Separation Anxiety
In The End
By, Linkin Park
It starts with one thing
I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind
Silence, darkness, this was where he would always retreat to; if he couldn't have the one he loved, he wanted nothing. The cards were too polite to disturb him so he didn't have to worry about the only other occupants of the book. He just had to get away, get away from his other self and that boy. That stupid, silly boy had given up his own magical powers to support him – no, to support his other half. A little voice in the back of his mind, or maybe it was Yukito's, whispered to use his name. Touya. He thought back, satisfying the other half of his mind. Not that he needed to be reminded of the name of the human that had stolen the heart of his other side.
And that was what had sent him spiraling back to the book again. He couldn't understand how one half of him could just fall for that other human when the other was still so devoted to his first master. It made no sense, especially with the arrangement he had with Yukito. Yue often wondered about that; was Yukito what he would have been like as a human? Or was he simply a reflection of himself: a mirror image. Perhaps they were really not at all alike, and simply shared a body. No, it was much more intricate than that.
The Moon Guardian still had not figured out exactly why his master had made, molded, and melded together that other half of him. Didn't he love me as I was? Or was that not enough - was I too cold? Was that why he made Yukito? But the calmer part of his mind soothed him with reassuring thoughts of Clow's protective embrace, that warm disarming smile, and of those few words which, though never uttered seemed to hang between them still, even after Clow Reed's death.
A death that Yue couldn't save him from and that, strangely enough, Clow hadn't fought against. Although Yue was positive his former master could have hung on for centuries longer… He just couldn't understand humans. This only furthered his problem with his other half. Yukito was much more human than himself, he was composed the same at Yue was; yet he required food for energy, and relationships with others to ground his own existence. Yue on the other hand never needed food, drew his energies mostly from his master (Which was why Touya had to help out, all that weight on still such a young, developing master was simply too much for his kind mistress.) the moon, and darkness like the one he now occupied.
He sighed as much as one could in a void and emotionally curled in on him. So much grief still; it lasted for so long… Why was it that Yukito was the one to escape from their past? It seemed that no matter what he did, he would forever be haunted by the love of a former master and a cherished lover.
I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Soft, blurry images of the past flowed slowly through his consciousness as if trying to comfort him. When Touya and Yukito had become lovers Yue found himself retreating to his memories far more often during their times of love… times like now. It was like throwing his mind into a box, closing the lid and eating the key: anything to get away from the emotions and feelings that spilled over from his other half.
"To-ya…"
No, close your eyes, turn away, and pull back. It won't hurt if you don't let it touch you. He repeated to himself mentally, walling his senses from this fierce onslaught. Inwardly, he groaned; knowing that he needed to be touched again; also knowing that he would feel so filthy if he gave in to the dark haired boy's stirring touches. He felt filthy now. Deep down, he knew that the young man cared about his welfare as much as Yukito's… though in a different way. But he could never understand, every time they did this… It felt like rape.
Distantly, he was aware of his back, Yukito's back, touching the mattress, but all other senses were faded by now. He could no longer hear nor could he watch as his body was taken against his will – no matter how unintentional it was. The sensation of tensing muscle slipped over the top of his emotional wall: telling him what has coming. Yue stole back as much as his mind as he could identify and fled to the recesses of the book until they finished.
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
Their first time had been under a tree in the cool spring weather. Yue could easily call the image up to his consciousness. The Sakura trees were starting to bloom and the grass was green again. Though the flowers were abundant, none grew in Clow's backyard. There had been a rocky path that led to a small enclave of trees a little way from the house. Clow Reed had liked going there for relaxation, and was there for that very purpose when Yue had set out looking for him.
The Moon Guardian could never remember what had made him search out his master that day, but it hardly mattered anymore. For whatever reason, he had been looking for and eventually found his master relaxing in his favorite spot under the trees…
Clow's hair was tied back at the base of his neck, and falling over the tree root he had laid his head on. His eyes were closed, upturned gently most likely because of some nice thought. His robes were colorful and almost glowed in the late afternoon light as they fell over his lean form lying so innocently on the earthen floor.
Hesitating a moment, Yue took a few steps closer and kneeled down next to his master. He was a little wary of how to address this situation, for although Clow had been close lately he wasn't sure of his master's feelings and therefore had not acted on his own emotions. Still, Clow looked so beautiful lying there like that. As gently as possible, Yue pushed back a lock of dark hair that had found its way to Clow's face. Unfortunately, he found it impossible to return his hand to his lap. Instead, he trailed a finger down the side of Clow Reed's face before forcing himself to stop. He started to get up, when he felt a gentle hand on his arm. Shocked, Yue looked back down, to see his master watching him while sitting up.
"Don't you think it's wasteful to come all the way out here to find me, and then leave before you give me a reason fordoing so?" Clow asked quietly, smiling that unarming smile.
Slowly, the Moon Guardian sat down once more, and nodded silently. Truth be told, though, he'd forgot why he was looking for Clow in the first place. Taking a chance, he slid closer to Clow, and placed his lips against the other man's. At first his master tensed, but after Yue had prodded his lips open, Clow seemed to relax. As if physically being pulled away, the angelic creature broke the kiss, and stared at the ground between them. Astonishment floated through his mind: astonishment at having been so forward. But it was drowned out but other, warmer feelings, as he could still taste Clow on his lips.
"Is that what you came out here for?" Came a whisper that was tinged with sadness.
Not knowing what to do, and having no real reason, Yue nodded, and looked up. "I'm sorry, I know you're still getting over the loss of your wife, and my actions were uncalled for."
Silence bloomed between them, while Yue patiently maintained eye contact with his master. "You're that strongly attracted to me?" Clow whispered, breaking the gaze, and looking thoughtfully sad.
Confused at first, Yue watched his beloved master sadden so completely. "I'm sorry, forgive my actions, I will not do so again." He whispered and moved to stand, but was stopped once more
"Don't be sorry, Yue, you can't help it." Clow answered, his voice bordering on normal once more as he stood beside his creation. "It's not your fault." He added with a small smile.
"…Can't help it?" The Moon Guardian looked to where his charge's hand grasped his arm and suddenly understood. "Of course I can help what I feel. I decide what I feel, and whom I love is my own decision as well."
Clow Reed shook his head sadly and released Yue from his hold. "I should be apologizing: it's my fault you're so strongly attracted to me. It's the spell I created you with that draws you so close to me-"Yue cut him off.
"You think it's not real." He turned facing Clow evenly in his stance and in his gaze. "My love is not a spell conjured up by you as a sub-process for ensuring my loyalty. It is not fake, or then so am I!" His master considered him momentarily, but Yue went on before Clow was able to respond. "I know I'm not human, nor will ever be one. I don't desire to be any different than I am, because how I am now is how you made me to be, but I have emotions too, and I am no less a creature for my lack of humanity. Master, I know you see this." Lowering his voice and moving forward, Yue laid a hand over Clow's. "If you want me to stop my advances, you know I will at any moment you wish, but I will never stop loving you."
