50 things a Hogwarts student should not do.

Dress up as You-know-Who for Halloween.

Claim they have a Dalek patronus.

Claim they are a Dalek animagus.

Claim they have a pet Dalek.

Give Professor Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.

Draw dark Marks on sleeping students arms.

Call the Ghostbusters on the ghosts.

Or Peeves.

Ask the Giant Squid to the ball.

10. Assassinate the DADA teacher so it's done and dusted.

11. Simply write '42' on every hard exam question.

12. Call Professor Flitwick 'Yoda'.

13. Sing 'The Badger Song' at Hufflepuff matches.

14. Refer to Hannah Abbot, Justin Flinch-Flenchy and Susan Bones as Blossom, Buttercup and Bubbles.

15. Pose naked for Colin Creevey.

16. Pose naked for Dean Thomas.

17. Ask Harry if his 'Voldy senses' are tingling.

18. Attempt to start Naked Thursdays in the Common room.

19. Announce an official 'Hug a Slytherin' day.

20. Tell Sir Cadogan you are one of the knights who say 'Ni'.

21. Use socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin serpent.

22. Play snooker with one's wand.

23. Tell first years to build their tree house in the Whomping Willow.

24. Pretend to be the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

25. Ask Professor Lupin if it's 'his time of the month'.

26. Make lightsaber sounds when casting a spell.

27. Call Professor Dumbledore 'My Liege.'

28. Or 'Jesus.'

29. Greet Professor Sprout with 'Attack of the killer Tomatoes'.

30. Set an angry dragon at the Whomping Willow.
31. Force Professor Dumbledore to reveal his true age.

32. Snicker evilly every time the Chamber of Secrets is mentioned.

33. Claim they are a Jedi.

34. Claim they are a Time Lord.

35. Tell the Ravenclaws the library is closed forever.

36. Scream 'GEEK!' every time they see Miss Granger.

37. Grow magic mushrooms for 'extra credit' in Herbology

38. Rewrite library book with the 'Accio' charm nicknamed 'The Force'.

39. Claim the X files tapes are Auror Training videos.

40. Claim they are a member of the Spanish Inquisition.

41. Introduce Hagrid to Pokémon.

42. Yell 'BURN!' every time Professor Snape docks points from Gryffindor.

43. Start food fights in the Great Hall.

44. Bring fortune cookies to Divination, just to scare Professor Trelawney.

45. Sign exams 'Dark Lord Happy Pants'.

46. Draw moustaches on Professor Lockhart's portraits.

47. Use Umbridge's pen to write 'hardcore' messages.

48. Lick Trevor.

49. Attempt to sign a peace treaty with Voldemort.

50. Try and sell 'Gryffindor Courage'. We all know it's Firewhiskey.