"I've faced a lot of rejection."

The answer made Erzsébet sigh. She had been hard working with this, persistent, and had now asked the same question three times. Each time, she had been given a vague response in the negative.

Her affection for Natalya Arlovskaya was a strange one, most people thought. Natalya was often there in the background, stood by Erzsébet like a guard dog that she didn't really need, observing people with dark eyes and a blank, unimpressed expression. The Belarusian claimed that she would break bones for the sake of Erzsébet, said she would gut her enemies like fish if they dared try and antagonise her.

And Erzsébet only laughed at these threats. The elder of the two, she was calmer and softer, only furious when prodded and poked.

"I know, Nat. But how can I reject you when I'm the one asking you out?" Erzsébet asked, nibbling at her ice cream cone, sat on a park bench and watching groups of children play on the grass a short walk away. The weather was humid; the sun was bright and sweat inducing. Such weather brought out Natalya's marble skin, prone to burning without the proper protection.

Natalya did not like sweet food. She also did not share Erzsébet's passion for 'cute' looking boys, or for cooking. Her heart had originally been stolen by a broad shouldered, handsome man. And despite her best intentions and tactics - poor Natalya was not a good strategist - her attempts to hand over her beating heart had been consistently rejected, leaving her lonesome and cold.

She wondered whether she should not have told him, that handsome, sweet boy, her feelings. They got on well, when she kept her feelings concealed and pretended that she did not wonder if his lips would be soft and warm against hers.

It was Erzsébet who had befriended her first, after her decision to stray away from her beloved and unattainable Ivan.

They had met at the gym. Natalya was a lithe and talented gymnast, and went to train very often. It helped her clear her head and purge emotions that she didn't know how to word in her diary.

Erzsébet, however, went to swim. She could spend hours upon hours simply going backwards and forwards doing laps in the water, her long hair weightless and flowing around her. And she knew Natalya. She had seen the way she performed in the gym, sometimes with such aggression that her vaults and acrobatics seemed like attacks on invisible opponents.

The Hungarian had told her so, in the changing room, intentionally choosing to stand where she could talk to the enigmatic and fierce gymnast.

The first thing that had struck Erzsébet was how beautiful Natalya was. She noticed that her eyelashes were partially blonde, that her cheek bones were sharp, her hair was fine and flaxen.

And being a little brash, Erzsébet had told her so: "You're so pretty," she had remarked with a frivolous giggle and a warm smile.

Of course, Natalya had at first tried to resist friendship. She knew she was pretty. A nosy young woman didn't need to inform her or such a thing.

But then, the conversations in the changing rooms became more common. Had Erzsébet picked times to try and bump into her favourite Belarusian?

No. But Natalya had done. She was lonely and glum, and the feeling was lightened when she was around Erzsébet. The swimmer laughed at her stoic remarks and told her to smile each time they parted ways.

Phone numbers were eventually exchanged, and Natalya integrated into Erzsébet's normal social life, much to the dismay of her regular friends.

"We would break up eventually," Natalya pointed out, standing up from her seat on the bench and watching Erzsébet do the same. They began to walk. "Love is a great thing. However, it also has many ways of making a person feel like shit."

She didn't mention that she wanted to talk to Erzsébet more elaborately about the greatness of love. Nor did she mention that she wished they could sing together - Erzsébet loved scary songs so much, and Natalya wondered whether her singing voice was as she imagined - and that she wished they could walk in the woods and perhaps kiss amongst ferns and flowers and Erzsébet would say the words again and again and tell her that she was hers.

Natalya did not mention any of this because the closer she got, the more it would hurt when eventually, finally, with a sense of resentment and bitter frustration, the pair cut ties once and for all.

After that, Erzsébet would no longer come and see her in the gym, or intentionally meet her in the changing rooms. If they ever did meet, she would ignore her as they both got changed in different corners of the room, maybe glance at her with a cold look in her eyes that would send a chill up Natalya's spine. Perhaps she would find a new gym all together.

Perhaps she would also find a cute boy.

"That's a very negative thing to say. I think we'd be happy together. Have you never wondered what it would be like…?" Erzsébet sounded a little pleading: please, Natalya, consider my feelings for you.

Please consider the way I would like to hold your hand and brush your hair, and comfort you in the evenings when you say you worry about the way we are all slowly dying and lapsing and fading. Let me kiss your lips and explain the way you make my veins flood with adoration and admiration for you, the feeling like an internal wash of pleasant lava all through my body. Listen to me when I tell you that you are like a real life princess and that you are not pointless in the way that you think life is, and all I want to do is be there by your side.

Please, please let me love you. And if possible, please try and love me back.

Natalya glanced at the other, a weary and cautious look resting on her features. "Of course I've thought about it."

There was a hesitant pause.

"Was it nice?"

"Very."

Then, after that confession, there was more silence. Natalya had a habit of drifting into her thoughts, but was currently trying not to think at all.

The pair walked from the park towards town, which was busy due to the charming weather. It was easier to ignore one another when there was a flurry of people surrounding them, all of them with conversations and places to go.

However, Erzsébet did not enjoy this silence, anxious to have an answer or some sort of conversation. She could be quite the chatter box, her speech becoming rougher and less delicate, boyish, as she became excitable and giddy.

It was endearing, but that was not the way she was speaking now.

"Natalya, please," she sighed as she stopped in her tracks, making sure to stand to the side, so as not to get in people's way. Erzsébet was wondering whether Natalya's reluctance to date her, when clearly there was something more to their relationship, was just another stroke of her persistent bad luck. She had not been informed about Ivan in detail. Natalya had played it off as a silly, girlish crush that meant very little to her. "Just a yes or a no - that's all I need. I can't keep waiting for you if you're never going to let me come in."

