Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon A Time and never will. No copyright infringement intended.
Snow and James were enjoying a peaceful night at home for once. None of their children or grandchildren were causing a commotion, and it was nice to have that quiet, especially since Snow had been battling a headache for days. She stood up to grab a glass of water from the kitchen when she just collapsed. James rushed to his wife's side and immediately called for an ambulance. Once he realized she wasn't breathing, he began to perform CPR.
In the station, Emma heard the call come across the radio, and immediately headed towards her car to rush to the hospital to greet her parents there. She would later remember it as the last happy moment in her life for a long time before her whole world collapsed down around her.
She found her father sobbing in the emergency room and she stared at him. "Dad, what happened?" Emma didn't want to hear what he was about to say at all and wanted to could clap her hands over her ears, but that was a childish wish.
"Your mother collapsed and I tried everything I could to help her, but it was too late. She's gone, Emma. Your mother's dead." This wasn't supposed to happen. How was he supposed to deal with his wife dying? They had never planned for this.
Emma just blinked at him, uncomprehending of the words that had just come out of his mouth. "Dead? She can't be. Mom was just fine the last time I saw her. You're lying."
"I wish I was." James made a move to hug her, but Emma resisted and with numb fingers, dialed August's number. She wasn't even sure what she told her husband, but he was right there in front of her in less than ten minutes.
"Emma, are you with me?" An extremely worried August stared at his wife and tried to snap her out of the shock she was clearly in. James was sitting in a chair, curled in on himself and crying. August was out of his depth and unsure of what he should do next.
She blinked again and shook her head. "When did you get here?"
"Just now. Why don't you sit down and I'll find out what happened? I'm so sorry this happened, Baby." He kissed her on the forehead and went to go find a doctor to figure out what had caused his mother-in-law's death.
Emma swayed on her feet and would have collapsed to her knees had a nurse not caught her and led her to a chair. Within minutes, August had returned. "When did you get here?" she questioned her husband.
August was now really freaked out and worried. "They think she had an aneurysm and it burst, but they're going to do an autopsy to find out for sure." He hugged his wife, his heart breaking for her.
Emma was ready to start crying, but it was like everything had slowed down. Her emotions were all over the place and she couldn't get a grip on them. She couldn't think past the fact that her mother was dead, that she'd never see her alive, smiling or laughing or crying again. They were going to have to bury her. And how would her siblings and her own kids react? They adored Snow.
Emma blinked again and the next thing she knew, she was standing in a funeral home, next to a casket. "What time is it?" She wasn't sure why she had asked that, but she needed to know.
August looked at his watch. "It's about three in the afternoon and we're getting ready to go back to your parents' house before the next viewing." The sheer fact that she had talked was shocking since his wife had been out of it for three days. Because Emma wasn't exactly there and James was too upset to tell anyone anything, he had to be the one to break the news to family and friends that Snow had died. He never wanted to do something like that again because it had nearly broken him. He never wanted to see the look of devastation on Henry's face ever again. No one else had reacted well either, and August was now emotionally drained. He didn't mind, though. He'd gladly be strong for his family if they needed him to. He'd be their shoulder to cry on.
"Oh." Emma wasn't sure why that surprised her, but it did. It seemed like everything was still out of focus and she didn't like it at all. She didn't even want to be here. She wished her mother was still alive, just wanted to talk with her one last time. What had their last conversation been about? She couldn't even remember and it bothered her.
Emma trailed after her husband and oldest son as everyone filed out of the funeral home to go to James and Snow's house. Emma had to stop herself from crying as she entered the house because her mother's influence was everywhere. She was not going to fall apart. She couldn't. There were too many emotions swirling inside of her, and Emma couldn't take it anymore. As soon as she entered the living room, it was like a flip had switched, and she shut down completely. The second that occurred, Emma stopped worrying, even about the missing time. It should freak her out, that she couldn't remember a few days, but it didn't. Missing time didn't matter. She was okay, and that was all that mattered. And it was easy to convince herself of that fact.
"How you doing, Mom?" Henry, now twenty-eight, knew exactly what his mother was doing. She had never handled situations like this very well, and it seemed now she had reverted to how she was in the early days. He was planning on keeping an eye on her in the next few weeks or months because he expected the breakdown to be epic when it finally came.
She smiled at him. "I'm fine. How are you?"
"Pretty sad. I miss Grandma so much." It was the truth. He wasn't sure how life without his grandmother was going to go, but he already didn't like it. It was like his family had been damaged by her death, and it had only been a few days.
