There's snow falling outside my window as the fire crackles. It's midnight, it's officially Christmas. This is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, right? That's what Andy Williams sings anyway. It's one of my favorite holiday tunes, as a matter of fact, yet I couldn't feel further from wonderful at this moment. At this point in time I have not one single solitary person to share the holiday with. I sit here alone and can't even think of a single plan for tomorrow. I guess I could see a movie, as per usual. It depresses me to think about how going to see a Bruce Willis flick or the newest Tarantino film is the most festive I can get on December 25th. It's midnight, but I pick up the phone anyway. I know I'm making a mistake, for if she's asleep and I wake her, I will never hear the end of it and may even end up with some form of bodily harm, but I do it anyway.
She answers, no hint of sleep in her voice, and I am relieved.
"Hey, what's up? It's me." I say nonchalantly as if I just called to shoot the breeze.
"Tony, if you are calling this late you best have a reason, otherwise I am hanging up." Her words are meant to sound irritated but I can tell that she is smirking a little even as she says this.
"Yea, well...I...whatcha got planned for Christmas? Anything interesting." I say, realizing that what I am asking sounds really lame and completely prodding and desperate.
"Well, I do not usually make a big deal of it. Why do you ask?" She knows where I'm going with this, and I'm glad she plays along, my pride taking a back seat to a desperate need to not be alone this year.
"Well ya know, if you're not doing anything I was thinking of seeing a movie, you could come with?" I asking trying not to sound as hopeful as I am.
She pauses for a split second, and when she answers I am almost too excited to answer.
"Yes, that actually sounds very nice, as long as we can go see Les Miserables." Of course she would want to go see a musical.
At this point I don't even care that she has forced me into seeing a chick flick sing song-y movie, I immediately agree as if her suggestion was brilliant.
After we hang up, I feel much more relaxed and much less alone, and decide that maybe this year I will actually be able to sleep a few hours.
We meet at 1:50 for the 2 pm showing, my usual punctuality exaggerated because I am anxious to share a space with another human being, more so than normal. As we sit down I pull out a small box and give it to her.
"Merry Christmas," I say, feeling like a teenager hoping to God she will like what I got her. She opens the box and her eyes beam. A simple necklace with a simple yet elegant pendant. I got it because it reminded me so much of her. The way she effortlessly had made me fall in love with her over the years. How she effortlessly overlooked how I looked at her with adoration and love, how she had dated others when I suspected she felt the same way I did. How everything she did, everything she said, made me fall more deeply for her nearly every day.
Gauging her reaction, I leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. I half expected her to abruptly pull back as it felt that every time we had an opportunity to have a relationship something, usually dire an drastic, got in the way to pull us apart. However, this did not happen, and instead I felt her return this kiss, relief flooding me.
At that moment I realized no matter what I did, would do for the rest of my life, she would always have this innate and incomparable power over me, I was completely at her mercy. The kiss grew more passionate until we finally had to break apart to breath. She looked at me, and what I saw shocked and excited me more than I can say. I saw in her eyes was the exact love and lust I myself felt at that moment.
Wordlessly I grabbed her hand and we exited the theater, before a single second of the movie had begun playing. Not even caring that we had driven to the theater separately, we got into my car and headed for my apartment. I quickly ushered her inside and once I closed the door I gently pushed her against it and kissed her with far more passion than I had let slip in the theater. She returned my feelings readily, opening her mouth to let my tongue slip inside.
Without any words, clothes were shed as we made our way to my bedroom, where I finally made love to the woman I adored and wanted more than anyone in my entire life.
Afterwards we lay there, and I softly spoke the three words I feared more than any other string of words in the English language.
"I love you." I stated matter-of-factly.
She looked up at me, and for a moment I thought she was not going to return my words, or worse tell me I did not mean what I said, it wouldn't have been the first time.
But then with a smile she finally spoke, "I love you too. I have for a very long time."
We lay the for a few more minutes, starting to drift off to sleep when I said, "We have to be two of the most stubborn, bull-headed people I know. To be in love with each other for so long and not do anything about it."
All she said was, "I know" before her eyes closed and her breathing slowed.
This was definitely the best Christmas ever.