"Yue…" Clow Reed looked at his creation from the slightly taller view he had. The perfection he beheld; the angled yet beautiful features, the sharply intelligent crystalline of his eyes that still held a spark of innocence within, the angelic wings and smooth, hauntingly stunning body that he knew lay under folds of cloth. "I'm going to break your heart someday."
Smirking, the angelic creature moved closer still, "To break it, you have to take it first." Taking a chance, Yue pressed his lips against his master's once more. This time, though, it was different: a few strands of his hair brushed Clow's face as his own tilted slightly. Watching for a reaction through barely opened eyes, he brought his right hand to hold the man's chin gently and pull his face closer. Slowly, he was able to slip his tongue past scarcely opened lips, and deepen the kiss further. The Moon Creature's soft tongue coaxed its creator's into a dance that ran along the tops of their mouths and against each other. Finally, he pulled back.
Clow ran his tongue leisurely across his lips as if tasting them, and regarded his creation for a long moment. The kiss had left a light, hazy feeling in his mind. Briefly, he wondered if Yue knew just how seductive he was being with that kiss, and the way he was looking at him. His hand strayed to the side of his angel's face, swiping back some long strands of hair that had been freed. He was still uncertain. I don't want to hurt you…
A simple mental thought caused Yue's hair tie to come undone and float to the earthen ground. His hair fell freely down his back, and scattered about his feet, while coming forward to frame his face perfectly. Another quick thought and his sash was discarded to the ground as well, opening the top part of his outfit, and revealing the cloth still beneath it. His wings disappeared softly, and the top was dropped from his shoulders as he sought to undo the shirt the remained on his skin. The entire action was like one ghostly graceful movement. The hand he held again, and seemed never to have let go of, was brought back to his cheek and nuzzled softly.
A smile crept across Clow's face before he could stop it and he felt himself moving closer. He brought his lips close to Yue's again, and whispered softly, "I can already see your pain to come, but I do not fear it. I know you will succeed, and I know you will make me happy, but I cannot see if you accept the relief of your pain to come…" before kissing him again.
Trying not to let his master's words worry him, Yue leaned into the kiss increasing the passion between them to a blinding level. He felt Clow's hands slip from his face around to the base of his head and play, tugging gently at the hair there. Unconsciously, he moaned against his first lover's lips, and encouraged the contact. Clow broke off the kiss, but didn't move away; instead he tugged a bit harder on his angel's silken strands, forcing his head to tilt up so he could lay a path of kisses down his neck. And Yue didn't even wince, closing his eyes and letting out a long sigh of pleasure.
The kisses moved along his collarbone then back to the base of his neck, and Yue could feel the transfer of his master's hands from his hair to his right arm, and lower back. He looked down again in time to catch his lover's mouth once more. He reached out with his left hand, beginning to undo the ties on Clow's shirt. Finally, he reached skin beneath the fold, his touch like cold fire making his master shiver from the contact. Then his hand was captured and moved away, and he looked back questioningly when the kiss was broken.
"Not yet." Clow Reed smiled that disarming smile once more, and guided Yue gently downward so that they were both kneeling on the ground. "You've been holding this in… you're so insistent." He chuckled a bit at the end, and leaned forward again.
Feeling himself being pushed back, the Moon Creature submitted to and helped the movement, lying with his back on his dropped clothes and his master lying on top of him and between his legs. Clow dipped his head again, this time to Yue's chest, licking and kissing one nipple while letting his hand play with the other one. Yue groaned, and arched into the touches, while finding the cloth of his master's top and pulling it off. Finally finding bared skin; he traced patterns along the man's back, rejoicing in the small groans the touch elicited.
Clow drew back to an almost sitting position, making Yue drop his hands and look up curiously. "Your wings, Yue, grow them back."
A little unsure of this request, Yue closed his eyes and arched his upper back from the ground. The wings had always grown out straight from his shoulder blades and did not change that now, except, now there was a very solid ground only a few inches away, which the wings hit rather quickly and coincidently very hard. He winced slightly as they flared out below him; scraping the ground and bruising what skin and bone they had on them. Opening his eyes again, Yue lay back down and watched to see Clow's reaction.
"You're just like an angel…" He whispered, straddling Yue's hips, and gently ran his hands over the wing's structure. The touch made the Moon Creature coo loudly and his wings quiver. "Sensitive, there, I see." The man whispered, smirking and continuing his touches.
The light contact on such a sensitive area was quickly going to Yue's head. He gasped and shuddered as heat raced through his body. It felt so good, a pleasure he'd never felt before and was not likely to ever be paralleled. Then the hands went away, and Yue felt himself whimper. For a moment he was scared Clow had suddenly had second thoughts, and then he opened his eyes again and realized he was changing positions. Yue watched transfixed, as yet inexperienced, and showing it from the blush that raised the lower his lover went.
Clow left a hot trail of kisses down his creation's torso, and lower as he divested the pale body beneath him of its last clothing. The action caused a gasp as the white skin touched the cool air. Trailing his fingers back up Yue's legs, Clow came back to what had been the focus of his teasing touches. His breath danced over the tip of his lover's erection, making him shudder and grab the cloth beneath him. His angel was so innocent, always trying to please him, even now, when he was so ignorant of these pleasures, even now, Clow could feel him give himself over completely. No reaction was kept back, nor any touch ignored, and even as Clow was teasing and heightening the experience physically, Yue was reaching out with his senses and his magic, draping it across his master in the most erotic ways. Yet, he probably didn't even notice he was doing it. He chuckled at the paradoxes in his creation.
"Clow..."
He looked up and was met with the pleading gaze of eyes that seemed both sharply blue and softly violet at the same time. A pair of cool hands warm with life tangled in his hair and pulled him closer. He smirked and followed the movement, licking the tip of the erection before engulfing him entirely. Yue almost immediately thrusted deep into his mouth, moaning loudly from his plea being answered so quickly. Clow played circular patterns down Yue's length before he felt the telltale shudders and tasted his lover. Yue came with a yell and grasped Clow's head as if afraid he might leave.
Finally, the Moon Creature sank down to the earth again, spent so completely that not even his wings twitched in the afterglow. His lover drew back, taking off his pants as well, and then lying back between the pale legs and on top of the angel. Yue found his hands were once more upon his master's back. A pleasant sluggishness clung to his body with the afterglow of passion and he could only overcome it enough to fold his wings over and around both of them. They shivered as the open air was let into the cuts received from hitting the ground.
"Just relax Yue…" Clow murmured while setting himself on his elbows over his creation. "This may hurt at first." A slight nod from the angelic creature below him, not even a sparkle of fear. The human gave a small smile and shivered lightly as a magically created substance lubricated his own erection. He coaxed Yue's hip up a bit, then captured his mouth in a kiss as he penetrated in one swift thrust.
