Title: In Any Version of Reality
Summary: "I'd find you and I'd choose you." Or, Hydra's the legitimate organization in a totalitarian world, and SHIELD destroys them from the inside. Action, oneshot, some Skyeward, Fitzsimmons, Philinda. Coauthored by princessmelia and Kitty O.
Wordcount: ~10,000.
A/N: Apologies ahead of time for any non-consistent page breaks. You know how ffnet is. The only thing that takes longer than writing it is adding those page breaks in the Doc Manager. -Kitty O
Agent Melinda May was sitting at her immaculate desk, where she liked to be. Nice, safe, not action-oriented job. She snorted to herself at the thought, and leaned back in her soft chair. Bored, she glanced up as Agent Coulson strolled by, wearing his usual suit and half-smile. "Hail Hydra," he greeted her casually.
She smirked.
"Hail Hydra," she responded, knowing that Coulson was a higher up in SHIELD, just like her - not that it could be talked about. Any form of rebellion could end in execution by the government. Thus, she figured, secret infiltration.
"You met Skye yet?" he asked, pointing out the glass door, where a dark haired (very pretty) woman in Hydra gear was talking to another agent.
No, they hadn't met, but May had heard of her. The little orphan that Coulson had saved and converted to Hydra - with SHIELD leanings, if she didn't miss her guess.
"I hear she's your new protégé. Ready to make a new Winter fan?" The Winter Soldier was the mascot of Hydra. Coulson worshipped the man's archenemy, but then, they always followed the opposite of what they loved. It's how they stayed alive.
But not for much longer.
"One of the finest," Coulson promised.
Skye, out in the hallway, tossed her head coquettishly as she spoke to Agent Ward, who had just walked by. Loyal Hydra agent, sure, but man, he was cute. Also, Skye wanted him to like her. Skye wanted everyone to like her, and she'd gotten very good at making sure that everyone did.
Don't get too attached, said a voice in her head even as she smiled. Hate to have things happen the way Simmons and Fitz are going to end up one day.
"Hello, Agent Skye," Ward greeted with a smile. "Hail Hydra."
"Hail Hydra," she replied though it made her skin crawl a bit. It settled, though, when Ward reached out and brushed a hand down her arm. They were both wearing action uniforms, not formal business clothes, and she was glad of that. The red stripe on her right pant leg showed she was low ranked, but the suspenders that buckled together over her torso and the gray shirt underneath showed that she had a high-ranking figure. She wasn't wearing her leather jacket. He was wearing his.
"I hear you've been doing remarkable things for our agency." His smile was like that of a wolf's. Ward was used to getting what he wanted. He was high up in ranks, and fiercely fought for Hydra. While she didn't support the cause, Skye admired the dedication. And his pecs.
"I have a good S.O," she said, leaning against the smooth, official-looking wall.
"Coulson's one of our best."
"I know," Skye said. "Old man's got some tricks up his sleeve." She paused. "All the same, he says he might have to send me to general training too, so I can catch some newer moves that he's getting a bit old for. Hate to do that, but..." She shrugged and looked sad.
"Well, hey," he said in a nonchalant air, "I can show you some moves sometime."
"What, really?" She let her eyes go wide. Excitement.
"Sure," he said, trying to be friendly. Grant Ward was a chameleon. Skye knew that, since she was one herself – and if he was coming across as friendly, maybe he wanted her to like him too. "Anything's better than those general classes," he said, as if he needed to explain himself.
She laughed as she heard the glass door behind her slide open. "I'll give you a call."
Once Ward had walked away, Coulson said from behind her, "I never said that."
"I know," Skye said, turning back to Coulson. "I lied."
"You know, you scare me sometimes."
"That's the whole point, AC." She gave him a small, sassy smirk. "You want me to be the next Romanoff, right?"
"I think we have enough Romanoffs in the world."
"Noted. I'll be back in a sec, I'm going to run to the ladies' room. Got to powder my nose for the higher ups."
Coulson sighed. "Make it quick." He sent May a long-suffering smile through the glass, which she didn't return.
Skye nodded and bounded off to the restroom, which was nestled nicely in the corner with a potted plant, but paused when she heard crying from inside. Pushing the door open slowly, she peered inside.
A young woman was sitting on the counter, where she was definitely not supposed to be, and had her head in her hands. Simmons started as the door opened but quickly sighed in relief. She sank back onto the white tiles. "Oh, Skye. It's you."
"Things not going well with Fitz?" Skye asked, coming in.
Simmons bristled. She'd been insisting that Fitz would be SHIELD before she was through with him for quite a while now. Apparently, it was never a good time. It was sort of a serious question to ask someone, anyway– Hey, you want to probably get killed, join a secret organization? If you say no, they may kill you anyway. "Fitz is fine," she said defensively. Then she shrugged. "It's Antione."
"Tripplet?" Skye knew him. She liked Tripp. Die-hard Hydra, but really nice. "What did he do?"
"He asked me out on a date."
"Well that's great." Skye grinned. "Jemma, you could use some action, right?"
Simmons rolled her eyes. "I can't do it like you do. I can't... play the field." She gave Skye an exaggerated look, trying to convey the double meaning in her words. Simmons pretended to be an unemotional scientist, but Skye knew that befriending Hydra killed her. Still, the girl needed to let loose every once in a while.
Skye tilted an eyebrow. "Jemma, look at yourself. You're in the bathroom crying. This is ridiculous."
Simmons scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Because my last date ended so well!"
Skye sucked on her cheek. Right. Mike Peterson. Nice guy, had a son. Man now a cyborg under the operation's control. And son dead by mysterious accident. Hail Hydra, as they said. "That was hardly your fault, Jemma."
"I just," she sighed. "It's hard, alright?" She wiped at the tears with her hands and then reached over and grabbed a paper towel to blot out the make-up trails running down her face. "I'll be okay." She sniffed and then turned to Skye with a curious look on her face. "Aren't you and Coulson leaving on a mission like," – she looked down at her watch – "now?"
"Oh! Yeah!" Skye hit her forehead comically as she pulled out her make-up. "I just wanted to freshen up before meeting the higher ups for debriefing." While re-applying her mascara, she asked, "You sure you'll be okay?"
"I'm fine. You go."
"Ok, love you, Jems!" Skye finished her make-up quickly, then flounced out like she hadn't a care in the world.
Jemma accepted that date with Tripp.
Two months later, the helicarriers went down, and Captain America's continued habit of not being dead was finally revealed.
