Disclaimer: I do not own Devil May Cry 3 or any other similiar element in the story. Have fun.
Welcome to chapter 1 of...
Dante's most feared... fears:
It was a dark and stormy night. The thunder roared upon the sky. It all seemed like nice weather to stay home. So peaceful...
"OWWW!" Lady screamed. "GET YOUR LAZY HEAD OFFA ME, YOU #$#&!" Dante woke up. "Huh?" Dante didn't realized that his head fell on top of Lady's, umm, well, lets say, umm, just guess.
In a split second, Lady grabbed her Kalina Ann from behind her back and locked on Dante. Dante was scared, although he was an (almost) immortal, invincible demon. "Umm, sorry?"
Outside, a person who was just running home from a picnic when the weather turned bad, immediately heard and saw a large explosion.
A week later, Dante woke up in his sofa, checked the time on the clock and forgot about the whole "incident" with Lady. At demon speed, he zipped to the TV, turned it on, got to the pizzeria and bought five boxes of pizza topped with pepperoni and mozzerella and a few cans of coke, and returned home before the TV was showing his all-time favorite show: The Bert and Ernie show.
"YES!" Dante shouted, and sang along with the theme song, which was 'In Da Tub.'
(Authors note: I do not own The Bert and Ernie Show.) (And oh yeah, if you know 'In Da Club' from 50 Cents, you know the music for this song.)
(ehehehehehehehe)
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go Ernie,
it's your bedtime
we're gonna party 'cause
it's your bedtime
we gon' sip Bacardi 'cause
it's your bedtime
make sure to take your rubber duck cause it's your bedtime
You can find me in da tub
with my mister Bob
listen to this pretty sound
it comes from my rubber duck
I'm in to sitting down
I ain't used to standing up
so come, give me a hug
if you're in to getting scrubbed
As soon as I wake up
I dream about my tub
I like the water deep
so it covers up my butt
people heard I live with Bert
and they think we're in love
I swear I just live with him
I don't let him share my tub
but Ernie ain't gonna change
I won't stand up
And I will stay there in my tub
until I'm all cleaned up
if you watch how I move
you'll mistake me for a puppet or chimp
gotta hand up my butt
but I don't walk with a limp
In the club the lady's saying
Love your striped shirt
They like me, I want them to love me like they love Bert
But on Sesamestreet the Muppets will tell you I'm loco
I've been around longer and I'm cuter than Elmo
Feelin' focused, man
My ducky on my mind
Got my soap on a rope
And the dirty behind
Hot water's on for a while
Then I add cold
I grab my rubber ducky and I'm ready to go
You can find me in da tub
with my mister Bob
listen to this pretty sound
it comes from my rubber duck
I'm in to sitting down
I ain't used to standing up
so come, give me a hug
if you're in to getting scrubbed
You can find me in da tub
with my mister Bob
listen to this pretty sound
it comes from my rubber duck
I'm in to sitting down
I ain't used to standing up
so come, give me a hug
if you like it in the tub
(hey Ernie, that's fly)
A word of Bert
(hehehe you got the bling-bling, Ernie)
"HAHA, MAN THAT NEVER BORES" Dante shouted.
"Ernie, why do you ate so much at Burger King? Look at you now!" Bert said. "What the &, there's nothing wrong with my bodybuiler body, I look like (I don't own him too) Arnold Schwarzenegger." So he stepped on the weight scale and it said 'to be continued'...
"HAHAHAHAHA" Dante laughed off his $$. He then heard something from his bedroom. He stepped off the couch, grabbed his Beowulf equipment, and started towards his bedroom. He then heard more sounds. He opened the door to reveal... "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" was the last thing heard in this chapter.
Hahaha, to be continued. See ya later. Oh yeah, and if you have any suggestions, feel free to put that in your review. The next chapter probably comes at Wednesday or so, so stay tuned.
"ERNIE!" Bert shouted. "C'MERE, YOU'RE GONNNA BUY A NEW WEIGHT SCALE, YOU #$#$$."