Chapter One

He was late, as always.

He just had to be... You'd know what I meant if you'd actually meet the guy.

Who is this mysterious He?

Well it's my older brother Nathan. He's not that much older than me, just a year and a couple months. We don't look that much alike, except for maybe our eyes. Chocolate brown eyes, they run in both sides of the family. Mum has them and so does dad.

Nathan is the stereotypical type of a surfer guy. He has the whole hairdo that is outgrown to his chin; it's wavy and is a light shade of brown. His facial features are baby like, something that he definitely hates even though the girls swoon over him when he's out. Although my brother goes to the gym and plays sports and also does a lot of physical activities with me, he just can't get the muscles he wants. He's lanky and is trying so hard to not be.

My brother is my best friend.

I guess the reason why I'm so close to Nathan is because well, I'm trying to get close to him before something happens, before everything is gone. I choose Nathan over everyone else including my mother and father and little brother Alex because, I know deep, deep down in my heart that he'll always be there.

But it's moments like these I doubt that.

Nathan knew I had my secret hiding places when mum and dad used to fight, not that they actually did but that's another story to tell you. So, I used to go to places in our home area nobody else knew about, well not that I actually knew anybody else who knew of them.

My places were fantastic, they had the best view, they got the best breeze in the summer and it was the best place to just sit down and relax after all of the hard times. I even created one of those swings made of an old wheel at one of them; actually all of my places have one of them.

And then Nathan just has to come along one day and ruin my oasis and starts to set times and starts to ask where my other places are. I could have not told him, but the seven year old in me knew I had to tell him or else I would be threatened with Nathan telling my parents which would make their matters worse. But I should have known better than to try and save a relationship that was going to end in to a bad landing because of the bad and good things.

But seriously, we've been meeting up in different places every before mum and dad split up. How can you ever forget a thing that has been going on for about 8 years now? Wouldn't you know it off by heart? I mean it wasn't my idea to begin all these meetings with him, we only started because of the split and because Nathan wanted an excuse to be outside the house all the time.

I glanced at my clock. 3:45pm.

He should have been here already, I mean I was only late by like 25 minutes and that's only because the bus was late and I even messaged him to tell him that I was late and so if he blames everything on me then I will unleash everything that is inside of me this very moment.

The only reason I had gotten here so late was because Mr Nobit- my science teacher- had kept me on detention because I had been "distracted" by a book, when in fact I was only reading it because I ,unlike everyone else, had finished the work that was on the board. The other reason for the detention was that I had answered him back when he had said things to me and so he kept me on an extra 5 minutes.

Detention was one of the worst things in my life. I only ever got them from him and so it was only one of the things that were making me feel bad. Besides that though there are other things, other things which I don't quite understand just now and wish I did so these bad feelings will go away.

A twig breaks behind me. I turn to check who or what wants to wreck my unhappy thoughts at this time and find Alex. He holds up his hand and waves, our greeting. I almost smile but the things next to me catch my attention.

Bags. Three bags to be precise and they weren't empty; they were bulging as if he had packed a hundred rocks into each bag. They were the bags that he'd used when he'd moved in with dad, when he couldn't take what mum was doing to us.

Something inside me squealed as it remembered all of those horrible memories. All of the memories of which was one of the reasons why we had to meet up like this.

I turn my back and walked over to the tree that held up one of the swings and leaned against it. My fingers brushed against the hard bark as I brought my hand down along the tree, I turned to face the tree and started to talk, "Why are you late?"

I could feel his unease as he answered, "I came here and waited for about a minute or so before you messaged me and so I thought I could go home and get ready and then come back," I heard him exhale as he got ready to start to say something again. "Jazz, I know this is coming as a bad time and all but I need to leave in about 10minutes, so we need to hurry up and say our goodbyes."

I sucked in a deep breath and bit the side of my cheek to prevent the tears I knew would come out and faced him. "Goodbye? You mean that's why you have these bags, so that you can leave?" Then the realisation hit me. "Is that why you dared me to pick up those bloody flowers that you bought for mum? So that it can be some "goodbye" present? Is that why you made me plan something with my friends, so that I'd be occupied while you're gone? You're not even meant to be going this year, you told me you'd go next year. Why, what's happening?"

"Nothing, nothing's happening and that's the thing," his words came out as a whisper and I suddenly knew how much it hurt him to actually leave.

