Author's Note: This was written for the prompt: F!Hawke/Merrill getting married.

I originally intended for this to be a one-shot, but I had too much fun thinking of the cute little details leading up to their wedding, so I will make this a few chapters.

"Everyone." Hawke called, holding up a hand for silence at the noisy and crowded table in her grand hall at the manor.

It was the Feastday after the Qunari invasion, and everyone was gathered at the Hawke estate for the event, dining, laughing, and arguing, like their usual selves.

Everyone, that was, except Isabela, who had vanished after the invasion, Carver, who had become a Warden, and Mother, who-

…

Hawke pushed back the dark thought from her mind, and motioned for Merrill to stand up with her, who had a confused smile on her face, happy to be with her Hawke, but unsure as to why they were standing.

"As you're all aware," Hawke spoke, intertwining her hand with Merrill's, giving a reassuring squeeze. "Me and Merrill have been... together for some time now."

And then that emotional knife to the heart returned. She had been expecting the glares from Fenris, Anders and Sebastian, the unsure wariness from Aveline and the smile from Varric, but she had also been expecting a euphemistic whistle from Isabela.

Once again swallowing her pain, Hawke continued. "And we have... decided to make things official between the two of us. As of this Spring, the two of us are to be wed."

Varric cheered, Aveline kept her wariness, but a smile played on her face, Sebastian looked shocked, and Anders and Fenris continued glaring.

Hawke took Merrill's hand in hers, and kissed her gently, and rested her forehead against the elf's. She knew that everyone was watching, but couldn't find a reason to care.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I love you, Ma Vhenan."

As the party began to wind down, Fenris and Sebastian excused themselves, and Hawke had begun to clean up when Anders approached her.

"Hawke."

Hawke stood up straight, a plate still in her hand, and sighed. "This is about me and Merrill, isn't it?"

"I just... do you really think that this is a good idea?" Hawke felt herself unsurprised when that was it.

"Yes." She replied adamantly, leaning against the table. They'd had this conversation a dozen times over, and she was sick of justifying herself and her lover.

"She's a Blood Mage." He warned. "You can't trust her."

Hawke sighed. "This coming from the man who brought you the idea to burn down the Circles and everyone in them to begin again." He opened his mouth to retaliate, but she cut him off. "Oh wait, it's only Blood Mages that you hate, is it? Tell me, what separates them from us, then? The fact that they use blood in place of Lyrium? Big fuckin' difference."

Anders shook his head vehemently. "That's not the problem. Blood Mages are cruel, and ultimately will be selfish, and they deal with demons for their power."

Hawke ran a hand through her hair, not wanting to have this conversation again, let alone where everyone could see them. "Well, I think that if anyone knew she was secretly evil and selfishly seeking to mind control us all in our sleep, I think it would be the woman who's slept with her. She's none of those things, and you damn well know that. She's the kindest, most compassionate person on this entire world, with enough room in her heart for everyone. And the demon thing? Rings hollow coming from a man with a demon inside his head the orders him to kill innocents."

"She'll hurt you."

And that tore it for the Champion. She tossed the plate on the table, clattering loudly and silencing everyone still in the room, who were now watching their argument.

"You know what? Maybe you're right. Maybe she'll hurt me, intentionally or otherwise. Maybe her demon'll swallow me whole, or her Blood Magic will corrupt me. Maybe she will end my life. But listen to me Anders: There's a sickness, a plague in all of society. We all see it, especially you with you 'Free the Mages' campaign. And it's this: Almost every single person in this world is all too happy to sacrifice all that is beautiful in their lives, we imprison themselves in nations, beliefs, armies, flags, symbols, taboos, so that they can deny death, so that they can look away when pain comes to them so that they can pretend that death doesn't exist. But there is only one certain thing in this world: You will die. Death is coming for everyone, and everything."

The room was dead silent, and Hawke took a deep swallow before continuing. "Death is the only fact that we have, and it's one to be embraced, celebrated. To live forever is the worst hell any man could dream of. So to hell with that: Give me beauty, and love, and happiness, and I will take death along with them. Ten thousand years from now, I will be dead, this whole city will be dead, and I will be forgotten. The only thing I have is the love and happiness that I have now. You think that my life is so precious to me that I would sacrifice the people I love for a few more years... of what?"

The room was so silent that even a whisper would have felt like a violation, and no one said anything for the longest time, before Hawke herself broke the silence. "Well then, if you'll excuse me, I have dishes to clean."

Later, after Anders had stormed out, and the others had taken their leave, Merrill went upstairs and found Hawke in her room, their room, sprawled out on the bed.

"Did you have a good evening, my sweet?" Hawke murmured, not opening her eyes.

"Of course, Ma Vhenan." Merrill closed the door behind her, and sat on the edge of the bed beside her Hawke. She opened her mouth to speak, but squealed when Hawke threw her arms around the elf and pulled her down onto the bed beside her, cuddling in her love's side. Then they fell silent, Merrill laying on top of Hawke's chest, listening to the strong rhythm, of her heartbeat.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Merrill poked her head up, and whispered. "Hawke?" Testing to see if her lover was still awake.

"Mm?" Hawke mumbled, her eyes still closed. "Yes Merrill?"

Merrill tried to speak, but the ball of anxiety in her chest made it come out a strangled noise. Swallowing her nervousness down, she spoke. "M-my love, d-did you mean what you said tonight?"

Hawke's eyes fluttered open, and she tilted her head down to look at her elf. "'M afraid that I said a lot of things tonight. What exactly do you mean?"

Merrill swallowed again, hanging in silence for a moment before speaking again. "T-that I might... hurt you."

"Oh Merrill." Hawke said in a soft, gentle tone, cupping her elf's chin in her own. "Darling, of course not. I know you won't, believe me. All I meant was that... well, Anders and I have discussed you many times before, and I'm so exhausted of his stupid arguments. So I told him that even in the absolute worst solution I still wouldn't care. Even if you somehow hurt me, I would still choose to be in your life." She kissed Merrill gently on the forehead. "I'm sorry if that hurt to hear me say that. I love you, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life."

Merrill crawled up her Hawke, and looked her in the eyes. "I understand, Ma Vhenan. But Hawke," She laid a hand on Hawke's cheek. "I want you to understand, with no uncertainty, that I love you will all my life, and I will never, ever hurt you."

"I know, Merrill. I know." Hawke put her own hand on Merrill's cheek, and they shared a tender moment with one another.

And then Hawke flipped Merrill, who gave a surprised squeal as she was pushed onto her back by her lover.

"Well then," Hawke purred in her ear, pinning Merrill on her back. "How would you like some... marital benefits?"