Fitzsimmons were in the lab, bickering. Skye, May, and Coulson stood together in an office. Ward and Sitwell were with them as well. Coulson was talking to Sitwell about the possibility of discontent in a lower town somewhere in a place that had once been Maine. Agent Ward was talking to Skye, whom he'd taken quite a liking to. He was telling her all about Garrett and boring her half to death.
And then the message appeared on every screen, flashing black letters.
RETURN TO FREEDOM. BE THE SHIELD.
"What does that mean?" Fitz narrowed his eyes at the screen. "Jemma, what does that mean?"
"I-I don't know." Her voice shook.
Coulson, May, and Skye exchanged glances, but barely.
"Oh, crap," Ward said, looking at Coulson, while Skye made 'should I knock him out?' motions behind him, her arm moving up and down like a club. He turned around to look at Skye, and she quickly put her hand behind her back. "We need to get out of here," he said as she put on an expression of complete innocence.
"Why?" Skye asked, her voice shaking like she was scared. "What does it mean?"
"I'll take Skye," Ward told Coulson. "You, May, and Sitwell have this room?"
"Definitely," said Coulson, nodding like he was in charge there. Ward took Skye's hand and they ran out, eyes open for enemies. No sooner had Ward and Skye made their exit than May calmly shot Sitwell with the ICEr that hung at her left (as opposed to the real gun at her right, because after all, this was Sitwell, not some stranger).
There was commotion outside of the lab doors. "What's that?" Fitz began to wander toward the doors.
"Fitz, wait." Simmons grabbed his arm and pulled him up short. "Before they come in here, I have to tell you something."
He looked at her in confusion. "Before who comes in here?"
"It's SHIELD," she said. "Remember SHIELD? From Captain America's time? That's what that means. And I need to tell you something."
His eyes went wide. Leopold Fitz was a brilliant man. He could put it all together quickly, but she knew he'd never suspect her (sweet Jemma) unless she just flat out told him the truth. "Simmons, we need to take cover or fight or do something. Can't it wait?"
"It can't." She took a deep breath. "Fitz, I-"
"I understand." He did? "I love you too, Jemma." And then he kissed her. For a moment she let that sink in – sweet Fitz's mouth against hers, finally next to each other and knowing they loved each other… Okay, moment over.
"Yeah, that's not it," Jemma said, pushing him back. He looked stunned. "If they come in here, Fitz, we need to tell them we're SHIELD."
"What? That wouldn't be right, Jemma, where's the integrity..."
"Fitz!" she whined. "Please, I'm SHIELD!" She shouted it out before she had the chance to think. "I've been for years!"
People were chasing them by the time Ward locked them in the armory. Skye sat gasping against the wall, and he turned around, beginning to sift through some weapons. "They'll come here first," he said. "We need to get out fast."
"Right," said Skye, staring at him and wondering what she should do. Knocking him out was looking like a bad idea. Letting him fight her people looked even worse.
"How deep do you think it goes?" Skye asked.
"I'm sure it's not that bad. Probably just a stupid newbie rebellion."
"What?" Fitz's eyes were wide and he backed away, shaking his head. Jemma felt like he was pulling her apart. "No. No, you can't be."
No time to wallow. She nodded at him instead. "Say you're with me,"– she moved closer to him and grabbed his hand – "and you'll be safe. We can stay together."
He yanked his hand away, and there were tears in his eyes. "Don't touch me."
"What happened to the plan?" May asked as she searched Sitwell for hidden weapons. "We weren't supposed to move for another couple of weeks."
"Something must have happened higher up."
"Fury. He's dead," May guessed immediately.
"That's a terrible conclusion to jump to," Coulson said as he dragged Sitwell towards a nice, roomy closet. But he looked like he'd had the same thought himself; it was in his eyes. "We need to get as many people as we can; we can lock them in this closet."
"They'll start shooting then," May said, pulling out the real gun at her side. "I'm not playing with my life."
"I didn't say we couldn't kill anyone," Coulson barked. "We're an uprising, after all, not a sit-in. Just don't go for the neck immediately."
Simmons wasn't giving up on her best friend. "Leo, you have to—"Just then the door burst open (both scientists jumped), and the SHIELD agents came spilling in. The man up front had a gun out. His real gun, not his ICEr.
"Captain America lives," he said.
"And he brings freedom for us all," Simmons responded automatically.
The guard nodded and then turned to Fitz.
"He's with me." She stepped in between them, smiling nervously.
"Hail Hydra!" Fitz called out, head held high.
"You think Skye will be alright?" May asked before she shot an incoming Hydra agent unconscious in the hall.
"She can handle herself," Coulson replied. He shot another. "I hope."
Skye laughed nervously. And then she looked outside. "It looks bigger than that," she said. Ward was still going through weapons. Think, think, think, Skye. "There are a lot of people coming." She cleared her throat. "Hey, Ward, what do you think about going sort of... undercover?"
Ward froze and then turned around.
"He doesn't mean that," Simmons said, aware it was completely stupid.
But they'd already aimed for him.
"No!" she shrieked, pulling her own gun out. The one at her right hip. The real one. "Don't you dare."
The agent glanced between both of them, lowering his gun slightly. "Are you really SHIELD?"
"Yes."
"No."
"Corner, now." He commanded with his gun up, and Simmons caved. Two other agents joined him, ready to fire. "We need to check this with the higher ups."
"Undercover?" Ward grinned. "I like the way you think, Skye. Say, you got a last name?"
"Not one you need to know about," she answered with a wink. "But I'm trying some out."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I like Ward a whole lot."
"Fresh," said Ward. "I'm your superior officer."
"Maybe something more magical," she said, strapping on guns. "I've got powers, you know? I can read minds."
"Really," he said flatly.
"Sure, you're about to ask me out for a drink."
He laughed out loud. "Alright, be serious, who are you now?"
"Skye Ward."
"Who are you?"
"Skye, mysterious hot girl?"
He liked games; she knew that. He didn't want to know how badly her legs were shaking at the thought of this trick. Could she pull it off?
"Say it right."
"Skye," she said, grinning. "Agent of SHIELD."
"Perfect."
Coulson got a phone call. "What? I'm sort of busy."
"Boss, Fury's down. You're the boss now."
"Still busy," he said as he squeezed off a shot.
"We've got a boy and a girl here. She claims they're both with us and he claims he isn't."
