have nothing to do.
I have no where to be.
And I'm bored.
Kat sat at the school library, staring at the computer screen and waiting for her sister to finish her after school French lessons so that she could go home.
Really, there was absolutely nothing to do here. The school had banned practically any site that was even remotely fun, all her friends had left long ago, and she was bored. So she sat. And she stared.
Soon, she got bored of that too, so she clicked onto google.
There, she found a picture of the fellowship. And so she sat.
And she stared.
All of a sudden, she was sucked into the computer screen!
Now normally, such a strange phenomenon would hardly go unnoticed in a room full of people, but for some reason, it did.
Well, the girl that was sitting nearest Kat did indeed notice, but she didn't seem to care.
It could perhaps be because Kat is a knob.
In any way, she flew in through the computer screen, and out the other end into… Middle Earth!
"Ouch!" said Legolas, as Kat landed on top of him. (many people seem to have the delusions that Legolas always says 'Ai!', but he doesn't. He to, is a normal person, and normal people say 'ouch'.)
"Yowcha mucha!" said Kat, as she fell of Legolas' soft, cushiony body and landed on the floor. On her head.
She knocked off Gandalf's hat.
"FOOL!" shouted Gandalf, as he turned her into a pelican.
Kat blinked.
Then, Gandalf felt sorry for her, so he changed her back.
But he accidentally got the process wrong, and changed her into a sexy beast of a woman.
Legolas thought she was the sexiest sexy beast of a woman he had ever seen, and he fell in love with her.
Kat thought that she wouldn't ever score a better catch, so she fell in love with him too.
They both stared lovingly into each others eyes, and slowly, Legolas moved closer.
They were mere centimeters away now. She new this, because she was measuring the gap with a ruler.
She could feel his breath ghost over her lips as he moved his hand up to cup her cheek. She had never experienced a more tender moment in her life.
Then, she farted.
"Oops." She deadpanned. "Did I ruin the moment?"
Legolas slapped her. "Biatch! I thought you loved me!" with that, he turned around and ran away, tears in his eyes.
"FOOOOL!" Gandalf screamed in pain and torment, before running away also. But what he didn't know, was that he didnt have his hat.
Kat picked it up.
Putting it on, she turned around and faced the fellowship. "I am your master now! BOW DOWN TO ME!"
And so the rest of the quest was conducted with Kat as the leader, and everything happened exactly as it should have (except that Kat was a lot more violent and evil).
Then, when everyone was running away to Elfy Heaven, Kat sneaked away and jumped back through the computer screen.
Then her mummy came into the library. "There you are Kat!" she said. "Come on, time to go home!"
And so Kat followed, holding the giant grey hat behind her back and cackling to herself.
Now, let us neeever speak of this again…