A Study on Annexes
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Rating: T (for descriptions of violence and death-related themes)
Author's Note: This is sort of a Tokyo-Babylon-crossing-into-X/1999-fanfic.
Volume Seven of Tokyo Babylon was made of three parts or annexes that are titled 'End', 'Secret', and 'Start' and I've tried to explore the significance of these names to Subaru, with this fanfic. This contains spoilers for the whole volume so please read at your discretion. The word definitions are my own.
I love that last picture of Subaru walking off into the dark distance in Tokyo Babylon's very last page and it's so haunting and poignant that I felt inspired to make this.
Warnings: Spoilers and a lot of angst.
Pairing(s): Subaru x Seishirou
Please read and leave a review, comment, etc. I appreciate feedback, like all other aspiring writers and would gladly do the same for you in the future.
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Annexe 1: End
Subaru Sumeragi would never forget that violent wrench. And the crack that he felt rather than heard; the sound his arm made when it was forced into two different directions at once, under the hands of the one he had come to love.
For one second, he'd lost everything; his name, his family, his duty and where he was and whom he was with. He just forgot it.
And when it returned, he died inside. Nothing else hurt after that and it was a relief. An empty one.
But they weren't done with him yet.
For seven years, he'd been taught and conditioned to give up everything he held dear for the sake of others. He'd done it.
He was given his due reward.
He was hurled back into the world, screaming his sister's name, slamming onto the floor, stunned, with tears running down his face.
He made a vow to kill the one that had ripped what little he had away from him.
And in doing so, he killed himself and turned to face the inferno he had only caught glimpses of before, while helping others.
He would walk through that cold fire for the rest of his life.
End: The finality or conclusion of an event, literary piece, song, dialogue, etc. It signifies that there is nothing more to be perceived beyond that point. It is a place from where progress can no longer be made.
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Annexe 2: Secret
When Hokuto Sumeragi had seen the bloodstains on her younger brother's clothes and face, she had, to put it simply, freaked out.
When she'd finally calmed down and they'd gotten Subaru's stained garments off of him, she saw to her relief that he was unmarked. It wasn't his blood.
He carefully washed the dried maroon fluid off his cheeks, neck and chest in the basin. She'd given him a towel and a change of clothes.
She asked him how it happened. For once, she was quiet.
Neither of them said it, but they could make out the vague marks of fingers that had stroked his face and neck with the blood almost obscenely.
He realized he didn't remember anything. He just let himself fall down. He was tired.
She sat down next to him, leaning back against the side of his bed and squeezed his hand, unable to let go. She was shivering and he awkwardly put an arm around her. But how could prey offer comfort? She shivered harder and clung to him.
Subaru looked off into the distance, thoughtful, trying to retrieve memories of sights he'd never seen and conversations he'd never heard.
Secret: A matter of confidentiality that is only disclosed to a very low number of recipients due to its nature. It is known that revealing a secret usually has catastrophic consequences in most cases, resulting in a betrayal of trust.
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Annexe 3: Start
With a population of over 11 million, it was the city that never slept.
Humanity in Tokyo, squeezed into whatever places it could find, pulling each other down into a squirming pile that was his duty to wrangle with, to pull out the crushed ones that were unable to live or leave.
There was no space. When you took a photo outside, you had to accept that fact that twenty other people would inadvertently join it no matter how you tortured the camera's settings or which contorted position you held it in.
He'd gotten used to it. Living right in its ritzy heart, he'd adjusted quickly and it was Tokyo that gave him the feeling of being in a place he belonged; Kyoto, his native city, was the place where he felt a sense of disquiet.
But that was because the two people in his life who'd held him steady and led him carefully every moment of the day in Tokyo were missing in Kyoto.
He didn't let himself think about that.
He silently hoped that the departed girl's spirit that he had helped barely minutes ago would find her resting place and that she would finally give in to the contentment of eternal peace.
He didn't begrudge those who got the things he had always wished for.
The darkness heightened and reached out to corner him. He didn't mind; he melted willingly into it.
There was no space. In Tokyo, you had to share. And he'd never had a problem with it. After giving himself completely and totally to anything that reached out, mere sharing came to him far too easily.
Maybe all people who do bad things…are just really lonely.
He let himself go limp for a few seconds, remembering a teasing smirk and a whitened eye, a bloodstained suit, merciless arms holding a pierced corpse almost tenderly.
He looked up. Eyes darkened. Fists clenched.
He walked down the dark road, his coat flying out behind him, his black hair getting ruffled in the gentle wind as it wiped the moisture off his face.
And then, it struck him.
For the first time, he was actually alone.
It was a gift to him; the deserted road, the fluttering bushes and the comforting glow of the orange streetlights as they illuminated a path for him. Buildings stretched towards the sky above.
And a few sakura petals were suspended in the curling wind, swirling around him.
He knew this area well from the last few days of his investigation; there were no sakura trees here.
One step and then another, till he was walking, letting everything he had managed to hold down until now break over him. The transit was over; it was time to move again.
Somehow, he knew that this wasn't the finale. There was more. He felt it in that part within his soul that had been sensitized by almost two decades worth of harsh discipline. There was a lot more to come and he would have to prepare himself for it soon.
But he wouldn't break this time. It was a promise to his dead sister. He would do anything…except for that. It was good enough.
And he walked towards the rest of his life that waited for him ahead.
Start: The beginning of a new venture. It is commonly used to symbolize the birth, rebirth and reincarnation of something and is the opposite of an end, signaling that there is more to come…that there is something to live for.
The End.