"I'll be right there." He hung up. "May, we've got a Fitzsimmons situation; let's wrap this up."
"Fitz, please," Simmons whispered. "We're the good guys."
"Are you? Because all I see is chaos."
"Chaos can be good."
"Is that what Mike told you? Look what happened to him."
"Don't be that way. He and his son had everything taken from them because he tried to say what he believed. That's Hydra. You think that's right?"
"At least they don't lie about it. For years!"
"Fitz!" she moaned.
Skye and Ward managed to make it out of the hallway after May and Coulson came running through, and they followed – only to witness Coulson calmly discussing things with a newly revealed traitor. "Coulson's with them?" Ward said, peering around the corner.
"What?" Skye gasped behind him. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe it." She looked around the corner herself. Her eyes went wide and her breathing unsteady. "He's faking it. He's gotta be faking it."
"Skye, calm down," he said, instantly concerned.
"How can I? My supervising officer has been lying this whole time!"
"Keep it together, Skye. We're agents, not teenagers."
She nodded reluctantly as he went on, "We're going in, and we'll see what's what. Remember if anyone asks, we're SHIELD."
Coulson made his way down the hallway towards Fitzsimmons. Skye and Ward followed behind.
"Yes, these agents are ours," Coulson said. "Are we done here?" There was fighting going on everywhere in the compound and he found himself worrying about young love. Coulson was such a softie.
"I'm not!" snapped Fitz from the corner.
"He is," Simmons said.
The men looked at him, her, and then Coulson. "Head injury," said Coulson easily. "Loss of short term memory. Bad timing for all of us, huh? He'll be fine."
The man started to shrug and let Coulson take responsibility, when the door opened and Skye sashayed in. Everyone turned. "Captain America lives," she said with a grin that looked fake, elbowing Ward.
"And brings freedom for us all," he supplied.
Skye gave him a coy smile, and the second he looked away at May (whose face betrayed nothing), Skye sent Coulson a look that said sorry, I panicked.
Coulson really didn't have time for whatever Skye had done now. "Men, move out," he ordered those who were with him. "Secure the building. Take hostages when you can. Surrendering is an option. Remember what we stand for and who we are."
Fitz kept his mouth shut, but Simmons could see the panic in his eyes. She would have to talk to him later.
"Skye, can I see you in the hall?" Coulson asked as most of their people shuffled out. He counted carefully. He was leaving Fitz, Simmons, Ward, May, and Johnson. Fine chances. He took Fitz's weapons just in case.
"Sure, AC," she said, but made sure to shoot Ward a worried look. She thought it was cute how he looked concerned for her.
They slipped outside, and he held the door for her. Then the door shut, and they were alone in the hallway, and the look of death was starting to appear on his face. She flinched.
"So, Ward...?" Coulson started.
"The tides were turning," Skye said. "We decided to go…undercover."
"So you turned him into a mole." Coulson looked disappointed, and she felt herself growing defensive.
"Don't yell at me about it. You're literally dragging Fitz into this."
Coulson crossed his arms. "Simmons trusts him explicitly. Can the same be said about you and Ward?"
"Better to have him where we can keep an eye on him," she said.
"He's your responsibility."
"So, what," she joked, "if he messes anything up, I have to kill him?"
"Yes."
"Wait, what?" She didn't like the hard look in his eyes when he said that. Did none of these people have a sense of humor? All the same, she was nervous.
"Skye, this has been years in the process, since before you were born. I will not let a crush ruin this."
"It's not a crush. We've been partners for –"
"I told you not to get attached," Coulson told her harshly.
"But Simmons can?"
"I'm not fighting with you right now, Skye, just informing you."
They walked back in. "Sir," called Johnson, who had a phone to his ear. "We've won."
"Any dead?"
"On our side? Hand, perhaps fifteen others. Theirs: Blake, Tripplet... Perhaps twenty five others. Five of ours arrested - good as dead, but we've got control of the base. We've got the Treehouse and several other bases, but I don't know numbers."
Coulson nodded. "Bury the dead; we're taking a bus."
Coulson pulled up the video call, sitting in his room on this bus, looking the same as always, but without the Hydra tie clip.
"Agents have released rebels from prisons and taken over government. Democratic systems are ready to take their place," reported the man. "It's shaky, but it's a good start."
"Excellent," Coulson said, ready to move onto the others. There was more than one country out there.
Ward was listening from the doorway.
"What are you doing?" Skye asked.
"Listening in," he said. "This democracy thing won't last, and someone will need this info."
Skye sucked her cheek. Yup, she was gonna have to kill him. Maybe if she made out with him, he'd understand. That had worked once. Not with Ward, but still…
Skye grabbed his face and kissed him, when he pulled back out of confusion, she said "In case we die, right?" That was all he needed to respond with enthusiasm.
"Ward," called May, and before he left he pointed at Skye and promised:
"We aren't finished with this yet."
She giggled.
Fitz heard the news and began shaking. "My family," he said. "My friends. What will happen to them?"
"They'll be safe, Fitz," Simmons answered patiently. "No one is going to hurt them."
"Were you ever going to tell me?"
"Eventually." But Fitz didn't look like he felt any better. Then he followed Ward and May, who came to lead him to his room.
The brig, or interrogation room, or whatever, wasn't the same as the one with the black box. This was more of a bedroom. With lots of locks. It made Fitz feel like he wasn't a prisoner, even though he was. Yes, they had to lock up Fitz, but he was treated humanely, which only seemed to confuse him. But at least he had Ward, who whispered to him as soon as possible that "Skye and I are with you; we're working on it."
Fitz was relieved that he'd still be able to talk to Skye.
Sure enough, she came and visited him soon. Coulson had wondered if that was a good idea, and she had told him to stick it.
"Skye?" She came into the room. Right in. Not outside through the glass. It was something.
"Hey, Fitz."
"Skye, I'm scared."
"Why?" She was curious, since they'd been nothing but nice.
"When this fails, they'll see me as a threat. They'll kill my family, friends..." But his words seemed rehearsed. There was something else.
"Jemma?" She guessed. "That's what's eating you."
"How could she do this to me?" he answered back angrily. So she'd guessed right.
"She loves you, but you know how Jemma is when she finds herself some truth: she never lets go."
Fitz glared. "I thought you were on my side." He whispered it. He held his hand up. There would be cameras and microphones both.
"Shh," ordered Skye, looking around. "Of course. But that's her point of view. That's why you love her, isn't it? Because of her integrity."
