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Chair

Chapter 1

My life was over for good, I was holding this piece of plastic in my hand.

How can a girl mess so much up one word Chuck.

I had slept with Chuck and cheated on Nate my boyfriend, no wait Nate cheated on me with Serena. Who am I trying to kid, I cheated to.

Chuck is Nate´s best friend. I really dig myself into a deep hole. I slept with both Nate and Chuck.

Who´s child am I pregnant with?

"Damn it Blair," I curst under my breath. Blair was my hell of a problem. She was mine in every way. She had given her virginity to me and her trust to.

Blair had chosen Nate over me. She was going to regret that. I could give her so much more then Nate.

I love Blair; there was no way of getting over her. She was on my mind and in my soul. Every time I went to bad she was lying next to me.

Her warm safe hands wrap around me and her sweet perfume. Blair´s lips on mine and her joy full laugh. I sometimes wish I hadn't seen her dance at Victrola, that night change me for good.

Blair Waldorf was my friend and plotting companion and nothing ells. I had no interest in her in the sexual way before that night.

Okay that was a lie, no I have always wanted her but not as strong as I do now. Blair was out of my world, she had never fallen head over heels over me, like the rest of them. She could see right through me and my lies, as easily as glass.

I will use all the tricks I got to bring her back to me. Blair Waldorf was going to be my girl not Nate´s.

….

I will lie and tell Nate that it is his baby. That is what I am going to do. I told myself over and over but Chuck´s smirk kept popping op all the time.

Damn Chuck to hell I thought angry with myself. Serena told me to get a pregnancy test. I have taken 8 of them in panic. They all are red. I am so going to be a mum.

My life as queen is over and so is my chance for going to Yael. All I want is gone. I felt like Scarlet in gone with the win, where Rhett leaves her.

I cry myself to sleep that night.

…

I was going to tell Nate that Blair was cheating on him with Carter.

Yes that is what I will do. The school yard was free as I ran in to class. Nate was totally in his own thoughts. I felt bad about it for a minute but I want Blair.

Sorry Nate. I am going to break your heart.

Blair was going to be sad over Nate and take me. Yeah that was about it. Blair came running in later, with tears running down her cheeks; she was trying to hide them.

….

I thought I could tell Nate about my pregnancy but no. I was too scared to do so.

Blair Waldorf, losing her touch not good. I have become too weak and sloppy.

I told Nate goodbye instead. I had made up my mind.

I couldn't tell Nate or Chuck. This was my pain to bear. I was so foolish to think sleeping with them both would never be a problem.

Blair you are naïve and stupid to believe, that Nate would never find out, and Chuck would be okay with this.

I went to the doctor to confirm my pregnancy. I was 10 weeks along.

I could keep the baby, abortion or give away? I was so lost right now. Seeing the baby on the screen was just torture. I couldn't kill my baby. My doctor was telling me to make a decision vary quickly.

I was walking home when I saw Chuck. He was standing outside my apartment.

"Bass, will you medially move your ass off my door," I say in a snap.

"So, you admit to like my ass," Chuck says in his way to cocky voice.

"God, Chuck," I say in a low tone.

We take the elevator together; he was not giving up on me.

….

I walk with Blair op the stair as she suddenly looks pale. She starts to fall and I catch her.

"Blair," I held her close, as I carried her, the rest of the way up. I lay her down. She looks tired.

Suddenly Blair runs to the toilet and throws up. I ran into her. Blair was sitting with her head in the toilet and looks pale.

"Blair, are you okay?" I ask what a stupid question. She was so sick looking.

"No, Chuck" Blair retorted at me and turns her head back to the toilet.

"Just go," Blair says in a tired voice as she turns back to me. She rose and walks over to the sink. She brushes her teeth and looks at her own reflection.

I took the hairbrush and start to brush her long curly hair. Blair looks at our reflection.

"We look good together," Blair says simply as she locks eyes with me.

Her doe eyes have always enchanted me. Blair looks cold and acts cold, but she has a warm heart burning under that entire cold facade.

"Yeah, we do," I say as buries my head in a curly locks'. Blair sighs and says "Chuck, why do we hurt each other?"

That question as also cross my mind.

"I don't know," I say, as she wraps her fingers around my fingers.

I was still brushing her hair, one thing I like to do. Blair was the only girl, I saw as my equal.

Blair still looks dreamy at the mirror and our reflection. Blair looks at me and sighs again. She drags herself out of my arms and walks over to her bed.

"Chuck, what are you doing here?" Blair says as she tucks the duvet over her.

I sit down beside her and say "I want you to choose me instead of Nate." Blair looks suddenly sad; she was biting her lips and whimper "God, Chuck, why do you always say such things."

"Blair, I want you," I say in an honest voice.

"That is not enough," Blair says as she looks at me with tears running down her pretty face.

….

I can´t pretend to just be okay with want, I want him to tell me he loves me. What was I thinking; Chuck Bass was never going to say that to me.

"What do you want me to say?" Chuck asks sounding a little edgy.

"You know what I want to hear," I say as I start to close my eyes.

"You body is burning for me," Chuck says as he smirks at me. God I hate his smirks.

"No, Chuck, that was not it," I say in a tired voice.

"Blair," Chuck sighs as he held me close to him. Chuck Bass do have a sweet side but he doesn't like to show people that.

"I think, we should stop seeing each other for a time," I say as I tucked myself in.

It hurt to tell him, but I have tried so hard to make him understand that I love him.

"No, I will not let you go," Chuck say as he embraces me.