She critically studied her face in the bathroom mirror. She ran her fingers over the contours of her face, the shape of her nose, the arch of her brows and the faint crinkles next to her eyes and mouth. She looked much older than nineteen, the wrinkles and sun damage on her face aging her a few years. Her mousy brown locks were streaked from being outdoors so much. She gently smoothed some balm over her chapped lips and rubbed them together a few times. She went into the bedroom and examined the girl sleeping peacefully on the small bed. Their features were identical, down to the last strand of hair and fleck of gold in their brown eyes. She smiled kindly at the sleeping form of Hermione and tucked the thin blanket around her a little tighter before caressing her face gently. The poor girl had too much to deal with as it was, without adding the troubles of her best friend to the mix. So Tonks had slipped her a mild sleeping draught, something to calm her and let her get the rest she needed and deserved. This had the added advantage of allowing Tonks to take on her appearance without any awkward questions as to why there were two Hermione's running around. She gave the sleeping girl one last stroke on her worn out face before quickly and quietly exiting the bedroom and locking the door behind her. She slowly descended the stairs and made her way to the Black family study where she knew she would find him brooding that night. The door was ajar and she knocked softly, disturbing him.
"Harry?" she ventured.
"Come in, Hermione." His voice was deep and full of pain. He knew she would be the one to come. She entered the dimly lit room and saw him sitting in the large brown armchair, which he had dragged from in front of the desk to over by the window, where he was watching the setting sun. He didn't look up at her, just kept his eyes on the horizon. She knelt down next to the chair, facing him, silently wishing he would look at her. She stayed silent, waiting for him to speak. Hermione wouldn't push him to talk about something this painful, she would let him open up to her, let him set the tone. So Tonks remained reticent and simply stared out the window, looking at the colors that played in the sky. When he finally did speak, she almost jumped, his voice was so deep, his words so sudden and sorrowful.
"She always loved watching sunsets." He still did not move, wanting to soak in every detail of the scene before it faded to darkness. Tonks remembered. She remembered how he used to sit with his young love every evening at dusk, outside when it was deemed safe enough, inside when it was not. They had always assumed the same position, she would crawl into his lap and wrap her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. Her eyes would peek out to watch the sun though. His hand would stroke her soft red hair, play with it and twirl it around his fingers. Many times he had held a handful up to the dying light just to see the colors dance on her hair. He loved the colors.
Slowly Tonks rose from her kneeling position and crawled into his lap. It seemed like something Hermione would do, to comfort her friend. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she had seen Ginny do countless times and placed her face in the curve of his neck and shoulder. But she didn't peek out at the sunset. She kept her eyes closed and just breathed softly, hoping he would move to hold her. And then she felt his hand come up to stroke her hair. Just gently petting her. She snuggled her face into his body a little deeper, held him just a little bit tighter. He let the strands of her hair slowly slip through his fingertips. After a few minutes passed, his hand changed its course. He began stroking her hair from beneath the layers, at the nape of her neck. Her senses awoke and she let out a soft sigh, her lips barely brushing his neck. He played with the soft hairs, twirling them around his fingers. The motion felt soft and familiar. Remus used to do that after they made love and the passionate memories stirred in her mind. She let him hold her in his arms, knowing he rarely let someone touch him, much less hold someone so closely.
He began to brush the hair off of her neck and the side of her face that wasn't buried in his shoulder. He then caressed her gently with one of his rough hands, his palm and fingers covering the whole back and side of her slender neck. He rubbed small circles with his thumb. Her skin was soft as silk and pleasantly warm. The sensations he produced made her body hum. She could feel the steady and slow beating of his heart through their shirts and knew he could feel hers start to race. She knew he could feel her breathing rate start to increase with every little puff of air that escaped her lips to land on his neck. Then the circles began to slow and finally stopped. She lifted her head to look at him, to gage his reaction. Her eyes found his green ones as the light from the last few rays of sun reflected in his orbs and danced slowly across his gaze. The colors floated around and distorted. She loved the colors.
She saw his eyes look elsewhere. They were focused further down on her face, staring at her lips. He leaned forward, tentatively seeking her mouth with his. His lips found their target just as the sun slipped below the horizon, and they rested there a moment before he pressed them more firmly and held her head steady with his hand. The same hand that had been rubbing soothing circles while she laid in his arms. She let him kiss her, let him work his lips against her own. She kissed him back, albeit with less passion than he put into it. She didn't want him to develop feelings for her while she was in the form of Hermione. It would abuse the trust that the twosome had. He finally pulled away from her and looked into her eyes.
"Hermione," he barely whispered. She raised her eyebrows to let him know she was listening.
"Hermione, will you leave, too?" His voice was so filled with emotion it nearly broke her heart.
"Why would I leave you, Harry?" Tonks knew Hermione would never purposely leave Harry and their friendship by the wayside.