"No," said Fitz. "I don't love her."
Skye didn't call bull, which he appreciated.
Ward was gathering intel, and reporting to Skye, who he thought was being pretty lethargic about action. He sent the information. She never seemed to take much notice if he did or didn't.
"But what will we do," she asked him finally, as if she was a devil's advocate who hated to crush his hope, "if they take over entirely, and we're the only Hydra left?"
"Die," said Ward. "What else can be done?"
"We are at the hub of this," Ward said to Skye later, looking around. "Right where everyone reports. Coulson's the big dog here, isn't he?"
"What do you mean?" Skye asked Ward.
He didn't respond. He knew that Skye still liked her S.O. All of them. Honestly, he liked them too. He couldn't ask her to do what he was thinking of doing. That would crush her.
May knocked before entering Coulson's office.
"Sir, it's working. Bases are falling to SHIELD all over the world. Most of the common people are celebrating. It's become a revolution, not a rebellion."
"Yet you don't sound happy, Melinda. Why?"
She glanced towards the closed door before moving closer to Coulson. "We have Hydra right here under our noses. Why?"
"Skye's working on it."
"She hasn't been here since the beginning, Phil. She doesn't know all the lives and effort that have been put into this. Remember when you nearly died? Remember how hard Fury and I had to fight to keep you from becoming some sort of cyborg?"
"She understands, and I trust her." Coulson was not willing to change his view on Skye.
"Coulson, look, not everyone gets to keep the person they like."
"Skye deserves a chance," he said stubbornly.
"Why?" May snapped finally.
"Because I got you," he replied, and that silenced her. May stepped back, and felt a little warmth in the center of her body. But she didn't smile.
Simmons appeared at Fitz's cell, looking sad. "Come on," she said. "Don't you at least want to walk around?"
"Not with you," he snapped back sharply without even looking up at her.
She sighed before leaving to go back to the lab. Seconds later, however, his cell door was opening again.
"I told you I don't-"
"Fitz, we gotta move."
"Ward?" Fitz jumped to his feet, stared around at the cameras. Sure, he'd disabled most of them already, and sure, Ward could have taken the rest, but he had to be careful.
Ward shut the door behind him and went over to Fitz. "We're doing what damage we can, now. SHIELD's got higher-ups all over this plane. We're taking them out."
"But they'll kill us."
"Isn't it worth it? Hail Hydra."
Of course it was worth it. They were only limbs to be cut off. Fitz nodded before answering in a shaky voice. "Hail Hydra."
They ran into Jemma first, naturally. She'd only just left, and the lab wasn't far away. But she wasn't looking at them. Her back, covered by a new lab coat – she'd taken off the Hydra uniform – was facing them. Fitz hadn't thought about this. Ward blinked heavily and took aim at her back.
"No," Fitz said, grabbing his arm. "Not her."
She turned around, her eyes going wide. "Fitz, wha...? W-Ward?"
"I'm sorry," Ward told her, but Fitz had his arm.
"No!" he pressed.
Ward shook him off and took aim.
Fitz ran. He wasn't stronger than Ward; he couldn't stop him. Jemma was in front of him. Her eyes were wide and she was frozen, but she was beautiful. His partner, his other half; they'd been through everything together. So screw SHIELD and screw Hydra. (He thought in the split second he had for thinking.) He loved her. He didn't care what she'd done, what she would do, he just cared that she would still be able to do things in the future. Because she was so much better than him.
So he ran.
He pushed her out of the way just as the shot rang through the air. And then there was pain. His side crashed into the ground (that would bruise) while his other side exploded in pain (that would kill him).
"Fitz!" he heard Simmons's cry.
And then Skye was rushing in. "Oh my G-d, Ward," she said. And then she had his gun. She just took it right out of hand. Maybe because he trusted her, or maybe because he was just slightly stunned to see Fitz laying there, bleeding.
And then there were the others. Coulson and May pushed him towards a cell, and he realized he'd been made. Skye did nothing to help him, and he couldn't get away. He struggled a bit – and could only see Skye staring at him, with Fitzsimmons behind her. Her eyes were sort of empty and stunned.
Skye watched as they dragged Ward away.
"Skye, please!" That was Simmons crying. Fitz was cradled in her lap and she was stroking his hair while trying to staunch the blood flow. "Help me lift him. I need to get him to the table."
Skye nodded, snapping out of it, and helped her pick Fitz up before leaving Simmons and the other SHIELD scientists to their work.
They took more precautions with him then they had with Fitz. His hands and feet were bound together as well. He was put in the black box room. He felt stupid and worthless. There he was, in the middle of SHIELD, and all he'd managed to do was shoot one of his own.
Thinking of Skye, he realized that perhaps he had been the one being played, not the player.
Skye walked into Coulson's office and saw the screen on the computer. It showed her Ward, as he was now. Ward, her Ward. Well, that was silly, wasn't it? He wasn't hers. Never really had been, just a few kisses and a lot of faked heart-to-hearts. Some definite attachment. Now, he'd shot Fitz.
Skye couldn't help but think of Fitz. He'd chosen Simmons. They'd chosen each other, like a story in a book, and decided that there were things more important than which secret organization you belonged to. Why else would Fitz have taken the bullet?
"You know what you have to do now."
"I know."
Skye took her gun out of the holster on her right side, and studied it numbly. In reality, of course, she was far from numb. She was furious as she walked out of Coulson's office. She was thinking about the blood that wasn't in Fitz's body when she walked down the hall. Skye was flicking the safety off when she came into his room.
Ward was sitting in the corner, still tied, looking up at her with big brown eyes. She tsked. "And I was going to marry you, too," she said, but her tone was far from jocular.
"You're not really Hydra, are you?" he asked. How could he have been so stupid?
"No," she said. "I was stalling for time. Hoping to keep you alive and win you over. We didn't want to kill any more than necessary – but now I'm supposed to kill you. Because you shot Fitz, and were aiming for Jemma."
"Is Fitz dead?"
"No," Skye answered, but her eyes flickered away briefly. "Not yet."
"Will he die?"
"Simmons won't let that happen."
"Are you going to let it happen to me?"
"You freaking shot Fitz," Skye spat. "Yes, I'm going to let it happen to you, orders or no orders! You were aiming for Simmons. You aren't that cute, sweetheart. I am angry. I am so angry. If I don't shoot you, I'm just going to throw you off the plane."
"Then do it," he challenged her with a glare. "I'm not changing my view."
