***Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or the song "Where You Are"
***This is just a short little thing I wrote when in one of those depressed, but romantic sappy moods. T.K. was about 15 when he moved and is now about 16. It's not much, just a little something I wrote about his feelings for Kari, kind of a shocker near the end. I had to repost this because I got a new e-mail address and account.
I Still Believe
Takeru Takashi sat down at his desk to write a letter. He looked out through his window at the San Francisco sky light, watching the fading light of the setting sun. That beautiful, golden light made him think of the one he loved, his soul mate, Hikari Kamiya. He could see her face in the sun, the bright rays radiating from her, like the warm light that always seemed to glow within her. He hadn't seen her since he and his mother moved to California. The past year had been unbearably hard without her, but some how, he persevered. He turned his attention from the sky to the picture on his desk. It was in an attractive wooden frame that accented the colors of the sunset perfectly. He looked at the couple in the picture, so happy, so carefree. This was taken just days before they found out about him moving. They were standing on a dock, holding hands, kissing each other for what must have been the millionth time, but like every kiss they shared, felt like the first. Yolie had come along and taken the picture without them noticing. Though they were a little mad at first, they later thanked her and had the picture blown up and framed.
He ran his fingers across the frame, then traced them around her face, wishing to God it was more than just a piece of paper under glass. A single tear ran down his cheek and softly landed on the photograph. He watched the tiny splash and suppressed the urge to allow more tears to fall. He loved her so much, and it was just so hard to believe he couldn't just walk down the street and see her smiling face. He couldn't hold her hand whenever he wanted, and wrap her in his arms to comfort her if she needed it, he couldn't even know if she did need it. His mother told him he was young, he would find somebody knew in America, but there would never be another Kari, ever. She just didn't understand.
He picked up a pen and pulled out a piece of the scented stationary Kari had given him before he left, making him promise to write. That wasn't something she had to try to force him do. He placed the tip of the pen to the paper like he had done every week for the past ten months and began to write:
Dear Kari,
Hi, how have u been? I've been all right I guess, but just not the same with out you. I know you've heard me say that before, but I still mean it every time I write it. Mimi visited from New York a few days ago to see how I was doing. She misses you too. Mom's good, but she worries about me. She keeps on telling me how the way I mope around the house isn't healthy. She just doesn't seem to understand what I'm going through. No one does, except you of course. It's so hard to keep going with out you, to keep going alone. Some days I wakeup and don't even know if getting out of bed is worth it. But then I think of you, and how if you were here, you'd tell me to go out and have some fun. Thinking of you is the only thing that's kept me going, and clinging to our memories is the only thing that's helped me cling to hope. Sometimes I forget what my crest means, and then I remember what yours means, and that light helps me find the strength to continue with my life. I love you Hikari Kamiya, with all of my heart and sole, with every fiber of my being. You and the love you've shown me have been my guiding light. I miss you Kari, and I'll never love another person the way I love you. I may have not kept the promise to keep you safe, but this is one promise I will die before I brake. I will never give up hope that we'll be reunited. I hope to hear from you soon.
Your True Love,
Takeru
He put the pen down and walked to his dresser where his portable radio was. He plugged in his headphones and placed them on his head, clipped the radio to one of the belt loops of his jeans, and picked up a piece of ribbon. It was the same kind of ribbon Kari would use to make hair ties in her free time. He returned to his desk, picked up the letter, and breathed in it's scent. It still held a trace of it's original smell, and it smelled like her. He rolled it up neatly and secured it with the ribbon. He then went into the kitchen, took out a bottle of soda, and left his apartment, letter still in hand.
He began walking to the beach, the warm breeze brightening his mood a little. Only a sliver of a deep pink sun remained on the horizon. It wasn't a long hike and he could already see the picturesque San Francisco shoreline. He wouldn't be home before dark, but he didn't mind. The afternoon was turning into another beautiful, California evening. He reached the boardwalk and crossed over to the sand. The soda was now gone, but he still carried the empty glass bottle.
He stood at the edge of the shore, where the sand met the water, and looked out over the rolling waves. Kari would love it here. He couldn't wait till she finally came to see it. It was such a clear night, the stars were so bright. They were so pretty, sparkling up there, and they reminded him of her eyes, though they didn't compare. The breeze caressed him, and he thought of the touch of her hand; the waves crashed and a few small drops gently landed on his face, reminding him of the kisses she had given him. It was then that the song playing on the radio really caught his attention. This was one of her favorite songs. It always made him think of her.
