Sympathy
for the Hell-God.
Disclaimer: I do the dance of "These Characters Aren't
Mine, They're Joss Wheadon's"
**
What's my name bitch?
Oh, that's right, you don't
know. Nobody knows. So many damn titles, everybody forgets the
real one. Even I don't know anymore. Glory's fine for now, maybe when I get home
I'll remember the real one.
(Damned, damned, damned for
all time. Quiet, we'll never get home if you keep thinking so negatively. Mommy
I'm scared. I am too son, I am too . . .too late, too late, too friggin late)
and it won't go away. You see the kind
of problems I have? All this static in
the back of my head and it won't go away.
I miss my parents. Why'd they do this to me?
It's not fair. It's not my
fault.
Oh, I see, you think that
because I was cursed to wander the lower realms for all eternity, I must have
done something, right?
That's just it you see? I
DIDN'T DO A GOD-DAMNED THING, (a God damned, that's me alright) and don't tell
me there was a fucking war on (watch your language young lady. Sorry mother,
I'll be good, you bitch.), I'm a pacifist, I don't bother anybody if they don't
bother me, or get in my way, or are just unlucky enough to meet me, but what
should the damn human meat sacks expect, gratitude for intruding their
miserable selves into my miserable life? I think not. They don't even know who I am anymore, nobody cares, nobody
respects me.
Anyway, my point (Yes, I do
have a point. I always have a point, I'm special like a snowflake and all must
marvel before my wisdom, because it comes from a higher place) MY POINT, is
that it's not my fault. I didn't do anything wrong.
Okay, I didn't do anything
right either, but what would you expect from me, huh? I'm a HELL-GOD, for crying out loud. I'm not supposed to be nice, that defeats the whole purpose of
it.
Like it matters to me who
rules the universe anyway. All I wanted
was my little piece, a little plot to call my own. Just like any sane person.
(Are we there yet? Are we
there yet? Are we there...? SHUT THE
HELL UP YOU LITTLE BRATS; I'll TELL you when we get there).
And now I'm stuck here on
the lousy mortal plane and none of the other Gods will talk to me so I have to
look to the lowly demons who are supposed to tremble at the very sound of my
name (which none of them remember) for help and even then I only get the loser
demons of this lousy dimension, all the big-wigs treat me like crap. (Mommy, why don't the other kids want to
play with me? It's because you're a freak honey, now bend over so I can beat
you bloody with this belt. Okay). I
mean, what, just because I'm banished from the Infernal Spheres for all time
I'm not cool enough to hang with anymore?
Not that I would want to
come to this shit-filled, puss covered crap-ass planet if I were them, ooooh no
sir. I hate it here. I hate the smell
and the animals and the plants and the cold and the heat and the terrible
terrible people doing terrible things to each other, and the pain is so bad in
my head why won't it let me alone, what did I do, it wasn't my fault, it isn't
fair but life never is but where's the justice in that and why won't somebody
give me an answer, why won't somebody give me the Key?
Sometimes at night, when
I'm all alone in my palace I stop being the hobgoblin princess and I'm just a
scared little girl whose parents don't love her anymore. I'm afraid they've forgotten me, that I'm
struck from the book and I'll always always always have to hide in the dark
corner until the end of time and beyond, because I was just a fragile thing at
heart and didn't want to fight.
I don't ask for much.
I just want a warm place again
where the voices don't bug me. Bugs:
spiders and roaches and flies, flying all around me eyes and under my skin like
the damn vampire slayer who thinks she's got some righteous mission to fight
evil and FUCKING EXCUSE ME, I'M THE DAMN GOD HERE, so why don't you just get
the hell out of my way and be glad I let you bask in my reflected glory (Boooo,
bad pun. Quiet you) before I get a chance to kill you?
Ahem.
I just want my Key. I just want a home. I just want to be loved and worshipped the
way a God should be.
Is that really too much to ask?
