Title: Coping
Author: go_anthem_fan
Rating: PG-13 (to be safe)
Summary: Coping-"to struggle or deal, esp. on fairly even terms or with some degree of success". An insight into how Reid, Hotch, and even Jack cope while trying to create a sense of a family unit; set during season five. Oneshot.
After any traumatizing incident the human brain will attempt to rationalize the current situation and go through all the assorted emotions; whether the person experiencing the event allows for these emotions to take place and the healing to begin is up to that person and that person solely. That is why there were emotionally and mentally stable and unstable people on the planet; Reid knew this.
He also knew that sometimes he denied himself the release in processing these emotions. When a case hit too close to home, or when a situation got out of his firm control; Reid became a shut in. But this wasn't the shut in that most people thought of, he didn't lock himself away or become morbidly quiet and withdrawn; this would attract attention and force him to asses his emotions if only inside. So what exactly did Reid do?
He forced himself to distance himself from the situation, analyzing what just happened as if he had read it from a textbook. He'd think of the statistics, and many different outcomes for other people. This way the problem at hand became surreal and he could keep his emotions at arms reach. Reid knew he couldn't face his emotions, face his inner thoughts hidden deep inside; if he did he could possibly break. What good would he be to anyone if he broke?
When this tactic didn't work, he slept. Any addict, even after recovery, longs for that feeling of escape. Sleeping provided that escape without doing anything to damage himself; sometimes he just needed to pretend that murder, rape, and drugs didn't exist. Even if for a moment.
Hotch didn't say much when Reid was in one of his, "I am going to sleep for the next eternity, do not disturb" moods. He knew damn good and well what Reid was doing, and decided it was better then the alternative; shooting up. So if Reid wanted to take twenty-four hours to just sleep, he allowed it; only waking his younger lover to eat dinner before sending him back to sleep. He knew the genius had been through a lot, whether he be intentionally putting himself in danger or danger finding him, Reid always managed to find himself in ill fated predicaments. How the young man was still so peppy, Hotch would never understand.
Jack was just starting to get to the age where Hotch could explain to him the concept of, alone time. When Spencer needed to sleep, Hotch would try to explain to his son that Reid had had a hard week, and was very sleepy and would much appreciate it if Jack wouldn't go into the bedroom and disturb him. Jack would either comply right off the bat, or complain about how he had wanted to play with Reid "really badly" as he had so wonderfully put it. Hotch would then nod and tell Jack how yes, he too wished that Spencer would come and play, but that he needed to sleep and that the three of them would all play at the park the next day. Jack was usually content with this.
After his sleepathon, Reid would be back to his usual awkward but adorable self. He'd entertain Jack the best he could, and steal kisses with Aaron when the young boy wasn't looking. This was all the process in which Reid coped.
Aaron Hotchner dealt with his emotions and turmoil completely different. Addressing his issues would be acknowledging that they had indeed happened. The Unit Chief in these moments would actually refuse to let any emotions show, even happiness, and would lock himself up in his office until the early hours of morning; sometimes he wouldn't come home at all for a day or two. Somehow if he just focused on the paperwork at hand, and shut out the world, he could continue on for another day. He knew Jack didn't understand why sometimes he didn't come home, and he felt sorry that he put that burden some nights of leaving Jack with Spencer. But it was all he knew how to do to keep himself sane.
When Hotch was "unable to come home", as Reid would explain to his lover's son, the young genius would try his best to fulfill all of Jack's needs. He'd feed the young child dinner and breakfast, though usually dinner was either something simple or they went out. He tucked Jack in to bed every night, even reading him a story; though he knew the stories he read Jack didn't understand, Reid also knew Jack just liked hearing a caring voice lull him to sleep. That was usually good enough of a foundation for the both of them.
Spencer never called or nagged at Aaron when he was in his office, late at night or when they were both on duty. He never pestered or probed into the man's mind when it was just the two of them laying in bed together. He accepted that Hotch would never open up that side of himself to Reid, just like the younger man wouldn't open up his side to him. As long as both parties were equally stable, that was all that mattered. The most Reid ever did, was keep Hotch's laundry done and give the man a good shoulder massage as a way to lighten the load on his lover's back.
Both of them being there for Jack was a different story. After Hailey had died, Jack had started wetting the bed. Aaron had been confused not sure what to do with his son. Should he punish him? Spencer explained patiently to his older lover that when most children experience severe, or even mild emotional trauma bed wetting can occur. They feel unsafe and are dealing with emotions they can't handle at such a young age, and that eventually the bed wetting would stop. They just needed to be there for Jack, and help him feel more secure and sort through his emotions.
Hotch started trying to spend more time with Jack. They talked about Hailey when Jack wanted to, they played games, Hotch even helped with his son's reading and homework when he could. Anything to strengthen the bond and make Jack feel more sable. Sometimes though, this wasn't enough.
Jack had always viewed his dad as his, well, dad. Dad was supposed to play with him, be proud of him, make sure he did what was right. But Hailey had been his mom. Mom was the one who kissed his "boo-boo's", held him when he was scared, and just all around loved him and cared for him. Those were the roles each parental figure had played in his mind. So when he had a nightmare late at night, Jack didn't want his dad; he wanted his mom. This was where Spencer came into the picture.
Reid despised the fact that everyone viewed him as such a feminine man, but in this circumstance he didn't mind. Since Aaron was "daddy", Jack viewed Spencer as a feminine role in his life and wanted the aspect of "mommy" to be played by him. No, no one could ever be his mom again, and he didn't want Reid to be his mom. He just wanted the man to be the substance of the needs he craved from a motherly figure. So when he needed to be held late at night, he cried for Spencer. When he fell, scraped his knee, and needed a bandaid- he went to Spencer. When he just all around wanted to receive a more motherly form of affection, he went to Spencer.
Sometimes Hotch teased Reid about this when they were alone, and it had taken a great deal of time, effort, and major adjusting for Reid to get used to acting this was around Jack. And in no way did Reid act like a downright girl around Jack, he just performed the parental needs that Jack needed at the time. He had signed up to be apart of Jack's life and family when he first ever went on a date with Aaron; so he adjusted just like Jack and Aaron did.
Though all three had their problems, and throughout their lives many more would arise; they were a family. And families dealt with things as whole, and helped each other. Even though Reid may not of always had that growing up, he did now. And Hel would freeze over first if he was going to lose it.