Something Nice Happens To Lister
Disclaimer: Not mine. As if you lot need telling.
A/N: It's been brought to my attention that I've been pretty cruel to poor Listy over the past few months with various fics; and in all honesty, considering what I've got planned for the next few, things aren't really looking up for him. So therefore I've decided to write this as a way of making it up to him before I get back to torturing him in my next adventure.
Lister walked along the metal gantry to Starbug's midsection. Kryten had said something about a crew meeting but he wasn't sure what it would be about. Maybe the Cat had kicked up a fuss about him nicking his hair gel or something. Come to think about it, they'd all been a bit funny with him the past few days. Maybe he really had done something to annoy them...
When he reached the top of the stairs he was surprised to see the galley in total darkness. Had there been a power cut? No, that didn't make sense; all the lights were working in the rest of the ship. And why weren't the others here? What was going on?
"SURPRISE!" He jumped in alarm as suddenly the lights blazed on to reveal his crew-mates standing around the table in party hats. "W...What's going on?" he asked, puzzled, "Is it my birthday or somethin'?"
"No, sir. We just thought we'd throw a little party to let you know how much we all love you," Kryten said warmly.
"We know you've had a pretty tough time lately, buddy," the Cat said sympathetically, "What with that crazy Feline Ranger chick stalking you at every turn and doing horrid things to you." Lister looked around anxiously at the mention of the name.
"That's right," Kriss agreed, "After all, she had you shot with a crossbow in Rimmer's Decision..."
"Goal-post head nearly ripped your throat out in The Hunger," Cat reminded him; "And you got raped and tortured by that psycho guy in Promises," he added.
"You were deserted by Mister Alex in Love and Friendship," Kryten chipped in.
"Right. And then she made you work as a prostitute and contract a deadly virus in Somewhere Else," Rimmer concluded.
"It's been a tough year," Lister admitted, sniffling and wiping away a tear as the memories flooded back.
"But," Rimmer said, walking over and hugging him, "Whatever she's done to you, we've always been there to pick up the pieces. And she's always let the two of us be together in the end."
"That's true," Lister brightened slightly.
"Well, we just want you to know that whatever happens and whatever that mad nutter of a woman does to you, we'll always be here and we'll always love you." Rimmer gave him a kiss.
Lister wiped his eyes, overcome with emotion, "Aw, thanks guys. This is so sweet of you all. It really does make me feel a whole lot better."
"Good. And just to top things off, Kryten's baked you a cake and we've all bought you big presents," Rimmer gestured to the table which was piled high with gifts in shiny wrapping and a huge chocolate cake.
You know what?" Lister squeezed Rimmer's waist, "With you guys behind me, I think I can handle anything that the..." He paused, unwilling to say the name; "...The Bad Lady does to me."
Kochanski handed him a glass of champagne and they raised a toast before settling down to eat loads of yummy cake.
There! He can't say I never do anything nice for him! I know a few of you won't have read a couple of the fics mentioned here, but they are available at the RDSS at ! (I know. I'm a PR whore...)