---

After I had gotten a defense spell dubbed Nayru's Love from a Great Fairy, I sprinted towards the platform leading to the entrance to the Spirit Temple, evading the green monsters along the way. I skidded to a stop when I came upon the brown clay platform and took a deep breath, mentally and physically preparing myself for the final temple before I faced off against Ganondorf for all of Hyrule.

And for Princess Zelda…

AN: Ha ha! And there's an oneshot for you guys. Think of this as a random early Christmas present. Yes, I added a pairing reference right at the end, and yes…Link and Navi fight a lot.

I was originally going to put the Twinrova battle in here too…but decided not to. My reasons are for my own brain to contemplate over. .

Review, please! .