10 Ways To Identify If Your Newest Resistance Agent Is In Fact
(drumroll....) The One
Check if his name is an anagram of the word 'One'
Get your hottest-looking female agent and see if she fancies him-if she does, there's a fair chance he's the One (otherwise why would she fancy him and not you?)
Take him to meet the Oracle-if she gives him a cookie, it's both blatant favouritism and a sign that he's the One
Insult and berate him, then shave off all his hair. If he then beats the living crap out of you with incredible kung-fu skills, he's probably the One (otherwise, how could he beat you?)
She if he looks really cute in a black coat and sunglasses. If he does, he'd be a great candidate to be the One (imagine the merchandising!)
Can he defeat more than ten heavily armed bad guys simultaneously? If so, he's either the One or Jackie Chan
Can he perform high-speed acrobatics to avoid speeding bullets? If so, he's probably the One (and you'll have a hard time trying to perform test No.10)
Can he fly? If so, he's either Superman or the One. Either way, you're probably onto a winner
Does he describe the world around him as a lot of flowing green numbers? If he does, he's either the One or taking some kind of amphetamine/LSD (you'd better hope it's the first one)
10. Finally, shoot him. If he stops the bullets in mid-air, he's the
One. If he seems to die but miraculously survives, he's either the One
or a cockroach (why don't those things just DIE????) If he stays dead,
tough; you've wasted an agent, and your hottest-looking female agent will
be pretty pissed that you killed her new boyfriend. In fact, she'll
probably accuse you of doing it out of jealousy. Which is a total lie,
obviously. Ahem.
(drumroll....) The One
Check if his name is an anagram of the word 'One'
Get your hottest-looking female agent and see if she fancies him-if she does, there's a fair chance he's the One (otherwise why would she fancy him and not you?)
Take him to meet the Oracle-if she gives him a cookie, it's both blatant favouritism and a sign that he's the One
Insult and berate him, then shave off all his hair. If he then beats the living crap out of you with incredible kung-fu skills, he's probably the One (otherwise, how could he beat you?)
She if he looks really cute in a black coat and sunglasses. If he does, he'd be a great candidate to be the One (imagine the merchandising!)
Can he defeat more than ten heavily armed bad guys simultaneously? If so, he's either the One or Jackie Chan
Can he perform high-speed acrobatics to avoid speeding bullets? If so, he's probably the One (and you'll have a hard time trying to perform test No.10)
Can he fly? If so, he's either Superman or the One. Either way, you're probably onto a winner
Does he describe the world around him as a lot of flowing green numbers? If he does, he's either the One or taking some kind of amphetamine/LSD (you'd better hope it's the first one)
10. Finally, shoot him. If he stops the bullets in mid-air, he's the
One. If he seems to die but miraculously survives, he's either the One
or a cockroach (why don't those things just DIE????) If he stays dead,
tough; you've wasted an agent, and your hottest-looking female agent will
be pretty pissed that you killed her new boyfriend. In fact, she'll
probably accuse you of doing it out of jealousy. Which is a total lie,
obviously. Ahem.