A/n: Upon popular request from many of my friends, I am finally typing this up and posting it. I wrote this last year for my friend Logan, and eventually pretty much all of our friends read it and everyone loves it. Hopefully all of y'all do too!
=)
Eighteen (Plus One) Ways to Die by Paperclip
Stabbed in the jugular vein.
Stabbed in that important vein in your leg.
Create small (non fatal) perforated lines along a joint and rip a limb off, causing death by exsanguinations.
"Emo torture" (wrists being slit).
Swallowed unfolded.
Strangled by paperclip rope.
Killer paperclip jump rope.
Die of embarrassment with one stuck up your….nose.
Large intestine exploding with a paperclip ball stuck up your…well you know.
AIDS contracted from an infected one you found on the streets of New York.
Pain when your eyes are gorged out.
Choke on one dropped into your coffee.
Two words: paperclip gun.
Tetanus from a rusty paperclip.
Mossad assassin/ ninja paperclip nun chucks.
Hollowed out paperclip filled with cyanide.
Disembowelment.
Slowly with thousands of painful albeit non fatal cuts and slowly bleed to death.
PLUS ONE:
Your brains picked out through your nose a la ancient Egypt.
FINE
A/N 2: Those were actually a lot more graphic than I remember, but whatever! I really enjoyed writing them….
XOXO, Ems