Bluish purple eyes went wide as a cry was devoured by the kiss. His mind was spinning even as Clow stilled inside him. The pain was still there, raw and open but also there was pleasure that welled and grew, helping him to relax as his master had wished. When he had relaxed completely the man began to thrust slowly inside him. Deeper and longer each time. Lips withdrew from his as his moans increased and his wings shook with tremors of passion so hard feathers fell upon their bodies. He sought out Clow's face with eyes that lighted at the expression of sheer ecstasy he found there.
At last, the magician came, thrusting one more time then slipping out and earning a whimper for his movements. He slipped to the ground next to his companion and was enfolded in soft wings as he slept in his afterglow under the watchful eyes of his guardian.
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the windowTrying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
More memories flashed with vivid detail, each one either destroying his heart or putting it back together. Yue floated in the darkness of the book and the longer he stayed the emptier he felt. He knew now that this is what his master had meant about breaking his heart, but he also knew it wasn't Clow's fault. All humans die, even ones that live as long as the magician had. Of course, that didn't help the stream of tears he knew would be flowing were he anywhere else in the world, but in the book all that amounted to was immense sadness spreading through him. In some ways the book was worse than a crowded room for mourning.
His thoughts strayed back to Touya; often he had wondered if that boy had been what Clow Reed spoke of when he had mentioned a relief for his pain. His master wouldn't stand for seeing Yue like this, and he knew it, but what did it matter if Clow wasn't there? The Moon Guardian berated himself for that, of course it mattered it had always mattered…
The hallways were cool and dark in the early days of autumn, freshly cleaned, and not attempting to keep warmth present. To some it was eerie, but to those who lived there, just another part of the house. The moon guardian liked the hallways; it was his nature to be cold in the absence of others just as the moon was in the absence of the sun. Yet, the hallways were not without light: it was still mid-afternoon, and the sun was shining brilliantly onto the thinly carpeted floor in slits of brilliance darkened every three feet by a wall between the windows.
"What are you doing here, Yue?" Clow's voice floated on the air like light itself.
Yue turned to his master, with the same stoic aura the walls gave off. "I am not certain." He replied quietly respectful. "I find myself wandering today."
"Are you looking for something?" Clow slowly walked towards his creation.
"I don't believe so." The creation replied, shifting softly to gaze once out of the window, before returning to speak to his creator. "Is there something I may do for you?" He questioned, hoping there was.
Clow paused a moment, then smiled in that way that could melt you were you stood. "I was just going to the library to read up on an old friend of mine, but some company would be nice."
"Of course," Yue answered lightly, starting to follow his master the remaining length of hallway. Unlike his solitary creation, Clow did not like being alone in the library for hours on end, or anywhere else for that matter; his need for companionship reflected any human's, a need which although Yue could not understand, he accepted easily.
The moon creature felt his heart constrict further, he had never understood his master's need for companionship until it was given and taken away in one blow. It was like being giving a taste of some knew, and exotic fruit, then being told you could only see it, and never eat it again. Deep within his sorrow, Yue felt his mind drift to more unpleasant thoughts, ones that hurt just to come into his consciousness. He knew for a fact that Clow would have never furthered their relationship if he hadn't pushed, but not for the first time he wondered if his master had really wanted the relationship to be as it became. Although his love was quite evident, Clow Reed's was not. He knew that Clow loved him, but perhaps not as he had wanted him to: not as he had loved his wife…
Night had once again fallen peacefully over the estate of Clow Reed, and its residents had already begun to settle in for the night. All, except for the master of the estate, whom still sat in front of a warm fire, in a soft chair within a cozy room, simply watching the flames dance as he had been doing for most of the day. Yue glanced in as he was walking by, and paused, putting his hand on the doorframe while watching silently. A part of him wanted to go inside and see what was wrong, after all Clow didn't spend so much time alone. But another part told him to go, not to bother his master, that if he had wanted to, Clow would have called for one of them.
After a few moments, the moon guardian looked to his master once more; slightly shocked that he didn't seem to have noticed his presence. Slowly, he quieted his mind and emotions to get rid of his current confusion, and stepped into the room. A smell of cinnamon wafted through the air and met him as he entered. Cinnamon… that was her favorite smell. Mourning again, then. Yue had no illusions about Clow's feelings towards his deceased loves, this one in particular. Still, not daring to speak, Yue knelt softly beside the chair his master rested in, and gazed silently at the fire; if nothing else, he could offer the companionship Clow needed.
That night, Clow Reed's face sparkled with the brilliance of a thousand tears.
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when
The manor had been cleaned, the lawn tended, magical perimeters established, travelers chased away, straying animals taken care of… Yue clicked the list off in his head. "That's it, finished." He stated to the large cat panting in the middle of the room.
"What do you mean 'That's it'? You didn't even do anything!" Keroberos huffed and flopped on the floor.
"I put up the perimeters, and made special arrangements with Clow." The moon guardian answered coolly.
"Special arrangements my furry butt." The cat snorted, and sat back up. "You never have to do anything!" Yue just shrugged in return, and started to leave the room. "Where are you going now?" Keroberos asked, exasperated.
"To get ready for Clow's guests." He paused, "You should groom yourself as well."
Letting out a long sigh, the large cat picked himself up and padded after Yue. "It never ends… Hey, wear's my head adornment anyway?" He growled.
"I believe you left it in my room that one time you gave it over to be polished." Yue replied dryly.
Kero snorted and followed the other guardian. "It's amazing how much you change when you're around Clow." He muttered, entering into the room behind Yue and starting to search for the adornment.
Ignoring him, the moon creature sat down and started looking for a brush while silently commanding his hair tie to drop to the floor. He had never liked it when his master invited friends over: it felt like he was being put on display. – Finally finding the wooden brush, Yue picked up the ends of his hair and started thoroughly brushing his hair. – And it wasn't like the creatures they brought along were very talkative unless the magicians hadn't made them. It wasn't just pride or arrogance that made him believe his master was the best out there; he had solid proof.
Yue was mostly finished with his task when Keroberos finally managed to get his headpiece on right. Stretching once, the large feline walked swiftly to the door, and then paused. He turned back and glanced at Yue, his eyes softening for a moment. "Are you coming?"
"I'll be out after a few guests arrive." He replied, looking as the he really didn't want to.
"Hey, at least you look human." Kero snorted, "That's more respect than I get." He trotted off.
Sighing, the moon creature stopped his ministrations and looked at himself in the mirror. As much as he loathed admitting it, the cat had a point. Well, he could put up with it, he decided as he started brushing once more. It's just a few hours, I don't really mind…
"Clow Reed! How nice to see you again!" Chirped an overly happy young lady as she walked through the doorway and gave him a hug. "So this is where you've been hiding yourself, not bad…" A falcon sat on her shoulder, looking here and there with eyes that showed intellect. He ruffled his feathers once then inclined his head at Clow.
The magician smiled, "It is good to see you too, Soya, please have a seat." He answered, giving a smiling nod to the bird. He led the women over to a sofa where she smoothed out her simple, silk grey dress and fixed her wavy red hair before sitting down.
