First Revised Chapter I'm writing it over again so it fits with OOTP.
Unfortunately that means I have to change how Rachel and Sirius met because
Sirius's parents would never have let him go to a Muggle school. So some
plot details will have changed a lot. You'll just have to read to find
out.
If you'd like to read the original the link is
So here is the new chapter one. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Rachel Leiberman looked apprehensively at the Hogwarts Express. It stood tall and shockingly scarlet against the gray stone of the platform. Well it wasn't actually the train she was looking at, more the crowd of students and their families that were mingling around it. Most of them students were greeting old friends and catching up on the events of their summers and the new first years were getting acquainted. At the moment Rachel felt more kindred to them than any student close to her age for she too would be entering Hogwarts for the first time.
Until this year she had attended Beauxbatons School for Witchcraft and Wizardry but was being sent to Hogwarts as her family felt she was too out of touch with the English speaking world and were evidently afraid she would forget how to speak English entirely. They needed not worry as it was a vital part of the curriculum, but they had not listened to her when she had informed them. Rachel didn't entirely mind as she was against going to the French school in the beginning, but she had gotten used to it and was a bit nervous about starting at a new school so late in her education.
She glanced around once more and was glad to see she hadn't attracted any attention. She liked it that way, she could just slip on the train and worry about meeting people later. She wasn't shy, exactly, just a bit reclusive, preferring her own company to that of others. That may have had something to do with the general temperament of the Beauxbatons girls toward her, but either way she was glad that no one noticed her, or so she thought.
Rachel tended to stick out a lot. She was 5'9" at fifteen years old and had blond hair that, though was never worn in anything but a bun, reached her hips when let down. However these were not the only things that made her stick out. She was dressed in what seemed to be a cross of popular wizarding and muggle clothing. She had on a blue shirt and gray lose fitting pants and a pair of dragon hide boots. (AN: Yes I feel that the senseless slaughtering of dragons is wrong but this will be a point later in the story.) As she hoisted what seemed to be an extremely heavy shoulder bag off her trolley, the muscles in her biceps flexed, showing any who might have been watching that this was not a girl to tangle with. She crossed the platform and was about to stow her trunk aboard when someone tapped her on the shoulder.
"Need some help?" a boy about half an inch shorter than her asked. He had rather long black hair that flopped into his eyes as he flashed her what he clearly though was a charming grin. Rachel supposed it was, but at the moment she wasn't exactly in the mood. He looked strangely familiar but she couldn't place him.
"No thanks, I think I've got it," she said as she lifted her trunk onto the train. He seemed stunned for a moment; she supposed he wasn't refused often. Rachel glanced around and realized that many of the girls were getting assistance from their friends and family members. She smiled wryly as she saw one girl try to pick hers up without assistance and fail miserably. She turned back to the boy who had offered his help with a small smile pasted on her face.
"I don't need help, but I think she could use some," Rachel said, pointing to the girl who she had observed a few moments before. She was still struggling, but soon a boy with messy black hair that seemed to somehow defy gravity strolled up to her and offered his assistance. He smiled smugly as she struggled and failed and it was no small wonder she snapped at him, blatantly refusing. The boy Rachel had spoken to shook his head and sighed.
"Some how I don't think she'd appreciate that," he sighed. Rachel nodded and walked over to the girl herself. She had shocking red hair and, as Rachel saw as she stood up, bright green eyes. Somewhat cautiously Rachel approached her.
"Would you like some help?" she asked. "I've just gotten my trunk stowed and I noticed you were having some trouble." The girl nodded wearily.
"That'd be nice, bloody thing's so heavy I had trouble getting it here in the first place." Rachel took one end as the redheaded girl took the other and together they lifted it. It was heavy and Rachel staggered a bit under the weight at first. However they managed to get it on board the train before the whistle blew. Sighing with relief the girl straightened and stuck her hand out to Rachel.
"Thanks for the help. I'm Lily Evans. I haven't seen you around before. Are you new?"
"Yes I'm a transfer from Beauxbatons."
"You don't seem to have much of an accent."
"That's because I'm originally from England, but I went there because my parents wanted me to. I'm Rachel Leiberman by the way."
"Nice to meet you. We should find a compartment before they're all taken and I'll introduce you to my friends.
"Sure."
"C'mon then." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ What'd you think? Good, bad, review! I know it seems different but that's because I have to focus on the rivalry between the Marauders and Lily and Rachel more than having Snape or Malfoy, like in the original. It shall all become clear soon. If you haven't read the original you should. It's not crucial but it may give you an idea about what the story was going to be like before the OOTP came out.