"I know you do, Kid, but we'll get through this." She then stopped talking to him and wandered off to another room, where she found her younger brother, Ryan, crying in a corner. Emma wanted to comfort the nineteen year old because she didn't like seeing him so upset, but at the same time, she didn't want to deal with his emotions when she had just gotten a grasp on her own. So she patted him on the shoulder and quickly left, passing her other brother, eighteen year old Liam, in the hallway.
"Mom, you look a little pale." Sixteen year old Melia had gone in the kitchen to grab a drink and kept bumping into Emma.
"I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I'm going to get something to eat. You hungry?" Emma was already sick of all the apologies and people worrying about her. Why didn't anyone understand that that she was dealing with it? She didn't need anyone else's help.
Melia shook her head. "I just grabbed something for Lucas, but we're okay. I love you, Mom. I just wanted you to know that." Her grandmother's death was reminding her that life was short and she just wanted her family to know how she felt about them. It was important.
"I love you too, Mel. I'll go find Lucas in a little while." She wondered how her sweet, sensitive twelve year old son was taking this and resolved to find him later to help him cope with his grief.
"Okay then." Melia suddenly worried that her mother wasn't coping at all with her grief. While she had been out of it for the past few days, her mother was now acting like everything was normal. It was a little creepy and terrifying. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought that her mother had grabbed something like a potion off Gold.
The next day, Snow was buried. James had to be held up by August and Henry, but he made it through relatively unscathed. Emma watched with disinterest and pushed back on the tears that wanted to escape. She locked them behind a keyless door, one that she definitely didn't want to open again. She also wanted to scream at everyone because their tears were driving her crazy. Why were they doing this? Everything was fine. They were all acting irrationally, not her.
As soon as the funeral was over with, Emma decided to head back to work. August wasn't in agreement with this plan and told her so. "Emma, you just lost your mother. There's other people at the station who can work so you don't have to. You're pushing yourself too hard right now." While he knew that she had shut down, it wasn't going to last long and the meltdown was going to surprise her. He was waiting for it, though.
She glared at her husband. "I am okay. There's no reason why I can't work. I'm sure Dad will be back at work soon. He needs money, after all."
August was speechless. He knew she said some off the wall things when she wasn't dealing with a situation, but that had truly shocked him. "Um, okay. I'm just worried about you, Em. You're not dealing with this and you need to. You lost your mother – It's okay to grieve. She wouldn't want you to act like this."
"Act like what? I fucking told you that I'm fine, August. Leave me the hell alone!" Emma wasn't sure where the anger had come from, but she locked it away too. She had no time at all for emotions, and the sooner everyone else figured that out, the better.
August was ready to scream at her just to get a reaction, but he didn't want to do that to her. Besides, it wouldn't work. So he just gave in. "Fine. But I love you."
She didn't even answer that because she couldn't. She had a feeling if she expressed anything, it would all come crashing down on her. And Emma would rather remain numb than face anything that would matter. "Thank you."
August did a double take. "Did you just say thank you to me saying I love you?" That definitely threw him for a loop because Emma either said nothing or said it back. That's the way it always worked.
Emma shrugged. She had completely missed what August had told her, and she honestly didn't care. All she wanted to do was work. Work would keep her busy, and that's just what she needed. So she kissed Melia and Lucas goodbye, then headed to the station.
Ruby stared at her when she walked in. "What are you doing here?"
"My job. What the hell do you think I'm doing, Ruby? Get to work!" She normally would have felt bad that she had snapped at her for no reason, but Emma honestly didn't care. She wasn't going to apologize now, if ever.
"Okay then." Ruby wasn't going to talk to her if that was the way she going to act, but she understood that Emma was just grieving. She had cried into her food for weeks after Granny's death so she could handle a little misplaced anger.
Weeks passed, and Emma's emotional shut down continued. James returned to work because he was tired of sitting at home with his memories. At least Ryan and Liam had kept him occupied. They were away at school, but had stayed home to try and help their father. Now they had returned and James had nothing to do, so going back to work was the next logical step. He was happy to return to it, and August had kept him informed of Emma's behavior. He was determined to get through her to and was confident he could do it.
But first, Henry and wife Grace – Jefferson's daughter – invited the entire family over to dinner. "We were going to tell everyone sooner and would have, but Grace wanted to wait because she didn't think it was the right time. But now it is."
August had a feeling where this conversation was going and he liked it. "Get to the point already!"