She smiled at him, as her partner fluttered to a roost on the fireplace. "I'm the first one here, I take it."
"Yes,"
Clow replied politely, "But don't think you'll get to hear anything before
anyone else." He added lightly. Soya chuckled once and conjured up some tea for
herself. "But don't worry; you'll have some company while we're waiting for
everyone else."
Keroberos padded in a
second later looking at the new arrival and smiling. "I didn't know you had a
lady friend coming over!" He laughed and leapt over to her feet, sitting next
to them.
Both magic-users chuckled, Clow scratched his creation's ears, "Soya, this is Keroberos; I think you'll find him very entertaining."
"Indeed." She laughed, and petted him as well. "Well Keroberos, tell me about yourself…"
Clow Reed left the room to wait by the door for more guests; he glanced once down the hall, and gave one small, sad sigh before continuing to his destination.
Yue walked lightly through the corridor, a soft silver light emanating from him as it always did at night. He didn't bother with the few stray pieces of hair that fell over his shoulders because Clow liked it that way. His wings twitched once as he paused outside the patio door and listened to the light conversation and soft laughter coming from the half-room on the other side of the doors. Then, opened one door as quietly as possible, folded his wings back and slipped through to the lukewarm air of the night.
A few of Clow Reed's guests watched this new figure enter, a soft silver glow flooding the area as the moon might have if it were out that night. More looked up as the creature that wore a stoic air about him as a cloak moved to stand silently beside their host. Soya spoke up first, gesturing with her wine glass.
"And who is this, Clow?" She questioned, smiling brightly and moved closer. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"
Clow chuckled, as his friends moved a bit closer to his icily calm companion. Just the opposite of me, always so closed off and cold in public. He thought amusedly. "This is Yue." He spoke aloud.
"So this is the one we've been hearing about." Spoke a man with graying hair and dark clothes. "Very well done, Clow." He added before sipping his drink.
"He looks almost human." Another added, his green eyes sparkling at the thought. "How'd you do that?"
"Looks and feels like a human." Clow corrected, still smiling, "It just took a lot of extra planning." He answered politely.
Another lady walked up and inspected Yue from a short height and through short brown hair. She moved around to the back. Yue let out a yip of indignation when she tugged on his hair, and turned to look frostily at her. She chuckled, "That hair certainly is long, Clow, don't you think you went a little overboard there?" She winked back at Yue, ignoring his gaze.
"Well, perhaps, but I like it." Clow replied good-naturedly.
Soya drew in closer, and pushed some of the moon creature's hair back, causing him to look at her. She chuckled a bit, "There, now we can see him." She moved in real close, as if inspecting his face. "He's cute!" She chirped suddenly, dinging his nose and giggling.
It was all Yue could do not to turn bright red and grab at his nose. A soft laughter rose among the crowd. "Thank you, Lady Soya; I don't believe anyone has put it quite that way before." He finally answered dryly.
A third man, this one built like a soldier with a blond beard and hair, and strange blue eyes that Yue couldn't place spoke up from the back. "A sense of humor, how'd you do that?"
Soya chuckled again and glanced at Clow. – By this point Yue had concluded she was slightly intoxicated. – "I didn't do anything but give him life, everything else is his own." The host replied casually laying a hand on Yue's shoulder. "Come now, I don't want him to turn into a statue, let's continue our conversation sitting down." He offered, smiling as usual.
Silently thanking his master, the moon guardian took a seat beside Clow at the table, while Keroberos sat next to him on the floor. A few people looked slightly surprised at this, as all their pets were either behind them or elsewhere. Soya came over and nudged Yue's wings a bit, indicating she wanted to sit next him. Groaning inwardly, the guardian managed a small smile and let his wings disappear.
"That's handy." Soya stated, still smiling, getting a few agreeing nods from the rest of the group.
Clow silently withdrew a seemingly bare, leather book from his robes and set it on the table, a murmur arose from the gathered guests as they looked at it. "Rather plain for this new form of magic you wanted to show us, Clow." Commented the man with graying hair and dark clothing.
"Plain for now, yes." His host conceded. "But you must remember that both Yue and Keroberos are its judge and guardian, so they will add to its decoration when it is time for them to complete it, Adzuki-san." Yue's eyes softened ever so slightly, then stared twice as cold as before. Adzuki just nodded a small smirk on his lips. Gently opening the book, Clow Reed flicked his wrist once, sending a card out to each of the guests present. "These are what I wished to show you. They are a combination of summoning, elemental, spirit, and my own imagination." He explained.
The magic-users carefully picked up the card in front of them, and turned it over while muttering to either themselves of the person nearby. Across the table from Yue sat the man that looked more like a soldier than a magician, he sat looking at his card intensely, then paused and drew it close, trying to make out the odd language on the bottom. "The-"
Yue shot out of his chair, hand raised, "No, don't-"
"Windy."/ "-read it!" They both finished at the same time. A gust of wind blew as a young wind nymph sprung from the card. It was a simple matter for Yue to command the card to stop, of course, but it was rather irritating to the other guests who had their clothes and flying friends ruffled up. The moon guardian looked to the offending magician, no amount of respect showing in his eyes, his stance or tone of voice. "These cards, though made by, and bend to the will of Clow Reed are also activated by others with large amounts of power when read aloud. I suggest you don't do so in the future, Lord Saizu." He stated coolly as Windy settled down to floating above the table.
Saizu looked like he wanted to rip off Yue's head, but refrained from doing so long enough for Clow to recall Windy and the other cards to his hand and place them in the book as his creation took his seat once more. "What Yue has said is true, if one does not know how to control the card's powers, then its will shall guide it. Unfortunately, most are elementally or spiritually based, therefore the primitive thought process."
The others nodded, a few re-adjusting their clothing and calming down their pets. Saizu stood, "Is this all you wanted to show us?"
"No, I also wanted to tell you that these cards will be the only magic known centuries from now." Some angered and shocked faces, but Clow rose from the table, turning as he continued to speak. "I, as all of you, am extremely disheartened by this. So what I wanted to do was show you my advances in hope that it will spark some thoughts of your own. You are all very skilled, and I do not wish to see such knowledge be thrown away. What I would advise is to acquire disciples and teach them, don't keep the wisdom to yourself anymore. I will do this through my lineage and have made further arrangements for what is to come; I hope all of you will do the same." He finished, standing a bit away from the group and looking at them with a sad, serious expression.
Kerberos got up from his spot and trotted over to Clow, nuzzling his leg softly for support, while all Yue could do was sit and keep to himself. A profound silence settled over the guests as they let the information sink in. After a few minutes past, Soya stood, and walked over to Clow, touching his shoulder lightly. "I thank you for the advice, dear friend." she answered quietly, and then turned to the group with a small smile. "Well, I think we'll all take the advice to heart." A few muttered affirmatives and the rest nodded. "Now, shall we not continue sharing for tonight? I don't wish to leave burdened so heavily without merriment."
