***AUTHOR'S NOTE***
This will be continued in my 'Adventures of Badger' Series. It was going to be the original chapter, but I was like, hey, everyone loves a prequel! This involves a new friend of mine on league Genesis011, who not only won the Thresh and Evelynn story title contest (Unlocking the Chain Warden), but also turned out to be a pretty chill dude. I like his ideas, and he will be my partner in writing 'Adventures of Badger'.
So yeah, here's what happens when I run into one of the most dangerous female champions in the league, enjoy!
FUCK YOU TEEMO.
-HoneyBadgerDC
Summoner Badger sat alone in the woman's dormitories at the league, pouting. He was sitting on a bench down the hall from the room that Caitlyn and Vi shared together. Badger had originally thought this night was going to go very well for him (Caitlyn and Vi were totally smashed, and were feeling him up before), but now he realized how stupid he had been. They just needed someone to get them back to their rooms, and they had kicked him out as soon as they were back. He had heard various grunting noises from the room as he walked away.
"Pfft, they won't even let me watch" he mumbled to himself.
As he sat there, mulling over his misfortunes, he heard a sharp sound, the sound of metal against metal.
He looked around, and heard the sound again. This was the middle of the night, who would be crossing swords at this hour?
His mind raced, "An assassination?!" he wondered aloud, and ran towards the source of the sound.
Through the corridors he raced, every now and then he could hear the loud PING.
Finally, he came to the door that the sound emanated from. He tried the handle, but it was locked.
He conjured magic to his hands, and broke down the door, revealing a pitch black room.
The sound stopped, and Badger strode in.
"Whoever is in here, you should be very afraid, I, Summoner Badger of the League of legends, am here to stop-" His words ended as he felt a blade pressed to his throat.
A familiar, French-like accent rang in the darkness "Move an inch, and you're dead".
Badger smiled, and disappeared. A moment later, he re-appeared behind the grand duelist, Fiora.
"My apologies, lady Fiora, I thought I heard the sounds of battle, and I merely wished to assist" he said, bowing.
Fiora scoffed at him and put her blade away. Reaching into the darkness, she pulled out a battered dummy that was covered in various kinds of plate armor.
Every kink and opening had had a sword ran through it, revealing several punctures.
"I was practicing, idiot" she said, agitated "and now I need a new door".
Badger smiled, and said "Sorry".
Uttering several quiet incantations, Badger shot a strange purple beam at the wooden splinters of the door. They immediately rose up and reassembled, and promptly latched back into place.
"Good, now go away" Fiora ordered.
"How about a thank you?" Badger said, annoyed.
"For what? Breaking into my room, destroying my door, and interrupting my training?" She asked, sarcastically.
"For thinking you were in trouble, coming to your aid, and then fixing the door afterwards" he replied.
Fiora glared at him, and the next second, her blade was at his throat.
"Insolent Peasant" she hissed.
What happened next, Fiora would never forget.
Badger looked at her, smiled, then said a few words under his breath.
Fiora watched in horror as her sword crumpled into tiny pieces.
"That isn't a very nice thing to call a master summoner" Badger said, smiling innocently.
If looks could kill, Fiora's would be stabbing Badger right now.
"Now, lady Fiora, I'll make you a deal" he started.
"What?" She asked, agitated.
"I would like you to join me for coffee tomorrow, at a small place that's in the city outside the institute" Badger said.
"And why would I ever disgrace myself enough to be seen in public with you?" she asked.
"Wow, you are kind of stuck up, no guy is going to want you if you act like that all the time" Badger stated, bluntly.
Fiora's eyes seethed with anger.
"Anyways, meet me for coffee, and I will not only restore your sword, but make it better than before!" Badger cried, clapping his hands together.
Fiora groaned, she didn't have much of a choice.
"Fine, what time?" She asked.
….
THE NEXT DAY
….
"Good morning, Summoner" Fiora said in her usual accent.
Badger put his newspaper down and looked up at the grand duelist. She was wearing her usual jumpsuit, though instead of armor, wore a long white coat.
She could only giggle slightly at his appearance. Instead of his normal robes, he was dressed casually, or semi-casually. He wore a collared shirt, blue pants, and sandals. His long, dark, shaggy hair draped down to his shoulders, and covered most of his face. Sunglasses covered his eyes, though Fiora knew he was looking right back at her.
