John was sitting in his room, minding his own business, when suddenly his mobile buzzed.
"Bored. SH" John frowned.
"Where did you get my number? JW"
"Sent a text to myself when I borrowed your phone. SH"
"Why? JW"
"In case I got bored, obviously. Do you want to play a game? SH"
"What kind of game? JW"
"I start a sentence and you finish it. SH"
"Ok, get it on. JW"
"The jumper I'm wearing is…"
"dark blue."
"I like it because…"
"it's comfortable and warm."
"(It also compliments the colour of your eyes.) Today, my shift at the hospital was…"
"exhausting, as always. (Why, thank you.)"
"(You're welcome.) Now I'm tired and want to…"
"take a hot bath, I guess."
"(But you don't have a tub.) Then I would finish the evening by..."
"falling asleep in front of the TV. (No, unfortunately not.)"
"(You don't have a TV either.) My favorite film to fall asleep to is…"
"Titanic! xD (You wrote 'would…')"
"(Oh, you paid attention. :) and good choice!) Today, the colour of my pants is…"
"red."
"Damn, didn't want to write that. JW"
"^^ I wear them because…"
"they are my lucky pants. (Ok, did I just tell a stranger I got red lucky pants?)"
"(I'm not a stranger.) I hope they will get me laid tonight…"
"That already IS a complete sentence!"
"No, it isn't. It doesn't have a full stop at the end."
"... but I know I won't. (Satisfied?)"
"(Why so pessimistic?) Women think I am cute because..."
"of my eyes? (Not pessimistic, realistic more like.)"
"…and…"
"most women are into men in uniforms."
"(So you wear them in the bedroom a lot?) When I go out on a date, I... "
"make sure to pay the woman many compliments. "
"(No answer to my question? Fine…) When I finally get them to sleep with me…"
"I don't think that way about women."
"Ok, I'll rephrase that one: When, after about 300 compliments and 30 dates, 18 paid meals and much flirting and begging on the woman's side, I agree – gentleman that I am – to bed the woman, I.."
"am often very gentle, but more often than not surprise them with a damn good shag against the bedroom wall. (I wouldn't go on more than 28 and a half dates, by the way. ;)"
"(So you DO give away bedroom details, I just have to be a bit annoying.) When I touch myself, I think about... "
"boobs. (I like your sarcasm ;)"
"…and…"
"other female body parts."
"In the military, there were no women I liked, so I... "
"didn't date them."
"(Really, John?) When I have a moment on my own, I…"
"masturbate a lot."
"(Do you want to give me a heart attack?) I could imagine masturbating in my red pants, because…"
"they are really tight? You sure you mean 'in'? (When you last expect it ;)"
"(I have a thing for clothed sex.) When I get a hard-on in them, you can clearly see the outline of my penis through it…"
"obviously."
"(That's MY word.) That turns me on and…"
"women as well. (Really? Sorry, didn't know that. ;)"
"(Now you're doing it on purpose!) So I imagine myself wearing my tight red pants and my military outfit and then I…"
"realize that Sherlock must like this as well."
"(Good observation.) If he was here with me right now…"
"he would wonder why I wasn't wearing that. (Want to help me work on my 'observation skills'? ;) "
"(Tease.) If Sherlock was with me right now and I was wearing that, I would…"
"like him to wear a tight shirt, like he did the other day."
"My first experience with a man was…"
"when my Dad walked in on my masturbating."
"(Ew, I hope that was as far as it went.) The first time a guy touched my cock was when…"
"I touched my cock."
"Cockblock."
"Why? That WAS quite sexy. Made me come, actually."
"Do you like it slow?"
"That's not the beginning of a sentence."
"I like it slow because…"
"women tend to like that."
"(If you write 'women' one more time, I'm going to kill you!) I like it rough and quick…"
"because it makes me come so hard. (Why so violent? ;)"
"(Guess what else is hard right now.) I touched another man's cock when…"
"I couldn't help it."
"ARGH!"
"Didn't write 'women'… wait, now I did… come over then?"
"You're into… no, wait… I'm into violence, especially…"
"if it includes spanking or breath play. (Don't forget the riding crop ;)"
"I have never slept with nor dated a guy and only touched a man's cock when there was no (good) woman around in the military, yet I am interested in Sherlock Holmes, because…"
"he's different."
"And by different I mean…"
"Beautiful… and intelligent…"
"The eyes, I guess. I feel like they can see right through me."
"What's your address?"
"34 Bloomgate street. Oh and the cheekbones!"
"OMW."
"And the lips! How could I forget the lips? Wrapped around my cock…"
"Hold on, right there!"