They began milling around again, talking with each other; Saizu walked over to Clow after Yue himself had done the same. "I'm really intrigued to know how you achieved such animate servants, Clow." He began, seeming to ignore Yue and Keroberos both of whom were trying for Clow's sake not to glare. A small dot of light shown on the ground and a small figure wavered into a view. It was a young girl no higher than Yue's waist with deep, large green eyes that had no pupil and wavy forest green hair. Her hands were webbed and long, and she was dressed in a simple dress of flowers. She smiled, but her eyes were blank. "This is Suza; I've been working on her for a while now and haven't been able to come near what you've achieved." He explained, almost asking for help.
Kneeling, the moon creature looked at Suza; she turned to him in response. It was automatic, he observed, there was no recognition of another being resting in her pupil-less eyes. Both magicians watched this movement carefully, one waiting for the other to call back his pet, and the master gazing down with pride that his own creation was assessing the situation. "You created a sentient being and gave her response, actions, from what I can tell personality as well, but you did not… connect her." Yue finally explained quietly. "The life is separate from the entity…" He continued trying to explain what he was feeling from the young girl. He extended his right hand to the figure's temple, "Try doing… this." As he finished his sentence a strong flow of magic snapped into Suza and clicked into place. She blinked once, then looked at him and smiled before turning back to her master, and siding next to his leg, the spark now filling her pupil-less eyes. Yue stood up.
Saizu bristled with anger, and withheld it quickly as jealousy from being showed up like that crept in as well. He smirked, "I see you've also taught him some nice tricks."
That struck deep, for a moment Yue wished that the magician had kicked him while he was still kneeling so he could at least retaliate, but he couldn't now, so he just bit the inside of his cheek and tried not to glare too hard. He looked to the cold sky once, and then turned to Clow. "I'll go get that extra tea you wanted now, Master." He stated as quiet and as respectful as he could manage before walking back through the patio doors and deep within the house.
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matterThe moon creature watched the last guest leave as he stood beside his master. Clow gave a long sigh, looking very worn, and for once, old. The very thought made Yue's heart freeze over solid, turning his eyes to diamonds that twisted the light to keep his grief from showing. His master turned from the door, and started walking slowly down the hallway to his room as if in deep thought. Yue followed closely, his light illuminating the halls just enough for them to see. Clow paused in the entrance to his room, on hand on the doorframe, before turning around suddenly and looking at Yue closely, as if inspecting him.
His creature stood silently, meeting his gaze once before it swept over the entirety of its body: memorizing each detail lying beneath creases of clothing. Finally, that inspecting gaze came to rest on the adornment fitted upon Yue's left ear. Feeling the intense stare fix on the piece of metal, Yue looked back at Clow with a solemn question in his eyes.
"I made that for you and Keroberos as a gift," He sighed and his shoulders drooped as an unseen weight fell upon them. "But they saw it as a tag. I have marked you as nothing more than pets."
He
feels bad for what they are like. Yue realized with a shock. "I still see
it as a gift; it always has been and always will be an endearment to me." His
master didn't seem convinced, so he went on. "I don't mind…"
Black hair swung softly as
Clow shook his head, "I saw your reaction; I felt your reaction to what Saizu
did. If you had reacted differently, I would have asked him to leave."
One of Yue's wings enfolded, and brushed the man gently. "It's alright, Master." He extended his hand slowly as well, "I have grown used to it, and I have you: that is enough."
Clow caught the soft skin of his angel's wrist. It was wrong, he made Yue like this, he make him accept anything if only to keep him happy or in good standing. He couldn't stand that cool touch, not tonight… "Not tonight, Yue." The hand was instantly withdrawn and the wing refolded. "I need some time to think."
"As you wish." The moon creature murmured and pulled back, sadness and concern welled inside him, gathering like a hot power behind his eyes, then was scattered through those diamonds and refracted into the light. "I'll get you some tea-"
"No, go to bed." Clow answered, then saw his lover withdraw and hastened to add, "You won't do me any good half asleep because you stayed up all night worrying." A smile spread across his lips. "I just have some things I want to sort out, I'll be fine."
Yue felt torn apart; a part of him wanting desperately to console his master, and the other part wishing only to follow Clow's commands and hope that would please him. He looked away mutely, and bowed slightly, indicating his acceptance of an order, then went swiftly down the hallway. What did I do wrong? He thought, leaning against his door a moment before walking to his bed and making his wings disappear. If he's unhappy it must be something I did… but what? I was polite and I followed his orders… Clow, why are you so sad? Why won't you let me help? He peeled off his clothes, and slid into a bed that, like everything else, Clow had provided. He curled up, not tired, never tired, and not wanting to dream.
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Clow watched Yue with soft eyes until the angelic creature had left his cone of vision, then sighed, suddenly feeling much more tired. Turning, he stepped into his chambers and closed the door behind him. He began to absently change from day clothes to his nightclothes. The sounds made by the cloth as it slid off his body or on were the only piece of reality that made it to his mind. His thoughts were down the hall, resting silently on his elegant creation. Pet. he corrected, sinking into the gentle comfort of cushions on a sturdy wooden frame.
Frowning as he leaned against the back of the furniture, Clow closed his eyes and let the light of the moon calm him. He knew that he was the only magician that truly viewed things like Yue and Keroberos to be living, breathing, and sentient beings. They were different from a cat or a slave – not that he believed in that either – unfortunately, not many shared his views, and he had forgotten that. It was easy to forget now, living how and were he was, the only sadness left in his life was his dead wife, and the sadness of life itself. Yet even those were easily forgotten around Keroberos, with his playful personality, and Yue… He opened his eyes and looked thoughtfully at the moon. Yes, Yue, the breakthrough, the one being all the magicians wished to watch and observe, his Yue.
It surprised him, somehow, that he had never let himself think of the situation between himself and Yue. He had never meant it to be such that it was. I have never before been attracted to a man, yet when I made him it was to bring a sense of companionship… His thoughts trailed off and he cursed himself silently for being such a fool. Of course you'd be attracted to him; you made him everything that you're not. Calm and reserved where you're open, cool, when you're warm. Even physically: long, silken, thin white hair, versus your short, thick, black hair. Tall enough to be intimidating to others, but shorter than yourself: perfect. The word rang across his mind: perfect.
The moonlight was getting painful to look at, Clow turned away; causing the loose strands of his hair to fall in front of is face. It's true that it was because of him alone that Yue lived and breathed, but it was also true that it was because of his forgetfulness that Yue now lay in his bed; most likely blaming himself for something that wasn't his fault at all. He was putting that beautiful creature through more than he ever had to go through himself, and he knew it wasn't right. Now, nothing was right, but… But I'm still here. I can make at least some of it right. He thought determinedly, standing and leaving his room.
One thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme to remind myself of how
I tried so hard
He slipped silently down the hallway, until he reached Yue's doorway. He paused, watching the pale form lying still on pristine white sheets. Everything about his room was crisp, clean, without defect. It was exactly what he needed, and never was anything asked for, nor wanted for decoration or comfort. A sad smile formed on his lips, as Clow Reed walked inside without a whisper of noise. Always perfectly content with what's been given to you… Soundlessly, Clow glided under the white sheets, and wrapped Yue in a gentle embrace.