"I'm trying! Anyway, Grace and I are having a baby. She's four months along." He was thrilled to become a dad. They had already used his great-grandmother's necklace, and according to that, they were having a girl. They were keeping that a secret – and the baby's name – from his family to surprise them. They needed some happiness to break through the cloud of grief that had been hanging over them for weeks.
Melia squealed and hugged her brother. "This is awesome, Henry! Congratulations."
"So, have any names yet?" James questioned. He was excited to become a great-grandfather and couldn't wait to meet the baby.
"Yes, but we're keeping it a secret. Sorry, Gramps." He couldn't wait to see the look on everyone's faces in a few months when they learned what his daughter's name was going to be. Hopefully, they would be happy and appreciate it.
Emma couldn't believe she was going to be a grandmother. She would have been excited about it – And she knew she should be – but she was still numb. So she gave them a fake smile and hugged her son and daughter-in-law. At least something good had happened. But was she so out of touch that she hadn't even noticed Grace's pregnancy? That was unlike her. She had figured out both of her mother's pregnancies almost immediately. But that didn't matter, though. Emma couldn't think about her mother right now.
James returned to work the next day and subtly tried to find ways to get Emma to react to something. However, he failed at this because Emma just didn't seem to care about anything. It was like talking to a brick wall and he wondered how August and his grandchildren were dealing with this. He was so lost in his own grief that he hadn't paid attention to much, but that was going to change. He still missed his Snow with everything he had, but at least he had his family to lean on. He'd be with her again someday.
Emma was at home cooking dinner – spaghetti – that night when her father showed up unexpectedly. August had been informed of it, and he was waiting impatiently in the study. There was no doubt in his mind that James would get through to Emma. "What are you doing here, Dad?"
"I'm here to see my only daughter because I'm worried about her." That was the truth.
She rolled her eyes. "I'm fine and I wish everyone would stop bugging me about this." All she wanted to do was deal with this on her own. Was that too much to ask?
"Well, I'm sorry, but I can't. Em, you're not dealing with your mother's death. You need to react in some way. Get angry. Be sad. I don't really care as long as you grieve. This isn't healthy."
She bitterly laughed. "Nice try at telling me what you think is healthy. It's not going to work, David." She didn't notice the slip, but James had. She only called him David when she was pissed or not thinking. He was leaning towards pissed, and that made him a little angry. That meant his Emma was definitely buried underneath all of the non-emotion and he could get through to her.
"I think it will. And you know why? Because you're my daughter and I know how you think. You can't let yourself miss her because otherwise you're going to fall apart and you can't handle that. But you need to."
"No, I don't. Now go home or shut up and eat dinner with us." She could feel emotions bubbling up that she hadn't felt since she got the news and tried frantically to push them back down. This wasn't going to happen, no matter how much her father wished it would.
"I will eat dinner with you, but I'm not shutting up. Snow is dead. You're never going to see your mother again. She won't hold you when you're upset or talk you through something you can't handle." He hated hurting her like this, but he had to.
"Stop it! Get the fuck out of my house! Don't think I won't arrest you!" She cringed at the shrillness of her voice and hoped he didn't notice.
He had and grabbed hold of it. "Good, be angry. You won't ever get to tell Snow about your day again because she's buried. You can't talk to her about anything."
"Stop it!" Emma could feel the tears welling up and she willed them away, but it didn't work. She didn't want this. Why had he insisted on it?
"She can't ever laugh with you again. Snow will never walk into your house again. She won't be able to ever meet her great-grandchild."
"Please, Daddy, don't." And then she burst into sobs. James pulled in her for a hug as her knees buckled so she wouldn't fall. August burst into the kitchen a few minutes later and turned off the stove – The noodles were done and about to start burning.
"I'm so sorry, Baby Girl. I didn't want to hurt you, but you needed to deal with this situation." James kissed the top of her head and rocked her back and forth.
August joined in on the hug. "I'm here for you, Em. You don't have to deal with this by yourself. You're not alone. We all miss her."
"I miss her so much. Please don't leave me. August, don't go. I love you."
"I'm not going anywhere. And your dad will stick around as long as he can, too. And I love you so much." August wasn't surprised that her emotions were all over the place.
Emma struggled with her grief a lot over the next few months, but at least she had her family to keep her afloat when she got overwhelmed. The birth of her granddaughter also helped a little bit and that event lifted the entire family's spirits. Emma wasn't alone and she never would be.