It's one of the few subjects he has little information on. His brain, which can usually come up with over a thousand and more ideas a minute comes up blank when it's asked for all it knows on funerals. For someone who deals with death on a regular basis due to his job, Spencer knows very little about the logistics of funerals. He guesses he should feel grateful that he has lived for forty two years and has such little need to acquaint himself with what to do when someone dies, but all Spencer can feel is horribly unprepared. This is a new feeling, and not something that sits easily with the genius. He prides himself on always knowing the answer, being able to use his eidetic memory to recall anything and almost everything, and his reasoning skills to fill the gaps that are left, but he doesn't think that it will work this time. Death and Funerals are not logical, they do not follow a reasonable pattern, they cannot be understood with maths or equations; they require reason, but also stoicism and acceptance; three things that Spencer is fresh out of.
Spencer Reid thought that death would mark the end; but it doesn't. It just starts a whole new phase, where the life is categorized and carved up into assets, anecdotes, and numerous decisions that Spencer doesn't want to make. Will it be a church funeral, or will they do it somewhere else? A burial or a cremation, will there be hymns or favourite songs played during the service, who will be invited, who will be left out, where will the final resting place be?
It doesn't feel right that he has to answer all these questions. He doesn't remember ever signing up for this, and he most certainly does not think that he is the man for the job, how can everyone be confident that he will make the right decisions? They don't a small voice in his head supplies unhelpfully. It is strange that even after all of these years the small contrary voice in his head still sounds like Tobias Hankell, well the father personality at any rate. Yet Spencer can't help but agree with it, and feel that every decision that is forced upon him is another opportunity for people to disagree with him, to use this as an example of just how little Spencer knows about the deceased.
"You're going to have to make a decision soon, Spence; the funeral home needs to know what to do with the body"
Spencer nods, as his eyes remain unfocused upon the sheets of paper that litter the kitchen table. He's being rude, and knows it. He should at least give Jack the courtesy of looking him in the eye, but Spencer has been unable to do it since the death.
Spencer pushes a hand through his hair, making a mental note to get it cut before the service, another job to an increasingly long list. He is just about to open his mouth when Jack breaks the silence once more from his side of the table.
"You don't need to worry about offending me Spencer, you need to do what you think is right."
Spencer nods again, knowing that words are needed, but he is still calculating the best course of action; he has never and will never be a chancer, Spencer judges, calculates, and theorizes before he come up with the right answer. He doesn't think there is one in this scenario.
Jack sighs loudly, as if he can hear the cogs working in Spencer's head, before banging his hands loudly on the table, forcing Spencer's eyes on his for the first time in two weeks.
"I have given you time Spencer. I know you never make rash decisions, you postulate and theorize, but God dam it Spencer, it has been two bloody weeks! Stuff needs to be sorted, NOW!"
Spencer blinks at the young man that sits in front of him. His brown eyes blaze with fire, and for the briefest of moments it is not the eyes of his sixteen year old 'son' for the lack of a better word, but they're Aarons, bright and oh so alive, and asking him, no demanding him to do this one last thing for him.
"Yes" Spencer croaks, as if he is no longer used to his own voice.
"Right" Jack agrees as his eyes calm down, as his fists unclench so they are palm down on the counter. "We will do this together. We will go through this one step at a time, as we don't have a lot of time, before the body gets so ripe it works out of the home on its own steam"
It's a crass joke, and Spencer doesn't know whether to laugh or cry, so he falls back on what he knows.
"Actually there are five general stages to describe the process of decomposition: Fresh, Bloat, Active and Advanced Decay, and Dry/Remains. And I would hypothesize that the body would be in the active stage as this is within the first month of death."
Even as he is rattling off the information he knows that it is horribly inappropriate and not a way someone should speak of a dead loved one. Yet as he looks at Jack the teenager's smile begins to brighten.
"There is the Spencer I know and love. I thought it was a case of the body snatchers, you haven't recounted any little known facts and statistics for two weeks"
Even Spencer manages a weak smile at this, though the reason for his change in behaviour is never far from the fore point in his mind.
