This is what happens when I talk to a friend on the phone. I get inspired to write random stuff. This could be considered part of the comedy AU like my other stories, or part of the serious story that has yet to appear. I take way too long to write things. *Sigh.* Anyway, a fourth story is currently in the works, and will be uploaded whenever I get around to finishing it. In the meantime, I hope you like this short little piece of nothing.

Disclaimer: If I owned Transformers, the live-action movies wouldn't exist, but I don't.

-In Which Hot Rod Walks the Plank-

"Git up and walk the plank ye scurvy dog!"

"Uh . . . Si—"

"That's Capp'n to ye, Fish Bait!"

"Right. Captain Sideswipe."

"Less yappin', more walkin'."

"I'd love to, Sir, but . . . I'm not entirely sure where I'm going?"

". . . Yer walkin' the plank. It ain't that complicated, Roddy."

"Yeah, Roddy, now hurry up, I'm hungry down here!"

"Quiet you. Sharks don't talk."

"Oh, right, whoops. Ahem. RAAAAWR!"

". . . I don't think they roar either, but whatever. Love the enthusiasm. Anyways, you heard the shark. Walk!"

". . . I'm only gonna fall . . . like . . . an inch."

"I don't care, jump anyway."

"Is there any particular reason that I'm playing the poor sap getting fed to the sharks?"

". . . Well, I wanted to be the captain, and Bluestreak claimed the shark weeks ago. Also, you stole my last energon snack yesterday, so yes, there is a particular reason you are being fed to the sharks. Now, if you're done poking holes in our make-believe game of pirates, jump. And make it dramatic."

"Baby shark do-do do do do do-do, baby shark—"

"Sharks don't sing either, Blue."

"Sorry, I thought it would be appropriate."

"Okay, okay, I'll fall all of one inch to my certain death. But seriously, there isn't even any water in here."

"Oh, for Primus' sake! Blue, melt an ice cube or something down there. Hot Rod clearly has no imagination."

"On it, Capp'n!"

"So you're the shark's captain too? Wha—Bluestreak, why was there an ice cube in your subspace?"

"Because reasons."

"There, soon you'll have a nice little puddle down there. Now jump an' be eaten by the sharks, me ex-matey!"

"Fine, fine. Ahem. Noooo! Someone save me from this horrible fate!"

"Haha, bein' stubborn, are ye? Well, me sword will fix ye!"

"Ack! No! Not the—haha—not the sword!"

"Fall! Fall! Fall! Fall! Fall!"

"Y'know, if I didn't know better, I'd say that there shark were chantin' at ye to fall."

"Heheh, oops."

"NOOOO!"

"Wahahaha! See ye in Davey Jones' Locker!"

"OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!"

"AAAAH! I'm being eaten alive! HEEEELP!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

It was at the point were Hot Rod was meeting his end at Bluestreak the Shark's servos—as his mouth was clearly occupied with those nomming noises—with Sideswipe laughing maniacally in the background that Brawn began to back away from the door. The amusing chatter in Sideswipe's quarters had attracted his attention early on, and he had soon found himself listening in and snickering quietly. He pondered whether or not this qualified as something he should report to Prowl, as he technically hadn't begun his patrol yet and Hot Rod, obviously, was not really being eaten alive. He grinned and decided that the look on Prowl's face when he informed him of Hot Rod's so-called demise was definitely worth it. He wondered though, what had caused Sideswipe's sudden interest in pirates. Something he did know, was that the look on Sunstreaker's face when he got back from his patrol would be priceless, as would the subsequent complaints to Sideswipe about the way he tore apart their quarters to play pirates.