A/N: Hey guys! This is my first fanfic and I'm just testing the waters : I have big plans for the future. Any constructive criticism would be brilliant, so please review! This is probably my favourite crack ship ever and I think it's way underrepresented.
A single sunbeam was casting a faint illumination on the bed, and Gar watched, not fully concious, as a shoal of dust motes danced through the dusky light. He was vaugely aware of a warm pressure on his lower stomach and thigh, and of something else, something... Something not right. He stretched lazily, arching his back like a cat and next to him Bart mumbled something in his sleep. What was that about a duck? Gar sat up slowly, careful not to wake Bart, and stretched again, trying to figure out why there was an alarm bell ringing deep in his sleep addled brain. By the light of the sunbeam his roarming eyes could make out the sillouettes of his wardrobe, desk and chest all highlighted gold: in the half darkness the junk-littered floor looked like the surface of some alien moon. He grinned, remembering his last visit to another planet. Gar's eyes did a full sweep of the room and came to rest on the sleeping figure beside him. Bart never got up before 10 if he could help it and right now he was snoring gently, his face haloed in the soft light of dawn: It was ridiculously cute. Wait. There. In the corner of his eye... Gar tore his gaze away and looked back at the door. His heart froze mid-beat and he felt something ugly and raw clawing at his insides. The door was not closed as he'd originally thought and standing there, in the doorway was Cassie, too dubfounded to speak, eyes wider than Gar thought was humanly possible and mouth shaped in a perefect o. Their gaze met; for a split second there was deathly quiet and Gar was stupidly reminded of a Mexican stand-off from an old Western movie.
"OH MY GODS!" she hollered. It was like a bomb had gone off: Bart shot out of bed like a rocket, still half asleep and dragging the bedclothes with him. Gar's legs got caught and he toppled out too so they formed a mountain of twisted sheets and tangled limbs on the floor. There was a muffled bang from somewhere outside, and what sounded like the entire Team came barreling up the corridor.
Well this'll be interesting,Gar thought wryly, trying to extract his foot from the mess on the floor.
"Dating?"
The corner of Gar's mouth twitched; "Maybe". Megan paused, trying to proccess this, but gave up:
"But, actually dating, dating? I'm not being pranked?" Gar frowned slightly and leaned forward
"Why would it be a prank?"
"Yeah Megan, Cassie caught them in the same bed, isn't that enough proo- ow!" Artemis cut Wally off with an elbow to the ribs, but Megan barely noticed.
"We are soo moded" muttered Bart, but Gar resisted looking at him. If he did he'd start to notice Bart's ridiculous bedhead, or want to start tracing the curve of his jaw. No. Had to stay focused.
"You're too young" muttered Megan, and Gar's heart took a nosedive. Here we go. He guessed he'd always known it would happen. Ever since Cassie found them half an hour ago he'd felt this mounting sense of dread. They'd been frogmarched to the lounge and neither of them had complained, even though they hadn't really needed to know what being arrested felt like. But now Megan was going to tell him everything he'd told Bart a year ago: We're too young, it's too dangerous, what if one of us dies? But that wasn't what she said next; "Since when were you gay?" she asked indstead, and Gar felt heat begin to creep up his neck. He felt Bart shift uneasily beside him.
"I've got an idea; why don't we prove it to you?" the words left Bart's mouth like bullets from a machine gun. Megan blinked in suprise and stared at Bart like he'd just suggested she take a vacation to Apokolips.
"How would you-?" She began, but Bart was already three steps ahead, as usual, thought Gar, half irritated, half impressed.
"Like a competition: We tell you about each other and you decide whether the relationship's crash or not" Gar didn't think much of this plan; he knew what kind of details Bart would focus on and he was a little worried, but before he could say anything Konner stepped forward and he fell silent: He'd always liked Kon, but watching him play baseball with Amazo's head can make you a little nervous around a guy. A look passed between Kon and Megan and Gar could tell they were having a mental argument. His tail began to twitch in anticipation. Finally she threw her arms up in exasperation:
"Fine!" and perched herself on the kitchen counter to watch the fireworks. Bart cracked his knuckles and turned to study Gar as an artist would his muse. Gar narrowed his eyes and flashed him his toothiest grin; two could play at that game. There was a moment of silence; Bart's eyes sparkled mischieviously, which was indecently distracting. The tension built and the seconds stretched for an eternity until he couldn't take it any more: Time for a pre-emptive strike
"Bart's favourite colour is green". Nothing too drastic: he wanted to save his big guns for later. But Bart was ready.
"His is gold" This was already sparking some debate in the crowd.
"Like platinum?" Cassie asked inquisitively
"No, more of an amber colour - like his eyes" that last part came out as more of a whisper, and Gar shook himself mentally. There was no way he was wimping out so early-
"He has seventeen freckles on his nose" Bart announced, and damn it he was late!
"How do you know?" asked Tim. Gar silently thanked him as he prepared a counter attack.
"I count them when I'm falling asleep; it's like counting sheep only cuter" Gar groaned and slumped into the sofa: He couldn't tell if Bart was being deliberately cheesey to distract him or he was just that bad. Probably the latter. Time for drastic measures.
"He steals the covers every night, without fail. And half the time when I wake up in the morning he's managed to roll of the bed, the idiot" Bart raised his eyebrows and Gar swallowed: This meant war.
"You want to talk about restless sleep? He changes form in the middle of the night." He turned to the audience; "Have you ever woken up with a hundred kilogram tiger on your chest? It's the antithesis of crash"
"He vibrates when he gets nervous" Too late: Gar was feeling the heat and that evil little smirk told him Bart knew it. "Gar still blushes every single time I kiss him, he soo innocent" Gar's mouth fell open.