"Right shall we get started? First the easy stuff- Venue. I think it should be a church service and then go back to a hotel for the wake."
Spencer can't help but marvel at the young man who sits before him, gently pulling the lists of funeral details over to his side of the table as they go through it methodically, one by one. Jack is the true genius, breaking everything down into logical steps that Spencer's analytical mind can comprehend. They come at every decision with an almost detached sense of logic. The service is to be held at a church; though no one is particularly religious, it will please some of the older relatives that need to be invited and it takes any further stress off Spencer, that the Vicar can lead the mourners through with gentle sermons and a kindly air, which Spencer is grateful for. There are to be white lilies as flowers, clean traditional and non-offensive, they will kindly ask all mourners for donations instead of flowers, so there will be no big pompous bouquet of garlands to worry about at the end of the service. Music is a slightly more difficult decision when they get to it, both Spencer and Jack know the favourite songs, there is a weird five minutes when they seriously consider a bat out of hell, as it was one of his favourites, but they both decide that it may not be appropriate, so it is decided on Dance of the Blessed Spirits: C W Gluck for the entrance as it comes up on a search of appropriate funeral songs (yes they googled it) and it was a track on of the most played cd's that still lays near the sound system, the song at the end is more difficult. Spencer knows deep down the song he wants. The song that would be most apt, from his perspective but he doesn't say it. It's a mixture of safe-guarding the memories that have been weaved with this song; happy memories that he doesn't want to be marred with the knowledge that this song was played at his funeral, and the need Spencer has to please everyone, and he can see the disapproval on the faces of some of the elder relatives at the idea of an up-beat song on such a sad occasion. In the end it is Jack who mentions it; now sitting between piles of cd's holding one of the rare records that is has not been replaced by newer technology.
"This song would be prefect" Jack states, going to the player and fiddling with it for a few moments, before Spencer begrudgingly goes over to help him, knowing instinctively what track he wants to play.
"What do you think Spencer?" He asks genuinely, as the first notes of the song eek into the air, as Nat king Cole Sings "Smile though your heart is aching".
Spencer smiles sadly as Jack continues "I remember dad playing this." He states though it's not really necessary; Spencer does not need an eidetic memory to remember each and every time Aaron Hotchner played this song during his life with Spencer.
"It started out as a bit of a joke" Spencer remembers, as the music slowly filters through the room; his voice sounding strangely far away as the memories appear in front of him. "It was ironic that a man who very rarely wore anything but a slight frown at work could have smile in his music collection let alone claim it to be one of his favourite songs of all time"
"He would always play it if either of us were in a bad mood. 'Remember to smile Jack; it is never as bad if you can smile'"
He can hear the words as if Aaron is saying them for the first time, to a smaller six year old Jack, who is crying softly on the sofa over a particularly nasty little boy at school who had seemly cruelly interested in Jack's 'two dads'. Spencer had been all for going down to make a formal complaint to the headmaster and having this little punk severely punished for his bigoted views. Yet Aaron has quelled Spencer with a look and knelt down to Jacks level as the first words of the song began to play in the background.
"Remember to smile Jack; it is never as if you can smile"
Spencer wonders if Jack ever realised that Aaron has phoned the school the next morning to inform them if they did not have a talk to the kids about accepting different families a story about backward views in a particular American Elementary would be in an edition of the Quantico Chronicle. Sometimes it helped to be good friends with a communications analyst, or failing that a technical analyst who was great with Photoshop.
"So what do you think Spencer?" Jack asks, as he once again looks sixteen.
"I don't know-"He is about to talk about appropriateness when Jack stops him.
"Stop thinking about what everyone will think. Dad would love it, so would I, and I know you would, so that is all that should matter."
Spencer nods once more as he scribbles the song down, turning it off, and returning to the kitchen, noticing that there are only a few more decisions to make.
"Burial or cremation"
It seems like a rather innocuous decision, but this and the place to keep the casket or urn has been the real reason Spencer hasn't been able to make a decision in weeks. He looks hopefully at Jack, but the boy shakes his head.