"Fine," she said. "I don't give a damn if you do." She nodded at him, like a salute, and pulled the trigger.
The lab was a hubbub of activity, and Simmons in the center of it all, shouting.
"What will she do if he dies?" May asked from the sidelines.
"Looks like he's stabilizing," Coulson told her.
"That's no guarantee." Not for long, not in his position. Even if he survived, they might be forced to end it. "We should be grateful that it was a Hydra agent who got him... this time. But next time? Simmons is hardly the most..."
"She's loyal," Coulson said. "She's very loyal."
"She's loyal, but to who? Us? Or Fitz?"
Coulson didn't answer. He believed in Simmons, but Fitz was her weakness. They needed to make him her strength. He needed to join them.
"How do we get Fitz? Threaten him? Brainwash?" May asked. She knew they needed him, too.
"All good suggestions. Let's try not to anything to make Simmons mad, though."
May actually laughed at that. Coulson loved knowing he had made her laugh.
Fitz stabilized. Simmons stood alone by his bedside, her hand held tightly in his. "I'm sorry, Fitz."
Coulson came and stood next to her. "Simmons..."
"I know sir. Just one more time, please? One more chance."
"He saved your life," Coulson said. "Take all the time you need. But keep him under control, please. No more violence."
Simmons nodded and took Coulson's hand for comfort. But she didn't let go of Fitz with the other.
"Gah!" cried Ward, hunching over. That hurt. That really hurt. She shot him, actually shot him – like, he'd felt the bullet rip through his shoulder and he'd seen blood spray up from it. He was actually going to die. How had he not already gathered that?
Skye stared at him for a second, her face as hard as ever. Then she marched towards him. Skye grabbed him and yanked him up, cutting the bonds on his hands. He made another noise of pain.
"No," she snarled at his surprised look. "I'm not letting you go."
She yanked him towards the door of the bus. Two cars stood there as she pulled the lever and it lowered. Two cars, and two agents who had kissed several days ago. She shoved a parachute into his hands.
"We're above an ocean," she said. "And the countries all around are SHIELD. If you survive, don't kill anyone innocent, you jerk. I hope you drown."
She shoved him off the plane. His feet were still tied. But his hands were free. She watched him fall with eyes as blank as glass.
Coulson met up with Skye. She sat in her room, her head in her hands. "Status report?"
"I shot him and then pushed him off the plane. I… I gave him a parachute though. He's… he's probably dead, though… With his feet tied… And that shoulder. I just didn't want to see him die."
"I'm sorry, Skye. I know you liked him."
She shrugged. "We do what we must. I said he'd stay in my control, and he didn't, so now he's no longer a threat. I want you to go, AC," she said, and her voice was small.
He got up and he left.
Coulson sat outside of Skye's door that night waiting for the inevitable screaming nightmares. She had them. He was there.
Coulson went into her room immediately and sat by her bed, wrapping her up in his arms as she began to sob to herself. She was awake and aware, Coulson's arms comfortingly wrapped around her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—"
"Don't apologize. The nightmares are part of the reason we're us and they're them. It's our humanity coming through." She sounded a bit like she was trying to convince herself. She was so beautiful and sad looking, all messy hair and pajamas.
"All the same," Coulson said. "We meet him again, I'm the one who shoots him."
She laughed shakily while Coulson kissed her head lovingly.
"Jemma?"
The small voice woke her from her sleep. "Jemma? Where's Jemma?"
"I'm here, Fitz. Right here."
"You're safe." He smiled softly up at her. "About SHIELD-"
Simmons shook her head. "Not tonight, Leo. It's just us tonight."
He nodded and reached his hands towards her. She took it gratefully. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
Ward floundered in the water for hours, trying not to drown, trying to rid himself of this damn opened parachute. He nearly drowned twice. He cried twice, purely from the pain in his shoulder. Not that anyone could judge him for that. He was floating in salt water.
Ward finally limped up onto the shore, soaking wet, trailing a parachute, bleeding. He wasn't safe yet. Death was about a 50% chance with this wound.
That hacker is a hardass, he thought. But a hot one.
May stepped in, glanced at the young girl in only a long shirt that Coulson was embracing, paused, and said, "Sir, I know it's late, but we've got an issue. Hand is asking to come aboard."
"Hand is dead," he said automatically. "First SHIELD agent down."
"Apparently not. Also, she brought Garrett."
"What?!"
"Agent Simmons," a guard called out as he entered the lab. "Your presence is required upstairs."
She glared at him as she sat up. She didn't want to be disturbed. It was her and Fitz tonight. "What is it?"
He glanced at Fitz before whispering in her ear. "Hand is alive and she needs medical attention."
Simmons gave a little gasp. Well, that was a different matter, wasn't it? "She's— I'll be right there." She said goodbye to Fitz.
He looked concerned, but she smiled at him, and assured him everything was fine. And then she tore out of the room and to where Coulson and the others were sitting. "Sir?"
"I don't know, Simmons," Coulson said, looking down at the hitchhikers. "I don't know yet."
Simmons looked at Garrett. "Isn't he not on our –"
"Simmons, just do your job."
"Yes, sir."
"Well," said the pretty girl who found Ward by the side of the road. "You look terrible."
It was a nice place, broken up road, lots of flora. Ward was sick to death of it. "You know a doctor?" Ward croaked up at her. "I just got shot. And pushed out of a plane."
"Depends. You gotta cute smile to match that bod?" He grinned at her. "Seems like you do."
"Who do you work for?" Ward asked as she helped him up, and he grunted.
"What do you mean by that?" she asked.
"Bleeding hot guy with a bullet in his shoulder shows up just outside of town –most girls don't try to sass him."
"What do most girls do?" she asked.
"Go for the doctor."
She laughed. "I don't work for anyone, but you'd be surprised how used to this sort of stuff I am. Knew a doctor once who turned into a giant green rage monster sometimes. So, I'm guessing you're Hydra?"
Ward grunted. "Right now, lady, all I am is half-dead. Had a hell of a breakup." He pointed to the sky. (To the Skye, he thought. Ha ha.)
"Come on," she ordered as she unlocked her car door and dragged him towards it. "Get in. I may sass you, but I'm not going to let you bleed out on the side of the road. You can call me Darcy."
"A 25cc of epinephrine," Simmons called out. "And tell Agent Higgins to get ready for stitches."
She was there, helping. (No one was in the lab when Fitz's vitals began to drop.)
