It was like some crazy dream. Everyone hated us. No actually, correction: everyone hated me. Why did they blame me?

It was a dream.

I wish.

There was that one night. I was almost a month ago. Mal and I had gone back to my hotel room to watch a movie, as we did sometimes to unwind after a particular grueling day at work.

Mal was perfect. Note to self: not an exaggeration. He was absolutely perfect.

Observations:

I love Mal.

Mal is perfect for me.

Mal understands me better than anyone else.

Mal's hair looks adorable today.

Mal's hair looks adorable every day.

Correction: Mal looks adorable every day.

I'm in love with Mal Fallon.

Why'd I do that? Why the hell would I admit to myself I love him? I'm an idiot. A completely insane idiot.

Now I'd never get that out of my head.

I'm an idiot.

So that night I watched him as he watched the movie. Every reaction he had – a laugh, a smile, a gasp – everything brought a smile to my face.

They say you can see it in someone's eyes when they're looking at someone they love. I wonder what he saw in my eyes that night. I know what I saw in his.

Sometimes I doubt it though, what I saw. Who was I to define what the look of love was? Maybe that was a look of desire or want, but not truly love. Whatever it was, I fell for it. I hugged him. I confessed to him. He kissed me. He…

I guess walking into the precinct holding hands was our first mistake. The looks we got…the number of looks was unimaginable.

Ken, Kai, Amy, Joe, Maria… I ticked off the names on my fingers. They all stared daggers at our joined hands that signified unity, friendship, a relationship, love.

I was embarrassed.

Why the hell was I embarrassed now, to have what I'd dreamt of? I truly am an idiot. But they were all staring. Why were they still all staring? What was wrong with us? We were idiots; we shouldn't be flaunting our relationship when we're partners! Of course they'd disapprove! What were we THINKING?

They all blamed me. Of course they all blamed me. Mal had obviously (to them) liked me for a while. He hadn't done anything about it because "it would be irrational to date your partner." I guess that's what they figured.

It was me. I did something. I tempted him.

It was my fault.

Obviously.

Once upon a time in a world painted gray

A man and a woman fell in love one fine day

With joy and success shining clearly on each face

They walked into work to solve yet another case

The pair worked together; partners they were

But people believed it was he, she did lure

Into confessing his love, it was all her evil plot

It was something deeper from him that she sought

They blamed the woman, who was innocent as a grain of sand

They stared daggers at the couple – entering hand in hand

The man didn't mind; he was with the woman here

His love, his friend, the one he'd always held dear

But she began to worry; anxiety set in

And then suddenly she heard a whisper through all of the noisy din

"Those idiots are setting themselves up to be hurt"

It killed her; it maimed her, even though it was curt

She dropped her lover's hand; ran right out the door

Ran straight to her room, and then dropped on the floor

She cried until he showed up; took her hand in his

"They'll think what they want. It is what it is."

She smiled at him; her tears were now hidden

They'd love forever, even if it was forbidden.