A/N: Kind of an alternate story of the confrontation between Ian and Emily in Coda, Ian's arrest, etc...(Inspired by the Miley Cyrus/Jonas Brothers song! DONT JUDGE ME OKAY) Flashbacks will be in bold italics. ALSO YES I STOLE THE "STORY" BIT FROM THE FINALE. BUT ONLY BECAUSE IT IS SO DAMN ACCURATE HOW COULD I NOT!?
No this isn't what I wanted
Never thought it'd come this far
Thinkin' back to where we started
And how we lost all that we are
Emily sat in the rain alone. Most people were taking shelter in the near by buildings or cars, but she just sat there. It was cold and wet, most people would say she would catch her death out there. And those people would be right. She was giving up. She'd played her cards and all she had left was a bluff. She just prayed it would be enough to save her family of friends.
"Emily." A gruff voice came from behind her. She barely moved. She'd been waiting for this moment.
"Ian." she said blankly as he sat down next to her on the wet park bench, umbrella in hand. Thunder rumbled angrily overhead and Emily gave a small smile to the sky.
"D'you ever think about it?" she asked quietly.
"Think about what?" He asked, thoroughly annoyed at sitting in the pouring rain.
"Us, you know... before the storm." She said, still looking at the blackened sky.
"I guess." He said shrugging. Of course he had. Only ever since the day she'd left him. On a cold rainy day just like this one, in Ireland.
"Lauren! You can't just leave! What, have we been wasting the last year and a half of our lives?" He asked angrily as Lauren threw her belongings into a suitcase. The storm outside was brewing, as were the emotions indoors.
"Ian... I- I can't do this anymore. You dont deserve this." She said, through her tears.
"Deserve what? Happiness? A Life with you? Tell me, Love. What are you running from?" Ian asked desperately grabbing onto her shoulders as she headed for the door.
"Ian, I'm not who you think I am. I'm- I'm never going to be. I can't change who I am." Lauren cried, pushing past him down the stairs. She threw her suitcase into the black Mercedes Ian had bought her for Christmas.
"What does that even mean? Are we breaking up? Are we done with "Us"? Ian asked as he followed her out to the car.
"Thats what I'm saying. There is no "us" there can't be." She said woefully.
"Tell me it's really over Lauren, look me in the eye and tell me you dont care about me, and I'll leave you alone." Ian said placing a firm hand on the car door, barring her escape.
She forced her tear filled eyes to look at him.
They stood in a stormy quiet as lightning began to strike around them.
She opened her mouth and closed it, her voice wouldn't work. She tried to say the words "I dont Love you," but she couldn't.
"I can't. I can't!" She cried shaking her head and threw her weight into his arm knocking it loose from the door and hopping in.
She locked the doors and windows and watched as he stood there, angry tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
"I Love you," she mouthed silently and hit the gas.
"I do." was all she said.
"The games over Love, and you know why I came here." He said, tired of the painful memories that flooded his mind.
"I know." She stood up, "Come with me?" She asked looking at him. It was only then he noticed her face. It was pale and sunken, as if she hadn't been sleeping or eating, and she'd been crying.
Sighing he stood, taking the hand she offered him. They walked across the road to her apartment building. She swayed a little as she walked and he kept a tight hold on her hand.
They entered her apartment and he knew why she was so calm. She was dying, the empty bottle of Vicodin laid knocked over on the table.
"Emily what have you done!" He asked grabbing her face.
"Don't be so surprised Ian. You were going to kill me anyways..." She said scoffing.
"EMILY. You know why I'm here, what happened to my son? Only you know!" Ian said shaking her desperately. He was not in favor of this turn of events. He'd taken out everyone close to her, saving her for last because only she knew, and he'd thought he would be able to extract the missing years of his life from her if she was scared enough. Torture and death being a last resort. He'd never wanted to lose her, not then and not now. Not when he was so close.
"Ian..."
"Emily, I've never asked you for anything. You had a job to do, fine. But my son is gone and you're the only one who knows where he is! Tell me!" Ian growled, he hated begging but he'd run out of options... and he was running out of time apparently.
Thunder and lighting cracked and the room went dark as the power went out.
"Ian he's gone." Emily croaked, lying through her teeth. This was the only way to save her team, to save Declan. The only card she had left was death, and to make Ian believe it.
"What do you mean GONE?!" Ian yelled, throwing his hands up in the air in aggravation.
"He's d-dead, and Louise..." She said, forcing some actual tears down her cheek. "They were shot about a year after I brought them to America. Home Invasion gone wrong..." She blubbered.
Ian's face paled. "Gone?" he whispered in disbelief.
"I'm so sorry, Ian. I-I thought they would be safer here, where I could watch over him." Emily pleaded. She sank onto her bed, stripping off her shoes and wet coat.
Ian said nothing for a moment, before putting his fist through the mirror on her wall, yelling in pain and hurt.
"Ian, please. I know you wanted to kill me, but Declan's gone. He's gone and he's not coming back... and neither am I." She whispered, laying down onto her side facing him as he paced hysterically.
"All of this- I- I- he's go- NO! You're lying. You lying BITCH!" He screamed at her, breaking a vase on her bookshelf.
"Ian, look in the nightstand." She said tiredly.
He ripped open the drawer and found the photos she'd taken. One secret she would take with her to her grave.
"N-no. No..." Ian said sinking onto the bed at her feet. She watched in agony as he wept over the photos of his not-so-dead son. The one thing in his life he'd done right. His pride and joy. And she'd taken that from him, and she couldnt live with that guilt, but she couldn't live with the prospect of him finding Declan either. This had to end.
"Ian, I gave up on us. And I'm sorry. I turned you in because it was my job, and I'm sorry for that too. I-if I could turn back time. I d-d-dont think I could do it again. I really did love you." She said reaching for his hand. "I've always loved you. Look in the safe, its our anniversary date." She said pointing. There wasn't anything in there he'd didn't already know about JTF, but the one thing that had always kept her going was the ring he'd given her. He twirled it through his fingers, in the eerie darkness. The lightning cracked viciously again.
"We've both lost who we were, Ian. We can't go back." She said slowly. The drugs were working, she had to play her final card. But it wasn't the bluff she'd tried to tell herself it was.
"It's really over, Ian. Please, stay with me. P-please, don't leave me alone." She begged. "There's nothing left for either of us now. Don't leave me. Come with me." She said, reaching under the bed for the bottle of Jameson she kept there, along with a bottle of Ambien.
Ian looked at her for one long minute before shrugging off his wet coat and shirt and sank into the bed beside her. He took the bottles from her, and with a big swallow took the bait she'd dangled. She sighed. All would be well now. Declan would be safe. Her team would be devastated, but they too, would be safe.
"Will you hold me?" She asked raspily. "Like you did before?"
He gave no answer but put his arms around her and together they laid in the darkened room. The storm raged around them but it was like they saying goes... "A heart is not a home, without the one who gets you through the storm."
"Ian?" She asked quietly.
"Yes, Love?" He said nuzzling her hair, like he'd done all those years before. He inhaled the smell of rain and her shampoo and decided if this was the last thing he smelt before he died it would be well worth it.
"I just want you to know... you were my story." She said.
"And you were mine," he said softly, as his arms tightened, pulling her closer.
And together they laid in the eye of the storm, and waited for sweet death to greet them.