Rayna nuzzled her face into her pillow, trying to delay the inevitable. Murmuring softly, she reached her hand across the bed searching for that comforting warmth. Her hand skates across the cold sheets in ever widening circles searching, frantically hoping. Opening her eyes, she blinked against the brightness of the morning light. Sadness washed through her as the reality of the situation settled over her. Tears well in her eyes as she is confronted once again with the emptiness of her bed. Rolling over to that side of the bed, she pressed her face into the pillow. Inhaling deeply, she is disappointed that there is only a faint trace of Deacon lingering on the cotton. Whimpering in agony, she hugs the pillow tightly to her. Her whole body ached with longing. She wanted to be encased in a pair of strong arms, not pathetically hugging Deacon's pillow to her.

The photo of the four of them from the weekend at the cabin, sitting on his bedside table added fuel to her misery. Picking up the photo, she runs her fingers over it. They were all pulling faces at the camera, clearly enjoying each other's company. Rayna wanted that life again. She wanted the promise of a happy life that the new liver for Deacon was meant offer them, instead she was left feeling hollow. She could still feel the terror washing over her, as Caleb walked into the waiting room. Her heart had dropped into her stomach, as she fought the urge to throw up. She wasn't ready to let him go. Her mind was a fog as Caleb lead her out of the room. Her heart was pounding so loudly in her chest, beating out a rhythm that screamed 'no, no, no' over and over. She could see Caleb's lips moving but she had no idea what he was telling her. Her eyes were wide in fright as they skipped around the room, looking at anything other than Caleb. Her heart stopped beating and she gasped as she heard the word, 'Beverley'. She snapped her eyes back to the man standing in front of her, looking at her expectantly.

Her voice was crackly as she asked hopefully, "What?"

Caleb cleared his throat, as he prepared to tell her the terrible news again.

"Um, the surgery went well but as they were finishing up there were some complications. An aneurysm burst, resulting in Beverley being in a coma."

Rayna's heart started beating faster, as the news sunk in. She knew that she should be more upset by the news but at the moment all she could think was, 'it's not him, it's not him'.

"Deacon?"

"His operation went smoothly, he should be moved out of recovery shortly. I will come and get you". Caleb squeezed her hand, where she had reached out and grabbed his arm. He gave her a quick smile to reassure her that Deacon was ok. Rayna felt her legs giving way under her. Caleb led her to the nearby chairs, where she collapse under the onslaught of emotions. Rayna bit down on her clenched hands as tears ran down her face, knowing how close she had come to losing Deacon.

"I..I have to get back, will you be ok or did you want me to get someone?"

Rayna shook her head "I'll be ok. Thank you."

She watched his retreating back before taking a deep breath. Standing on shaking legs, she slowly made her way back to the waiting room, back to Scarlett and the girls.

Rolling over onto her back Rayna stared at the ceiling. Ever since Deacon woke from the operation, they have been struggling to get back their rhythm. Plucking at the bed covers, she was frustrated. She missed Deacon. She missed waking up next to him, missed sitting next to him in silence as they read the morning papers. She missed her best friend. She couldn't remember the last time they held each other as they fell asleep. In fact she couldn't remember the last time she had fallen asleep with him in her bed. The guilt he felt at Beverley's coma had driven a sliver of a divide between them. He had spent every minute at Beverley's bedside, often spending the night sleeping in the chair at her side gripping her hand.

When Beverley awoke, Rayna felt an element of relief that it would now mean that Deacon would be spending time at home with his family. She needed him by her side. She knew that she was struggling to hold everything together. Luckily Bucky picked up her slack with Highway 65, but the girls were hurting. Rayna tried her best to guide them with everything that they were going through. But how do you prepare your children to deal with seeing their Dad escorted by the FBI to jail, let alone seeing it being broadcasted all over the TV?

Teddy was refusing to see the girls, stating that he didn't want them to see him like that. Rayna shook her head at the state of her life at the moment. The two men in her life, who were meant to help and support her in raising the girls were both absent. Teddy with his pathetic excuses in jail and Deacon had disappeared into himself as he struggled to deal with Beverley's death. Tears prickled her eyes as the hurt washed over her. Rayna knew she was being unreasonable, but she was exhausted. She was tired of being strong for everyone. She wanted to pass the baton onto someone else. Whenever anything got too overwhelming for her in the past, she always turned to Deacon. Even when those issues involved him, she was always able to talk to him about it. She had tried to be understanding and supportive for him, but he just pushed her away and retreated further into his anger.

It scared her seeing him so angry towards Scarlett. Rayna knew that he wouldn't turn to alcohol but that didn't mean that he wouldn't find some other destructive way to lessen his pain. After struggling for so long to get to this point, she didn't want their happiness ripped away. Hot tears snaked down her face, as she thought back to the night after Beverley's funeral. Deacon had disappeared shortly after they returned home from the gravesite. He didn't say where he was going, he just grabbed his car keys as he pushed past her, ignoring her pleads for him to tell her where he was going. She thought he had changed his mind as he hovered in their bedroom door way, her tears by that stage had turned into loud sobs. Without once looking at her, he stated without emotion,

"I can't do this."

Rayna's legs gave way and she crumpled to the ground. Her breathing was ragged as her heart came close to breaking. Deep within her, she knew that he was acting out of pain but every nightmare of hers came rushing forward. She had tried to maintain a level of normality for Maddie and Daphne, spending a quiet night watching movies all the while the panic inside her grew. That night she laid in their bed with her emotions on edge unsure of what was to come. She had been in similar situations so often in the past that she had conceived every possible scenario in her head as the hours slowly ticked by. She wasn't sure what time she finally fell asleep but seeing Deacon sitting on the edge of the bed as she woke, she thought she was dreaming at first. He was still bitter and angry, but as she wrapped herself around him and comforted him as much as possible she felt relief. Relief that he had found his way back to her. It gave her hope that they would find their way pass this to claim that happy future together.