A/N: I wrote this a while ago and just never got round to posting it. I hope you enjoy reading it.
Post Judgment Day.
-X-X-
Gibbs refills his drink after he has downed his first.
"How could I not notice?" Gibbs asks his companion
"She was good at hiding it. I fear that if she hadn't told me, I wouldn't have worked it out" Ducky places his glass on the autopsy table between the two of them. "That's the sombre truth about these illnesses. I think that she is more at peace knowing that we didn't have to watch her die."
"A couple of months ago, she came to my house. She was upset, I didn't ask her any questions. I just comforted her." Gibbs' eyes glaze over thinking about the memory. "She kept coming round, and I still didn't notice. Now I remember, now she's gone and I cant do anything."
"You shouldn't beat yourself up about this, Jethro."
"I caught her being sick in the middle of the night once." Gibbs continues. "She made a joke about her cooking, I just ignored it and sat on the floor with her. She was getting thinner as well. Looking tiered. Why couldn't she tell me?"
"She didn't want to worry you. She never did." Ducky sighs and goes over to his desk and brings back an envelope. "She entrusted me to give you this." Ducky hands over the letter and leaves Gibbs alone in the room.
He sits there for what feels like a lifetime. He almost thinks that is he waits long enough, she'll be back. That it will have been just one big mistake. He finishes another drink and picks up the letter.
Dear Jethro,
I know that I have left you a letter before, but this time I am truly going to explain myself. I don't know if you found out. I don't know if you have had to watch me die. If you did I am sorry. I know you think that it's a sign of weakness, but I don't have enough energy left to fight.
I have known for the majority of my life, it killed my mother, and it will kill me. I was tested when she died. From that moment I decided that I would make something of the short life I would have. Once I decided on my career, I made a plan. I swore to myself that I would stick to it. Complete it, before this curse beat me too it.
I didn't expect to fall in love in Paris. I loved Paris. I loved being with you in Paris. I loved being with you in the whole of Europe. The second I realised how deep my feelings went I knew that I had to go. Love didn't fit into my plan.
This was my greatest regret. I most probably wont have told you before you read it now. There is no point in dragging up the past, when it wont cause us to be happy. I loved you, I have always loved you and always will.
There is so much that I wish to say, but I know the words will mean nothing near what I want them to.
I understand if you don't forgive me for not telling you. I watched what this did to my Father when he found out and watched her die. I didn't want to do that to anyone, especially you.
My heart has always and will always belong to you. Please don't be sad, it's just one of those things that you can't stop, that can't be helped. Take care of your team, they were trusted colleges and friends. Take care of Ducky and Abby, I know she wont like the changes that will happen.
Don't remember my death, or the sadness that sometimes surrounded us, but remember the good times the laughter and joy. Remember Paris.
With All My Love
Jenny
Gibbs folds the letter and puts it in his pocket, stands and leaves. The waiting tears never falling from his eyes.
-X-X-
Thank you for taking the time to read. Review if you wish.
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