THE DARK
Yet another Gift fic. Willow POV
The Dark
There used to be a time, a while ago now, when I could close my eyes and everything was wiped away, like a board eraser cleaning off the chalky lessons of the day. Sleep used to take me to a place where everything was fine, where there were no problems and it didn't matter if
Cordelia and Harmony picked on me or if someone yelled 'poindexter' when I walked past in
the hall. That was a long time ago now, but I remember it a lot, because I have to think of it
often to convince myself that things ever really could be that simple and that sweet.
Sleep stopped being an answer when Jesse died.
Xander told me once, after Buffy arrived, and we found out that the wall between our town and
some demon dimension wasn't as thick as we first thought, that he hated going to bed at night. Because when he closed his eyes, Jesse was always asking why, and when he opened them, he
didn't know what was lurking in the dark. Or rather, he did know, and he couldn't help but be
afraid.
We saw a lot of people die around here. Jesse, Ms Calendar, Buffy's mom, and then -
I can't quite bring myself to say it yet. I know and I accept, but I can't say. It'll come in time.
It's a really mean thing to say, but I just kind of expected that it would be Dawn next. I found
myself wondering what it would be like for Buffy, being the last of the Summers women left.
How would she cope with her mom and Dawnie gone? But it all got messed up somewhere and
came out wrongly. It's awful of me... awful. But I wish it had been Dawnie who died. Because -
we need Buffy, you know? And Dawn - what is she? A key? She's not even real. And neither's
Buffy, any more, and we need her.
So I lie awake at night, next to Tara, and I clutch her hand as she murmurs in sleep and I can't
close my eyes because I'll see Buffy, Buffy's limp, broken body, and what am I supposed to do
then? What if I fall asleep and it just repeats itself, over and over? Or maybe I'll see Angel's
shattered face, falling to his knees, beautiful, Buffy's angel -
I never used to be afraid of the dark. But then things changed.
Yet another Gift fic. Willow POV
The Dark
There used to be a time, a while ago now, when I could close my eyes and everything was wiped away, like a board eraser cleaning off the chalky lessons of the day. Sleep used to take me to a place where everything was fine, where there were no problems and it didn't matter if
Cordelia and Harmony picked on me or if someone yelled 'poindexter' when I walked past in
the hall. That was a long time ago now, but I remember it a lot, because I have to think of it
often to convince myself that things ever really could be that simple and that sweet.
Sleep stopped being an answer when Jesse died.
Xander told me once, after Buffy arrived, and we found out that the wall between our town and
some demon dimension wasn't as thick as we first thought, that he hated going to bed at night. Because when he closed his eyes, Jesse was always asking why, and when he opened them, he
didn't know what was lurking in the dark. Or rather, he did know, and he couldn't help but be
afraid.
We saw a lot of people die around here. Jesse, Ms Calendar, Buffy's mom, and then -
I can't quite bring myself to say it yet. I know and I accept, but I can't say. It'll come in time.
It's a really mean thing to say, but I just kind of expected that it would be Dawn next. I found
myself wondering what it would be like for Buffy, being the last of the Summers women left.
How would she cope with her mom and Dawnie gone? But it all got messed up somewhere and
came out wrongly. It's awful of me... awful. But I wish it had been Dawnie who died. Because -
we need Buffy, you know? And Dawn - what is she? A key? She's not even real. And neither's
Buffy, any more, and we need her.
So I lie awake at night, next to Tara, and I clutch her hand as she murmurs in sleep and I can't
close my eyes because I'll see Buffy, Buffy's limp, broken body, and what am I supposed to do
then? What if I fall asleep and it just repeats itself, over and over? Or maybe I'll see Angel's
shattered face, falling to his knees, beautiful, Buffy's angel -
I never used to be afraid of the dark. But then things changed.