He nestled his face against the base of Yue's neck, and inhaled deeply. Slowly, the realization that his angel was shaking washed over his senses. Gently, Clow ran his hands down Yue's arms; warming them with his touch. "Yue," He whispered. "I'm sorry I never thanked you for doing such a good job. It's alright now…" He felt Yue shift slightly, and pulled his head back, and noticed the dim light catch the silver adornment on Yue's ear. Clow frowned slightly from the feeling of utter happiness that swept through him at the sight of it.
Yue turned around so he was facing Clow, hands and arms between their chests. He looked unabashedly into his master's eyes as tears streamed down his face. Crying, he's... crying… Clow bit back a gasp of surprise, and raised his hand to wipe away the tears.
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Ducking his head before his tears could be wiped away, Yue leaned his forehead against his master's chest. "Master, I'm sorry, please forgive me… I – I know it's not my fault, but I am the cause of your problems… I know I am." He whispered, placing a still shaking hand to the cloth just below his eyes. "I never wanted to cause you any pain-"
"You have never caused me pain, Yue." Clow answered evenly, as if merely stating the truth.
"That's not true." Yue stated, looking back up. "I'm causing you pain now, because I'm crying, I'm sorry, I'll try to stop." He tried wiping away the tears but they never ceased. "I can't seem to stop though…" He continued, "Just the thought that there was something wrong, that… that I couldn't fix…" He trailed off again, and looked away, whispering yet another plea for forgiveness.
Arms immediately held him tighter and Yue suddenly found his lips pressed against Clow's. His eyes drifted shut as his lips parted to allow their tongues to meet, pressing gently between them. His mouth was completely invaded; the kiss going far longer and becoming far deeper than they had previously shared. He had been claimed. The moon creature relaxed entirely; completely malleable to the will of the man next to him. When he was finally released, Yue found himself panting for breath even as his eyes shone brightly from the lack of tears, and his body stilled from the quiet shaking his crying had caused.
"You can't fix everything, Yue." Clow whispered, pushing some hair out of his creation's face. "I had to learn that tonight as well. I was disappointed and depressed with how they treated you, but I was only proud of the way you acted in return." He smiled, and Yue felt any semblance of cold left inside of him flow out. "And I finally gave myself a chance to think over our relationship. It was wrong for me to send you away when all you wanted was to help me, for that I'd like to apologize. I know the extent of your feelings very well, Yue, remember that."
The moon guardian's breathing that had once been shaky was now soft and easy, his eyes, once hard with grief, fear and remorse, now shone with tenderness never before seen there. He leaned close, bringing their bodies together, and touched his lips to Clow's. "I know I can never hide anything from you, nor do I feel the need to." His hands roamed across the body beside him, exciting it under his velvety touch, as his eyes met the dark gaze of his master. "Will you let me comfort you now?"
Clow smiled warmly and kissed Yue's forehead. "Yes." He breathed against the pale skin while pushing Yue to the bed and setting his already aroused body on him. His mouth blazed a trail from Yue's temple to his ear, "I only wish I could save you the pain to come…" He murmured into his creation's ear, causing a shiver to run through the body below him.
"When you leave me," Yue stated, giving his body over entirely to his master's wishes, "it won't matter, I will still love you." He finished simply, nuzzling against Clow's neck as his master situated himself. Their eyes met once more as Clow silently asked if Yue was ready, Yue answering in much the same way. His neck arched up and his mouth opened silently as Clow penetrated him. There had been no preparation this time, but Yue would not yell out, would not twist and squirm, would not cry… As long as master was okay, as long as Clow was happy, nothing else mattered.
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me (in the end)
The room was painted white, yet it still felt so dark inside it. The walls were plain, and there was no carpeting, nor mats lying across the bare floor. The moon creature felt cold; colder than he had ever felt in his life. Standing in the middle of such a room made him want to hug his arms tightly around himself to fend off the frigid air. It wasn't even winter yet, yet… he felt something strange in here. But, he couldn't move his arms or even turn around, he was held firmly in place by a binding spell.
Which was… odd. Clow knew he would not move from this spot if he had simply told him not to, but he hadn't. The man had shown him in, told him were to stand, given him a light, sweet kiss, placed the spell on him, and left again. Yue didn't question it of course, though he had wondered more than once as to why his master had put him here. The spell itself was weak, the moon guardian could easily break out of it on whim, and so he wasn't too worried about being able to get to Clow if something happened. But still, something nagged him, after all; the last time he had been in this room was… when he was created.
The thought struck him as yet another thing that was wrong here. How long had it been since Clow had brought him to life? Did it matter? No. He thought silently, but he was starting to wonder what his master had in store for him. Clow had been gone for a few hours now, leaving Yue to stand there, alone, in the brightly dark room, surrounded by magic, enveloped in his emotions. I wonder… Is this nervousness? Nervous of what though: he had nothing to fear. Indeed, he'd never had to even think of such things before, especially not around Clow. That worried him, an emotion he was well acquainted with.
Suddenly, there was another being in the room with him; Yue could feel the presence behind him the second it had entered. It wasn't Clow. He itched to turn around, to look over his shoulder, to cast a spell, to do something that would reveal this unfamiliar presence, but he didn't. His master had put a restraining spell on him for a reason, right? The moon creature found himself in a situation that most would find utterly terrifying, and yet, he was only curious.
Whatever it was moved, he couldn't tell how he knew, but Yue had the distinct impression of a hand reaching to his back. He couldn't even tense in anticipation. Just when he should have felt the touch of another being between his shoulder blades, a strange sensation overcame the same spot. Strange was the only way to explain it. It felt, almost like a cloud was passing through him, not that he had ever experienced that. He found himself even unable to gasp at such an odd feeling. Something had just gone straight through his back, but not out through his chest, and it wasn't even painful.
More of the strange feeling followed the initial touch, as Yue felt something drift into him. Suddenly, another set of thoughts came to his consciousness. That startled him. The spell held well, though, and Yue didn't even blink in surprise.
Its all right Yue just relax… Clow's soothing voice floated through his mind.
What's happening? Yue asked in return, showing only concern and curiosity. When no reply came, the moon creature let out a mental sigh and tried to clear his mind.
Something, someone else was there with him, inside him. A small, warm ball of consciousness was lying comfortably in the back of his mind. Comfortably for the creature, it made Yue feel uneasy. Who or what was this thing? It was there, and with a sinking feeling, Yue realized Clow had wanted it there. Why? Why did he do this? Thoughts of failure screamed through his mind as he tried desperately to get a hold of something that would ease his mind. Calm, that's what Clow said, there's always a reason…
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when
Clow walked back into the room he had vacated hours ago. He saw Yue still standing in the middle, frozen, he hadn't even tried to move. Clow Reed had not meant for the preparation to take so long, a feeling of sadness veiled his normally happy, calm expression. He had not wanted to scare his creature. Yet, even now, as he felt nothing to indicate Yue fighting his spell, he felt his creature's mind stumbling over itself to grasp what had happened.