But that didn't help make it easier for me, it just made me feel angrier and made my stomach hurt even more. "Nothing, is that what you call it? Huh, wow I never knew that family, a girlfriend or friends were nothing. On top of that I can't believe that you have nothing in your life. Any excuse, anything that will allow you to go into the real world."

"Jazz you know what I mean; you just don't want me to go. I'm your brother and your best friend, but for once just act like I'm your brother. Act like you don't care for once, even though you do," he started to walk towards me and when he did he put his arms around me, which was not allowed in our meetings and I smiled one of those smiles that made you want to cry even more then you already were. "It's not about you, it's not about the world, it's about me for once. I want you to know that it doesn't matter, I'm only going to be gone for a couple months and by the time I come back it's going to feel like I'd only been gone for a week."

I nodded, even though I knew that everything that he was reassuring me about wasn't going to make a difference to what I'm to be feeling or to what might happen when he's gone. It just won't feel... how it's meant to.

As if reading my mind he looks up at me and says, "Yeah I know it might not be the same without me here in person but know that I'm right inside here," and pokes me where my heart is and starts tickling me, until I plead with him to stop.

We stand about a metre away when he stops, each of us glancing at each other, not wanting to do anything with our goodbye because we know that we both hate saying goodbye to things that we've known for our whole lives.

He looks down at his watch and I glance away at the swing. When I look back, he's looking at me with one of those I-need-to-go looks. "We've broken a serious rule today and I think I might be breaking one more by giving you another dare, but I think by the end you'll kind of you... know owe me so it won't be breaking the rule after all."

I try hard not to smile about the 'serious' rules that have been broken, and master up enough courage to look as if nothing he's said these past minutes have hurt me. "What is it?"

"Do something that you've never done before."

"Done, deal," I say, as if it isn't as hard as it would be for me.

He looks up at the sun and says,"I hope you're not going to miss me."

Not wanting to break anymore of our rules he backs up about a metre away and waves. I watch him as he picks up his bags, wondering how he can carry that much weight, and when I blink my eyelids he's gone straight away.

I imagine the way he had looked when we were speaking, I hadn't noticed much, but it was as if I had been looking at my father. Nathan being identical to my father was one thing but he looked exactly how my father had when he had left.

I imagine the way he appeared to me when we were speaking and I got a feeling of past memories. It was of that memory how my father looked when he was at the front door of our old family home, saying his goodbyes to Nathan, Alex and me. Though, I knew that my father leaving wasn't that much of an issue, Nathan's was. My father had been kicked out by my mother for all the wrong reasons, but Nathan hadn't been kicked out of by anyone. He had been kicked out by himself because there was nothing in his life. There's was not one thing that would allow him to actually want to live a life where there was nothing.

Chapter two

As soon as I walked into the house, I was engulfed with the smell of sickness, sickness for the whole entire house and all of those who were in it.

I hate coming home. It's not that I hated being locked up inside of it, because believe me I could stay inside for all of eternity and not want to be anywhere else. It's the things that were in it that made me loath the upcoming events when I arrived. It's as if when I come home something inside of me just wants to scream and run as fast as hell back to school or some other place that's isn't home. Those types of feelings added up to the hatred I already felt and sometimes I can't actually take it and maybe that's why I have my secret places.

Turning my head I looked into the lounge room to see if my little brother was there by any chance. Sure enough he was. He sat there on one of the leather sofas, controller for his Xbox 360 in hand and eyes focused intently on the television screen.

Unlike Nathan, Alex didn't look like my father, though he did have the chocolate brown eyes that ran through both sides of the family. He looked like our mother, but male. No matter what we were always stuck together because we lived with each other and went to the same school together. We were always stuck with the stupid remarks of 'how much we looked alike'.

It makes my brain hurt when I think of how much we mirrored each other's features; our chocolate brown eyes, our olive skin and our dark brown hair. There were many differences though, between Alex and myself. Alex is part of the 'in' crowd. He does anything and almost everything with his friends. He's in the good books with the girls and also the teachers at school. Alex is the picture perfect guy with everything going his way, I'm just waiting in the crowd until everything comes tumbling down in his world and he comes running to me for shelter.

Me, well I'm not the spitting image of my brother. I guess after people actually start to communicate with us that they'd find that we're quite... different. I guess it's the fact that maybe we're meant to be different; Alex, the perfect child and me the not so perfect child. Maybe that's why I get along with Nathan so much, because I actually feel as if I'm an equal with him.