"This isn't one I can really help you with Spence" he states, and for the first time, he looks his age, young and a little lost. Spencer feels immediately guilty for putting such pressure on a young man; he should be doing more to help Jack through this. He can't help but feel Jessica would be a much better choice as Jack's carer, yet Jack point bank refused to live with anyone except for Spencer, and the least he can do is respect the young man's decision.
"We never really discussed this. I don't know what he wanted" Spencer admits, as he looks through the paper documenting the pros and cons of each. A cremation is cheaper, and more movable they could bury the ashes, sprinkle them, or keep them. Burial is more expensive, yet still more popular with 3 out of 5 of people being buried. Spencer wishes he could use this knowledge to pick a logical outcome, yet for some reason unlike the other logic doesn't work. Does it matter that cremations are more popular within men in Aaron's age bracket- or that you can get eco-friendly cardboard coffins that are much better for the environment than wood. He really wishes he had asked Aaron when he had the chance, though that would have been an odd conversation.
In the end he plumps with burial, if asked he will state that he wants somewhere for people to go to remember Aaron that will be especially important for Jack when he gets older, but in truth he can't stand the idea of burning the body. The idea of turning his lover, his partner into dust is not something Reid can quite come to grips with.
"Burial" Spencer states quietly, his eyes darting to check Jack's reaction. He takes in a long breath and nods, but there seems to be no involuntary sign of distress so it is decided.
"There is still a plot free next to Haley- your mother I think" Spencer tags onto the end, though he doesn't know why, when the conversation develops to where Aaron should be buried.
"Don't you want him with you? Wherever you end up" Jack asks, genuinely shocked.
Spencer opens his mouth and closes it quickly. To be honest, not that he has given it much thought; he always assumed he would be buried next to his mother, in Las Vegas he assumes as he can never see her leaving the sanatorium.
"I. . . I don't know. I mean that may be a long time away and. . ."
For the first time since Aaron's death Spencer can see anger and hurt play across Jack's face.
"Don't you want to be buried with him Spencer? Is he not important enough? Do you expect you will be with someone else and you will want to be buried with them? You can't want my father to alone. To be buried with the knowledge that no one will join him!"
Jack is steadily getting louder and louder, as his eyes scrunch and his cheeks colour, as he points an accusatory finger in Spencer's direction.
"That's not what I meant." He states loudly his hands out in an appeasing gesture. "I didn't think. I'm sorry. I just assumed you, Haley's family, would want him buried with her."
Spencer is being genuine, for a genius he never realised that his want to appease other relatives, and accommodate what he assumed as Jacks wishes would come across as him abandoning Aaron in the end.
"Why would I want dad buried next to mum? They were divorced, and she's not alone she has Nana Margaret and Gran dad Alfred next to her"
Spencer nods sagely, pleased to note that Jack is calming down; his hands now down by his side as his cheeks lose their angry hue.
"I'm sorry Jack I didn't realise you're thoughts. Why did you say it wasn't your decision when I asked you then?"
"I just assumed you would want to either have him in an urn on your mantle-piece or you would want to be buried next to him."
Spencer nods once more, letting his mind run a mile a minute as he goes through hundreds of ideas. From this outburst Spencer can safely assume Jack expects Aaron to be buried nearby, and though he will not be buried next to Haley it would be thoughtful to be in the same graveyard he could by a plot, enough for Aaron and if he talked to his mother she could be buried alongside, because he really didn't like the idea of her being buried alone either.
"Okay" Spencer states, making another little note in an ever growing list. "I think that this is the main parts sorted I will phone the funeral home now. And I'm sorry jack I didn't mean to upset you"
As Spencer moves to the phone he puts a hand on Jack's shoulder. He is acutely aware that since becoming a teenager Jack has shunned any form of physical affection from adults, but Spencer is secretly relieved when Jack places his hand atop of Spencer's and squeezes lightly.
Maybe things will be okay after all.