"Both stable," Simmons announced soon enough. She wiped the sweat off her forehead and ended up with a smear of blood across her brow.
"Thank you, Simmons."
Skye sat up in bed suddenly, too hot. Fitz, she thought, not knowing why. She would go see Fitz. The Hydra agent that had led her to murder herself. She felt a nagging worry about him. Was he alive or was he dead? (I'll grind his bones to make me bread, chanted the childhood memory. But she hoped it never came to that with Fitz. Ward had been enough.)
She stumbled out of her room, ignoring her state of undress, and went to the lab.
Where she found Fitz gasping on the table.
"Fitz? Hey, Fitz!" she ran over and tried to sit him up, but he was thrashing too much for her to get a steady hold. "Help!" she shouted.
"Jemma!" he replied.
"Fitz, it's okay, it's fine, it's..."
"Jemma, please!"
Skye joined her voice to his. "Somebody come here right freaking now!"
May, Hand, and Coulson sat around in his office, teas in hand. Simmons clung to the edges of the room, still fussing over Hand on occasion. Garrett too was in the back, waiting to be put in his cell, tied and still carefully watched.
"You were reported dead." Coulson was the one who started the conversation.
"Reports can lie."
"Why'd you bring Garrett aboard?"
"The rest of Hydra leaders have been eliminated. We found Garrett hidden in the recesses of the Fridge where he was communicating with a mole. Those coordinates led us here."
"And the injuries?" May cut in. "How'd he sustain those?"
Hand's mouth twitched. "It's a dangerous world we live in now, Melinda May. Accidents and fights happen. Now, as for this mole, we know they're on your plane."
Coulson looked down. Hand would not be happy to find that the mole was not on their plane, nor in a grave.
Simmons turned her head away, clearing her throat. "Ma'am," she said. "The mole was Ward."
Garrett looked up.
"He shot our newest member," said Coulson. He looked up, and saw that Skye ran into the room. She was breathing hard – she'd been running. And she was in pajamas.
"What did you do?" snapped Hand, taking no notice of her.
"I took care of it," Skye reported, drawing attention to herself. "I shot him, and then pushed him out of the plane." She blinked, looked at Coulson with a dare in her eyes. "Without a parachute."
Coulson nodded affirmation, and Garrett sagged.
Skye returned to her mission at hand. "Simmons, he's awake, and he's screaming for you."
"Fi-"her eyes briefly slid to Garrett and Hand before she corrected her word choice "He is?" Skye nodded and Simmons flew. She took off through the plane, dodging around agents and structures alike. Skye began to follow after, but Agent Hand called her back.
"Agent Skye. We're going to need a full debriefing on his movements here."
"Of course, ma'am. But if I may-"
"Agent Simmons can handle it, I'm sure. Now, how much intel did he gather?"
Simmons grabbed any medically related agent she could before she ran into the lab. Fitz was still and silent. She rushed through the quiet of the lab and leaned over him.
Fitz wasn't breathing.
"Very little," she said. "He was under the impression that we were working together. I interfered with almost all signals he sent out and edited out what could be useful."
"You told him you were working with him?" Garrett asked. It was the first time he'd spoken. The silence had been too good to last, of course.
"Yes, sir."
"And then you shot him?"
"Yes, sir."
Garrett stared at her. He knew only too well the way Ward had felt about this girl. "You're a coldhearted bitch."
"Yes, sir," Skye responded coolly, but Coulson sat up and barked, "Hand, shut him up or I will."
May glanced at Coulson at his protective outburst, her eyebrow tilting.
"Oh, hell no," said Simmons. "Oh. Hell. No." She began shouting at once, pounding her hand on his chest. Finally other medical personnel began to arrive in the lab. "Get me a defil... defil..." She was too wound up to say the word. "Hand me that!" she shouted. Then glared at Fitz. "You are not going down without a fight," she snarled.
Fitz's body arched one, two, three times before his heart began to pump again and he drew in a ragged breath. Simmons ignored the relief in her heart and focused on reading his vitals. "Clear." He was stable, but she knew now that that meant nothing. "I want someone next to him at all times. He's not to be left alone! Is that understood?" Everyone nodded at her harsh tone. "Good," she stated. "Good," she repeated at a whisper as she looked down on Fitz's pale face.
"It was a clean shot." The doctor smiled at him. "But you're lucky my little sister found you out there."
"And you and your sister don't mind helping random strangers?"
The doctor raised her eyebrows. "It's what we live for, actually."
Ward looked at her for a moment. "I don't mean to be rude, but that reminds me heavily of that Scooby Doo movie where the girls turn into zombies and then try and eat the gang."
She laughed. "No fear. Actually, we're just a relief group. Hydra... well, I guess we can just say it now. Hydra made life pretty hard all around, but it's hard especially on the people who are already poor."
"You were... rebels?"
"Oh, no. We just... tried to help. Got people food, supplies, medical care. Legal, not really, but nothing to hurt anyone. We're doctors. We don't do that," the doctor said. "We even had Doctor Banner stop by and help us at some point. We were thrilled."
"With the recent SHIELD uprising, the people are doing better, but the soldiers are doing worse," said Darcy.
Ward was uncomfortable. What would they do if they knew his allegiance?
Garrett was put into the holding cell. Seemed they would empty it just to find a new occupant at every turn.
"What are we going to do with him?" Coulson asked Hand.
"We've brought his communications with us. Ward may not have much information, but at this point I'd rather him not be in the world. If he is alive and tries to contact John, we'll know it."
"And after that?"
Hand shrugged. "Imprisonment in the Fridge, I suppose. As for that new agent on our side," – she turned to Phil – "civilian or former Hydra?"
"Former," he said. "But no need to worry. A Hydra agent shot him, remember. They probably aren't in his good books."
Hand looked doubtful.
"And I wouldn't worry about Ward resurfacing," Coulson said, changing the subject. "Remember the part about not having a parachute?"
"I'll believe anyone Garrett trained is dead when I see the body. And even then, I'll have reasonable doubt."
"Garrett doesn't seem to doubt that he's dead."
They both looked at the man they had once called friend with a tiny bit of regret.
"He's good at manipulation," Hand reminded them both quietly. "Don't forget what Hydra stood for."
Ward rolled his shoulder.
"Dr. Lewis." He glanced up at her. "That's my name, in case you were wondering." She had dark hair and a warm smile. Her sister looked next to her almost an exact copy. Only her smile was full of snark and mischief.