He smiled, and motioned his head towards the seat across from him.
Fiora sat, and frowned. If she was going to be forced into this, she would make this as unpleasant as possible.
"I love your accent, grand duelist" Badger said out of nowhere.
Fiora was completely taken aback by this, most people mocked her tone, as it was not an accent from Runeterra, but rather from a long gone place.
She did her best to hide a blush.
"Anyways, did you bring your sword's pieces with you?" Badger asked,.
"I did, of course" Fiora said, and placed a sheath on the table.
Badger took his sunglasses off, revealing dark green eyes, and a slightly creepy stare. Fiora couldn't put her finger on it, but something was off about it.
As if on cue, Badger began to laugh.
"The eyes freaking you out?" he asked her, chuckling.
Fiora looked away, she hadn't meant to insult the idiot, not while her sword was broken. Afterwards, she had a few painful words for him, though the most painful experience would be her sword through his gullet.
"One of my pupils is larger than the other, that's why my eyes look so strange to people. Unlike most, my eyes do not show ulterior motive. I'd have to be thinking about a lot of stuff to do that" he explained, still chuckling.
Fiora looked at him, surprised, she hadn't noticed this before. She took a closer look, and realized he was telling the truth. Now that she understood what was going on, his stare didn't seem nearly as creepy, his eyes were.. kind of nice.
Fiora wanted to kick herself, this idiot broke her sword and made her look like a fool, she had her honor to represent here.
"Would you like to order something- Lady Fiora! What a pleasant surprise! Would you like the usual?" a waitress asked as she walked up.
Badger grinned widely.
"Yes, thank you" Fiora said, sounding defeated.
"You like this place too, then?" Badger asked.
She looked at him, did he know this was one of her favorite places? Was he spying on her? What was this guy's deal? Why did he ask her to meet him here?
"Your sword is fixed, Lady Laurent" Badger said, and handed her the sheath.
Fiora winced, she hadn't even noticed him fixing it.
Pulling the blade out, it felt lighter than before, but much stronger. It was also nicely polished, it looked brand new.
"Thank you, I'll be leaving now" Fiora said, getting up.
"You're not going to wait for the waitress to bring you your food and drink? That's kinda rude" Badger said.
Fiora plopped back down in her chair and huffed, she wanted to kill this idiot.
And yet, there was something charming about him.
They sat there for a few moments, during which Fiora noticed how many people stopped to say hello to badger, either they were in the coffee house themselves, or they were passing by the open terrace on which they were eating.
"Summoner Badger, we have not drunk together in sometime, we must do so soon!" Volibear roared.
"Tomorrow night, Singed's place, you're buying!" Badger responded.
"With what?! I'm a bear! I have no money!" Volibear chuckled.
The two had laughed, and shook hands. Volibear went on his way.
"Yo Badger! Jayce, Genesis and I totally spied on Thresh and Evelynn last night! We found out some crazy stuff!" Ezreal yelled from the street.
Badger gave him a dirty look, then smiled back at Fiora.
"You shouldn't be spying on champions Ezreal, and I will be reprimanding Genesis for that later" Badger scolded him.
"You will tell me every single detail tonight, got it?" He sent a telepathic message to the prodigal explorer.
"It would appear you are quite popular, Badger" Fiora remarked.
"My dear Lady Fiora, call me Jay" He said, kindly.
"Is it Badger, Jay, or idiot who uses Thresh to attack Blitzcrank?" Fiora asked, smugly.
"Oh come on! That was one time!" he yelled in response.
She began to giggle, and he began to laugh.
Fiora looked at him and smiled, perhaps he wasn't such an idiot.
…
An hour or two later
…
Fiora left the coffee house, feeling strange. She had had every intention of skewering that summoner the second he had fixed her blade, and yet… there was something about him.
His kind voice, his deep eyes, the way he spoke to her, he was like no man she had ever met.
For one, no man ever told her she was rude or stuck up. They had hinted, but no one had ever said it outright. Also, Badger… err… Jay.. seemed to have no reservations about telling her anything.
"Either he's far too trustworthy, he has nothing to hide, or he's an idiot" Fiora mumbled to herself.
Although she had gone to the coffee house angry and irritated with the summoner, she now had a begrudging respect for him, she maybe even liked him.
