Disclaimer; The real Twilight that everyone orgasms and loses their virginity over is not ours. But this AWESOME remake is ours. Written by Rainbow Ryan. XD
A/N; This is a complete spoof rewriting Twilight in, basically, how it sounded to us… well, and adding a few things just to make it stupid….AND AWESOME. XD But, hey, it's a spoof, so that's how it goes. No, we're not stupid. We notice the misspelled words and the "… wtf?" moments. Everything that sounds stupid was put there purposely.
A Disturbingly popular novel by R. Days!!!11ONE!!!!11ELEVEN!~!!!1
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Chapter One;
I sighed loudly to myself as I sat in the stupid car in the stupid rain going to the stupid airport in stupid Phoenix. My mother hummed stupidly to herself as I moped. "I thought you leiked your father." She commented stupidly.
I groaned, "Yeah, I guess." I sighed.
"Good, she replied" Suddenly she turned into an opossum then turned back.
We got the airport and I sighed as I hugged my mother and sat on the airplane, which was convineently 5 feet away from where she hugged me. The plane ride was LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. I spent the hole ride listening to my Appletm iPodtm I love Paramore and Muse.
I finally touched down into Seattle where my father Charly was waiting for me with his car. It was an hours drive to Forks, Washington where I would spend my moping time, wishing I was back in Phoenix. I sighed as we pulled up to our house. "Stupid house" I thought. It was raining. It was ALWAYS raning in sPORKS.
As we turned the corner to the mansion, I layed my beautiful brite pinmpin' pink eyes on a $40,000,000 Lear Jet. "It's for you my lovely, sweet daughter. I had to spend my dead mother's ashes to pay for this, but seeing you smile is always worth it." He beamed.
"BAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW!" I sobbed. And sobbed again…anda gain.(5 minutes later) and… again. Now everyone will hate me!" I cried. I cryed all the waty up to my room. I locketed the door and stayed their for the rest of the night and waited for my miserable life to end!
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First chapter in the book was short, so this first chap is short, too. Longer chapters later. Not like anyone will care. XD So much hate reviews will be heading our way. AWES. (massive breakdown of tears)
Yes! We know Charlie's name is spelled wrong! XD
Review! :D Haha.