Before noticing he had moved, the magician found himself standing next to the guardian, watching him intently. Yue didn't see him, didn't even recognize that he was there. He frowned, and placed a hand gently on the cool flesh of his angel's cheek. Nothing. Taking his hand back, Clow watched silently, waiting for Yue's blank gaze to register his presence. Suddenly, it stopped; all the mental energy just… stopped.
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Yue found himself staring eye to eye with his master, a moment later, he sensed the spell leave him and he still didn't move. Thousands of emotions ran rampant through him. Fused. That was the only thought in his mind now. He fused me! But why? WHY? His face remained still despite the one single thought that kept repeating itself. That lump of consciousness was another life, another soul, another mind but not - not another body. They had been fused together like two pieces of metal.
Slowly, the moon creature dropped his gaze to the floor, thinking, hurting, condemning. I wasn't good enough. His thoughts stopped and his emotions ran wild inside him. Empty, he was utterly empty.
"May I be excused?"
His master touched his chin, bringing their eyes together again. "Yue-"
"Please, I would like to leave now." Yue interrupted.
Clow watched him closely for a moment. "What's wrong, Yue?"
"I would like to go outside, master, may I leave?" The moon creature repeated.
"… Of course." The magician finally answered, something discernable showing in his eyes.
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
He hadn't realized that he had left the room before he was outside. The sun was setting, and the air was crisp, but he didn't notice either. The dirt road leading from Clow's house to the surrounding villages was empty, as usual, so he didn't have to worry about anyone else. The emptiness welled inside him, making him walk faster, extending his wings to the air, moving him quicker. He had to get away, had to think, to clear his mind. Yue almost laughed out loud. His mind? Not anymore. The thought was pulled inside the void with everything else.
Streams of sunlight thinned as the forest around him thickened, and he came to a part of the road he hadn't been on before. One of his senses told him that this was the farthest he had ever been from his master's estate. He didn't pay attention to it, just kept walking, a calming dizziness settling warmly over his mind. Part of his logical mind told him that he should go back, should stop and rest because he had never had to draw from Clow from such a distance, never had to rely completely on the moon, that he was drained from what just happened, and so many other things that he knew he should have listened to. But he didn't, and the dizziness finally overcame him, causing him to sway and his wings to tear against low hanging branches. The ground welcomed him with open arms.
I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know
Light, something was glowing on the other side of his eyelids. Slowly, he was able to open his eyes enough to squint at the bright light of the sun streaming in through a window to his left. After a moment of disorientation, Yue opened his eyes completely and was shocked to find he was staring at a ceiling he didn't recognize.
"He's up!" A small voice called out next to him.
He sat up too quickly, and watched as the far wall twisted and blurred. Delicate hands caught his shoulders and stabilized him until his vision cleared. Yue nearly jumped from the contact, and jerked his head to his right, finally able to see the person helping him. "Who are you?" he asked coolly.
"My name's Cela." She answered, smiling reassuringly. "Don't worry, my father found you on the road and brought you home, you've only been out for a night."
Letting the information sink in, the moon creature observed the human next to him. She looked considerably shorter than he was, about 14 years old, with short black hair and dark skin. Her face was small and round, with large brown eyes, a small nose and rosy lips. The rough gray dress she wore didn't suit her, but he supposed she really didn't have a choice in clothing. At second glance, the room looked like it was old and poorly kept. Cela had moved to get something on the floor; I should tell her my name: she seems nice enough. "I am Yue."
The young girl looked back to him, holding a bowl. "That's pretty, it fits you."
Of course it does, he named me after what he made me like. Before he could comment, though, an older woman entered the room. She looked like Cela only a bit taller, and sterner. Her hair was pulled back in a tight bun and had a few gray streaks in it. Instead of a dress, she wore a smock and pants that stopped halfway down her shins, with a rope tying the smock to her waist.
"Did you give him something to eat yet, Cela?" She asked in a strict, alto voice.
Cela held up the bowl. "I was just about to mother, he just woke up."
"I don't need anything." He answered before the soup was offered. Between waking up and the mother walking, Yue had finally realized that his wings were gone, probably because he had lost consciousness, and most likely the only reason why these humans weren't afraid of him.
"Don't give me that, you're exhausted that's why you collapsed, you should eat something." The mother replied, walking in further. "What's your name?"
"Yue." The word was cold, but for some reason, Yue didn't glare or fight with the woman. Something about the way she held herself and talked told him that she was just worrying for him, and utter stranger. It startled him, after all, the only humans he knew besides Clow treated him like a pet, and were cold towards him. He watched her curiously.
"Motoko-san said he found you on the intersection that leads to the Reed estate." She continued, bringing a cup of water over and giving it to him. "Are you from there?"
Motoko? Must be her husband… "Yes, I am." He said finally, dropping his gaze to the sheets.
"Couldn't you tell mother? Look at his outfit, it's so pretty." Cela giggled, and offered the bowl to Yue.
That was right, these people obviously didn't have the kind of wealth or resources that Clow had; they weren't used to seeing people clothed as he was. Amazed at his own sloth since awakening, he spoke softly. "I work for Clow Reed; my clothes are just what he gave me."
"Does he treat you well?" The mother asked, sitting down and shooing her daughter from the room.
"Excuse me?" His head shot up, eyes staring frostily at the woman beside the bed he sat on.
"You look exhausted, Yue-san, but it's not a physical exhaustion."
He looked at her in astonishment; someone was worried about how he felt? What he thought? Clow was the only one that ever cared. His mind swirled with new thoughts and realizations. "Yes." He finally managed, looking to her eyes. "Of course my master treats me well. I just… I had to get away for a while."
She didn't seem to by that answer completely, but was smart enough not to pursue the topic. "You may call me Aemi. My husband will be home from market in a few hours, why don't you eat something in the mean time, and I'll warm some water for a bath?"
Yue blinked, "A bath?" This woman was really confusing him.
She laughed a bit at his expression. "You were so cold when Motoko-san brought you in last night. Food to warm you inside, a bath to warm the outside, and all your fears will melt away."
That actually sounded rather nice. For the first time, Yue felt himself smile in the presence of someone other than his master. He gently picked up the bowl of soup and tried it, finding that the concoction did, in fact, spread warmth through his body. The emptiness receded just a bit, and the consciousness in the back of his mind hummed slightly. "Thank you, Aemi-san."
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
A few hours later, Yue sat outside with the young girl he'd met just that morning. It was strange, to feel so relaxed around a human, a girl for that matter, so young and naïve, and yet… something about her made him feel comfortable. He had never experienced that from anyone other than Clow himself, let alone a girl, part of the species he'd had the least amount of contact with. Even with Kerobearos, Yue felt the need to keep some kind of guard up, but with Cela and her mother, it was somehow different. Everything was so confusing, and yet, Yue didn't feel the need to sort out everything.
