Franken – Funnies
A/N: Just a little something I made for fun in high school when I was required to read this book.
"Justine is going to be hanged tomorrow for a crime she didn't commit, but she knows nothing of the deep and bitter anguish that I feel." – Frankenstein (106)
"I didn't want to kill them. My alter ego made me do it." – Creature (266)
"Elizabeth, your worrying is ruining my good mood. And that's saying a lot because I'm never happy." - Frankenstein (234)
"I should have been easing my family's grief over the loss of William, but I was too busy moping. Besides, it's not like their grief was anything compared to mine." – Frankenstein to Walton
"Henry, I'm sorry I'm such a downer. Why don't you continue on alone, and leave me to wallow in self-pity by myself. Perhaps, in the dark, on an isolated island, surrounded by human corpses?" I should probably mention that there is a giant killer after my friends and family, but I think I'll just keep that to myself. – Frankenstein
"They rejected me. So even though they're poor, I'm going to burn down their house and rip up their crops." – Creature (168)
"Frankenstein created me. So I'm going to take it out on his family and friends who had absolutely nothing to do with it." – Creature
Creature – "Okay, so I killed your brother, but listen to how pitiful I am. I'm like a giant ugly puppy. I just want to be loved… Oh, and if you don't make me an ugly wife I'll murder your entire family." (122)
Frankenstein – Hmmm, I didn't quite catch that last part. Oh well, I'm sure it wasn't anything important."
Creature- "I may have murdered his entire family, but you have no idea how hard that was on me!" (266)
Walton- "What the heck?"
Creature- "Oh, you wouldn't understand. Nobody does."
Walton- "Go figure."
"Felix is coming. I should try to look as docile and amiable as possible by grabbing his blind father. There's no way that could possibly be misunderstood." – Creature (164)
"Why don't you blame Felix? Sure he didn't know me and I was grabbing his blind father, but that's no excuse." – Creature (268)
Frankenstein- *Destroys Franken-Fran* "Ha! I've destroyed your last hope for happiness. What could you possibly do now?"
Creature- "I'm going to murder your friend and your fiancé."
Frankenstein- "I'm sorry, what? I couldn't hear you. Could you repeat that?"
Creature- "I said I'm going to murder your-"
Frankenstein- *covers ears* "La la la, I can't hear youuu!"
Creature- "I shall be with you on your wedding night." *Creature leaves*
Frankenstein- "So, he plans to kill me on my wedding night…"
Frankenstein- "Hey, Creature, how did you learn to speak so eloquently in only six years?
Creature- "How did you make me out of rotting body parts and #$%^&?"
Frankenstein- "Touché."
Redo:
Frankenstein- "Hey, Creature, how did you learn to speak so eloquently in only six years?
Creature- "I believe you accidently placed John Milton's brain in my skull.
Frankenstein- "That would explain a lot."
Frankenstein- *After reading Elizabeth's letter* "Six years isn't that long, Elizabeth." (79)
Interview with Frankenstein
Q: Alright, so let me get this straight. Your little brother is dead. Justine is dead. Henry Clerval is dead. Elizabeth is dead, and your father is dead. Is that about everyone?
A: Well, actually, you forgot to mention me.
Q:… *coughs* So, that's everyone then?
A: Yes.
Q: So your whole family's dead?
A: Yes. They were all murder by that accursed archfiend.
Q:Except for your father.
A: Even if that wretch didn't harm my father directly, my father's soul was broken due to his wickedness.
Q:Right. And what about Ernest?
A: Who?
Q: Ernest, your brother. He gets about a page of dialogue, and then we never hear from him again.
A: *covers ears* La la la, I can't hear youuu!
Q: O_O
Interview with Creature
Q: What do you think of your movie incarnation?
A: I believe him to be uncouth and barbaric, yet at the same time, a reflection of a childlike innocence that I once possessed.
Q: Boring.
A: I could easily kill you and everyone you love for insulting me.
Q: What a thought provoking and interesting reply.
A: *smiles smugly*
Interview with Elizabeth
A: ….
Q: ... She's a corpse. She doesn't talk much.