So Hey everybody I decided that I would get back into writing. If you didn't know I had previously written a CatoxKatniss fanfction 2 years ago but I took it down as I didn't see it progressing anywhere. Anyway I hope you like it. Comments are always welcome.

Rachel

Disclaimer- The characters and settings belong to Suzanne Collins.

"Peeta... Peeta...Peeta... please stay awake... don't close your eyes" I sobbed.

What use was it. I knew he was gone, he was dead. I was the lone survivor of the 74th Hunger Games. Relief swept over me. It was the end. The games were over. I would never have to kill again. I would never have to live another day in the arena I wouldn't have to fight for my life.

Memories of those who died filled my brain. Rue; the person who reminded me so much of my little sister, the little girl I sang to as she slowly died in my arms, Marvel; the boy I killed, Glimmer; the district one volunteer who I killed by dropping Tracker Jackers onto her camp. Faces flashed through my mind and the sadness overwhelmed me. As much as I hated some of them, they didn't deserve to die; they still had their wholes lives ahead of them.

As the end loomed over me it was then I broke down crying, crying for those who wouldn't wake up the next morning, crying for their families, crying for everyone who had to witness the deaths and most of all for Peeta. Whilst I didn't love Peeta, I still cared for him and that's something I can't say I feel for many people. I must have looked ridiculous the audience, a girl crouched over a dead body in the middle of a field, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Innocent people where dead. Many of whom didn't chose this fate, many of whom were thrown into this just as I was.

I hear the rumble of an engine and I looked to the sky, it was the hovercraft here to take me away. Away from the arena and back to the capital where I would start my victory tour. A sense of dread overtook me as I would have to face the families of all those who had died during the games. I would have to look at them knowing I was the reason their children wouldn't be coming back to them. I hated myself all the more for crying. I hardly knew these people, I was the one still alive and I should be grateful for it.

The hovercraft landed and I slowly walked on board. Just as the door was about to close I took one last look at the arena. It seemed peaceful in that moment but I knew that what happened throughout the past week would haunt me forever. As I entered the hovercraft fully Haymitch was there to greet me. As soon as I saw him I fell into his arms and sobbed. Sobs that racked my body as tears streamed down my face.

"Why did he do that? We... We could have both won."

"You know that isn't true sweetheart. As soon as the district two tributes was dead it was set in stone that one of you would die"

I looked down in shame. I guess I had always known that it would happen but I allowed myself to hope. What a stupid thing to do. It should have been me that as dead, not Peeta. Peeta deserved to be the one that lived; he was the nice one out of the two of us. But would I have subjected him to this life. The life that would now follow, the one of constant nightmares. After the night that Rue had died I had been having nightmares every night. The ones where you would wake up crying and sweating.

"I guess I now have to go and face the Capital?" I questioned

"I know you would like to get out of it sweetheart. But yes. You do."

"Will my sister be there?"

"I'm sorry but no. You will only get to see your family when you complete your victory tour and return to District 12."

"But that months away"

"I know. But that the sad reality of your situation now sweetheart. You will always be in the games even when you're out of that arena"

I looked at Haymitch and I now realised why he drank so much. After what I had seen there was no doubt in my mind of why he drank. He drank to numb the memories and the pain. I tried not to focus on the past few days but it was something you can't get rid of easily.

"Well there she is. The girl on fire" I turned towards the voice. It wasn't one that I recognised. When I turned to look I realised it was not someone I had ever met before. Of course I knew who it was. It was Cato last year's victor. He stood tall, maybe around 6ft 5, with the trademark blond hair and blue eyes that was distinctive to District 2.

"Obviously" I stated. I didn't want to have to deal with him or anyone else right now. All I wanted was to get clean. To clear away the blood and dirt, to clear away the reminder of the last few days.

"She's a feisty one. I'm sad that we never had the chance to meet before now. But of course I wasn't invited to be a mentor this year. Apparently I'm too unstable" He snapped back.

Here's what I knew about Cato. He was last year's victor killing the most tributes of the year. Even when he didn't have a weapon he could still kill. Anyway it was said that when he came out of the games he went crazy. He couldn't complete his victory tour because as it started he killed people. I guess the memories of the games would make you so paranoid and jumpy that he thought he was under attack every second. You could tell in the way he stood that he was always on guard.

"Well it's the truth." Haymitch butted in "You shouldn't even be on this hovercraft now and especially not without an escort. Who let you on anyway?"

"Well considering everyone is sacred of me they will do whatever I want. They don't want to face my anger"

"Well if you don't mind I would rather you weren't here. I don't need to deal with you right now" I growled and walked away.

I didn't know where I was going so I wondered around the hovercraft. I was left alone for the journey back to the Capital, but I still had no place to clean up. I guess that would have to wait. I found a place to sit and looked down at my hands. They where stained with blood and dirt, looking at them reminded me of the past few days. I balled my hands into fits and felt my jagged nails cut into my skins.

As we got nearer to the Capital the sense of dread that had filled my stomach became worse. I really didn't want to have to deal with the pompous people of the Capital. The ones who would never have their children ripped away from them. The ones who watched the deaths of the other twenty-three tributes with glee, voting on their favourites.

As soon as we landed at the Capital I could hear the cheers. People shouting out my name. Flashes from the cameras as they took pictures. I exited the hovercraft with Haymitch, Cato nowhere in sight. Good. I couldn't deal with him and the people of the Capital at the same time. I was escorted to the tribute housing that had been full of life just a week before. But now. Now it was empty and quiet. My footsteps echoed as I walked towards the lift. As I passed each weapon station I was reminded of each tribute. As I looked over at the knife throwing station I could picture Clove practicing with precise precision, as I looked over at the berry section I could picture the fox faced girl learning. In the end though it wasn't enough to keep her alive.

I hated that my room was on the top floor. I would have to travel past all of the floors dedicated to the other tributes. I would have to remember that they where once full of life. The lift journey was quite with Haymitch by my side.

"Was this" I cleared my throat "Was this how it felt coming back from your games?"

"Course it was. But the difference is that I didn't have anyone by my side. I had no one to guide me in the right direction. I was completely alone."

I felt like I could sympathise with Haymitch on one level. We only had each other, only the other would know what it was like to survive the Hunger Games. No one else in District 12 would ever know what it would be like to be there in that moment watching people around you die.

As we reached our floor. I ran to the bathroom, I needed to get the dirt from my skin. I wanted at least one constant reminder gone. I scrubbed and scrubbed at my skin until it was red. As I looked down I saw the last remains of the arena gone. Washed away, how I wish my memories could be washed away like that.

As I finished in the shower and walked back to my old room I was greeted by the sight of Cinna and the rest of my stylist team. I ran forward and hugged each and every one of them thankful that I was still here to do it. It loomed on me why they were here though. As thrilled as I was to see them I also knew there was now a reason for it.

"Well girl on fire it's now time for you to look presentable for the audience."

Thanks for reading everyone. I hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget to comment and follow. I was thinking of writing some one shots from different fandom's so if you have any suggestions don't forget to leave them in the comments.

Rachel