My stomach almost swirls when I start to think about Nathan. My best friend; my older brother has left.

I wonder how I'm actually deal with that.

My brother: gone.

My best friend: gone.

It's bad enough that I know someone else is actually going to join him next, but that someone will actually never come back; never step foot on this earth. It's bad enough that I was separated from him because of our parents. It's bad enough that we didn't even attend the same school. It's bad enough that maybe the only person that I can tell almost anything and everything to is... gone.

Shaking my head, I dropped my school bag and walked into the lounge room where Alex was and asked, "Where's mum?"

After putting his game on pause he looks at me with one of those annoyed looks and answers with a smart arse comment, "She's outside in the garden playing with the pixies."

I give him the finger and call out to my mother.

She pops her head into the lounge room and has one of her fresh smiles on, "Hello sweetheart."

Sweetheart, in my head the word comes out as a curse; words to make me feel. It just makes it worse by the fact that the dark circles under her eyes make her look as if she hasn't gotten sleep for the past decade or so. Her skin is chalky, her lips a pale olive. She wears one of her floral scarfs around her head. It's a deep orange and it adds more colour to her. I almost smile, but I think too much about what lurks beneath the floral scarf.

These small things that I notice about her change how I think of her. She used to be my angel; my saviour. She used to be a goddess; one of the most gorgeous women in my life. Her luscious dark brown hair suited the chocolate brown of her eyes. I was always envious of the way that she could make herself look and how she could make others feel. Her voice in mind was like low soothing notes from a piper's pipe; not that has really changed. Love was her excellence. Her name was Ariael. She had made me smile every single day when I was a child, well that was until that thing came.

Ariael has a mind like a fortune teller, though in truth she can't tell anybody's fortune but hers.

She tells us that she knew she would have Nathan, Alex and myself as children and she knew that she would marry a guy with the name Mark; my father. She knew that she would love Mark through and through as if they were joined by multiple strings. She believed that she would one day have to give up his love for a thing that would ruin hers, her children's and everybody else's life.

The thing, Connie is what she named her 'friend', although doctors had another name, Cancer and I called it Hell. Hell because of what it put me through and Hell because of what it was doing to her.

True to the fact that yes she did go and have her weekly and monthly checkups and those itty-bitty surgeries that I'd rather not get into, Hell just kept on deciding to come back every year over and over again; greater and grander.

I looked back up to her to meet her and Hell square in face and said, "Hi, sorry I'm late, had a detention and the bus left when I was coming out and so I had to wait an extra half an hour before it came and then there's the pain in the ass here who I didn't want to see."

Ariael quickly assumes that the 'pain in the ass' is Alex and doesn't even have a clue that I'm actually speaking about Hell. "Jasmine, that is no way to talk about your brother and I already know about the detention. Mr. Nobit called me and told me about you being an interruption in his class and informed me about your detention."

I almost roll my eyes at her, but notice that it's not her speaking; it's Hell. "Why do you even listen to that guy?" I ask, walking over to the leather sofa that Alex sits on and plummet myself into the seat, sinking deeply into the chair as my muscles and bones relax underneath the soft cushions.

"Maybe because he's the only one that informs me about your detentions," she answers swiftly with low soothing notes. "I'm only worried Jazz and I would be less worried if you'd call me to tell me about these types of things. So just keep in mind that you have a mother at home okay?"

I nod and almost have the urge to run into her arms and smell and take away all of her sickness away from her. Almost. Getting up out of the soft leather sofa, I started to walk outside towards the backyard, where my beloved dog Massie waited for me.

"Dinner will be ready in half an hour," I hear the words pass through me on the wind as I walk out of the room, to the kitchen and out the sliding door.

"Massie," I call, but before I even get half of her name out she's up and bolting towards me. "Sit," I command, giving her a little pat when she does.

Massie is another of those rare things in my life; something special. She's a golden retriever, with golden brown fur and an unforgettable patch of white behind her right ear. Massie is a big dog, reaching up to my waist when I stand; which was saying much 'cause I'm almost six foot tall. She's a replacement for the sister that I've never had before.

"Hungry?" I ask and she obediently starts to sniff my school clothes; as if food is actually hidden there. I take that as a yes and walk over to the back fence where we keep the hose and also her water and food bowls and fill both of them up.

Sometimes I can mistake her for a pig because of the way that she eats her food and because of how regularly she has to actually be fed. Those thoughts are easily blown away by how much I love and cherish her.