"I can't give you a yes or no answer," Natalya replied dismissively. When she was unsure of herself, she often became defensive. "Do what you like."

The way that the Belarusian was treating the situation was beginning to irritate Erzsébet. Did Natalya not realise how much this all meant to her? "Why can't you just say yes or no?" she demanded testily, trying to meet Natalya's eyes. "There's no need to lead me on, if you're not interested."

Their eyes did meet, unfortunately. "I don't want to give you up," came the reluctant response.

There were various things that Natalya could not and would not give up. She would not give up smoking cigarettes when she was stressed or frustrated. She would not give up her fondness for vodka, and would not give up drinking it. She could not give up her gymnastics.

And she also did not want to give up Erzsébet. If she admitted her feelings, would Erzsébet not simply get to know her more and discover her various faults? Would she not call her selfish and intolerant and tell her that she was over protective and hard to be with? That she smelt of smoke too often? That it was annoying when she anxiously lay awake all night, staring at the ceiling with a scowl on her face?

And what if she didn't admit her feelings? Obviously Erzsébet would stop talking to her, so that her romantic feelings could die down and settle.

Either way, Erzsébet would lose all affection for her. And again, she would be lonely; a girl at the gym who went home and thought about death far too much, with no distraction other than the television. She would sit and make black tea for one person now, as Erzsébet would not come around and ask for a cup, too. There would be no trips at the weekend to shop together, nobody to talk to about supernatural occurrences that Natalya had such a great interest in, nobody to admire fondly.

And most importantly, there would be nobody telling Natalya to smile more often.

Before Erzsébet could continue and argue her point, Natalya went on. "I'm strong enough to be without you. I don't need you. But I don't want you to leave me, and I don't want to tell you all this…all this stupid shit inside my head if you're just going to end up leaving me and telling all your stupid friends about that stupid, creepy girl who you sort of liked for a while."

She didn't want Erzsébet to further understand that she was made of soft skin and a warm beating heart, rather than ice and steel and iron. Natalya was a framework of pulsing veins and milky bones, just like everybody else.

Erzsébet knew that. She knew that she was tough, but not as tough as she liked to appear. And she knew that Natalya was only nineteen, as young and as tender as any other girl of that age, despite her cynical tongue and narrowed eyes.

"I love you."

The words slipped from the Hungarian's mouth far too quickly, as if each syllable had been covered in oil. The woman's apple green eyes stayed firmly on Natalya, watching her uneasy expression, the way her brows furrowed and how her nose wrinkled.

This was supposed to be happy. For God's sake, this was supposed to be so happy. Everybody around them, even the weather, was outdoing them with such a cheerful demeanour.

And so, Erzsébet turned to leave, unable to face Natalya due to the dragging weight on her heart, the downwards spiral that she felt in her stomach. Obviously, she had ruined things.

Should she have stopped asking after the first time?

Even though Natalya had never, not once, said no?

Even though Natalya could be so merciless?

Even though Natalya had seemed to be waiting a little longer, waiting for something to happen, so that she could accept?

Erzsébet couldn't help but think that she had got it all wrong.

Watching the brunette turn away from her, ready to walk away, Natalya felt a surge of unpleasant and potent emotion. She too was aching from the encounter.

Did Erzsébet mean it?

Or was she simply infatuated with Natalya's good looks?

Fuck. Don't walk away like that. Not after you just said it.

"Erzsébet, wait," Natalya said quite urgently, grabbing onto the other woman's hand in the way that a small child would grab, unwilling to be patient. "Did you mean it?"

"Of course I meant it."

"Then say it again."

This time, Erzsébet could say it in a calmer manner. She turned to face Natalya, and then repeated: "I love you, Nat. I love you."

Part of the Belarusian's stomach shrivelled with disbelief. She wasn't sure why. Another part of her was elated, crying out to say it back, telling her that this was okay and this was good and pure and lovely.

Telling her to smile.

"Tell me that you're mine," Natalya continued, as if testing Erzsébet, seeing if she could give all the correct answers.

There was no hesitation. "I'll happily be yours if you'll be mine, too."

Then, there was hesitation. "Say it again."

"I love you."

Erzsébet was giving all the right answers. It was reassuring that she had scored one hundred percent, so far. And now, she was scoring bonus points, opening her arms for Natalya.

Surprisingly, in a way, the Belarusian took the offer. She crept closer to Erzsébet, hanging her arms around her neck, completely oblivious to all the people existing around them as Erzsébet closed her arms around her, enveloping her and kissing her cheek and repeating the three words, soft and warm against her skin. Loving.

When Natalya tried to say it back, it was like foul regurgitation; the way she said it was clunky compared to how Erzsébet made it sound. Her heart was beating rapidly, similar to the flustered beat of a small bird's wings. Part of her couldn't believe she had said it. She had never said it to Ivan, and yet, the words had jumped from her lips thoughtlessly for Erzsébet. It was almost unnerving. Scary to think that her feelings were so potent.

None of that mattered to Erzsébet, however. A bright smile graced her lips, visible to Natalya once they eventually pulled back from each other, so acutely aware that the feelings they both felt were apparently mutual. The Belarusian didn't return the smile; she looked dumbstruck. All of that fierceness, that attitude that had first attracted Erzsébet was paused. It didn't matter. She was lovely.

"I'm glad that you didn't give up asking," Natalya recalled as they walked through town, not hand in hand as of yet, but letting their hands bump along each other's without a fuss. Things would be slow moving for them, most probably.

The comment made Erzsébet laugh. "I always thought I was unlucky, Nat, but I guess they're right when they say that third time's the charm."