Her thoughts began to wander slightly.
Two tiny beings appeared on her shoulders. One, a miniature version of her, was dressed in an angelic robe with white wings, and a harp. A small halo floated above her head. The other appeared on her right shoulder appeared as a demonic version of her, with pointy horns, red skin, and a pitch fork.
"What the hell..?" Fiora asked.
"Ooh my, my, someone's fallen for a certain summoner" the angelic Fiora said, giggling.
"Oh please, she's just buying her time, and then she'll kick the moron's ass" the demonic Fiora retorted, sneering.
"What the hell is going on?" Fiora asked.
"Oh, beg your pardon, I'm you, the good you" the tiny angel fiora squealed happily.
"And I am the rational, uptight, asswad you make yourself out to be to others" the demon Fiora said, begrudgingly.
"So why are you here?" Fiora asked. She assumed that Badger or someone else must have drugged her drink, but she decided to play along.
"to help you make important decisions, such as who you loooooooooooove" little angel Fiora sighed, putting her hands to her face, and blinked, dreamily.
"Dunno, shit happens" the demon Fiora stated bluntly.
"So girl, what did you think of that dreammyyy summoner Badger?" the angelic Fiora asked, laying on Fiora's shoulder.
"I guess I don't have to kill him" she replied, plainly.
"That still is an option, you know" little demon Fiora chuckled evilly.
"Or you could love him, and marry him, and kiss him, and loooooove him" little angel fiora squeaked happily.
Fiora winced at the thought.
Demon Fiora looked over at her counterpart "Are you on meth?" she asked.
"No, just happy, and thinking about that gorgeous summoner" angel Fiora responded, blinking several times, a heart appearing over her head.
"Both of you, buzz off" Fiora ordered.
"Fine, I don't like you anyways" Demon Fiora hissed, and vanished in a puff of red smoke.
"Okay!" angelic Fiora cheerily cried, and also vanished.
Fiora sighed, and looked around. She had walked into a more remote part of town.
She was about to turn around, when she saw a familiar sight.
There he was, Badger.. er.. Jay.. "Damn, call him Badger, you don't like him" Fiora growled at herself.
He was standing on a second floor terrace, talking to another summoner (dressed in dark blue robes), the explorer, Ezreal, and a man she recognized as Jayce.
"Dude, Ez tells us he saw you with Fiora earlier" the summoner said, in more of a question-like tone.
"Yeah, she accompanied me for coffee" he responded, nonchalantly.
Fiora moved closer, and placed her back to the wall of the building so she would not be seen.
"Was it a date? We all know you're interested in her" Jayce said.
"Badger is interested… in me? No, that's ridiculous" Fiora thought to herself, though at that moment, she felt a strange feeling in her chest, as though she longed for a specific answer.
"I wish it was, but I don't think Fiora would go for a guy like me" Badger said, kind of sadly, "She's far too beautiful, and I'm sure she can do better than me".
Fiora blushed heavily when she heard his response, he was so honest, and so modest.
She had looked for those qualities in men before, but never found them, the problem was, he was a summoner, and she was a Demacian noble, her status and honor were the most important things to her… or were they?
She hadn't ever asked herself this question.
Was she happy acting like a snob to everyone? Acting like she was better just because she was in a higher social class? Why should she care about status? All it did was alienate her from other people.
At that moment, something changed in the grand duelist.
Using all the force in her legs, she sprung up unto the terrace, catching all four men by surprise.
"Summoner Badger.. Err.. Jay" Fiora began.
"Oh, Fiora, hey! I.. Uh.." the summoner tried to stammer out.
"You and I will be having a lunch date at Rumble's pub. One o'clock, do not be late" she said.
"The Pumble?" all four men asked.
Fiora smiled, and blew a kiss at Badger. She then leapt from the terrace, and disappeared from sight.
Ezreal reached out his hand "I got it first!" he cried.
Genesis jumped on top of him "No, I got it! Gimme!" he yelled.
They grappled for a moment, before Jayce broke them up.
"Hey you idiots, don't fight, we all know it's mine!" He roared, powering up his mercury hammer.
The three proceeded to trash the surrounding area, while Badger stood there, stunned.
He turned to his three friends and smiled the largest grin ever.
"Damn, I'm good" he said, and put his hands behind his head.