"Hey Jazz," says a voice. I stop pouring Massie's food and place it down on the floor. Looking around, I search the backyard until I spot the speaker and almost jump out of my skin when I see Anna, the girl from next door, sitting on top of her side of the fence, as if it's the most natural thing in the world, smiling down at me. I manage a nod and her smile grows broader, as if she knows that she's caught me by surprise. "Is Alex home?"

Anna, unlike any other girl, is not in love with my brother, but is actually one of his closest friends. Maybe it's due to the fact that Anna is not yet in touch with her girly side or maybe because she isn't like other teenage girls and can actually have a relationship with a boy without having feelings for him.

Unlike my brother though, Anna has this kind of edginess to her; a wild thing. She has crazy red-orange curls, that are almost all the time without frizz and looks a bit weird sometimes when she smiles. Although I've never actually asked her, I know for a fact that her hair is not red-orange because she dies it practically every three months and due to the fact that her whole family has blonde hair. Blue-cat-like eyes made her look just a bit more weird, but they were actually quite cool. Her nose was small and angular fitting smoothly with her cat-like features. Her lips were like a rose, red, small and pouty. Her skin was a nice shade of a pale white. In my words she was a mixed up version of beautiful, maybe that's why Alex had a massive crush on her.

"Yeah," I answer with a smile on my lips, "He's on that thing you got him into."

She stood up on the fence, got ready to jump off it and wit a light thud she landed on the ground on her two feet. "Huh," she says a sly smile on her lips, "I guess I may go and freak the hell out of him then. Do you know if any of the other guys are going out later?"

"No idea," I answer, "Unlike you I ignore my brother, which allows me many ways to get out of the way of his crap and away from the thirteen and fourteens that you both hang around."

"You'll have to eventually be his friend you know that, don't you?"

I'm about to ask her why, but she quickly shuffles into the house before I can even form the words on my lips.

The girl is full of mysteries, I think to myself. I stare off into the distance at the willow trees and different colours of roses and other types of flowers that I can't put a name to, that make up my backyard. This flora that surrounds me, something that my Ariael has planted during her spare time and also something that I know will never be gone as much as I want it to be. I think I get sucked into the smell of the flowers and willow trees as I think of them and thank god for Massie's whining or else I wouldn't have been able to snap out of it.

"Okay, okay," I whine back at right back at her but smile as I do so.

*****INSERT SYMBOL FOR A BREAK*****

"Make sure you guys are up early tomorrow," Ariael says as we begin to eat.

Our table is quite filled today with three of Alex's friends, including little Anna. They look as if they're at home and I don't blame them because they're here almost every hour after school.

I pick with the food on my plate, wondering if dad knows yet that Nathan is gone and if he doesn't maybe I'll be bombarded with questions about him and forced to answer them. "Why is he even picking us up tomorrow," I ask.

Every Tuesday, my dad picks us up to check up on how we're going at school. When I say check up, I mean check with every teacher on how we're doing and what we're doing in class and if we've been completing all the homework and assignments assigned to us. Though, as Alex is the perfect child he doesn't really get into trouble from any of the teachers; they gave him excellent comments on how 'well behaved' he is in class.

Oh, how it sickens me that he always gets praised for his behaviour, whilst I have to knocked by every single teacher I have, because I finish my work earlier than everyone or because I never participate in any class discussions or to the fact that I hate being sat next to anyone other than an empty chair and my art book or just a good novel.

"It's Thursday tomorrow, I have an appointment and I need my sleep to get good results," she answers as if there is no other answer and there practically isn't because everybody at this table was aware of the fact about Ariael. I was going to point out to her that sleep didn't really help with sickness but I didn't want to look like a dickhead in front of everyone at the table.

I look down at my food instead and keep on playing with the mashed potatoes and broccoli on my plate. Sighing I stand up and say, "I'm finished thanks," before I can try to mess up anything else up.

"But you're not finished," Arial says as I pick up my plate and walk to the kitchen.

"I made food today in home economics," I lie and I know she can tell by the frown that gets plastered on her face and replaces the easy-going smile.

I scrap my full plate into the bin and begin to walk upstairs when Anna grabs my arm and leans into my ear and whispers, "You know he's waiting right now at the park don't you?"

Nathan, I instantly think and smile at her and run upstairs to my room and get changed.