"I'm Darcy Lewis," she told him again.
"Wyatt. Clark Wyatt."
Darcy nodded. "You don't have to tell us the real one. Clark will work fine. Comic book fan then?"
"You might say that. How'd you happen to find me, Darcy?"
"Luck," replied the girl. "So, want to go for a bit of a walk? Sis here won't mind."
"Love to," he said. "I'd like to ask a bit more about... Hydra."
"Sure. Maybe we can talk about that breakup of yours, too."
Skye walked by the prison and a voice called her back.
"What were his last words, Agent?" Garrett asked.
She looked at him. Skye really thought she hated Garrett at this point, but she wasn't sure why. Hadn't she been the one to (possibly) kill Ward? Still, she felt mean. "He made a kind of 'gah' noise when I shot him, and I think he screamed when he fell through the air." She paused. "Before that, he said something along the lines of 'are you really going to shoot me?'."
She met Garrett's cold eyes for a full half-minute. And then she walked away.
"They're falling left and right." Darcy picked her way carefully around the dirty ground. Ward followed in the shoes he had been lent. His were still wet.
"Everywhere?"
She nodded. "My friend Jane, she's back at home in the U.S., she says there are very few countries left with Hydra in it. I gotta say, SHIELD was ready for this. They had politicians ready and everything."
Ward's eyes went wide. "The president?"
"Out of office."
Ward whistled. Well, that was bad, wasn't it? Looked like his best option at this point was to go back to Skye and her team. Maybe if he asked nicely they wouldn't shoot him again.
Fitz sat on the side of the lab table, legs swinging over the ground. His side was bandaged and he had a hand over the wound. He was reaching for his nearby shirt when Simmons came in. "Higgins, why is he moving?"
"But Jemma..."
"Lie back down!"
"You are the worst," he told her.
"Hm." She sat down. "Today, we're back to SHIELD and Hydra. Agent Hand is here. Agent Fitz, you will follow my lead, or else I may follow Skye's with Ward and throw you from the Bus."
He blinked. "What, she did that in midflight?"
Simmons did not smile. "Yes."
Fitz swallowed. "Oh."
Agent Hand entered into the lab then. "Ah, Agent Fitz. Agent Coulson tells me you've joined us. Is this true?"
Simmons interjected before he could answer. "It is."
"Agent Simmons, he will have to answer for himself."
"True enough," said Fitz, with a glance at Simmons. "Though perhaps that's the pain speaking. If we could have this conversation after I recover from Ward's shooting me in the side, perhaps I will have a different answer for you."
Hand seemed ready to ignore the rest of his answer. She stood up. "Are you ready to prove it?"
May approached Coulson. "Sir?"
"Yes?"
"This may not be the time."
"No, no, I'm free." He smiled at her as he stood up from his desk and walked toward her.
"This may sound juvenile. You told me that you had 'got' me, and that's why the others deserved a chance with the people they liked. But sir, if I misunderstood your intention -"
"You didn't," he told her. She relaxed her face into an almost-smile. "I care about you a lot, Melinda May." He smiled but didn't meet her in the eyes. "Now if you don't—"
She kissed him. She might not get another chance, after all. Maybe he reciprocated, but she'd never tell a soul.
As May walked out of Phil's room, she went towards her cockpit. Skye passed her in the hall, and muttered, "Told you it wasn't me he wanted." But she was gone before May could kill her.
Ward looked around at the dingy village with horror. "Hydra is responsible for this?"
Darcy nodded. "Out here they don't care much what happens. They may stop by if a child shows promise on an aptitude test but…" She shrugged her shoulders and continued, "This is a holding place for the sheep mostly. People who won't rebel but don't have much quote-unquote potential."
Ward felt uncomfortable, but shook it off. He was well indoctrinated. Those who were useful thrived. People had to serve the state. All the same…
"He's not—"
"Agent Simmons, please leave the lab."
Simmons glared but stood. "Yes ma'am." She glanced over at Fitz and sent him a warning look. She prayed he would pass Victoria's test.
"What are you willing to do?" said Victoria once they were alone.
"Not anything," Fitz said. "Isn't that what we're about? Ideals? But," he thought of Simmons. "Most things."
"Good," said Victoria. "Stand up."
Coulson ran into Simmons in the hall, sweating, bleeding, phone in hand. "He's escaped," he said. "Garrett!"
She gasped. "Where should we…?"
"Warn the others. He might go for the cockpit –I'm going to warn May."
They ran in their own directions, forgetting about Fitz for a moment. After all, Hand was with him.
Garrett had one thought in mind: Get off the plane. But as he pounded down the steps to the cargo bay, something caught his attention. Hadn't Simmons said there was a former Hydra agent on the BUS? In critical—There. Agent Fitz. A genius and most definitely a Hydra man. The kid was loyal (even if the loyalty was mostly fear). And it looked like Hand was about to kill him as he struggled to his feet.
Fitz was nodding to Hand as her phone went off. "I swear I will—"
"Hold on," she said. "Coulson is calling." She answered the phone, but before she got it to her ear, a bullet ripped through the air and Victoria Hand fell to the ground.
"Agent Fitz, let's go!"
Fear gripped Fitz as he turned towards Garrett, who was pointing the gun at him. He didn't even have a shirt on as he was dragged out of the lab and towards the cars. "But I—"
"Now or never kid!" Garrett was already putting a chute on and opening up the ramp, gun still in hand.
"Sir, I'm half-naked," Fitz said numbly, holding a parachute in his hand like what-the-hell-do-I-do-with-this. "And I think you just killed Agent Hand."
"Boy, if they catch up, I'm going to have to kill them all, so if you want to avoid a bloodbath, we need to go."
Fitz blinked. "Let's go."
"They jumped out of the plane," Skye said, staring blankly at a monitor.
"With parachutes this time," said May.
"No need to lie with Hand down," said Coulson. "Ward had a parachute too."
"So they'll have a party down there," said Skye with a sigh.
Simmons closed her eyes. "Sir, Agent Higgins has called in – Hand is dead."
"Well, let's go then."
May started out the door, ready to land the bus. "You're tracking Fitz, right?"
Simmons looked offended. "Do you think I'm an idiot?"
Ward rummaged through their medical supplies in the middle of the night. He was going to have keep moving constantly, and the supplies would be necessary until he could find some place safe... or useful.
"Catch!" He turned reflexively and caught the bag aiming for his face. "Some non-perishable goods," Darcy explained.
"How did you know?"