"Innocent?" Gar yelled, incredulous.
"Yeah, you kind of are..." muttered Wally; Gar shot him a venomous look. And he didn't blush! Well, not all the time, just sometimes,when. Alright, looking back on it, on all those stolen moments when they were alone together, maybe Bart had a point. But they had no idea what it was like, being kissed by him, no idea at all; it was like lightning, fireworks and winter frost all at once. And dammit now he was blushing. Behind him Cassie was cooing like a love-sick pigeon.
"He goes crossed eyed when I kiss his nose, and when he's mad it wrinkles in the most adorable way" He grinned as Bart frowned and, sure enough, his forhead creased exactly the way he remembered. Sometimes Gar would annoy him for hours just to see that frown. God, he was such a terrible person.
"He gets up at the crack of dawn every morning just to run on the mountain. Well, I say 'running'..." Bart actually loved these runs, despite his protests otherwise. Sometimes they'd be up near the mountain's peak, basking in the warm glow of the freshly-risen sun, and he'd turn to see Bart's cheeks dappled orange, eyes half closed and a smile playing on his lips. Back to the battle.
"His favourite film is Back To The Future; he says he's the real life Marty McFly and he knows every line because we've watched it 12 times" They'd actually sat down to watch it last week, but ended up having a deep philosophical debate about the meaning of life, and if cats were secretly ploting world domination. Gar had been in the middle of defending the dozens of decent, upstanding alleycats he knew when he realised his arguments were falling on deaf ears: Bart staring at him avidly, slightly slack-jawed.
"Y'know", he'd said,"I don't think I've ever done this stuff with anyone else; just sat and talked. Not ever. You're the only one worth slowing down for". What an adorable cornball. A pointed cough shattered Gar's daydream like a brick through a window.
"His favourite form is a falcon because he loves how flying makes him feel free" Gar blinked; he didn't even think he knew that one. His go-to form was a gorilla, but that was for busting heads. Come to think of it, there really wasn't anything else like soaring through the clouds, so high up the people below were ants. It felt... magical, and Gar would be content to just drift from updraft to updraft for hours on end, watching. He closed his eyes for a second, and he swore he could almost feel the wind ruffle his hair; the Sun caress his cheek. Bart had noticed what he could not. Anyone who said that kid had a short attention span was talking out of their ass. He thought for a second; where had he seen that look on his face? That take-on-the-world-because-nothing-can-stop-me feeling that built in your chest until it sent shockwaves all the way up your spine, to the very tips of your fingers and you felt you could... well, like you could fly?
"He loves running on water because it makes him feel like he can do anything" Bart's eyes lit up, and he looked at Gar in such a way Gar knew. He knew this boy saw all of him; every single flaw and imperfection and quirk and he embraced them. Scratch that, he adored them. Huh. So this is what being in love felt like.
Eat your heart out, Romeo, you ain't got nothing on us
"Gar purrs like a cat when he's happy"
"Really? I never noticed" muttered Megan to Kon, her tone biting, But Gar was too busy grinning. Bart was the only one who could get him to purr. All those secret nights spent curled up in bed with some old movie playing in the background. Those times seemed to stretch on for an eternity, and then be over all at once; he clung to them because there was nothing else like them in his life. They were the eye of a storm of supervillains, ninjas and alien invasions, time travel, demons and miracles. "Plus, he's the only one who can cheer me up about being alone here" Bart murmerd shyly. Gar's chest tightened painfully and he came back to reality with a gasp. Not those. They could go anywhere but there; the long conversations on the mountain top where no one could here for the howling of the wind. There was no way Bart was ready to be exposed like that. He didn't like being cut open and raw, even to him. That was the whole reason he cracked jokes. Gar coughed pointedly, trying to convey the whirlwind in his head:
Too close. Not yet.
Bart nodded and changed tack like lightning. "He refuses to call me Kid Flash!" Gar groaned inwardly; not this again. Still, he supposed it was for the best: He was aware of Cassie's rapid. breathing behind him and he had to resist the urge to get her a paper bag. Better make a performance out of it: He sprang to his feet.
"He refuses to call me Changeling!" Bart launched forwards so fast Gar's breath caught in his throat: For a split second he was close enough to kiss. Damn, this guy could sell anything
"It's a stupid name!" He was acutely aware of Bart's breath tickling his nose; he detected the faintest whisper of strawberries and apples. Gar caught himself staring at his soft, pink lips, mind racing.
"It's a mature name!"
"Exactly!" Gar imagined the burning heat of his cheeks. Bart's eyes were boring into his and there were electrical sparks flying off his skin. He was vibrating ever so slightly like hornet preparing to sting, eyes narrowed in concentration. Then he smiled warmly: Here comes his Ace in the hole.
"Gar growls when he's aroused: He has this sesitive spot just below his left shoulder blade, and you wouldn't believe the noises I can get out of him if I play it just right..."
"Alright! OK, that's enough!"interrupted Kon. Gar didn't know he could turn that colour. Megan looked like she'd been hit by a bus, and Tim was actually having to prop Cassie up.
"I don't... What?" said Megan faintly.
"Haha, I win!" Bart crowed triumphantly.
"It wasn't a competition" Gar sighed resignedly.
"Yeah, but I was too much for them; I totally crashed that mode!" He leaned forward, pecked Gar on the lips and was gone. Gar pressed his lips together, relishing the trace of apples and strawberries. Then he walked away; he was hungry for enchiladas. At the doorway he turned to get a look at the chaos they'd left in their wake. Yep, everyone was pretty much shell-shocked. Megan looked like the bus had reversed back over her.
"Innocent my ass" he grinned at Wally.
Interesting was one way of putting it.