Disclaimer: silly me I forgot to mention! I am NOT JKR. Seriously.

Dear Diary,

So there's a few things wrong with my life at the moment.

One: I'm eighteen and living with my mother.

Two: My mother makes me de-gnome the garden.

Three: Harry Potter just apparated into our garden

Four: and I was wrestling one of those stupid gnomes.

Five: oh and to make matters a hell of a lot worse, I was in my pyjamas, and my hair was a mess.

Fun.

My name is Ginny Weasley and Merlin hates me. He hates me with a passion. The hate is so passionate that roses could burst from those red eyes that show all that hate.

Wait, that doesn't make any sense, Ginny.

Until now, I'd avoided diaries since second year. If you knew me, you'd probably know why.

If you don't, it's because the teenage form of an extremely insane dark wizard who just so happened to kill anyone or anything that dared walk in its path possessed me and almost had me killed but haha guess who saved my life yes Harry Potter hahahahaha.

Ha.

And now that person is looking at me weirdly right now because I think my face is going red from writing this down.

Turn out it is, after a quick look in my mirror, and I also looked up to find that I was writing so completely madly that ink splashed on his nose.

I proceeded on to swearing "oh shitty tits" to be exact and wiping it with the palm of my hand and making it worse, until he eventually laughed in a scared way and told me it was fine and he'd do it himself.

So anyway the gnomes.

I had literally just woken up, bearing in mind it was so early in the morning (one o'clock in the afternoon) when mum shouted at me to get downstairs.

So I obeyed, and she kissed my cheek and led me into the garden. She gave me the please-do-me-a-favour-and-if-you-say-no-i-will-be- pissed-off-but-remain-sweet look.

"What?" I asked.

The look vanished for a second. "Don't say what say pardon."

"But Mummy this really isn't the appropriate context for pardon." I said, shrugging.

She sighed, and told me what to do, which was get those fecking gnomes out of the fecking garden. She didn't say it like that though.

Swearing, I did what I was supposed to do, until the one pesky little bugger who I ALWAYS have trouble with decided he wasn't going to help.

"Come get me!" He squealed, after I had been chasing him for about twenty three minutes.

"What the hell do you think I was doing before you little git?" I panted, with the trademark Weasley red on my face.

After about another seventeen minutes (I know I've improved) I finally caught the guy, and now we were wrestling.

"Get-over-the-fence-you-little-bastard!" Was my main comment.

"No gingy no! No gingy no! No gingy no! Greggy wants to have fun and piss gingy off!"

"Stop trying to piss me off!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

At this point my arse was in the air and I was wearing very showy shorts.

And Harry Potter just so happened to apparate and end up behind me.

And there was also a gnome underneath me.

"Are you alright there Ginny?" He asked in that very sexy voice that was almost muggle movie-like. It sounded all husky-I've-been-through-a lot.

"Definitely! Spectacular! Never been better! How are you?!"

"Fine, thank you? Now are you sure you're okay down there?"

"Yes Harry! Calm your titties my friend me and Gregory are getting along splendidly! Aren't we?" I said through gritted teeth.

"Gingy loves Potter! Gingy loves the boy who killed the dark lord! Oh my Merlin let's send the Prophet an owl! They would DIE if they could hear this! This is big! B.I.G! It's so big it could reach the moon! The moon! You should get married on the moon! The moon! Potter what do you think?"

"Well," he said, "it would be up to Ginny if she wanted to get married on the moon. How about that Gingy?"

Even though I couldn't see Harry, and he couldn't see my red face, I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"I-i-in hell Potter in hell." Although I didn't mean it. God wouldn't it be great to marry Harry Potter on the moon! His eyes would be like stars and I could wear a dress that had bits of glitter that looked like stardust… wait where was i?

"That's disappointing. I'll see you later then Ginny." And he was gone. Poof. Gone.

"You bloody bastard!" It was then that I did manage to throw him. And he squealed, shouting something like:

"Hinny! Harry and Ginny! On the moon! I want them to have babies! They will have passionate sex by the fire! And then the moon! The moon!"

What is wrong with my life?

Oh wait… now I remember, Harry is looking at me weird again. I'll talk tomorrow…

Signed,

Ginny

A/N Hope you enjoyed my first chapter! Reviews would be muchly appreciated!

UnleashThePotter