"Everyone I've ever reached out to love has left me. You're the only one that hasn't gone, but now I'm afraid you're going to leave as well. Will you?" Tonks felt saddened that Harry did not think of her. She had not left him either, but she supposed Hermione was so much closer to Harry than she herself was. That was the whole reason she had come to him as Hermione, because she knew he would open up to her more if she did.
"I promise I'll try my hardest not to leave you. It would break my heart if I did." Which was true for both herself and Hermione. She wanted to comfort him in this vulnerable state, so she gave him what he needed. This time she kissed him, and put all of her feelings into it. She kissed him and put her concern and care for him into it. She kissed him and put her sorrow for the loss of her love Remus into it. She kissed him with all the love she had ever felt in her life, hoping he would feel loved, too.
He received her kiss and felt her emotions. His hand cupped her face as they explored the feel of each other. His tongue finally darted forward to be met by her own. The emotions grew more passionate as the kiss deepened. Memories flitted through her brain of the brief happiness she had with Remus before he was taken from her. Scenes of their lovemaking that had burned themselves into her brain, the way he would cup her breast or stroke her thigh. She shifted in his lap, pressing her hips into his. A groan escaped his lips before he whispered.
"Ginny..." The effect was immediate. He separated his face from hers and removed his hands.
"Hermione, I'm so sorry. It just slipped out..." He looked up at her with fear in his eyes. Now was the time when he was most afraid she would leave him.
"I'm not going anywhere, Harry." She picked up his hands and held them in her own. She kissed each finger in turn, looking up into his bewildered face each time.
"It's not me you need right now, it's her. Tonight you should remember her. Please, let me help you remember your love." He stared at her for a minute before closing his eyes and nodding. She reached forward slowly and removed his glasses, carefully folding them and placing them on the nearby desk. She then stroked his face, his eyes still closed. He relaxed more under her touch and she leaned closer. This time the kiss was soft, sweet. She gently moved her mouth against his, willing him to respond. One of his hands moved to the back of her head, buried in her hair, the other moved to her waist, gently stroking the skin exposed by her slightly raised shirt. She moaned and opened her mouth asking for him to deepen their kiss again. His tongue ventured once more into her mouth and explored, running the tip over the roof of her mouth and sending shock waves down her spine. The hand that was previously tangled in her hair moved down to help the other remove Tonks' shirt. That task completed, Harry kissed her briefly on the mouth before moving to her neck. She sighed and tilted her head back. He lowered one strap of her bra, then the other, running his hardened hands over her smooth shoulders. She shifted her body forward her hips grinding into his as his mouth moved down to her collarbone. She grabbed the back of his t-shirt, tugging it over his head and tousling his already messy hair. Her hands ran over his chest muscles quickly before she began tracing a long jagged scar over his shoulder and left arm. He stopped kissing her body and looked over at her hand. When he looked back at her eyes he saw she was watching him. He leaned forward and gently kissed her on the mouth. She fervently kissed him back and he began to unbutton her pants. He slipped them off the curve of her behind and held her bum in his hands, pressing her hips harder into his own. She gasped into his mouth and broke the kiss with a moan. She got up from the chair, quickly removed her pants and straddled him once more.
Tonks hadn't been with a man since Remus and the sensations were almost overwhelming to her. Still, she continued on, knowing the next step toward the end was hers. She struggled to unbutton his pants and tugged on the zipper. He put his weight on his arms and lifted his hips off the chair so she could remove his pants. She pulled both his jeans and his boxers down with a couple of swift tugs. His erection was free and hard. She pulled her panties to the side, exposing herself to him. She crashed her lips into his and lowered herself onto him. His whole body tensed as he entered her and she pressed her upper body to his, breaking the rough kiss. He steadied her hips as she began to move up and down on him. They just moved together for several minutes, building up slowly. Her legs started to tire from the motion, but she kept moving toward her goal. Several more minutes passed and Tonks could feel him getting closer. She buried her face in his neck once more, still riding him. She softly whispered in his ear,
"Harry..." He groaned loudly and she knew she had finished him. She continued to move against him for a few more seconds to draw out his climax. She finally slowed to a stop and began softly kissing his collarbone to soothe his racing heart. She gave him one more searing kiss before she clambered off of his lap. She pulled on her pants and tugged her shirt over her head. She started toward the door and before she left he called out to her.
"Hermione?" She turned, momentarily surprised, having forgotten for a minute who she appeared to be. His voice was weak and tired now. But it wasn't as sad as when she had first walked in.
"Yes, Harry?" Tonks replied.
"You- well you didn't- you know..." He trailed off and she realized what he meant. He was concerned she hadn't climaxed. She gave him a sad smile.
"I didn't need to. Tonight was about you. About remembering."