There are times
I swear I know you're here
I forget about my fears
Feelin you my dear
Watchin over me
My hope sees
What the future will bring
When you wrap me in your wings
And take me where you are
Where you and I will be together
Once again, we'll be dancin in the moonlight
Just like we used to do
And you'll be smilin back at me
Only then will I be free
When I can be, where you are
And I can see your face
Your kiss I still can taste
Not a memory erased
Oh, how I see your star
Shinin down on me
And I'd do anything
If I could just, be right there where you are
Where you and I will breathe together
Once again we'll be dancin in the moonlight
Just like we used to do
And you'll be smilin back at me (you'll be smilin back at me)
Only then will I be free
Then I will be free, so take me where you are
Now baby there are times when selfishly
I'm wishin that you were here with meSo I can wipe the tears from your eyes and make you see
That every night when you are dreamin
I'm here to guard you from afar
And anytime I feel in love
I'll close my eyes and dream of where you are
Where you are
Where you and I will breathe together
Once again we'll be dancin in the moonlight
Just like we used to do
And you'll be smilin back at me (you'll be smilin back at me)
Only then will I be free
Then I will be free,
Baby I still believe
Oh I gotta believe
I still believe
I will touch you that sweet day
That you take me there
Where you are (where you are)
I still believe
Whoooooa, I gotta believe
I still believe
I will touch you that sweet day
That you take me there
Where you are, oh where you are!
I still believe
I gotta believe
I still believe
I'll always be waiting here
That sweet day (that sweet day, yeah!)
I still believe...I still believe....
At hearing this song, he just collapsed, unable to control the wave of sadness and grief that had overcome him. It didn't matter if it had been ten months or ten years, the pain would never go away. His mind was racked with questions; Why her? Why so soon? Why didn't she listen? He had asked her not to run away, told her that he would go to her. Tear after tear continued to stream down his face as he remembered the day he received the news.
It had been two months since he had left Japan. They were desperately trying to think of a way to convince his mom to let him go home, but it was to no avail; she wouldn't be swayed. Kari had saved enough money to buy a one-way plane ticket and did just that. He had talked to her hours before her take off was scheduled, told her to stay where she was. He didn't want her coming to a strange country all alone, so far from home. But she laughed and told him he worried too much, that he was just like Yamato; told him she wouldn't be alone, he would be there. And she was right about that, he would be there for her, to protect her just like he promised the day they battled Piedmon.
The pain he felt only increased when he thought about how he had failed her. When he heard the news that her plain had gone down, he thought he had died and gone to Hell. It was like everything
he knew, his whole life, was crumbling around him. For days he didn't sleep or eat, waiting for the search and rescue team to bring her back to him. Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months. Bodies and survivors alike had been pulled from the wreckage, but some, including Kari, were never recovered. Before too long, the search party had given up, and soon after that, she had been pronounced dead, though her body hadn't been found.
For the next few weeks to come, he felt completely apathetic. Not only numb physically, but mentally and emotionally. He attended her funeral, but knew it shouldn't have been held. It wasn't right. There was no body in the casket, just a few personal belongings and things that friends and family had placed inside in honor of her. There were no signs that she had died, and as far as T.K. was concerned, she hadn't. He believed she was alive, and he thought as long as he did, she would be. Matt and his parents had tried to convince him otherwise, that he had to give up, move on, but he just couldn't. Some said he was in denial, but refused to believe she was gone.
He calmed himself down the best he could, sat up, and began rinsing out the empty bottle with the oceans water. He went through this nearly every time he wrote a letter to her, every week. He didn't know how much more his heart could take before it finally gave up, finally gave in to the pain and misery. Sometimes he considered suicide. After all, he was already emotionally dead. The day she left his life, a part of his soul died that only she could bring back to life. All he had to do was smash the bottle he held in his hand, giving him a jagged, makeshift knife. After that, there were several ways he could end his pain. But he could never bring himself to do it. That half of him that was still alive was due to the hope that she might someday return to him. If that did happen, he had to be there, waiting for her, just like she knew he would be.
He gave the letter a kiss and placed it into the bottle. He held it in his hands, saying a silent prayer that it would reach her, that she would know he hadn't given up or forgotten her. He stood up, wiping the tears from his eyes. He looked at the bottle one last time, and once again completed what had become a weekly ritual. He threw it into the ocean, as far as he could manage. He looked out over clear, calm water, and made a solemn vow to never love another. He would always keep his promise to write to her, every week, until he was reunited with his soul mate, Hikari Kamiya.
He turned to walk home, listening to the ocean breeze whisper through the trees. He could almost swear that he heard her voice whispering with it, and knew what she was saying. "I love you too", he whispered, looking back over his shoulder, out into the seemingly never-ending ocean. Turning again to leave, he knew, whether in this world or another, they would be together again. As he walked over the soft sand, he thought about the song that had touched him so deeply and repeated the last line, "I still believe…"
***Because of all of the good reviews I've received and encouragement to write more, I've already started a story to continue this. I should be done soon, so if u liked this, watch for it. Thanks everyone!!!