When I get back down my hair is brushed into its normal mess, I'm wearing my favourite pair of jeans that curve in all the right places, a long black tank top and a pair of blue converse sneakers. I open the front door and call out, "I'm going out."

I wish I had bothered to actually ask Anna where Nathan was going to meet me, but I had a sense that it was the place where most of our meetings were held after school, in other words the place where I met him this morning. Though, when I arrived there I had a feeling that maybe he wasn't going to be there because usually when it was after dinner he'd already be there.

So I waited for him.

I sat backwards on the swing, swinging my legs back and forth to make myself go higher and higher. The scene was a blur as I swung on the swing; but I knew the place off by heart.

Across from this tree where the tire was hung, were a couple of yellow daisies. There was about 3 dozens of them, each a symbol of mine and Nathans initials, around it were 5 rocks. Each rock symbolised: Nathan, Mum, Dad, Alex and I. Keeping us as rocks meant that we were weighed down by gravity so that we stayed together as one; as a family. Across from this, planted by Nathan, were a couple orange trees, planted only due to the fact that I loved oranges. There were about six other trees, that had already been there, that were good for blocking out the sun and at warning me of any unwanted guests; at least that's what I thought.

"I didn't think you'd actually show up," a voice that wasn't my brothers said behind me. I turned around and came face to face with one of boys I recognised from my school, another student in my year grade. He was cute, that's all I can say. I didn't dare look at anything but his eyes as I stared him down and questioned him with my eyes. He took a step back and I took this as a sign that he was a bit frightened, but then he done something that Nathan and I only know; he waved our greeting. "I'm one of the replacements."

"A replacement for what exactly?" I demanded.

"His replacements for these meetings of course, didn't he tell you anything? Though actually he did warn me about telling you any of the, damn how could I even do such a thing," he said sarcastically, frowning like an idiot trying to make me smile.

"You're one of the replacements, right? Who else is a replacement?" I asked, not giving in to the smiling until all my questions were answered.

"Well, you'll eventually find out if you keep on meeting either of us replacements every time we ask of you to come here, or the other places." He starts to smirk and I'm so tempted to punch it off his face but as if sensing my anger he puts on a serious expression and says, "We were well informed about everything that happens here and what we're meant to do and not to do and about every place you and Nathan meet up in."

If he thought for one second or more that anyone other than my brother could know about my secret hiding places he was proved wrong when my fist met his face. "Do something you're not meant to," I mutter under my breath as I walk up to one of the trees and sit against its trunk.

I watch him from the ground as he puts his hand up to his face and as if taking orders from someone, he sits down on the ground also, "Do something you've never done before," he says, malice clear in his voice. "That was definitely not something you haven't done before and I can call up the girl you done that to in year 5 right now to prove you wrong. But that's not the point. The point is that you haven't even begun to realise what this means yet."

"Then tell me Mr. Mysterious," I say with a note of high sarcasm in my voice.

He looks up at me with a twinkle in his eye, "Trust me," he says, "If I knew maybe I'd actually tell you."

Feeling the set of weight of a guy I barely even knew I looked up to meet his eyes with my own look of pure astonishment. I've seen these eyes before, I think to myself as I stare down into the deep set of blue eyes. I study his features as I undertake a case of my past memories, trying to figure where in the world I have seen him.

His jaw was nice and muscular, a beam of blonde stubble decorating it. Straight, white teeth sat inside his small mouth. A light shade of pink on his lips suited with his white skin. His hair was cropped back making the main focus his deep blue eyes. Small muscles could be noticed under his green long sleeves, I got the point that he was some kind of an athlete.

Maybe I've met him at one of my competitions, I told myself as I store down questioningly at my shoes.

It was most likely that I hadn't met him at any of my competition. When I'm competing no one exists in my mind but me and winning the race. I'll only notice maybe the other shadows behind me as I run as fast as I can on the fields.

Instead of waiting here for an hour or eternity trying to figure out where I've met him before, I ask him straightforwardly, "Have I met you before?"

He smiles at me, "Now that is also a thing that I'm not allowed to tell you."

"Then if you can't tell me that at least tell me your bloody name!" I exclaim, getting frustrated about how mysterious he was being with me. For all that I know he probably done this for a living. Though, I knew for some reason I doubted that he was doing this as his regular routine. No, I could tell by the way that he smiled when he gave me one of those mysterious answers; Nathan put him up to this.

