Time to Let Go (Twilight #1)
By Ria
Author's note: This was written back nearer to the middle of the last season, when Tess wasn't evil, and she and Kyle were really cute together. Personally, I think the writers were stupid for breaking up a potential plot point and/or conventional couple, but hey, who am I to say anything. . .
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She stared at the clock as the seconds passed. Tick… Tock… Tick… Tock… The minutes became hours, the hours became days, and still he did not come. And still she watched the clock.
He said he would come. He said that he would be back soon. And yet here she was, alone, watching the clock count the hours away. She was alone. She was always alone.
She shivered despite the hot desert air drifting in an open window. He'll come, she said, and then again said, He'll come. There was no answer, because no one really cared. No one was there to witness her wounded eyes and her clenched hands, because no one wanted to know what happened to her. She was alone, and he did not come, no matter how long she waited.
After a while, she dropped her eyes to the ruby eyes of her Siamese cat. He was not looking at her. It was as though even he, in his animal innocence, could not bear to see the look upon her face. It was the look that had driven the others away, even as they understood her. Because she was hurt the most of all. And she, unlike the others, never gave up hope that he would return.
She lived in memory of that day, the day he left. She said that they could run, to another country, skip the boarder and escape the draft. He smiled at her sadly, but would not give in. It was duty, he said, to save his country. He could not run away. And she knew that he would go, and that she would not stop him, because he was right.
The cat would not look up, even when she coaxed some feeble sounds out of her long neglected throat. He wanted nothing to do with her, just like the others. So she turned her eyes back to the clock. Tick. . . Tock. . . Tick. . .Tock. . .
How strange it was, she mused, that he would end like that. That they would end like that. Two people who were so strong, so committed to life and to each other and to a planet far far away. . . strange that they would end fighting someone else's battle. Well, his battle. She always expected to die first, because her battle seemed much nearer at hand.
That battle was impossible, now that they were all gone. All of them. Every single boy, no, man, that she had ever really loved. Her brothers. . . and him. Her lover. They were all gone now. . . he said he would return, and she believed him. But he was dead. . . how can one return from the dead?
If only she could have been there, she would have saved him. But she had been left behind, he would not let her fight. And now she was all alone.
He will come back, she said, but it lacked the conviction that it once had. Maybe, a small voice deep within her said, he will never come back. So what will you do? You are all alone.
My friends. They were my friends. Maybe, if I go to them, they will be my friends again. Maybe they will understand, and forgive me, and let me start over. Maybe I can make myself into the person he loved again, maybe I can live the life we planned to live together alone. Maybe, with my friends, I can learn to live again.
Tess reached for the telephone, tears running down her face.
And maybe, once I am worthy of him, he will come back.
***