"I can read people." She turned on the light. "Sis says it's an annoying habit, but I think it's useful."
"And you're... letting me go?"
"You're trained Hydra. I think you could kill us and the entire village without a gun, but you didn't and you won't."
"I might."
"No." She thrust another bag into his arms. "You won't. And when it comes down to the close call, Agent Clark Wyatt, I want you to remember this." She backed away. "Now get out of my house."
Where do I find all these really rude girls? Ward wondered as he beat it.
Ten hours later, when Ward ran into Garrett and a (very confused) (half naked) Fitz, he was glad the village was far behind. Garrett wasn't one to pull punches. Neither was he, but he liked Darcy.
"Grant," said Garrett, pulling him in for a hug. "I thought you were dead, kid."
"Fitz," said Ward, looking at the poor scientist. He had bandages around his middle. "You made it."
"When's naptime?" asked Fitz.
"SHIELD, huh?" the doctor asked when the team found her. "Sure. He ran off in the middle of the night. Try not to kill him. Nice kid."
They found them in the jungle surrounding the village. Garrett stood front and center, gun cocked and smile cocky. Ward stood to his right and Fitz to his left.
Coulson stood with May on his left and Skye and Simmons on his right. Skye had to physically restrain Simmons from running across the jungle to Fitz (who was pale from over exerting himself).
"Well, who's ready to dance?" Garrett asked jovially.
Fitz didn't feel much like dancing. He started stumbling across the clearing, and there were no gunshots. Skye wouldn't let her meet him halfway, but when he made it, their reunion was enthusiastic.
"I'm not dead," Fitz said. "I feel awful."
"It's okay," Simmons said. "Here, come here."
Skye pushed the two behind her as they both got nearer to the ground, and Fitz was letting Simmons hold him and patch him up. She looked across the clearing at Ward, and her heart ached.
"You aren't dead," she said.
"Disappointed?"
"Well, you probably will be after we have this shoot out," said Skye. "I'll be disappointed then."
He couldn't help smiling at her. "No hard feelings."
No one was quite sure how it happened later, but suddenly Ward was across the clearing, right in front of Skye. And then Garrett was yelling. Ward was over by Skye, and she was white as death, but he was chuckling.
"I missed you," he told her. "I'd rather not die again anyway, and you know the things Hydra did to this little village – awful."
"It'll never work out," she told him, but all the same, the light kisses he was pressing to her mouth and the rest of her face made her close her eyes.
"I can change," he said. "Promised a pretty girl I'd remember that."
"I shot you," she pointed out. "And stop making promises you can't keep."
They weren't listening to Garrett. They should have been, because when he realized that he'd lost, he grabbed his gun and pointed it at the group. "Fine," he said, "but I'm not going alone."
He pulled the trigger.
The young couples were too absorbed in each other to pay attention to the world around them. Coulson was busy watching them to make sure neither of the boys were about to kill any of the girls. Only May kept her eyes on the enemy. Which is why when a bullet went flying for Skye, May jumped in front of it.
"Melinda!" Phil called out as she thudded to the ground. Skye was instantly pushed behind Ward and his gun was out, shooting Garrett in each knee cap quickly and precisely. Then he was back on the other side again, stealing Garrett's gun away.
Simmons passed Fitz off to Skye and joined Coulson on the ground beside May. "This is becoming a bad habit," Simmons commented as she assessed the wound.
"May, Melinda, Melinda," Phil was muttering, trying to catch her eye, trying to hold her like she was sand on a beach and his fingers were porous and...
She looked at him and his whole body froze. "It's not gonna happen, Phil," she muttered. "I know my wounds. This one, I can't come back from."
He held her bleeding body in his hands. They had won the world. He thought to himself, what was the point, then, in saving all those people if he couldn't save Melinda? Ward and Fitz and some little boy in America who wouldn't lose his father due to Hydra – what was the point in saving them if it meant May had to die?
But he couldn't think on that for long, because then his vision was red and he was on top of John Garrett. The punches flew out of his fists. It was John's face, then Fury's, then all of Hydra, and if he could just beat him down enough he could save her.
"AC!" Skye's voice punctured his rage, but he ignored it. "AC, stop!"
"Why? He shot her."
"Look at me, Coulson. Phil, look at me!" Her voice had moved to the front of him and he glanced up. "There's a difference between us and them. You told me that. So prove that you're a SHIELD agent and let your humanity through."
Coulson shook his head. "Sometimes there is no saving someone. Sometimes death is necessary." He raised his fist.
"But is this necessary?"
"Yes!" Phil shouted. "Yes! If I can't save her, there's no point in being SHIELD. There's no point in any of this!"
"You'll regret this later."
"There's nothing left worth anything," Coulson yelled at her. "The only thing necessary is that... he... dies." He punctuated each word with a punch.
"Coulson, please," Skye sobbed, and Ward was at her side. It was too much to ask Ward to worry about May now, but the fact that he was there for Skye was worth something.
Coulson wasn't listening, but Skye had to get through. "She's calling for you. She needs you."
It turned out, what May asked for would always be more important than what he wanted. He left Garrett like a shot, collapsing to his knees by May's side. "I'm here," he said. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm back again."
Simmons was still working feverishly, tears on her face, and May was lolling her head about in pain, breathing hard. May's hand reached for Coulson's cheek, and he gently grasped it and placed it against his face.
"Phil, I love you. And I'm...and I'm happy to die on your side then to live a thousand lives with your enemy. You saved me. Don't ever forget that."
Tears ran down Coulson's cheeks, splashing their hands. "But I can't save you now."
"You can't save my body, but you saved my soul. Thank you." She smiled one last time before her hand went limp in Coulson's grip.
Coulson closed his eyes and put his face over her hand.
War. War has betrayals, secrets, love, spies, hope, beliefs, and death. The winning side can lose as much as the other. They had been in a war, and even they could not escape its pains.
Hand was dead. May was dead. Fury was dead.
Ward was not dead, and that didn't really seem fair. He barely even remembered how to cry anymore. Garrett was not dead. Skye told Coulson, later, that they couldn't play God. He tried to listen, even though it hurt that she could say that and then return to Ward. Eventually he would be glad he did.
Fitz was not dead. Simmons was not dead.
And Coulson was not dead.
In time he might even come to be glad of that.
They had survived, and that counted for something. They were Agents of SHIELD and they were heading the change of the world, and that counted for something. They had survived the war, and now all they had left to do was keep living.