So here is the new chapter one. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Rachel Leiberman looked apprehensively at the Hogwarts Express. It stood tall and shockingly scarlet against the gray stone of the platform. Well it wasn't actually the train she was looking at, more the crowd of students and their families that were mingling around it. Most of them students were greeting old friends and catching up on the events of their summers and the new first years were getting acquainted. At the moment Rachel felt more kindred to them than any student close to her age for she too would be entering Hogwarts for the first time.
Until this year she had attended Beauxbatons School for Witchcraft and Wizardry but was being sent to Hogwarts as her family felt she was too out of touch with the English speaking world and were evidently afraid she would forget how to speak English entirely. They needed not worry as it was a vital part of the curriculum, but they had not listened to her when she had informed them. Rachel didn't entirely mind as she was against going to the French school in the beginning, but she had gotten used to it and was a bit nervous about starting at a new school so late in her education.
She glanced around once more and was glad to see she hadn't attracted any attention. She liked it that way, she could just slip on the train and worry about meeting people later. She wasn't shy, exactly, just a bit reclusive, preferring her own company to that of others. That may have had something to do with the general temperament of the Beauxbatons girls toward her, but either way she was glad that no one noticed her, or so she thought.
Rachel tended to stick out a lot. She was 5'9" at fifteen years old and had blond hair that, though was never worn in anything but a bun, reached her hips when let down. However these were not the only things that made her stick out. She was dressed in what seemed to be a cross of popular wizarding and muggle clothing. She had on a blue shirt and gray lose fitting pants and a pair of dragon hide boots. (AN: Yes I feel that the senseless slaughtering of dragons is wrong but this will be a point later in the story.) As she hoisted what seemed to be an extremely heavy shoulder bag off her trolley, the muscles in her biceps flexed, showing any who might have been watching that this was not a girl to tangle with. She crossed the platform and was about to stow her trunk aboard when someone tapped her on the shoulder.
"Need some help?" a boy about half an inch shorter than her asked. He had rather long black hair that flopped into his eyes as he flashed her what he clearly though was a charming grin. Rachel supposed it was, but at the moment she wasn't exactly in the mood. He looked strangely familiar but she couldn't place him.
"No thanks, I think I've got it," she said as she lifted her trunk onto the train. He seemed stunned for a moment; she supposed he wasn't refused often. Rachel glanced around and realized that many of the girls were getting assistance from their friends and family members. She smiled wryly as she saw one girl try to pick hers up without assistance and fail miserably. She turned back to the boy who had offered his help with a small smile pasted on her face.
"I don't need help, but I think she could use some," Rachel said, pointing to the girl who she had observed a few moments before. She was still struggling, but soon a boy with messy black hair that seemed to somehow defy gravity strolled up to her and offered his assistance. He smiled smugly as she struggled and failed and it was no small wonder she snapped at him, blatantly refusing. The boy Rachel had spoken to shook his head and sighed.
"Some how I don't think she'd appreciate that," he sighed. Rachel nodded and walked over to the girl herself. She had shocking red hair and, as Rachel saw as she stood up, bright green eyes. Somewhat cautiously Rachel approached her.
"Would you like some help?" she asked. "I've just gotten my trunk stowed and I noticed you were having some trouble." The girl nodded wearily.
"That'd be nice, bloody thing's so heavy I had trouble getting it here in the first place." Rachel took one end as the redheaded girl took the other and together they lifted it. It was heavy and Rachel staggered a bit under the weight at first. However they managed to get it on board the train before the whistle blew. Sighing with relief the girl straightened and stuck her hand out to Rachel.
"Thanks for the help. I'm Lily Evans. I haven't seen you around before. Are you new?"
"Yes I'm a transfer from Beauxbatons."
"You don't seem to have much of an accent."
"That's because I'm originally from England, but I went there because my parents wanted me to. I'm Rachel Leiberman by the way."
"Nice to meet you. We should find a compartment before they're all taken and I'll introduce you to my friends.
"Sure."
"C'mon then." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ What'd you think? Good, bad, review! I know it seems different but that's because I have to focus on the rivalry between the Marauders and Lily and Rachel more than having Snape or Malfoy, like in the original. It shall all become clear soon. If you haven't read the original you should. It's not crucial but it may give you an idea about what the story was going to be like before the OOTP came out.