"Sam, no last name needed. You don't really need to know it and it's not that I'm not allowed to tell you that; it's just that I don't want you to know," he said, lifting one of his eyebrows up, making me smile and forget almost for a while what he had just said.

"So Sam," I said getting back to business, "What is it that you're meant to do by being one of Nathan's replacements?"

"To check that you are actually pursing and completing your dare," he said composing himself and ruffling his hair with his hand.

"Hmm, fair enough," I murmured and then said the most unthinkable, which set both of us going into different levels of embarrassment and awkwardness. "Do you feel like joining me for a coffee or something right now?" Once those words were out of my mouth I knew they would be regretted once I got a poison filled refusal. Seriously, we barely knew each other and the last thing I wanted to do was get close to someone that was eventually going to leave me. This guy, Sam- what kind of name is that? - is meant to be one of my brothers replacements. Therefore that meant that he was going to be a set of his ears and eyes, which meant he would be keeping a close eye on me. To which I say why in the world would I-

"Yes," he said interrupting my thoughts.

"No that's totally fine its oh-kay, WHAT?" The last end of my sentence almost came out as a scream as I fully registered his words.

"Yes," he said giving me the slightest look of annoyance as he repeated his answer.

"What? Why?" I asked getting embarrassed and feeling slightly rude for questioning his answer. "I mean, don't worry of course you can come. Why the hell can't you, I mean Nathan and I used to do these things occasionally. So as his replacement why can't you?"

I think my face told a different story compared to the last sentence I had spoken and he could tell, he ignored it and said, "Well are we catching a bus or walking to the nearest Gloria Jeans?"

"Where's the nearest Gloria Jeans?" Iasked being pretty sure that I knew for sure that there was one around the corner because I went there at least once a week.

As if reading my mind he replied with, "I'm pretty sure there's one around the corner."

I smiled and asked the obvious, "So I take it that we're walking?"

"Damn right we are!" he said enthusiastically and then answered my question from earlier, "You should be good at that, since you're an athlete and all."

Chapter Three

"I knew it!"

"Knew what?" he asked.

I looked at him, "I've seen you before in a race, long-distance 500 metres right? You win them like every time, but this year when they mixed the girls with the guys, I won."

He frowned but his eyes gave him away as he lied away, "You must have me mistaken with my twin brother, Daniel. He's a far better distance runner than I am."

Far better distance runner than I am, Liar!

"Has Nathaniel taught you my number one thing on my hate list?"

"Uh no, not that I know of, the only thing that he told me was-"

I interrupted him. "My number one thing on my hate list is when people lie to me. Do you know what number two is?" I asked, sounding like I was talking to three year old child. He shook his head. "I hate it when people make me wait to have coffee! Come on," I said and took his hand and made him jog towards the nearest Gloria Jeans cafe.

I let go of his hand by the time we were around the second tree and pushed myself to a run as I reached the third tree. He ran by my side and proved his explanation to be a bigger lie as we reached the sidewalk of the street towards our destination and I started to sprint.

Only a few steps behind me, I turned my head and smiled a smile with pure delight as I got the feel of winning a race against one of the state's best runners. I turned my head back to the front before I could smash into a pole or get some kind of injury for not paying any attention to where I was going. He grunted as he realised he was losing yet again to me and increased his speed, but as he did this I stopped.

I looked behind me at a couple of people at a bus stop who were observing our little race and I just shook my head.

When I run it's me and my feet running at the speed of light. I don't like to notice distractions like people observing me or even the other competitors, which Nathan finds is absolutely horrible because if you don't know who's behind you, then how the hell are you meant to win?

Keeping your mind at peace with the track and not on little things like people or the scenery, is what I'd always reply with.

The observants stare at me as I look at them. I look at the ground and notice a shadow slowly walking towards me. Dare not notice anything sweetheart, I hear the words like a distant whisper in my mind as pull myself together and almost kick myself to not begin to cry.

A person places their hand on my shoulder and manages a whisper, "Jazz," and then clears his voice and says, "Listen I don't want to commit number two on your hate list by keeping you away from your coffee, now can we walk towards the cafe before I commit it and then so god help me if I become part of that list I will create my list and you'll be number one on it."

I turned around and say, "Sweet, no one's ever told me that they'd actually think of having me on their hate list before, though I know quite a few that have me there."

He mimicked my actions before and took my hand and yelled in a very bad girl voice, "Then come on!"