It was dark. Not dark enough so that Foaly couldn't see, but dark enough so that any fairy with half a brain could tell that the sun strips in the tunnel were set on the "night" setting, as many of said fairies called it. He snorted. Honestly, you'd think they'd at least appreciate my genius with a few oohs and ahhs, but no, they just have to simplify the really good names until they can understand the basic function of the device to come up with something completely insulting.
"D'Arvit!!" Foaly leaped slightly before realizing three things: one, it was a swear toad that swore; two, he looked a little suspicious with a sack and a shovel while he was standing at the corner of a tunnel; and three, he had been standing there for a good ten minutes.
Muttering something about the stupidity of love and ignorance of female centaurs (like a particular one whose name begins with "C" and ends with "aballine," he thought grumpily), he started trotting down the tunnel and turned right.
Okay, where's that spot? I know it's down here somewhere, since I found it just last week when she started "hinting" about it. Oh, here it is, nice and quiet.
He paused, looking around several times before slinging the sack off his back and putting it gently on the ground. Then he started to dig.
Either I do this or Caballine goes, she says. Next time she asks, I'm NOT going with her to the movie theater to see a chick flick.
After a good half hour of work, though it seemed much longer (note to self: lift some weights in addition to running each morning), the hole was big enough. He tenderly put the sack in it, and then put dirt back into the hole. Finally the deed was done.
Now I get to go home, say the eulogy, and climb into bed, all alone... D'Arvit! I chose tonight because Caballine is visiting her mother! Still, it would have been nice to have a friend around for this.
"Bye, old friend," he whispered, giving the ground a final tap with a hoof. Then he ran home, trying not to tap his hooves on the ground too loudly.
The next day, in his Section Eight lab, Foaly was busy working when one of the newer and pimplier interns poked his head in to ask the centaur to sign something.
"Um... Sir, I really need this signed before Commander Vinyaya will approve of letting me test my... new..." The intern took a better look at the centaur, and quickly pulled his head around to his side of the door. He then started laughing while running down the corridor.
Foaly, wearing a black armband and no tinfoil hat, glared at the door. I'm going to ask Vinyaya if I can change the corridor to the much more vengeful plasma floor. Just as soon as I get some of my confidence back. Hopefully, it'll return before everyone in the building sees.He sighed and turned back to the computer screen. Five seconds later, he started to curse female centaurs, love, and male patterned baldness. Caballine was going to laugh so hard when she came back from her mother's place.
And I seriously wish I cared...
Caballine arrived home a little late. It wasn't HER fault her mother was kicking every attendant mercilessly at the Sunny Oak Convalescent Home. It was still worth waiting five minutes to see all of the hulking attendants, specially trained for this sort of thing, get their rears kicked by a two thousand year old centaur, she thought with a twinge of guilt. She pressed the right combination into the lock pad and the door opened.
"Hey, Foaly! I'm back!" She called into the house.
Foaly came out of the kitchen, looking a little miffed. Caballine suppressed a snicker as she looked at his shiny head. Hasn't he even heard of Rogaine? She walked towards the bathroom, opened a cupboard below the sink, and pulled out the bottle.
"What's that?" Foaly felt a slight bit of hope.
"I went shopping before I left. I figured you'd get rid of the hat while I was gone."
"How'd you guess that I was bald?"
She snorted. " I know you. You are slightly paranoid, but not that much. Come on, let's figure out how this works."
Caballine's a genius! Foaly thought. Wow, I must be getting serious about this girl.
Please review. All flames will be kept away from the Redwood trees to prevent a repeat of the massive wildfire invasion, but bring them on anyway.