A small hand in front of his face brought him out of his thoughts even as he heard Cela inquire, "Yue-san… that's the third time today! Are you sure you're alright?"
"Yes, I am sure," he replied, sitting up a bit straighter on the grass covering the lawn behind Cela's house. "I'm sorry, were you saying something?" His tone was cool, yet the way he held himself, and the way he talked didn't seem to affect these people. Another curious thing, he'd remind himself to look into.
She giggled and plopped down next to him, "Yes I was, Mr. Daydreamer." When he automatically drew back from their close proximity, Cela grabbed his hand and jumped up, pulling the poor creature off balance. "And now, I'll have to show you instead!"
Yue let himself be pulled up with only a slight glare of indignity. "Show me what?"
"Yue-san, is it this beautiful all the way to Reed's Estate?" She asked suddenly, guiding him along a dirt path.
The question took him by surprise, as did everything this child did, but he managed to answer, "Yes, Kerobearos takes care of the grounds-"
"Is he a friend of yours?" Cela interrupted.
"…He's more of a brother… a younger one."
Chuckling quietly, Cela pulled her stoic friend up to stand next to her on a rock. "We're here!"
Yue looked around silently, below him was a small stream that looked like you could easily walk across it, to his right was the house they had come from, and to his left was the meager start of a forest with some flowers at its base. The sun shone down gently, warming the scene slightly while a soft breeze blew. It wasn't as beautiful as Clow's agriculture, but it felt so comforting.
"Nice, isn't it?" Cela asked, sitting down on the rock slab, and hanging her feet off the edge and just above the stream. "I come here once every day, after chores and before afternoon lessons. Sometimes it's nice to just sit and relax, you know?"
The moon creature felt out of place, No, no I don't know what that's like, he admitted silently. He sat down beside the young girl, putting his chin on the top of his left knee. His hair fell to the ground below the rock and was tugged gently by the wind. Yue closed his eyes momentarily to enjoy the little moment of peace. "This is pleasant."
Cela laughed, and leapt to her feet. "Yue-san, I have to go, but you can stay as long as you want, okay?" Without giving him a chance to reply, she hugged him tightly then ran off.
And the angelic creature was left in shock by the stream.
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Dinner had been enjoyable, to Yue's surprise, and although he didn't need to be nourished as humans do, he found the food a delightful change of pace. Motoko-san had showed up about halfway through dinner, and had sat down without so much as a word or glance to Yue. Afterwards, however, the man excused the girls from the room, and asked to speak with the moon creature privately. Yue was automatically apprehensive, and fell back on years of frosty arrogance the moment the women left the room.
"Don't worry, Yue-san, I just want to talk." The man tried in a gruff voice, but to no avail, he noticed. He had dark brown hair that was tied tightly into a ponytail at the base of his neck, and brown eyes that looked at Yue sharply as the man talked. "You know I'm the one that found you, right?"
"That is true, your daughter told me." Yue answered coolly, then added, "Thank you."
"You're welcome, although I must say you were quite the sight when I found you." He leaned back a bit and lit a pipe; smoke swirled up to the wooden ceiling. "First thing I thought I was imagining things, then I thought you a fallen angel, wings torn and muddied," he watched closely for Yue's reaction, and seeing none, continued, "after that, though, I decided to help you out, and the moment I pick ya' up, -poof- no more wings."
The moon creature shifted his gaze slightly, not sure where he was trying to look. On the one hand, this man had shown good hospitality, and caring for picking him up in the first place. On the other, he was asking questions that were rather personal and surely not his right to add… right? "What is it you want to know?"
"What and who are you?" Motoko-san set his pipe on the table and clicked it once against the surface. "I do have my family to worry about after all, and although we're far from the village, rumors can start. I just need to know something about the stranger I'm harboring, you can understand that, ne?"
Yue sighed, Motoko-san did have a point, and both Cela and Aemi had treated him well. With less than a thought, the angelic creature grew his wings out behind him, not surprised to find them already healed. "They go away when I loose consciousness." He explained in a quiet voice, then looked up to meet Motoko's gaze with one full of pride. "I was created by my master, Clow Reed, some time ago, as his guardian. Unfortunately," he paused, not sure why it was he had even left in the first place, "I felt I had to leave for a while…"
"You don't have to worry; you're welcome to stay as long as you need." Motoko-san announced, to the utter disbelief of the creature in front of him. "However, you should know that your master himself came by looking for you today, while you were with my daughter."
Yue's gaze flickered to some emotion unknown even to himself. "Clow? Clow came here?"
"Yes, he did, seemed pretty sure that you were here too. He just showed up, knocked on the door –Aemi answered it of course- and asked to see you. Remember, this is all second hand from what my wife told me, but she tends to tell a story straight." The smirked and chuckled a bit, "She off and told 'im that you were getting some 'much needed relaxation' as she put it, and that you'd come back when you were ready."
"She-…" The thought died on his lips, as Yue struggled vainly to overcome an onslaught of emotions. Shock, disbelief, fear, even through joy, the magnitude was amazing, causing the emptiness to shrink again.
"Got some nerve, that woman; 's why I married her, though. Aemi told me that your master just smiled a bit sadly and gave her this." At that moment, Motoko pulled out something that caught the flickering light of the candles lighting the room and glittered green.
Yue took it, studying it intently with crystalline eyes. This used to be his wife's, why would he give it to me? "That's all?"
"He also said to come back when you're ready." The man reclined against the back wall of the room. "I'm assuming you know what he means."
"I do."
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Yue looked at the road behind him to see if it was clear, and finding it was, turned back to the direction he was going and gently lifted into the air. He glanced down at a pair of small ornaments in his left hand. One was the green lacquered hair piece that used to belong to Clow's wife and the other was a small chain Cela had made secretly in her father's silver smithy. It was simple, but Cela had been so proud of it that she practically glowed when she gave it to him. Tucking both inside his outfit, Yue trailed his now empty hand along the tree tops as he flew.
He still wasn't sure how to handle this new presence in the back of his mind, or the new thoughts the Makita's had spawned, but at least the small family had given him a small retreat from his life. Landing gently on the familiar lawn, Yue took a moment to look around before re-entering the estate of Clow Reed. Though confused in other points, he knew an apology was in order, which meant he had to find his master immediately; no doubt Clow already knew that he was back.
A small fear sank back into his mind; will he be upset? Angry? Disappointed? Yue shuddered at the very thought of displeasing his master so, it wasn't like him and certainly not what he had intended. But, if he had, he knew he'd face the consequences even if he did not have to. Briefly he wondered if Clow had missed him at all, and felt the lump of consciousness clearly in the back of his mind. It didn't matter; nothing seemed to matter any more. If he had bothered to feel around, he would have noticed that the manner felt like night, like something had changed. But that wouldn't be something he would notice until he looked back on his memories some many years in the future.